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ParaPod Movie Pics
ParaPod Movie Picsmore_vert
2019-09-18T09:00:01+00:00
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ParaPod Movie Pics 2019-09-18T09:00:01+00:00close

Ahhh good morning

It's another batch of randomly selected stills from The ParaPod Movie, which toys with the element of chance to produce a lovely treat exclusively here for you on my patreon page. By the law of averages, it'll be one of your birthday as well, so it's a double treat for you and happy birthday sincerely whoever you are.

Really hope your week is going to plan and that all is smiles for the rest of today at least

All the love from me to you

xxxxxxxxxxx



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Comments (2)
user avatar
User #12686825 - 18 Sep 19 09:10
I've not got my glasses, but is photo number 1 a picture of a winking Pacman ghost?
Emergency Little Video
Emergency Little Videomore_vert
2019-08-19T09:00:01+00:00
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Emergency Little Video 2019-08-19T09:00:01+00:00close

Hello friends

Well, turns out that my fleeting musing last week that maybe Monday should be video day has gathered momentum now with this video from the bowls last week. For the record, this wasn't a video I was intending to upload on here, but my semi-paralysis has had me ploughing other fields in search for the quick and easy - which this is.

As I mentioned on Saturday's podcast, I was not aware when this was being filmed that this was Jon Beck's prank, so when I say "horrible boy" I am referring to Johnny Vegas Esq, who I mistakenly believed was responsible. Note how Bev is smiling throughout this, hiding her own nefarious contribution to the planning of this undermining tactic.

The only consolation is that when this inevitably turns up on eBay, I can truthfully claim it was NEVER WORN!

Hope your weekend was nice and that the week ahead is looking easy enough. If any of you are witches or wizards etc, then any spell you can send my way to speed up this broken back would be appreciated.

Oh and fubar is from 4-6 if you want a bit of company. Next week's show is a "best of", as if they can find "best" in all that nonsense.

Much love

xxxxxxxxxx


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Comments (3)
user avatar
User #5278830 - 19 Aug 19 09:04
Horrible friends are the best, aren’t they?
user avatar
ianboldsworth - 28 Aug 19 03:08
Ha - I don't think I actually have any
user avatar
ianboldsworth - 28 Aug 19 03:08
Ha - I don't think I actually have any
In Conversation With Jon Williams - Part 2
In Conversation With Jon Williams - Part 2more_vert
2019-05-06T08:00:03+00:00
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In Conversation With Jon Williams - Part 2 2019-05-06T08:00:03+00:00close

Good morning

As you know, I try my best to not shove audio up on a Monday (not always), as my Fubar show is on from 4-6 so don't want to be in competition with myself. However, given that Fubar managed to put the pre-recorded show from today up as last week's podcast, it doesn't really matter does it?

So here is the second part of my chat with Jon from Big And Daft which concludes the audio parts of the Big And Daft story. Tomorrow brings the last actual post from the Big And Daft story too, so that'll be that back consigned to the history books finally.

I really like this interview, it's more giggly than the first dour affair and also contains the funniest outtake from any podcast I've ever done as its conclusion. Hope you like it.

Also hope you have a very lovely Monday. As I say, am on Fubar from 4-6 if you didn't hear the mistaken release of it.

Lots of love to you

xxxxxxxxxxxx


Comments (3)
user avatar
ianboldsworth - 11 May 19 23:15
I'm going to leave a comment then.
user avatar
User #8577273 - 13 Jun 19 09:29
A really lovely chat. Loved it. Thank you 🙇
user avatar
ianboldsworth - 13 Jun 19 23:44
Pleasure as always x
The Full Story Of Big And Daft - Part 10 (Conclusion)
The Full Story Of Big And Daft - Part 10 (Conclusion)more_vert
2019-05-07T09:01:00+00:00
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The Full Story Of Big And Daft - Part 10 (Conclusion) 2019-05-07T09:01:00+00:00close

Hiya

Hey look we made it through. Well I did at least. Here is the last piece of the Big And Daft history, where I try to conclude. Not perfect at all (except for how muscly I look), but that's me finishing it off.

Hope it's been of some historical interest in hearing about some of the stuff that led to some of the other stuff that you're perhaps more familiar with. I've weirdly enjoyed getting it all out.

(I do know the visual on here is reversed btw - my computer seems determined to film stuff that way no matter how many settings I manage to briefly change).

Have a lovely Tuesday if you please.

Much love

xxxxxxxxxx



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Comments (6)
user avatar
User #2391631 - 7 May 19 18:32
Early ask Ian question then: what did you wish you'd said in this video after you finished? As for the lack of engagement, at least from my POV: It just seemed very personal, didn't have much to comment other than "keep it coming" but that was already happening. Typed that before the end... you guessed right
user avatar
ianboldsworth - 11 May 19 23:13
I genuinely didn't think of anything after recording it, despite my prediction. I think it felt like the end of a book and it just went back on the shelf.
user avatar
User #8878350 - 9 May 19 09:47
I got a nice warm feeling about Danny Baker sticking up for you guys in the previous instalment. Then, today’s news of his sacking. What a waste.
user avatar
ianboldsworth - 11 May 19 23:14
He was nothing but kind to us
user avatar
User #8569822 - 10 May 19 22:18
Only just had the time and WiFi to watch this. Really enjoyed the whole BAD retrospective. Reminded me of when my uni mates all left town and I stayed behind all alone. So thanks. Keep in touch with them. I’m sure the new grown up versions of you all can be mates even if you don’t see each other much if at all.
user avatar
ianboldsworth - 11 May 19 23:15
Ha - I'm the master of making people feel inadvertently bad. Sorry! We are well far away from each other, but Rob and I had a chat the other evening. I'm sure we shall intermittently say hello.
The Full Story Of Big And Daft - Part 9
The Full Story Of Big And Daft - Part 9more_vert
2019-05-04T10:01:00+00:00
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The Full Story Of Big And Daft - Part 9 2019-05-04T10:01:00+00:00close

Hiya

This is a really long one. It's a good one though, exciting but with an unhappy ending. I know there’s one more Big And Daft history post due, as this is nine of ten, but this is pretty much where the actual history all draws to a close. Post number ten is an overall retrospective, as opposed to a linear part of the story, so I guess this is the final chapter of the plot.

I know you’ll miss it terribly, but we’ve had a good innings on it.

We left the story in ruins at the end of the last post, and that was pretty much how the land lay. We’d done our final tour that took in the length and breadth of the UK (well…England and Scotland), I’d had my primadona hissy fit and announced my departure from the group halfway through a show in Brighton, and we’d returned to our respective abodes with the bombshells still ringing in our ears. Emotional, battered, and probably defeated.

Which is how the phonecall from BBC London found us. I can’t for the life of me recall how we came to be on their radar, but the producer Julia Mckenzie called, and asked if we would do some show cover over Christmas. Basically, and this will sound like I am making it up but it’s what we were told, Mark Lamarr traditionally did the show cover at Christmas, like a rockabilly Santa. However, one of his conditions for doing this was that he could smoke whilst presenting. As you couldn’t smoke in the studio, he had a makeshift studio set up on the roof, and they just didn’t want to go through all that again. Honestly. I promise that’s what we were told.

In strode the hastily re-formed saviours of BBC local radio. With not a solitary clue between them of how any of this worked. As is so often the case with this sort of thing, cometh the hour- cometh the panicked desperation that can lead to accidental gold. We really did blow the roof off that studio in our first broadcasts, so – all things considered - it’s a good thing that Mark Lamarr wasn’t up there.

I couldn’t tell you details, but I do recall there being a tangible sense of excitement about us. I remember people talking with big smiles and wide eyes about the possibilities. We’d grown accustomed to that in industry meetings though, and as you’ve heard, when we got to around meeting number five or six, our “charm” started to wear thin when it was obvious that we were never, ever, going to play ball properly with the other children. BBC London didn’t know that yet, but were about to find out when they offered us the midday Saturday slot permanent, straight after Danny Baker. We ousted Mel Giedroyc and Sue Perkins.

We managed to hide our nerves exceptionally well in the planning meetings, and went down to Marylebone High St (where the studio was) several times to meet with Julia, who was retained as our producer and was clearly championing us to the rafters. As time went on, I think we all got a bit frustrated with Julia, as she was steeped in BBC. A conflict no doubt for her, as we were steeped in arsing about and making each other laugh, and she was kind of swept along with it. My overall memory of Julia is a vague feeling of not knowing if she was going to play by our rules or her (BBC) rules at any given time. When she played along with our rules, I really liked her, and when she went all BBC… I didn’t so much. We rubbed each other up the wrong way regularly, yet when we got along she singled me out for solo presenting and even doing cover on the early morning call in show. It was a complicated relationship when I think on it properly. Before we all start thinking of her as the enemy in this story though, let’s remember that it was she who was doing her job properly, not us. It’s just the job hadn’t been updated in thirty years (still hasn't really). There is a far more deserving recipient of the villain mantle…

Jon called me at some point in the week leading up to our first show proper, and said that he’d just heard another presenter slagging us off on air. Now, the caveat to all this is we had made a ludicrous trailer for the show, and had already started being difficult by refusing to record anything other than what we ended up recording. There was an ident sting announcing “The Big And Daft Show”, followed by about fifteen seconds of Rob making fart noises with his hands, before saying “Will that do for the trailer?” and Jon and I saying it perhaps wasn’t suitable, ending with another ident sting “The Big And Daft Show, Saturdays at noon, on BBC London”.

I’ll wait whilst you finish laughing…

Ready? Good.

Now, apparently this had appalled the previously mentioned call in presenter, and he had decreed loudly on his show that he had never heard of us, that we sounded awful and that somebody should tell us that farts aren’t funny. Which I really wish I had an audio clip of. As was my nature, and still sometimes is, I immediately set about plotting my counter attack, which meant listening to this presenter’s show.

It was Jon Gaunt, who nowadays spends the bulk of his time on twitter trying to sell a diet plan that appears to have been pilfered from other sources. This is before we take into account that he perhaps doesn’t have the physique to be giving dietary advice, but let’s not get sidetracked at this juncture. If you ever listened to Peacock & Gamble on Fubar, then you’ll know that the battles resumed many years later, ending with defeat for Gaunt due to a far more even playing field. This is the origin of how the battles started though.

I listened to his show. He was ranty, provocative and pushed buttons, throwing out ridiculous propositions on the news in order to goad people into calling in, which he did very successfully. If you took away the foulness of the attitude and opinion, the technicalities were a winner. People were calling in. After a few hours of baiting and shouting, with very little sign of reasonable discussion or debate, he signed off his show with the saccharine, beyond parody, catchphrase “If you’ve got kids, give them a kiss, give them a hug, and never stop telling them you love them”. Something like that. It seemed that nothing was off limits in his repertoire, no opinion too right wing or vindictive, except when it came to cruelty to kids. A latter day Bernard Manning, who famously would joke about anything except “crippled kiddies”….

Suffice to say, my counter was quickly in place.

It would be fair to say, that we were quickly given the nod that there was a fair bit of dislike around the staff of the station for Gaunt. We heard bits of – possibly apocryphal - tales of his having meltdowns, threatening folk, and one story about him pushing someone down the stairs, which may or may not have happened, but the nastiness I’ve had directed at me, and seen directed at others, doesn’t inspire any feeling of wanting to leap to his defence. He was thoroughly unpleasant, and it seems pathological in him to this day to lash out and screech (he really does have a screechy voice).

His dismissal of us, for all our bravado, had wounded us. As I say, we were pretty out of our depth, and had been given nothing but nurture and support from the other presenters we’d met, yet here was this loudmouth , middle-England oaf, calling us out before we’d even started. You may know that I’m not really one for being trod on, and the three of us united were far more formidable than our childishness suggested. It rather inspired us to raise the bar.

The first show was another belter. We caned through it, never finding ourselves lost for content, and Jon Williams had the task of making sure we hit the news and travel and all that sort of thing, whilst Rob and I mucked about. The roles we’d inhabited in our stage show, came full circle and naturally slotted into the new format. Julia came through to the studio regularly to tell us how well it was going, how she was getting great feedback and plenty of calls were stacked up. It was genuinely exciting. As we wound down the show at 1:59, thanked all our guests and callers, with the countdown to travel already started, I said “And don’t forget, if you’ve got kids…give'em a slap, show’em who’s boss”. Turn out his catchphrase wasn’t beyond pardoy at all. I continued... "There you go Jon Gaunt, you said you'd never heard of us, now you've heard of us..."

I have two favourite parts to this. Firstly, the look on Julia’s face through the glass, wide-eyed and open-mouthed, and secondly, the fact that the lady doing the travel was laughing as she began her bulletin, and had to take a moment to compose herself.

It began.

From that moment on, every week, he was having pops at us. Under his skin already, after he'd started the ball rolling with his dismissal of our show before it started. We were firing back and undermining him and his show (like Ed and I did on Fubar, but a little less adult). People would call our show and slag him off, stirring the pot. We would get occasional messages from “upstairs” to tone it down, so we would do that for ten minutes before resuming. It was frustrating Julia, because it was derailing our shows, but…well… you can’t let people like that get away with it, can you?

The shows were genuinely great for the most part though. We got to interview Kenny Baker, who had unknowingly inspired our puppet alter-egos, and finally ask him if he did indeed like ladies and beer (he did), we had somebody call every week who was in love with their budgie, I recall having a lovely time on air with the weather presenter Iain McCaskill, and there was definitely a guest who was obsessed with bricks.

(Can I just point out that the feature above from the Sunday Times Culture Section was always called "A Good Face For Radio" no matter who was interviewed...it wasn't specifically for me...)

When I think about it properly, other than Renta-gob, everybody at BBC London liked us a lot. We were pals with everyone. I even used to pathetically turn up to the studio an hour early to flirt with Emily Maitless, who always came for a chat and I'd fallen a bit in love with her. Danny Baker was effusive with his praise for us on his show, and insisted on doing a handover on air to give us more of a fighting chance. This wasn’t just professional courtesy, they were willing us to succeed. Over the years, I’ve had a memory of BBC London being a rather restrictive environment, perhaps compounded by some of my subsequent experiences with BBC Radio, but on reflection (and a reappraisal after speaking with Jon recently), they were kind of abnormally supportive of three very inexperienced radio personalities. I should clarify that by “inexperienced” I mean we had zero radio experience. We had no business presenting a flagship programme on what was once the utterly credible GLR station.

They liked us so much, that when Danny Baker went on holiday, they gave us the breakfast show. That's a really big deal, and a huge vote of confidence. An amazing prospect, until we were instructed to do a handover with the show following it. Which was Gaunt.

Management thought, stupidly, that this would provide some sort of solidarity, and be an olive branch between the warring presenters. It actually turned into high noon. I mean, it was an extraordinarily stupid decision. Not helped, by the way, by the fact that our listeners were calling us the Saturday before it, and asking what we were going to do when he came onto our show. Julia was clearly getting worried, and was trying to calm the situation, telling us not to be drawn in. I remember saying “if he’s pleasant and professional, I’ll be pleasant and professional”…

He wasn’t, and so neither were we. Here's how it played out.

At the end of our first breakfast show, he strolled into the studio. Not in a break, but when we were halfway through something else, and just started shouting. Just all Lord of the Manor-ish, dismissing people, making fun of how people looked, giving it the full Alpha, with a level of tedium that he's never matured from. He then started saying what he had coming up on his show, and declared that there was a housing project for paedophiles opening near a school in South London.

“What do you think of that?” he barked, throwing down the gauntlet (no pun intended).

Now. We had been mucking about for three hours at this point, having a laugh and being lighthearted and mischievous. There was nothing in our show that had pointed to there ever being a serious section on the way about the validity of re-housing sex offenders. The three minutes that followed Gaunt’s subtlety-of-a-sledgehammer conversation starter, were a spiral of complete loss of control. There was the suggestion that we thought it was “good he had somewhere to go”, followed by the hissed accusation that we were “three sub-Chris Morris jerks”, whilst Julia shouted into the headphones for us to put a song on. Gaunt had lost his rag completely, in much the same way that ended up getting him booted off proper radio forever when he called a counsellor a nazi on TalkSport. I’d got my shoulders back and was staring him out, our Jon had his head in his hands, and Rob was giggling. We had this bloke totally rattled. He was purple with rage. For somebody who presents himself as such a robust, straight-talking shock jock, he remains the easiest person I’ve ever encountered to throw off their stride into uncontrollable fits of anger, rage and – ultimately – sulking.

The official warnings were distributed that very afternoon. Three for us (one each), and one for him. The next day, Gaunt came into the studio baffled, asking us if we’d have official warnings and saying that he thought it had been really good radio. It wasn’t though. I heard it back recently. It really wasn’t. It was also too late for him to try and buddy up with us. We knew what he was.

We never felt secure at that station again. My paranoia about industry was now considered “just what Ian is like”, and like the boy who cried wolf etc etc. In August, Rob was doing a solo show at the Edinburgh Fringe, and I was in The Comedy Zone, which meant we had to sort out what would happen to our show for that month. Julia was very keen to make sure we didn't surrender the show to cover presenters, which retrospectively may be a clue that she had an inkling that something was on the cards.

The first Saturday of the fringe, Jon presented the show in London on his own, and despite having Brian Blessed as a guest, hated it. The next Saturdays of the fringe, Jon came up and we did an Outside Broadcast from the Gilded Balloon, with a cavalcade of top guests, which was just not fun. It was in the box office, that same place where four years previously we’d been flyering our first ever show, completely unknown but gaining a following rapidly, and having the most exciting journey into an unknown world that we weren’t scared of. Now we were having to hit travel on time, with a producer who wasn’t even hiding her frustrations any more.

We came back to London and did one more Saturday show. I couldn’t tell you anything about it, but Rob was going to be away for a couple of Saturdays after it, so Jon and I were gonna present the next two shows as a duo. In the car park outside the studio, as we said goodbye to Rob, I had a strong feeling that we wouldn’t do another radio show. I think I even said it. That was the last time the three of us were all in the same place together, to this day. September 2002.

Julia called on Monday. They weren’t continuing with the show. Effective immediate. No reason was given.

Of course, I had the last laugh, as I went on to be a huge success in alternative broadcasting with my podcasts, and whatever happened to her? She was the head of Radio 4 last time I heard.

When I put that phone down though, Big And Daft was finally dead. I’ll tell you about the aftermath next time.

Have a lovely Saturday please – thanks for indulging these memoirs if you’ve gotten this far.

Much love

xxxxxxxxxx

Comments (6)
user avatar
User #830951 - 4 May 19 10:13
I take it the idea of any of this getting out there is still very much a no-goer? I shall be sad when this series ends, I've been enjoying the rollercoaster...
user avatar
ianboldsworth - 11 May 19 23:19
That particular audio will never see the light of day mate no
user avatar
User #6939091 - 4 May 19 14:53
These have been so interesting Ian, I too shall be sad when they end!
user avatar
ianboldsworth - 11 May 19 23:19
Thanks Kit, I hope the tears have dried by now though
user avatar
User #8569933 - 6 May 19 21:32
I’ve really enjoyed these posts Ian, for what my opinion is worth. I think I’d have been a big fan of you three if was old enough.
user avatar
ianboldsworth - 11 May 19 23:19
Now you tell me. We could have snuck you in...
The Full Story Of Big And Daft - Part 8
The Full Story Of Big And Daft - Part 8more_vert
2019-04-27T10:00:01+00:00
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The Full Story Of Big And Daft - Part 8 2019-04-27T10:00:01+00:00close

Hiya

Eight parts! That really wasn’t the plan. It’s going to be ten parts in all, not including the conversation podcasts, so that will round it off nicely I think. Memories on this part are properly hazy though, which usually means I was in the wrong in some way, so have blocked it all out over the years. It was the final tour…

On our return from the fringe with The Big And Daft Christmas Show, after a month of pretty much sold out shows, we were in Edinburgh debt. I choose to call it Edinburgh debt rather than just debt, because – as a fringe performer – you are carefully conditioned to see this as not money. It’s at worse “investment” and at best just a number. That’s how I dealt with the magnitude of cash I poured into that festival over the years. Easily enough to buy a house. I’m not exaggerating.

I should make it clear that I am a big champion of speculating to accumulate, and a big champion of putting your own money into projects to – at the very least – make them happen. If they turn a profit, more’s the better, but I’ve always mainly just wanted stuff to exist rather than remaining an idea, because they cost money. So I’m not averse to incurring an Edinburgh debt, as I can see the worth in making something a reality, but there are massive arguments against the pressures put onto you, the “selling up” of PR (with posters getting bigger and bigger and the idea that it’s important to have a “presence” at the fringe beyond your show), and a hundred other different ways that your debt goes from thousands to tens of thousands. Once you’re in the cycle, it’s very hard to break out too. Proper conditioning.

Big And Daft never really got into that cycle, because we were always trying to get back to the home-made feel that had served us so well in that first year. I couldn’t give you numbers, because I don’t remember them, but it was maybe a few grand we owed at the end of the 2001 run. It was a small enough number that one tour was going to pay it off. Which never happened to me again. I was paying off other fringe shows three or four years after they’d happened (basically 25% of my earnings went into that debt for all that time…that’s in addition to regular commission at 15% and all the tax things). Paying off a full fringe run with one tour was, and would remain, a good deal.

We still didn’t want to do the tour though. There was no option to tour the Christmas show, as that had a storyline, set and other performers, but we did have Big And Daft in Space which was easy to pack into a van. That was the starting point for putting the show together, and with a couple of bits pulled out of the first show, we were set to tour a Greatest Hits package. For my part, I didn’t really want to do it though. I didn't want to spend another month in each other's pockets. I didn’t want to be in Big And Daft any more. I had no idea what I did want to do, and certainly no tempting offers from elsewhere, but I felt that what had started off as my baby/company, was no longer the fun thing I thought it would remain. Just the name of it was making me roll my eyes at this point. It wasn’t the best starting point for travelling the UK, going through material we had done for the past four years…

I’ve little to no doubt that I was hard work. I think I was needy, frustrated, probably a touch paranoid, and utterly fed up with trying to hold it all together. When I spoke with Rob on one of those podcasts, he spoke about it in relation to a band, and the idea that sometimes it’s easier to burn it down than go through the difficult process of pushing through. I was literally waiting for my opportunity to burn it down on that tour. Like, it was as awful as I was actually hoping for the right moment to hit the self-destruct button on Big And Daft, for maximum dramatic effect. There was no maturity to it at all, just a vaguely calculated plan to wipe it all away. As Frank N Furter so eloquently put it, “I made you, and I can break you just as easily”.

Now, why I was in a frame of mind to “break” a creative partnership, was complicated and had some, if not complete, validity. There was definitely a mood of feeling under-appreciated, and my contribution not being acknowledged enough (if at all), which I’ve wrestled with in most projects I’ve spear-headed. The truth is, it doesn’t really matter does it? Not as long as the end result is as good as it can be. Regardless of how ego-less you consider yourself though (and I consider myself at the lower end of the artistic spectrum on that front), eventually you want somebody to say “well done”, or point out how invaluable you are in the overall picture. One time, years later, I was on BBC London with Bob Mills, and he was talking about how much he liked Big And Daft, and then – out of the blue – went on a long spiel about how it was clear I was the "creative genius" behind it, and that I held it together, and that I was the John Lennon of the group. There was a great deal of hyperbole thrown in there (I don’t know if you spotted it), but I felt myself welling up a little bit as he was saying it, because it was suddenly clear that this was all I wanted to happen. Just once. That was years after we split, but tells you what was going on in my head beforehand.

Why I was also in the frame of mind to “break” friendships, is far more complicated. I think, on face value, it seems an awful character trait to just turn your back on actual real-life relationships, but it becomes more understandable when you put into perspective the weight of emotional and creative investment, the fact that you’re all gonna carry on working in the same industry, and quite how much time we had spent in each others company over those five years. All of this applies to the break up with Ed after Peacock & Gamble came to a close as well, my assessment was that it just wasn’t good for me to still be around those people. The idea of being around people who were continuing their creative journey without your involvement any more, potentially changing their approach or ethics within it, and trying to continue your own journey with them being nearby, is far too overwhelming a chore to face for me. I’d accept the accusation that it’s selfish, or a sign of lacking strength of character/ confidence/assuredness, but the fact remains that it was there in my head, and the anxiety I experienced at the idea of still being around them post-split, was potent.


I still don’t think I did it right though. I’m actually embarrassed by the dramatics of announcing my departure from the project in the dressing room at Brighton Komedia during the interval of the show. Not the end of the show, half way through it. Like I say, I was looking for the best moment. I’d also want to point out that this is all assessed retrospectively by the way, I didn’t know that’s what I was doing as it was happening. There is, at least, that…

It didn’t go down particularly well to be honest. The show hadn’t been going so great anyway, and the second half was one of the darkest moods I’ve ever been in on a stage. I sort of wish I could tell you that we ended up dropping character and just having it all out on the stage there and then, but that was just implied in the performance rather than a reality. That dressing room, and the subsequent drive home when I sat silently in the back of Rob’s car, is one of the few recollections I have of the tour. Weirdly, going through the tour dates, I couldn’t tell you much about any of them. I don't even remember doing most of those gigs. Just snapshots.

I remember going back to perform in the Gilded Balloon studio, where we had done Big And Daft In Space, and it being a glorious packed and celebratory show (it’s a real shame it wasn’t the last one). I remember trying to learn how to drive an automatic because Karen from the Gilded Balloon had hired us one to get around the Scotland dates. I remember after one of the dates in Scotland, that we went back to the flat where we were staying, put the key in the wrong door, which then opened it, and woke a stark-naked gentleman in a bed. I remember Russell Howard coming backstage at the Bristol show, all excited to meet us, and other people telling us what a brilliant open spot he was on the Bristol comedy scene. I remember that we laughed a lot, and we rowed a lot. I also remember Rob and I standing on the main stage at Carnegie Hall in Dunfermline, with Rob playing guitar and me singing Pinball Wizard, unplugged, and filling that massive empty room with sound. It was the best I ever heard him play guitar, and the best I ever sang. It was our last ever show, and we were killing time in the afternoon, and it was the most memorable time that I thought to myself that I might be making a massive mistake in bailing. Then a member of staff came in and told us that we were in the wrong room, and our show was in the café next door. Only right that we finish in the manner that it started…

The tour ended, and that was us. The debt was cleared, there were no future plans, and I’d left my own company. I honestly had no idea what to do. I had picked up a few gigs and university tour performing as the character of Ray Peacock, who had appeared in some of the earlier Big And Daft sketches, and was just doing the original script that Jon wrote about him wanting to be Lord Mayor Of London, with a lot of audience banter and interaction. They weren’t enough gigs to live off though, and my big project, the constant I’d had in my creative life, was over and done with.

Well…not quite…there was one last twist in the tail. After feeling that we’d missed the boat and were on the industry scrapheap, BBC London got in touch.

I’ve done brilliant cliffhangers in this series…

Hope you are all well and set for the weekend

Sending love

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In Conversation With Jon Williams - Part 1
In Conversation With Jon Williams - Part 1more_vert
2019-04-20T09:00:02+00:00
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Hello there

Happy Saturday to you. So here is the first of two parts of the chat I had with Jon from Big And Daft.

General note, the audio is variable. I just listened to it half on headphones and half on speaker and I'd suggest speaker for your optimum listening pleasure. We recorded ourselves either end of a phone line as Jon lives a million miles away, and whilst I have tidied it up there is a tiny bit of echo remaining sporadically. I did all I could with it, but that's to flag up.

It was a draining chat, but we also had a laugh. I've felt a bit of heartache ever since we recorded it. For the record, and regardless of history, I love Jon very very much.

Hope you're having a wonderful weekend

love to you too

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Comments (6)
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User #8569759 - 20 Apr 19 21:54
He seems lovely but a wee bit sad about it all,which I understand. Very open and interesting I look forward to the next bit
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User #8577273 - 26 May 19 06:01
This was a bit sad. I’m glad you guys caught up & managed to talk about it though. It must feel good to clear the air.
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ianboldsworth - 6 Jun 19 21:22
It was all ok. He said after that he didn't want to come across as sad because he was all ok
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User #885437 - 20 Apr 19 17:24
Very interesting chat! I can sense a bit of tension there, which would be inherent in most conversations between two people who haven't properly chatted in a very long time.
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User #830951 - 21 Apr 19 07:03
JON HAS TERRORVILLE. Get him to run off a few dozen copies will you?
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User #830951 - 21 Apr 19 07:05
Oh, also this was a really good listen. I enjoyed the Rob ones but even at their darkest it was still pretty knockabout. Jon's reflections are more raw, and really interesting for it.
The Full Story Of Big And Daft - Part 7
The Full Story Of Big And Daft - Part 7more_vert
2019-04-16T19:16:06+00:00
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Hello there Tuesday

Fear not, we are heading into the final stages of the Big And Daft story, as today we reach the third and last fringe show we did together. We still have the tour and the radio show to cover, as well as a couple of lovely/melancholic/funny podcast conversations with Jon Williams, but we are definitely over the worst part of the mountain now and into our inevitable descent.

As I previously told you, The Big And Daft Christmas Show was originally written as just that - a Christmas Show for the Soho Theatre. Due to the ineptitude of peripheral players in this story, it never happened, despite me penning the script quicksmart after our second fringe run. This meant that by the time we had decided to reboot it for a fringe run, we had lost our original cast of Johnny Vegas, Count Arthur and Terry Titter, and Trevor Lock. They’d all agreed to the London run, but getting them on board for the entire fringe was too demanding a prospect to get the signatures on the contracts. So we set about re-casting.

The show was originally 90 minutes with an interval, but for the fringe would be locked into one hour maximum, so I started a rewrite which managed to accommodate erasing the henchmen characters that Arthur and Terry were to play. All we had left to cast was a little orphan boy, and an evil Father Christmas.

The plot, if I may be so bold as to claim it had such a thing, involved the three of us coming to the end of the time we had to spend together to get our inheritance money (One father, three different mothers, brought together to get the cash, remember?). The show opened on Christmas Eve (in the story), and very quickly the three of us were kidnapped by Father Christmas and locked in his dungeon (can’t remember why). In the meantime, our puppet alter egos (also played by us) noticed we were missing and set off to rescue us. Whilst we were in the dungeon we met an orphan boy who had been kidnapped years ago by Santa, who gave us a growth potion (I really don’t remember what the logic of this was). Santa killed the boy and threw the growth potion away, but it landed on one of the small puppets that had just arrived to rescue us, making him huge and able to bring down Santa's lair so that we got home for Christmas. I seem to recall that there was a twist ending which implied that Santa was actually our father, and the show ended with us taking delivery of a T-Rex (which Rob had wished for).

Did I say it was a brilliant plot? Can you find anywhere in this writing where I claimed it would rival a half-decent script? No, I didn't and you can’t, so shut up.

We cast Andre Vincent as Santa to replace Vegas, and Adam Bloom replaced Trevor Lock as the orphan boy. Andre had seen us in the first year at the fringe and was a big enough mouth to get the word around that we were doing something good, and I’m pretty sure Adam had been on tour with Rob. Both of them, I think they’d agree, have challenging personalities from time to time, with Andre enjoying a dominant role in creative proceedings and Adam’s over-analysis of every word written. Adam and I fell out a bit during the run, when I had to try and reign him in from improvising (no issues with improvising, but he was doing stuff like slagging the award nominees etc, which I also have no issue with, but there was a plot to be getting across and it was all a bit out of place). Andre, I managed to stay on civil terms with till after the run had finished, then I gave him a wide berth. I should point out that I’m all good with both of them now, and they both did a decent job in the show itself. As you’ll hear Jon say in the forthcoming interviews, we ruined Big And Daft in that show by sharing it with other cast members (the puppets don’t count because that was us as well). It wasn't those specific people, it was just any people.

I’m writing this whilst I’m away, so I can’t get my hands on all the pictures from it, but I’ve a few on my phone to share with you. The first one I’ll show you, is myself and somebody who has so far gone unmentioned in these posts, which is really out of order given his involvement with these shows.

That’s Martin Beaumont, who was credited as director on all these shows. When I met him, it was back when I was booking acts for the Torrington nights, and he went by the stage name of Dave Dave. He was an excellent stand up comedian, who had worked his way up over the years in “mainstream” circles. He’d worked with Les Dawson, did a series on TV with Gary Wilmot, and Bill Oddie is his brother-in-law (honestly). He was the first, and only, comedian to take me under his wing, and he helped me out with writing an awful lot. Admittedly. you had to be a bit savvy, and double-check that you hadn’t co-written something that was just an old recycled generic gag from the seventies, but for the most part he was super smart and a brilliant collaborator/teacher. His direction consisted of him coming to see the shows when they were work-in-progress, and then bombarding us with notes and ideas. He remains the wisest person I’ve ever met in the comedy world, and I really wish I was still in touch with him. He just sort of disappeared. I was briefly back in touch with him when my mum went on a cruise and he was the comic on there, but not much since, which is a shame.

Whilst we are crediting previously-unmentioned team members, I should also flag up Dani Bachelor who did our choreography for the dance routines, especially as her job was significantly more involved in the third show. There were song and dance routines all over the place mate, including the Golden Ticket as usual, Hushabye Mountain, and If I only had a brain (which contained my favourite bit of the show, where Rob sang “Oh I, can tell you why… MCA” and then did the actions to YMCA). Simpler times. Dani choreographed all of these bits, all unpaid, but we did let her marry Jon after we had finished, so she didn’t leave empty handed.

For the first time in our history, we needed a proper space for rehearsal, as it was the first time we had done a proper show rather than a collection of vignettes. This proper space was Jon’s back garden, and was also used for the building of the set which was done by Steve Delaney (Count Arthur Strong) who is an amazing carpenter. The set was three flats (free standing boards), which came together to make locations. They were all reversible and turned around during the show to make the different places like our house, the dungeons, and the woods as the puppets came to look for us. We did the classic old panto trick of having a ghost chase them around, and there was plenty of audience interaction to go with it. I was also shrunk at one point, which was something to do with the growth potion (I honestly can’t remember what that was about). Here’s a couple of pics of those bits….

I really wish I had a picture of the oversized version of the Little Rob puppet, because it was insanely huge and stuck up over the set right at the very end with a booming voice. No matter what I write about these shows, I don’t think I’m doing them justice.

Most of those bits were added into the script in rehearsal. You’ll have heard me say to Rob during the podcasts, that I wrote the script but we all “gagged them up” and that’s completely true. Shrinking me was definitely Andre’s idea in rehearsal for example, and I’d have never have thought to add “MCA” to the end of “why…”.

Most shows at the fringe claim to be “hugely anticipated” in their PR, but The Big And Daft Christmas Show really was. We were free of management shackles, and managed to semi-reproduce our carefree attitude of the original fringe run. We were over in Teviot House, still with the Gilded Balloon, in a big venue, and we took ownership of the organisation. I even persuaded the box office to add “Big And Daft Action Figures” to the merch chalk board, at £89.99 each (along with “Ian – sold out”). A couple of weeks into the run, the box office told us that if those items had actually existed in real life we would have shifted loads of them by now, as people were trying to buy them every day. I remain skeptical about that…

The show sold out with relative ease, still full of industry, and we were taken out for business lunches with several management companies who wanted to grab ahold of our recent emancipation. James Taylor from Avalon offered to take on the three of us, plus myself and Rob as stand ups, and Jon as an actor. That was the best deal on the table. Between us sacking Colin and the fringe run beginning, Rob had finally followed suit and left Colin too, so we were footloose and fancy free to re-assess and go with the best deal for all three of us. Jon and I felt that was James, but again Rob wasn’t convinced it was the right move. Ultimately, we didn’t sign with James as a three, although I did as a solo artiste when Big And Daft was done and dusted. Jon gives a few thoughts on this during the upcoming chats I had with him. It was another difficult bit of business stuff that ruined the fun of being silly with your mates.

As you can see, we did great on the reviews as usual, and we finished that fringe run feeling back on track creatively, but not quite getting along as mates. Nobody was being pinned up against a wall or anything, but there were tensions creeping in, compounded by the fact that there was a financial shortfall at the end of the run (there was always going to be), which meant we had to do a tour on the back of it to balance the books. None of us wanted to. We just had to.

We told the promotor very quickly that it was going to be a Greatest Hits tour. Despite what we were claiming publicly, the funeral bell was ringing…

That’s for next time though, isn’t it?

Hope your week is going lovely

Much loves

xxxxxxxxxx

Test Shots from the poster photo shoot

My poster design. Worst one - clearly rushed.

Somebody heard the show was a hit and tried to worm his way back into my affections.

Comments (2)
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User #8878350 - 16 Apr 19 19:43
Really been enjoying reading these history items, though they’re shot through with a sense of impending doom at how it all finishes. And just to show I’m paying attention: you mentioned choreography by Dani Bachelor, but the posters say Bygraves. Was it a professional name or something?
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ianboldsworth - 18 Apr 19 23:24
Oh nobody dies, don't worry. Yeah Dani was Bachelor in real life, and Bygraves professionally. She was Max Bygraves' niece.
In Conversation With Rob Rouse Part 3 (part 2)
In Conversation With Rob Rouse Part 3 (part 2)more_vert
2019-04-14T09:00:01+00:00
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Hey there

Right I explained all this yesterday. This is the final part of my chat with Rob.

He's been the lovely lad he always was in doing these for me, and as soon as I've finished all the Big And Daft stuff (it's SO nearly done), I'll be sending him that 75p as a matter of urgency.

His Date Night podcast is great, and you're unlikely to see a better live comic, so it's worth the trip if he's riding into a club near you at any point.

If you want to listen to these podcasts in the order they actually were recorded you want to do 3 (part 1), 3 (part 2), 1, then 2. Simple.

Have a wonderful Sunday

Love

xxxxxxxxxx

Comments (14)
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ianboldsworth - 18 Apr 19 23:41
I'm gonna presume that's about the Sidie code? It's at the end of the doc too
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User #5258333 - 14 Apr 19 12:42
It occurs to me that Rob is very similar to one Hacker T dog at times except with a slightly less annoying voice..
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ianboldsworth - 18 Apr 19 23:40
Ha - he's mellowed too...
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User #8569759 - 14 Apr 19 20:03
I loved these too
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ianboldsworth - 18 Apr 19 23:42
and me!
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User #4130115 - 14 Apr 19 19:06
Absolutely loving these Ian, thank you.
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ianboldsworth - 18 Apr 19 23:41
Thanks Joe - pleasure
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User #9220128 - 14 Apr 19 17:38
Thanks so much for letting us listen in on this. It’s typically generous and is a genuinely beautiful listen x
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ianboldsworth - 18 Apr 19 23:41
Pleasure (it actually was)
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User #8592136 - 15 Apr 19 21:16
Rob's Ian McKellen impression is a spot on John Shuttleworth.
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ianboldsworth - 18 Apr 19 23:42
Consider this passed on
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User #363615 - 15 Apr 19 12:44
The whole big and daft retrospective has been great and these are no different - two funny people making each other laugh!
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ianboldsworth - 18 Apr 19 23:42
Oh we always did have a proper laugh. Except when we were dealing with other people.
In Conversation With Rob Rouse Part 3 (part1)
In Conversation With Rob Rouse Part 3 (part1)more_vert
2019-04-13T09:00:02+00:00
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Hello there

Oh my goodness we're getting into sub-sets.

So this is Part 3 (part 1) of my chat with Rob. I've split it into two parts because it was just too long. To further complicate things, this was actually the first bit of the conversation I had with Rob, but I decided to use later bits as the first two parts on here, as they were more specific to the shows I was talking about.

It doesn't matter if you've not followed that. This first bit is just Rob and I chatting and having a laugh, and then we start talking about Big And Daft before it ends. The next (and final) bit, is a general chat about Big And Daft and how we operated in the industry. It also - finally - contains a full explanation of Meat Wars.

So you've got a Saturday and Sunday consisting of a two part conversation. Which is easy enough.

Have a lovely weekend when you're not listening to these.

Much love

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Comments (10)
user avatar
User #12686825 - 14 Apr 19 12:50
Is there anyone here who has been following Ian since B&D? I’ve found this whole series fascinating, right from the moment I realised “Oh! You were Ian back then too!” Then the “this is a boig and doyft production” at the end of the pods. I’d never put it together before. Cant wait for the other interview.
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ianboldsworth - 18 Apr 19 23:45
yeah B.A.D was a company name before we did those shows and I kept it for a while afterwards too, but it's now resting forever! i don't think there's anyone left who was a fan of Big And Daft. I don't mean that they're dead, but they're dead to me for not staying with me.
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User #4166211 - 14 Apr 19 00:39
I think people on your Patreon are fans of you, rather than a specific era you, so definitely would have interest in the Big & Daft stuff. Somebody might prefer the Parapod, or P&G, or P&G with Raji, but they're still going to be interested in the other work. It's like Rik Mayall fans who are only familiar with his work with Ade getting to hear about Kevin Turvey, or Michael Palin fans who only know Python and later getting to hear about Do Not Adjust Your Set, or Graham Linehan fans who only know about his pioneering work in being a complete fucking arsehole on Twitter discovering he used to work in comedy.
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ianboldsworth - 18 Apr 19 23:44
I do what I can to cover every base of what people may like, there's not always cross over on everything!
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User #8878350 - 14 Apr 19 14:04
Delighted by the whole concept of kids’ cigars. Inspired.
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ianboldsworth - 18 Apr 19 23:46
COPYWRITED THIS END ALREADY
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ianboldsworth - 18 Apr 19 23:46
or copyrighted.
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User #830951 - 13 Apr 19 09:09
I know you've said there's no record of a lot of Big and Daft stuff, and things like the radio shows you don't feel you can put out - do you have any scripts knocking about? I can't speak for everyone but I know I'd love to get more of a flavour of exactly what you guys were like.
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ianboldsworth - 18 Apr 19 23:43
hahahaha "scripts"
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ianboldsworth - 18 Apr 19 23:43
(I actually think I might have the Christmas show or the tour tech script - so maybe... again, as we said, it doesn't transfer to the page particularly well)
The Full Story Of Big And Daft - Part 6
The Full Story Of Big And Daft - Part 6more_vert
2019-04-07T20:42:19+00:00
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Hello there

Happy Sunday evening to you, and what better way to soothe you off to a well-earned sleep than the latest installment of the history of Big And Daft? Possibly melatonin capsules, but in the absence of them this will have to do.

It's been a stupidly chocker day today, with some last minute movie prep, some last minute garden fixing (my lawnmower is clinging on to dear life…a bit dropped off it and the blades went over that bit…it’s got to the stage where it’s eating itself), and a successful deadline for that mammoth commission art project I’ve had over the last few months. All being well I’ve just sent off the final drawings, so that’s a job well done and completed. My next art project is going to be completing those "Hold On" tree pictures for the Etsy store, which I've already cleared some time for next weekend.

Whilst doodling away on the Wacom tablet today, I’ve been worriedly thinking about this post (and tomorrow’s in fairness, as I have to get that done this evening too as it’s Fubar tomorrow). The last one ended on quite the cliffhanger, and I would be remiss to not once again emphasise a few points.

Firstly, we were very young and we didn’t know what we were doing. Secondly, nobody is pointing the finger and holding grudges at all. Thirdly, for all three of us, and the peripheral players, we made mistakes and did things completely incorrectly, but nobody is the villain in this story, this is merely me recounting what went on.

We were about to go into the office and sack our manager. Partly to do with the baffling quashing of our BBC development deal, partly because of the fudged deal for the Soho Theatre Christmas show, and partly because it was becoming very apparent that he didn’t get us at all. That’s not as ridiculous as it sounds, as we were a hard thing to get I think. That appears to have been quite the constant for me over the years. Just when you think somebody is completely on the same wavelength as you, they say something like “Oh this would be great for kids telly” and you won’t to slap them around the head.

Also, despite what you may have concluded from the scraps and skirmishes contained within my work, I’m really not one for conflict and rows. Like, I hate it. I’m decent at putting together a decimating argument, if I’m sat talking about something as ridiculous as ‘ghosts’, and I’ll be first to the armoury should I see an injustice taking place in a supermarket or something, but walking into an office to essentially tell someone you think they’re useless, and I’m struggling there. All three of us were uncomfortable about it, and very disappointed. That was how the conversation went mostly. How disappointed we were after putting trust in somebody. It was actually emotional in places. I remember my throat tightening a bit as I was saying to Colin that I felt stupid that I'd defended him. I don't recall however, what it was I'd defended him about, and these posts have given me no clues as to what I could have possibly thought was "good management". As I say though, we were young and naive.

So we sacked him. That was the long and short of it. He sat behind his desk, kind of crestfallen, and we stood in front of him like the naughty schoolboys we were. Schoolboys sacking the headmaster though.

Now, the original deal with that management, was he was managing Big And Daft as a three, and Rob as a solo performer. I wasn’t doing stand up at this stage, but would regularly pester to push through and have some of the gigs that were being offered, without any joy. Apparently I “wasn’t ready” (which – with retrospect – appears to have been the management catchphrase of the time for everything). As we were leaving the office – post sacking – Colin brought up this matter of clarification. I think he said something like “So I’m no longer representing Big And Daft or you (to Rob) as a stand up?". I was in the middle of rolling my eyes at the state of denial, and wondering why somebody who had just been sacked needed a definition of what "sacked" means, when Rob announced that he was still staying as a stand up, it was just the Big And Daft horse that he was riding out on.

You know when you see people in comedy shows do a long turn towards somebody, open-mouthed in bafflement? Now imagine that, but it’s two people either side of one in the middle who’s looking dead ahead. It is the one solitary time in my life I have uttered the word “huh?” and it hasn’t been an affectation.

Naturally we didn’t have the row in the office, that was imminently booked for the second we got out of the door downstairs. All three of us went down, with Jon and I essentially marching in charged silence. As soon as we hit the sunlight outside the office door, that two of us would never enter again, it began.

Both myself and Jon rounded on Rob, in utter disbelief, and Rob – heartbreakingly – did his serious and confused voice. Again, retrospectively, these things look very different. As I said, I wasn’t doing stand up at this point, so had nothing to lose. Jon also had no interest in solo pursuits, but Rob – just as he had when we’d first met him at the Torrington – had a finger in another pie and had to look out for that. He also had a load of gigs booked in via Colin, and I guess the fear would be that they would all be out of the window or tossed to one of Colin’s other clients. We had got ourselves so secure in wanting to return to our independent ways, after having our creative baby stoned in front of us, that it hadn’t occurred to Jon and myself that there would be a fear-factor in Rob for the other string to his bow. At that point, all we could do was vent our frustration at him though.

“If a plumber had destroyed your bathroom, you wouldn’t then let them do your kitchen Rob”. I clearly remember saying that. I told you I can concoct a decent argument…

It was like…well…explaining the argument against ghosts to Dodds. In these moments of confrontation, Rob would avoid eye contact, lean back and pat his knees as he spoke slowly. I don’t even recall what his counter argument was, but we left Goodge Street with some major clouds of tension hovering above us.

Jon and I discussed it on the phone later. The bitching began in earnest. In our defence, it was primariy about Colin rather than Rob. Rob, we certainly saw as a kid brother. I think he is a year younger than us, which seemed relevant then, and was such a cartoonishly loveable buffoon that it’s hard to stay cross at him. Not that I dismissed this as a challenge in the limited time Big And Daft had left you understand, but it became clear that it was a case of managing his confusions rather than condemning them too much. I can’t claim success in that, but that was the idea. I actually think both Jon and I stayed a bit annoyed about this for the rest of our Big And Daft days. It sort of gets followed up later on too.

With the bitching out of the way, we settled into our new found freedom, and forced a second wind. Remember, there was a third show already written, The Big And Daft Christmas Show, and we could come up with no good reason not to do this show on a fringe run. The fringe being in August – before you say that – was not, and is not, a good enough reason to not do a Christmas show there. That was gonna be our third (and final) fringe show. If you saw the flyer yesterday, you’ll see that we had already decided that in the print. It was the third part of the trilogy (as if that had been the plan all along…). We were stuck in a bizarre management situation, but Rob in Big And Daft was with us.

I spoke to Ed Smith at Karushi, a promotions company who had been growing in their shows at the fringe. I asked him if he wanted to take the third Big And Daft show to Edinburgh 2001, and got an immediate – and very keen – yes. I then spoke to VVL, who still had us willingly tied to a video distribution deal, and asked if they’d shove a bit more cash our way to pay for a set. I could hear Tim at VVL roll his eyes down the phone, but he said he would do what he could, and I hung up feeling confident he would come through.

The three of us calmed down, and all eyes were on an early Christmas in Edinburgh…

Which is what I shall tell you about in the next one of these.

Hope you’ve had a lovely weekend, and are all set for the week ahead. I’M NOT. Fubar tomorrow, office day Tuesday, Dentist and filming on Wednesday… and it carries on much the same for the rest of the week. I’m glad I have you there.

Much love

xxxxxxxxx

Comments (4)
user avatar
User #19167937 - 15 Apr 19 22:07
Loving this history. Once it's done, I'd be interested in a deep dive into The Ray Peacock Podcast as well as Peacock and Gamble. All the process stuff is really interesting to me
user avatar
ianboldsworth - 19 Apr 19 00:10
I think the behind the scenes of those projects was mostly recorded in the shows themselves. Give it twenty years though and I'll consider it...
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User #6939091 - 11 Apr 19 12:30
I know you've voiced concern that not many are interested in this history, so just wanted to say this continues to be absolutely fascinating!
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ianboldsworth - 19 Apr 19 00:10
thanks Kit...wasn't "concerned" as such, but you want stuff to be interesting though. Just that! It's the needy artiste in me. A most unattractive quality I am aware.
Flyer Scan
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2019-04-06T21:15:21+00:00
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Hello there

As the Big And Daft story is heading towards it's tragic conclusion, it's time to provide you with the front and back scan of the third (and final) Big And Daft fringe show, The Big And Daft Christmas Show.

The next Big And Daft post will be telling the tale of that (although there was some pre-story in the last one if you'd care to get up to date).

Feel free to print this out and stick it up in your bedroom, so any visitors can say "What on earth is that?", and then you can explain, and they can say "Never heard of it".

Hope your weekend is going lovely and swimmingly

Much love

xxxxxxxxxxxx


Comments (2)
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User #830951 - 6 Apr 19 21:43
Hey, you never said you worked with Sue Perkins.
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ianboldsworth - 19 Apr 19 00:11
I've worked with Mel Giedroyc loads.
The Full Story Of Big And Daft - Part 5
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2019-04-05T10:01:00+00:00
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Hey there

Time for another installment of the history of Big And Daft, and you may have worked out that we are entering a period of decline that – spoiler alert – ended with us going our separate ways. We’ve still got one more fringe show to get to, as well as some other spin-offs like the tour and the radio show, but we were attempting to climb a greased up pole at this stage.

So, to recap, we’d signed with a management company who had decided, for still unknown reasons, to pull us out of our BBC development deal, under the foolish assumption that a second hit fringe show would increase our worth.

I almost don’t need to write this post, do I? Who ever got dumped and ended up fancying their ex more? For our part though, we’d delivered, and Big And Daft In Space had been, to all intents and purposes, a hit fringe show. One can only imagine the panic this threw our manager into, as he must have been counting on lightning not striking twice so he didn’t have to return to the BBC.

We enter, rather strongly, into a speculation period here, where I shall regale you with the asumptions we held at the time, that may or may not be correct. What I can tell you with certainty, because I spoke to the BBC producer in question years later about it, is our manager did not contact the BBC again on our behalf. Certainly not the people there who were our supporters at any rate.

I also found out later that Gary Reich from Chrysalis, who had produced us in the TV show Terrorville on UKPlay, had contacted our manager as he wanted to produce a Comedy Lab with us for Channel 4. Comedy Lab, if you don’t know, was a season of pilots that Channel 4 would produce every year, that aimed to be innovative and inventive with a view to getting a full series commission. I was in one years later called Skin Deep with Steve Oram and Tom Meeten, set in a tattoo studio, which was my best ever acting in a beautifully produced and filmed pilot, that criminally went no further – to the bafflement of everyone involved. Comedy Lab was – for the most part – a brilliant launchpad though, and had produced That Peter Kay Thing (which led directly to Phoenix Nights), and Trigger Happy TV (which led directly to far too much Trigger Happy TV until it was wrung dry of any of the innovation it once briefly showed, miaow). Gary apparently tried several times to get a response about the Comedy Lab, and eventually gave up in the face of silence. Years later I asked him why he hadn’t contacted one of us direct, he knew us after all, and he sadly told me that he wasn’t really allowed to. As far as he had been concerned, we had employed a manager who had then given him the cold shoulder, presumably under instruction from us.

The swagger of certain managements may be the worst part of the comedy industry, because the behaviour of your representation reflects so badly on you. I’m not passing the buck, because – of course – the act themselves selects their representation, and in doing so select the kind of representation they have. On leaving the stand-up comedy scene, my overall reflection was that it’s not a place for management. There’ll be good management out there somewhere, I’ve no doubt, but invariably management want everything on their own limited terms, want you to do what they want you to do, and if you show any sign of truly having a mind of your own then it’s a pointless marriage. You’ll hear in the imminent first podcast that I did with Jon Williams from Big And Daft, that the mis-management of us in that middle year, had long and far-reaching repercussions.

But anyway, back to the story. What we had in our favour was an unerring nerve and ambition to try different things, so the very week we left the fringe from our second show, I wrote the third. The writing split amongst the three of us was rather complicated, in that I had ended up doing the bulk of it. Most of my output had been informed by stuff that Jon and I had come up with in idea form, which had – in turn – evolved from the three characters we’d all come up with organically together, but I was the one who went away to script and structure it. I’d probably written more than half of Big And Daft In Space alone, and my ego was getting the better of me.

There was certainly a little bit of niggling with the amount of attention that Rob was getting in our press. He was singled out regularly, with good reason I might add, but he also had the benefit of being the most extreme character in the three. I remember that comparisons with Stan Laurel were made in some of the press, again totally justified, but it evoked a latent frustration that, metaphorically, Oliver Hardy wasn’t being given his due in being as essential to the act. Compound that frustration with the secret workload I was undertaking in bringing this to the stage, and I was in a situation where I eventually thought “Right…I’m writing the next one on my own, and I’m getting a sole writing credit for it”. It was a way for me to get recognised as the lynchpin that was holding this together, even if the reality was that this frustration and ego was making me the bomb within that was going to blow this all apart.

I’ve mentioned feeling certain guilts about how that period played out, with the main one being how my – ultimately unfounded - insecurities battered Rob on a daily basis. Another guilt and – more so – regret, was that I didn’t write that show with Jon. Ultimately, in rehearsal, we all ended up chucking further stuff into the mix, but the original script – whilst decent enough – would have been far better if I’d shared the creating of it with Jon. Creatively, the only person whose come close to being an equally inspiring writing partner was Ed, but I’d still say Jon edges it if we are picking a winner. Things move very fast when you’re feeling under the cosh though, so I quickly and stubbornly wrote it myself.

The plan was, to back up Big And Daft In Space with a Christmas Show at the Soho theatre. It was half a play, and half a pantomime, and involved a proper storyline for the first time. In my defence, this was another reason I wanted to take on the solo writing duties, as I felt I was best equipped of the three to write a plot-based show. On the business side of things, we had been told by our management that they had a great relationship with the Soho theatre and it would be an easily done deal. Sure enough, we went with Colin to have a meeting at the Soho Theatre pretty soon after the fringe, with a first draft script already penned, and were given the go ahead to start putting the production in motion. We left our management to sort the booking proper…We should have just left our management.

The cast for that show was the three of us, Trevor Lock playing an orphan boy we met whilst locked up in a dungeon (I’ll explain later), Count Arthur Strong and Terry Titter playing henchmen (I'll explain later), and Johnny Vegas playing an evil Father Christmas (I said I'll explain later). I’m not even messing. Everyone agreed and penciled it in. In fact, the only person who didn’t sort a commitment was our manager. By the time I pulled him on it, as we wanted to schedule rehearsals, it was too late. The Soho show fell through. Then our manager started emailing budget statements out of the blue and talking about how we were going to be recouping the losses from the fringe run...

To quote, when we had been discussing the budget for Big And Daft In Space, he said "You won't have to write me a cheque". Which we had reacted to with the understanding that his management company was going to pay for the show. Which he'd let us believe, without clarification. Remember in the last podcast with Rob, when we were discussing how some management companies tie acts up with debt? And remember what I said earlier in this post about them being the worst thing in comedy?

It was the last straw for us. We went to the office to sack our manager. Which is going to be a difficult part of the story for me to tell, as I want to get across before I tell it to you, that none of this matters to me any more. I don’t look back at Big And Daft with any sense of judgement on the three key players (well maybe still a little judgement on myself which I think is allowed...I have it in perspective), and I don’t hold anybody up as shouldering the blame for bizarre decisions. Rob said on the recent podcasts that I did with him, that we were only capable of making the decisions we were capable of, with the limited experience we had at that point, and never a truer word was spoken.

During that meeting though, when we went into the Goodge Street office to sack Colin, Rob surprised us all with the bizarrest decision yet…

OOOOOH FRIDAY CLIFFHANGER!

Have a lovely day please, hope you've a weekend worthy of you planned.

Much love

xxxxxxxxxxxx

In Conversation With Rob Rouse - Podcast 2
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2019-04-02T08:00:01+00:00
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Hey there

Ooooh, here we go. Now we start scratching the surface and getting down to it all. All accompanied by the beautiful sound of birdsong as we had gone out into the garden, where Rob's garden table steadily fell to bits. Metaphor on metaphor.

Some pretty strong language in here, but in our defence we were mainly quoting somebody else, so take it up with them and their potty mouth.

Have a brilliant Tuesday if you would please

Love to you

xxxxxxxxxxx

Comments (2)
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User #4166211 - 3 Apr 19 01:10
Rob seems a really good guy.
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ianboldsworth - 19 Apr 19 00:16
I don't trust anyone who's that genial
The Full Story Of Big And Daft - Part 4
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2019-03-29T10:00:02+00:00
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Hello then

Well, this is turning into quite the opus isn’t it? I perhaps should have just made it a book in the first place.

First off, admin. Welcome to all the new patrons from the last 24 hours, and sincerest thanks for your support (and the rest of you - just everyone here). As there’s such a huge amount of stuff to get through, you can either select to view posts in order by month, or by clicking certain topics in the “tags” section. It’s a difficult thing to organise stuff on here, due to the odd design of the site, but “tags” are the best way of negotiating around to what you want to see or hear the most. The posts are all categorised with keywords for what they’re generally about. Enjoy.

Back to this latest installment of the Big And Daft history (or “saga” as it’s turning out to be). Naturally you don’t know the ins and outs of my life at the minute, but I’ve spent a couple of hours on the phone to Jon Williams from Big And Daft this afternoon, to record his thoughts on the Big And Daft years (and subsequent years). Genuinely can’t wait for you to hear Jon talking, as I presume most of you won’t have any knowledge of him. You’ll like him. It’s an emotional, yet very funny, chat, only about 17 years overdue. On the way so soon.

I’m currently trying to work out how much of my exhaustion is due to going back into the history books, how much is down to the dental annihilation yesterday, or how much is simply due to me having way too much on my to do list. I very nearly postponed this post today, but have chosen to battle through and there’ll perhaps be a day over the weekend where I just do a post for Ask Ian questions, if that’s all ok?

So when last we met, Big And Daft were leaving our first Edinburgh Fringe in 1999, with a load of industry interest, agency interest, and fifty whole pounds in profit. If you are wondering where that fifty pounds went, then you’d better ask Rouse. He lost the cheque. Honestly. He lost it. Yet another very fitting event in the existence of Big And Daft.

As soon as we were back in England, I started contacting the people who’d voiced an interest in us. We had a meeting pretty quickly with Gary Reich from Chrysalis, who was quick off the mark in getting us in. As I said, he’d been at the BBC, and had worked a lot with Sacha Baron-Cohen (he co-created the Bruno character…which, if you knew Gary…You may have guessed). He made no bones about how much he wanted to work with us, and offered us a development deal which he was up front about saying wouldn’t be as much cash as the BBC would surely offer us. I think he thought he would win us over with his passion for what we did, and it came pretty close. We followed up the Chrysalis meeting with a meeting at BBC TV Centre, which was all very impressive to us at that time, and a relatively junior producer, Simon Lupton (who is now very high up in UKTV and produces on Red Dwarf) had been assigned our case under the instruction of the head honcho at the time, Myfanwy Moore. Myf was working lots with Lucas & Walliams, developing Rock Profile and the early stages of Little Britain. Again, Myfanwy laid her cards on the table and said they wanted us signed up.

We didn’t actually discuss any money things that day at the BBC, they merely stated their intention to commission three pilots from us, which were a narrative sitcom, a broken sketch show (that’s what they call it), and I think it was a narrative sketch show (which was most in line with what we were doing on stage). Chrysalis were offering one development for a sketch show if I remember right. We really liked Gary, but the BBC had properly turned our heads (particularly when Simon took us to the Blue Peter garden).

Then began one of the issues with Big And Daft. In the absence of any management, the contractual negotiations unfortunately fell to me. I got all the contracts (as Gary predicted, the BBC deal was worth three times what Chrysalis offered), and took all the follow up calls. I was no expert negotiator, but I got it into a decent place with a decent offer, as well as starting the negotiations with VVL who were the video production arm of Universal, that had started giving sponsorships to new shows with a view to tying them up for later VHS releases. I’ll say right now, rather than keep mentioning it, that VVL ended up being a brilliant supportive partner throughout the history of Big And Daft, and they regularly topped up the sponsorship so we could buy sets for shows etc. All they got in return ultimately was their logo on our posters and flyers, and some brilliantly entertaining meetings.

We signed up with the BBC, and started working on stuff immediately. The objective was to place us onto the channel UKPlay – which was an entry channel for new comics (where Matt and David had done Rock Profile). It was a half music and half comedy channel, so all shows needed a rough split between music videos and sketch stuff. We were always under the cosh with that, as Rock Profile had absolutely nailed the best way of ever doing it, and nobody would come up with a better idea. No matter what idea you came up with, it would forever seem derivative of their show. We tried though.


It was also left to me to break the news to Gary Reich that we had opted for the BBC, which was a dreaded conversation. The measure of the man was his immediate acceptance of it, and his reassertion that he would still like to work with us. He came good on it too, and was the only producer we ever made any television for, as he cast us in a show called Terrorville on UKPlay, which was set in a digital world and also starred Count Arthur Strong, Terry Titter, Noble & Silver, and John Reid. One of us replaced Catherine Tate in that line-up, who was moved off the project. I don’t know which of us would be the funniest to have bumped her...(I'm pretty sure it was us, which shows that Gary perhaps wasn't the savvy producer at that time we thought he was.)

In Terrorville, we essentially reappropriated sketches from our first fringe show, whilst adding a further scene where Rob had built a rocket in the back garden. We could literally do anything, of any scale, with a digital world, and what is bigger than a rocket? Exactly. Nothing is. In the last episode we flew off into space, which was a nice segue into our next fringe show, Big And Daft In Space (if you ignore that the rocket crashed pretty much immediately in Terroville).

Look, it wasn’t good. I can't even find an image online from it, so that shows the impression it made. Not one image. I don’t think we thought at the time it was particularly good, and we didn’t overly care for the end product, but it had gotten us moving in the right direction, and showed the BBC that we could actually do the work if they managed to stop us messing about in meetings. It was the optimum time for us to click up a gear, and start sending in the scripts and ideas to fulfill our contract and hopefully get a better one.

Then we got a manager.

I’m sort of choosing to tell you about that with as little emotion as I can, because I actually don’t think his actions came from a bad place. I think - personal opinion - at that point, he was severely out of his depth in the comedy industry, but refused to drop the pretence of being “big time”. Which then led to some baffling decisions. The agency was called Real Talent, and the manager was Colin Dench (who still produces Stewart Lee’s dvd releases the last time I looked). At that time, Colin looked after Ross Noble, Trevor Lock, Andrew Maxwell, and us. And – with regards to us – I think the term “looked after” is used loosely. His first goal, it seemed, was to get us released from our BBC deal.

Now, I think this came from the fact that Ross Noble had famously turned down television opportunities, and it had bolstered his worth on the stand up circuit. Which is all very understandable, as Ross remains at his best riffing in a room and creating magic from nothing. It appeared that, rather naievely, the same tactic was being Pavlovianly applied to every other act on the roster at Real Talent, as if we were all free-wheeling stand-up improv clowns. Which wasn’t the case at all. Nevertheless, Colin went on to stomp all over the deal we’d worked so hard to get, whilst I secretly spoke to Simon Lupton at the BBC and said this wasn’t at all what we wanted. As Colin was legally our representative, Simon was in a position of no power. It was so, so frustrating, and so, so stupid.

The take of Real Talent was that we weren’t ready to be doing telly, and should build up our worth as a live act before committing to TV work. So, I kid you not, the plan was to quash an existing TV development deal, go and do a brilliant and improved show at the fringe, in order to get a new development deal. It doesn’t make any more sense to me written down. If anyone can throw light on any possible plus point, I’m happy to listen. You may have noticed that Big And Daft are yet to benefit from it, and this was in the year 2000.

You might also be baffled as to how anybody in our situation ever accepted those conditions, and the truth is, we kind of didn’t. We rowed and rowed about it with Colin, but the damage had already been done, and we had an impending Fringe run coming up. It eventually got to a point where we just had to get our eyes back on the stage work, and worry about the business nonsense later. Which is what we did.

Big And Daft In Space, shoved a vague narrative over the original premise from the first show. The sketches were slightly more connected, as the characters had received their inheritance money and set up home on the moon. Ever the fool, Rob inadvertently locked us in the bunker with concrete, and once again we were all stuck in the same place together. For frame of reference, see every sitcom ever made. Golden rule of situation comedy, trap opposing personalities together. It’s really simple.

The show was upgraded to the Studio at the old Gilded Balloon, a venue that no longer exists in anything but micro-ash around the Scottish capital after the fire. The show sold, very well. The word of mouth from year one had continued, the fan base was growing, and the reviews came in even better. I’ve saved myself a job really, because Rob and I went into more detail about it in one of the podcasts I’m gonna release, but we basically took the very best bits of the first show, and wrote a new show around them.

It was our finest moment of the three fringe shows, with a belting poster to match. We also had Norman Lovett essentially playing Holly from Red Dwarf replacing my voiceover about the backstory of Big And Daft, and it never stopped being a thrill hearing his voice over the speakers in the blackout. Maybe don't tell Doug Naylor though. I've managed to avoid it cropping up in conversation so far. Norman did this for nothing, as a favour to three lads he didn’t even know. Given that he took a fiver off me for the podcast I did with him on this patreon, that really shows he was in a very generous mood back in the 2000.

We’d not caved in with all the ludicrous, business, dick-swinging that was going on around us, and we’d done what was asked of us in producing an upgraded, successful follow up show. Now we could instruct our manager to go get this development deal back, just like he said would happen…

I could leave that as a cliff-hanger, but it’s hardly a spoiler to say his plan turned out to be the stupidest plan anybody in my periphery ever had. Earlier on, I said that it was unfortunate that I was being left to do all the business dealings on behalf of Big And Daft when we left the fringe in 1999, but – without blowing my own trumpet – it’s mostly unfortunate that I didn’t continue it.

To be continued...

Have a brilliant Friday please

Much love

xxxxxxxxxxx

Comments (4)
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User #8878350 - 29 Mar 19 17:26
Real talent. Unreal management. What a tool.
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ianboldsworth - 19 Apr 19 00:24
In fairness, none of us really knew what we were doing
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User #10779382 - 29 Mar 19 10:13
It’s properly upsetting that the TV show didn’t get made. Those episodes sound amazing. Would love to have seen it!
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ianboldsworth - 19 Apr 19 00:23
let's be honest here...it would have been awful. But the "making of" documentary would have been amazingly funny...
Rob Rouse Interview 1
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2019-03-24T18:51:55+00:00
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Hello there

Right. I'll be straight with you. When I started Retro Week seven days ago, I never anticipated that it would culminate with myself and Rob sitting down and going over Big And Daft. But that's what I did yesterday.

Here's the thing, we have never, ever, spoken about it since. That's odd in itself, but mostly odd that there's never been a debrief on how it all fell apart. Neither on or off the record. So I spent a few hours with him, after calling him on Friday, and we did what we hadn't done. I'll try and work out something with Jon at some point too.

There's at least three of these podcasts, and this one isn't so heavy. I wanted to go through, show by show, and have a reminisce about it, whilst knowing I also wanted to broach the darker aspects of it at some point. Even at the risk that I wouldn't come out of it so well. This is us trying to remember The Big And Daft Comedy Show from 1999, our first fringe. I am going to get you up to date with the subsequent shows at some point, as I've been doing for the first one, and we spoke a lot more which was kind of cathartic, kind of emotional, and not a little deep (for us).

At the point this recording starts, we had already recorded an hour about Big And Daft generally, which I think I'll release last, and the subsequent chat covers Big And Daft In Space and some of the difficulties we had behind the scenes as well as the break up. This one is easy listening though.

TBH we mainly just had a lovely day catching up. Very grateful to him for having me over to his house with little notice, to go over something neither of us were expecting to.

Hope you've had a lovely Sunday

Much love your way

IB

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Comments (9)
user avatar
User #4166211 - 30 Mar 19 21:56
Finally getting round to catching up on the Big and Daft stuff. I think it's getting less feedback not because it isn't interesting but because most of us will only have a sketchy knowledge of Big and Daft. So for most of us we can't comment on a specific thing we can only say something like "Really enjoying this". I've personally been trying not to do posts like that because it feels like it's just adding more stuff to your workload. Just those minutes it would take for you to click and read "Very good" will add up over time.
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ianboldsworth - 19 Apr 19 00:33
Everyone should just say I am brilliant every post
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User #4166211 - 19 Apr 19 14:34
I know what you mean. I'm always shocked people don't just come up to me in the street and worship me.
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User #8569759 - 26 Mar 19 18:27
Just got round to listening to this,really enjoyed it looking forward to more. Think it would make a good film,like a comedy Anvil (I've not seen that film to be honest). Have you ever thought about making a film? I've heard it's easy..
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ianboldsworth - 27 Mar 19 01:30
If you could see the glare I am doing...
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User #8577273 - 18 Apr 19 13:46
This was so interesting. I would have loved to have seen BAD live. It sounds incredible, crazy & so funny. I’m really grateful that you share these snippets of your life with us Ian. Thank you.
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ianboldsworth - 19 Apr 19 00:34
Thank you Shae - my pleasure. They were idiotic shows but we had the times of our lives for most of it.
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User #8568944 - 28 Mar 19 00:07
Just heard your Fubar pod where you feared that these "retro" posts were not interesting your Patreons. Well, I don't want to correct you, BUT YOU'RE WRONG! I've found the posts and the interview with Rob to be fascinating and I can't wait for the other instalments. So, that's you told then!
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ianboldsworth - 19 Apr 19 00:33
Haha - I shall consider myself put right!
The Full Story Of Big And Daft - Part 3
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2019-03-23T11:00:01+00:00
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Hello there

Can I first point out that Martin O'Brien (who was on The Mental Podcast) has been in touch to voice his displeasure at his involvement in An Evening With Allan Aspel being expunged from history in these posts. I am delighted to remedy this, and say that Martin played guitar in this show, whilst I did singing as the audience came in, and also created a character called Stinky, who was a schoolboy that came onto the stage during a costume change with a pole between his jacket sleeves like a scarecrow. It was very funny and a huge shame that it remains his solitary stand up performance in a long and fruitful stage career. That do? Can I get on?

Time for part 3, where we join our heroes on their arrival at the Edinburgh fringe 1999…

I can’t emphasise enough how out of our comfort zone myself and Jon were. Rob had obviously been up to the fringe the year before, for his triumph in the So You Think Your Funny competition, and was also doing the stand up showcase The Comedy Zone in the evenings after our show, but for Jon and I, there was no frame of reference whatsoever. I mean, we knew nothing. Not where our audience would come from, not what we were meant to do, nothing about how to network or present ourselves, absolutely no idea. Retrospectively I would be adamant that this was the thing that made that first show what it ended up being; an underground, secret club that gathered momentum with word of mouth and a cult appeal. We had no PR, no management, had no idea about who our competition was (or indeed any concept of being in competition with anyone), we just had our show and nothing else was relevant.

It’s bandied about as advice that anyone taking a show to the fringe should have been there before, to get an idea of how it all works and prepare. Although the winds of the comedy world have surely changed since 1999, and the creeping spectre of ambition and tactical campaigns are ubiquitous, I’d still argue that the best way of doing your first Edinburgh Fringe is knowing nothing. Not just because I was part of a show where that happened, which went on to be successful, but also because the pressure this absolves you from is not to be underestimated. When I look back at that period, which you may have noticed I am doing, I am mainly staggered and impressed by the arrogance and industry ignorance with which we arrived there. Genuinely, we had balls of steel. There was an unspoken rule of “let them come to us rather than us pander to them”, which I’d have tattooed on myself as a reminder of how important that is for a comedian. As soon as you start tailoring what you do to what you think people want, rather than what you actually want to do yourself, you’re consumed by cynicism and on a slippery slope to fraud. Just my opinion. BASED ON FACT.

After we’d seen our sales figures on arrival (or sales figure to be more accurate), Auntie Karen Koren – the boss of the Gilded Balloon – gave us a pep talk in what we needed to do to unite bums with seats. As I said in the last post, we’d accidentally ended up staying in Leith, which turned out to not be in the centre of Edinburgh at all as Rob had thought, but out by the coast, and our plan to just flyer outside our flat was met with incredulous/pitiful eyes by Auntie Karen. She also told us to avoid the Royal Mile as everyone and their dogs would be flyering there, and to instead hammer the Gilded Balloon box office. The building no longer exists as it was destroyed by fire in 2001, but there was a lovely box office room with arches outside it on Cowgate, which was where we lived for the majority of that month.

That’s all gone now. Which is a proper shame. Although, weirdly, that bloke in the suit in the road was still standing in that exact spot the last time I was there.

That’s where I met everyone. I played chess with Jerry Sadowitz in the box office behind those arches (even though I didn’t know how to play chess, which made him drop his usual tolerant and calm demeanour), flyered for my show with Steve Oram, Tom Meetan, Miranda Hart, schmoozed industry folk (inadvertently), fell in love with front of house staff and and got caught kissing with a girl in the hallway who’s ex-boyfriend had unexpectedly turned up and proper kicked off.

It was mainly for selling the show though, and we engaged in several “publicity stunts” (which we would announce as publicity stunts right before they happened), ranging from breakdancing, to singing, to Jon just carrying me around the room. Again, I can’t empahsise enough how little we played the game we were meant to play, in favour of inventing the game we wanted to play. I’ve no doubt we annoyed as many people as we wooed, but we wooed enough people to fill our venue and get a momentum to the show.

(no wonder we ended up selling out with tickets costing that)

The show itself, was a mix of vignettes, unconnected, about that premise I told you. Three boys born to different mothers but the same father, who had to live together to get their inheritance money. There was a scene where the little puppet versions of us convinced me that I was able to fly, which culminated in the most fantastic black out you would ever see (all the lights were killed when I reached maximum height with my dive, and in the darkness you could hear me loudly clatter to the floor). From day three I had to wear hard kneepads for the rest of the run, because they were getting battered so much by my blind crash landing and I could barely walk.

We sang “I’ve got a Golden Ticket” from Willy Wonka, after I pulled the golden inlay from a packet of Silk Cut, with a fully choreographed dance. My favourite thing was seeing the audience, without fail, burst into applause and delight when this unexpected moment began.

That whole show was built on surprise, and it just kept topping itself. The fact that it was hidden away down an alley was a surprise, the puppets were a surprise, the musical numbers were a surprise, all topped off by ten minutes before the end when a voice over said “And that’s where we leave our story, but you may be wondering what happened to these three lads? Well… they became…Oasis”, followed by the Oasis/Beatles medley I was telling you about before. Every review pinpointed this, and every review singled out Rob as his “playing the fool” was only ever beaten in comedy by me in Peacock & Gamble which was a far more restrained and nuanced performance. In my opinion. BASED ON FACT.

Notice cleverclogs Stephen Armstrong from the stuffy Sunday Times being all pompous in his critique. This began a long relationship between us where we battled for his approval. There’s more to follow on that…

Once Malcolm Hay, the longstanding comedy editor of Time Out, started backing us and instructing comedy producers to be knocking at our door, they did just that. Time Out actually had that clout in those days, before it insultingly consigned its comedy section to a postscript. For the bulk of the fringe we had sold our show ourselves with our ludicrous flyering, and guest spots in Mervyn Stutters pick of the fringe, Peter Buckley Hill and some comedians , and at the Fiscal & Firkin Pub up the road (it's not called that anymore) which ran a comedy night. We had gone in there for a drink on the first day of the fringe and got on really well with the bar staff, so we spent most of our time there (in fact, one of them was the girl who’s ex-boyfriend caught us). On one night in particular we were on stage doing our Oasis song, when we were hurriedly told that one of the Gallaghers was walking up the road, causing us to hastily stop, and start improvising some other nonsense. The one time our balls of steal failed us, could have been the story of the fringe. Of course, there’s every chance it wasn’t him. As you can see I don’t even remember which one of the Gallaghers they were claiming it was.

We’d carved out a sell out show, with no backing at all, and in the last five days of that run you couldn’t move for industry. The two that started creeping to the front of the queue though, were Gary Reich who had left the BBC to take charge of comedy at Chrysalis, and Myfanwy Moore who was now in charge of development at BBC comedy. It was the perfect storm, as obviously there was a degree of competition between them, and we ended up being the trophy they were battling for.

In the nicest possible way, we left Scotland at the end of that month being wanted men.

Oooooh cliffhanger, isn’t it?

Hope you’re having a brilliant Saturday

Much Love to you

Xxxxxxxxxxxx


Comments (6)
user avatar
User #12686825 - 24 Mar 19 15:53
Proper cliffhanger indeed. I reckon you’ll all go on to major Hollywood success. No spoilers.
user avatar
ianboldsworth - 27 Mar 19 01:31
Ah you clearly know that's what happens and are pretending you don't
user avatar
User #830951 - 23 Mar 19 15:22
Same. And these posts are just making me wish even more that their work still existed in the world in some way - I asked in all of the nerdy corners of the internet if anyone had Terrorville... Nada.
user avatar
ianboldsworth - 27 Mar 19 01:31
Count Arthur Strong's bits in it were better than ours in fairness
user avatar
User #5558976 - 23 Mar 19 12:56
I’m loving reading these, but feel sad that I never saw Big and Daft live.
user avatar
ianboldsworth - 27 Mar 19 01:30
WELL WE HAD PUT A POSTER UP
The Full Story Of Big And Daft - Part 2
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Hello there my Thursday friends

I’m still in recovery after the movie shoot I expect (I’m writing this in the early hours of Tuesday morning for your records), and after the debacle of the Star Wars – What The Movies Didn’t See podcast yesterday, it’s time to return to retro week with the second part of The Full Story Of Big And Daft.

I’d also like to flag up that this retrospective nostalgia has been a bit emotional for me. It was all so long ago and far away, and I think for a while I shrugged it all off and got on with other things. Writing this has really reminded me what an amazing laugh and exciting time it was. I’m sure I’ll expand on that in my summing up when I get to Part 40 of this story, but yep, been an interesting look back to a forgotten/blocked out time.

So. What was once a one man band in running the comedy nights at The Torrington Arms in Finchley, became a three-man team. I mentioned that all the bills were booked up in advance, as though this was a good thing, but very soon the bits that Rob, Jon and myself were doing between acts were making these shows go on for an absolute age. Rob was still doing gigs on the circuit, and had entered the So You Think You’re Funny competition, for which I’d been helping him write material. I’d actually written some stand up myself, but had no intentions or ambitions to join the comedy circuit in that way, so had passed it on to him. He quickly started progressing through the heats of the competition, whilst the three of us continued to write sketch stuff to perform at the Torrington nights.

I actually can’t remember how it happened, but we also picked up a few more clubs. We had one at the Hogs Head in Watford, one at the Viaduct Inn in Hanwell, and another one that ran for one horribly unsuccessful night in Hounslow.

I had moved on from working for Wetherspoons, as the sister of a girl I was knocking about with had got me a job working at a local newspaper in telesales. As you may expect, my heart wasn’t in it, but the parent company of the paper had other papers that were covering some of the areas we had gigs in, so I was getting large boxed advertising for free most weeks. All three of us were still doing day jobs whilst running these clubs. If memory serves, Rob was working as a security guard for a massive bank in the city. Yes, that Rob.

The clubs were ticking over, and we were building an audience, but we were all getting drained fast writing brand new material each month. The sketches were things like American Cops wearing ladies clothes, or ….god I can’t actually remember. I’ve spent about five minutes thinking since writing “or”, and I can’t for the life of me remember any of the other “sketch” things we did. That’s bonkers. What I can tell you, is the bits that started working the best were the bits where we were on stage just essentially playing ourselves, albeit slightly exaggerated versions. There was a long piece where we put forward our plans for Millenium celebrations called Millenium Fever, and one thing where we sat in a line on the stage while Brimful Of Asha played. We stifled giggles until the word “bosom” appeared in the song and then fell about laughing. You probably had to be there. It did surprisingly well. We were moulding the mood of absolute underdog unprofessionalism, which I’ve continued to favour over the years. There’s a lot to be said for not being a needy and openly ambitious comedian onstage. I know that sort of comedy leaves me cold. Sillyness trumps faux sincerity every day of the week.

Eventually, Rob had to be away for the month as he had gotten to the final of So You Think You’re Funny, so Jon and I continued running the clubs in his absence. Between us we convinced ourselves that if he won, that would be Big And Daft done for, which was completely incorrect. The only guilt I still carry about Big And Daft is the pressure myself and Jon accidentally heaped on Rob by assuming he would be out the door at any point as he got more successful. Spoiler alert, but he never did leave Big And Daft. He made some weird decisions like, which we will get to in time, but they were never malicious or conniving. It was only long after it had finished that I considered how stressful our constant suspicion must have been for him, especially given that it was completely unfounded. I’m getting ahead of myself though…

Rob did win So You Think You’re Funny, from all accounts with ease too. The first thing I asked him when he called from backstage to tell me, was how the material I’d given him had done, and he told me it had been a high point. I thought I’d shot myself in the foot. I’d given him this killer material, he’d won a competition with it, and now my project with him was going to fall apart because he would be famous now. Absolutely idiotic and ungracious on my part. Also fundamentally wrong on every level. That material won him nothing, he was just a fantastic performer (and still is). He could have been saying anything and still won.

Now Jon and I have prepared ourselves for Rob to come back to London to announce he is fleeing the fold, but we're set for blushes. Rob sat with us and told us that he had been asked by Karen Koren at the Gilded Balloon (who ran SYTYF), to come back in 1999 with a solo stand up show. She’d promised him a venue, and the full backing of Gilded Balloon Productions. We were waiting for it. He was gonna say that it was a big opportunity for him, and that he’d have to focus his efforts on that, and so long suckers, but nope. He’d told her he didn’t want to do a solo stand up show, but instead wanted to do Big And Daft there. She’d tried to persuade him otherwise, but he’d stuck to his guns. Shows what we knew.

A couple of months later Karen came down to London to meet the three of us and make a decision as to whether she was going to let us do it. If you don’t know her, Karen is kind of brash and formidable, outspoke and constantly espousing her comedy knowledge. For the first half hour of our meeting she barely hid her contempt for myself and Jon, these flies in the ointment that were stopping her showcasing the winner of her competition at the Fringe in 1999. We stuck to our natural state of being childish and silly. By the end of the meeting, she had her arms around the three of us and we were calling her Auntie Karen (which I do to this day). Like I say, sometimes not playing the game is the way to cut through the B.S.

Everything was in place, the offer was on the table and we’d accepted it. She’d given us the Wee Room, which did exactly what it said on the tin. A highly thought of, but tiny, venue in a building that was a hostel on Cowgate outside of Fringe time.

What we didn’t have was a show.

So for the next six months we started putting it together. We made the decision to play ourselves for the duration, abandoning the sketch format in favour of having these consistent characters throughout. There was talk of us having a plot, but we realised very fast that this was way beyond our capabilities. The show would be a series of unconnected vignettes. Snapshots of our daily life, with the premise that we were three brothers with the same father but different mothers. Jon was studious and naively serious, I was sarcastic and mischievous, and Rob was a dumb fool. The scenes kind of wrote themselves. I’d also had the idea to put puppets in the show, each of which were little versions of ourselves. It had come from an impression I did of Kenny Baker, which Rob found hilarious. I would sit in character as Kenny Baker (not his actual character, just a warped and unfounded perception of him), and Rob would ask me questions about my life that I would answer by always asserting how much I loved ladies and beer. We basically transposed this personality onto three sponge headed puppets that came out at night, fighting and singing amongst themselves (“We love ladies, we love beer, we’re only happy when they are near”).

I know a lot of this sounds rubbish…

The one concession we made in that show to being out of character, was an Oasis medley that we’d written for one of the club nights. We’d rewritten Oasis lyrics, for a six minute song that phased between Oasis and Beatles chords, that always raised the roof. Many have done the same concept since, but we did it first. You hear that? FIRST I SAY. It proved a great calling card finale for the show, as you’ll see when I tell you about the actual Edinburgh run.

So we had a show. We didn’t have posters or accommodation though. The show was being produced by Karen, and she’d sorted all the fringe brochure entry fees etc, but it was up to us to design and pay for the posters. Which led to a fundraising gig at a pub in Lewisham, where we would do most of our show with some guest comics.

We had Howard Read and Lee Mack on the bill, and – I think – Natalie Haynes. Lee spent his entire set whining about how he was helping fund a show at the fringe, when he himself was also doing a show at the fringe, and he continues to whine about it twenty years later from the gold palace he probably lives in. We covered our budget with ease that night, and the landlord of the pub was bizarrely supportive. He even left the keys with us at the end of the night and told us we could have what we wanted from the bar. As you know, I’m not much of a drinker, but the relief of raising our funds, coupled with the relief of doing most of the show through, led to me being the drunkest I have ever been in my entire life. Where it not for the fact that an ex of mine had come to support the show, and got me back to her place (nothing like that, would not have been physically possible), I suspect I would have died behind that bar. There were about seven or eight of us hammering every optic. We found out a week later that the landlord had gone back to the pub the next day, emptied the safe and absconded. This was obviously his plan all along, but I like to think he found that bar decimated the next day and felt he had no choice but to run away. Luckily, we’d taken cash on the door and it was safely banked.

We ordered the posters, booked our accommodation in Leith (because Rob was sure this was near the centre of Edinburgh), and we were all good to go. We did a solitary full preview of the show at the Coach And Horses in Soho, with Lee Mack doing his sketch show with Dan Antopolski and Catherine Tate on the same bill, and smashed it. Over the years of doing the fringe, I regularly looked back to this first attempt. As I got given preview after preview to supposedly hone a show just right, nothing was as fun – or possibly as productive – as doing a solitary preview and getting on the train to the fringe. I would never approach a fringe again in the same way as we approached Edinburgh 1999.

Which is mental, because goodness it worked…

That’s a story for part three though.

Hope you’re having a lovely day, whatever you’re up to.

Much love

xxxxxxx


The Full Story Of Big And Daft - Part 1
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Hello there

It’s our first Retro Week Tuesday, which is of course the day before Retro Week is interrupted for the Star Wars – What The Movies Didn’t See Podcast tomorrow. Although, it could be argued that the podcast is also retro as it involves historical events from the original Star Wars trilogy that categorically didn’t (and in most cases, couldn’t have) happened.

Before we get underway with the mammoth task of cataloguing part one of the history of Big And Daft, a quick little update on how the production week on the movie is panning out.

As suspected, my feeling that all was running smoothly turned out to be a false dawn. I spent Monday calling around various production equipment companies to locate some missing bits of kit, including a 100 metre BNC cable, some extension cables, and a Swift Flexible LED panel, whatever that is. The first two items are now safely hired and insured, and the latter item is still missing in action after a series of miscommunications and misunderstandings. So keep your fingers crossed for that being sorted if you would (even though it will be too late by the time this lands with you).

So, Big And Daft. Shall we?

I actually really want to write this. For a while there, Big And Daft was tipped for greatness, and threatened to be an underground success that actually pushed through. We had a decent fan base, industry support and all of that business, but you'd struggle to find anything online about it. All but forgotten, never mentioned, and I'm best placed to catalogue what happened. I also realised when I was thinking about what to include in this post, that I have a terrible recollection of dates. I can tell you when the fringe shows where, because they were more significant as they were happening, but this post will probably only take us up to just before the first fringe show. Our first fringe show was 1999, but anything leading up to that is guess work. I've not looked at the pictures yet, so there's a chance the dates are on them (edit: they are). I’m just putting this on the record in case these writings are used posthumously to write the story of my life. To be honest, it’ll probably all be on here in my own hand, it’ll just need putting in order, so there’s no need for some ghost writer coming in and taking money away from my surviving children who don’t exist.

We start, at a guess, around 1995. I’d dragged myself down to that London, to seek fame and fortune treading the boards as an actor, whilst also working as a writer for a guy called Alan Gibbons who’d been in a play I wrote called Toilet Humour! (and it’s sequel – The Second Flushing) whilst we were at Drama School together, all under the banner of a company called B.A.D (Big And Daft).

(I've always treasured that first poster, as it was done by my departed friend Molly and stuck on a noticeboard at college when it looked like I was running out of time to do it myself)

I’d thought that the character Alan played in those shows, "Allan Aspel", was a prime creation to do stand up with, and had offered to do the business side of that if he did the gigs. He started doing open spots at comedy clubs using my character and material, and I put together fanciful plots of comedic domination for us as a team. Despite how I would have described my comedy career at that time, the reality was it was little more than a hobby with sights set on the future. I was continuing to do acting auditions for fringe theatre, and mostly getting offered the parts, which led to the first of many significant career direction decisions.

I committed to be in a double bill of Chekhov plays, at the Baron’s Court Theatre. When I actually think of the logistics of what this involved, I’m astounded that it was ever the lifestyle I lived. There were two months of rehearsal, followed by a month of performances. I was living in Finchley in North London at the time, and commuting – on my own dollar – to Lewisham where the rehearsal space was every single day. That’s tube followed by overground, during rush hour, to go to an unpaid fringe job. The mood for me to not want to be an actor any more was well in place, once I’d gotten over the excitement that the rehearsal room was the same room where Vic Reeves Big Night Out had started. The two plays were The Bear and The Proposal, and none of us in the cast went on to realise our dreams of stardom. I can’t even remember their names, and I doubt that they can remember mine. One of them was a very old man then, and this was about 25 years ago, so…well, you know. I remember really liking him, so that’s a lovely tribute.

There I am acting my little socks off against a lady who was perfectly lovely but had the thickest Danish accent you could imagine. I took my cues from inflection rather than actual words.

What did start to happen, towards the end of that run, was a creeping frustration with performing the same words and actions every single night. It might surprise you, if you ever saw my scenery chewing in the Peacock & Gamble shows, that I’m irritatingly disciplined with stage acting. I’d hit all my marks, nail the choreography of my performance, warm-up my voice, all of those things, as I had that feeling of obligation in serving somebody else’s text. Sounds all very drama school, but I absolutely subscribed to it. In many ways, it was always on the cards that I would end up doing stand up, and shows like, firstly Big And Daft, and certainly Peacock & Gamble, where I could rewrite my own writing as and when I felt like it during performances, because it was mine to change if I so wished. I think almost all of my subsequent creative performance work has been an ongoing reaction to that stifling run of Chekhov plays. I can vividly recall sitting in front of a dressing room mirror before the rest of the cast arrived, bored and shattered, having a rethink. If I wanted to continue ploughing my trade in the performing arts, but didn’t want to go through the exact same motions night after night, I had no alternate plan of action except comedy.

Not long after I finished that run, finances dictated that I should get a proper job whilst I continued the comedy hobby. I was still writing for Alan, but he was the sort that wanted everything right now. I think he perhaps thought we would do a handful of open spots and be filming a TV pilot by the end of the year, and I perhaps secretly thought that too, but the realities of the comedy circuit were very quick to reveal themselves. You were lucky if you performed to any audience, let alone an audience of commissioning editors. I started working behind the bar at the Tally Ho pub in North Finchley, which was then a Wetherspoons. When I see the owner of Wetherspoons, Tim Martin popping up on the news or Question Time or whatever, spouting his boisterous views, I always just see the same bloke coming into that pub and begging me to train as a pub manager. I should have known then that his judgement was suspect.

There was an actual clandestine career plan going on whilst I was working at that pub. Over a period of about a year, I’d got to know some of the bar staff of a rival pub, The Torrington Arms, as there was a constant interchanging of staff of both pubs. As a result I’d got to know the landlord of the Torrington, a frustrated showbiz dreamer called Tim something-or-other, who was far more interested in what he could put on in the function room than what beers were coming through the taps. It wasn’t long before he’d asked me to put on a one-off comedy night, I think maybe for Comic Relief. I’d written a few new characters for Alan, a double-entendre laden schoolboy and a filthy old agony aunt, to go alongside Allan Aspel (who was a toilet attendant, I forgot to mention that). So kind of clever comedy, I’m sure I don’t need to say. I could blag-compere the evening, and bring on Alan in his different guises, keeping all the overheads rock bottom. I was able to secretly and easily sell the tickets whilst working at the Tally Ho, because all the regulars had been hooked into my claims of being a comedian.

The success of that one-off show inspired Tim to entrust me with a monthly comedy night there, and we were up and running.

As memory serves, I think the first regular gig marked the last time Alan and I worked together (or indeed saw each other). He was a sensitive performer really, and far more actorly than comediany, and we went our separate ways as I couldn’t provide him with fame and fortune in twenty gigs. I’d also started to think I would like to put a five piece comedy team together, including Alan, with Jon Williams who had also been at drama school with us and had played the main supporting role in Toilet Humour!. Jon was a boyish and charming lad from Westhoughton in Wigan, and he’d started helping me out a bit with writing. One of those people that you comedically spark off and the ideas flow thick and fast. Very similar, in truth, to how Ed and I would create ideas together, but pre-dating it by at least ten years. It transpired that Alan had no interest in being in a team, and wished to continue as a solo performer, so that was agreed. I don’t think he actually did another gig, but the last I heard he was still doing fringe theatre stuff. He was one of the most talented and natural comedy performers I’ve ever met like.

(Alan Gibbons in character as Allan Aspel, in a classy, completely consistent, publicity shot)

I compered that first proper show, purely winging it on audience interaction with no material, and Jon would occasionally pop onto the stage playing little character parts. Another act on the bill that night was a comic called Cyril, who I’d actually seen when Alan did a gig at a pub in Hammersmith, and thought he was great. He was stupid and had a guitar doing comedy songs, whirling around the stage in a ball of energy. He was also tremendously gregarious and chatty, and he’d stood with Jon and I when the other acts were on, all three of us making inappropriate jokes and mucking about. When I eventually introduced him he went onto the stage and blew the roof off. Jon and I stood at the back of the room by the lighting box and I said I thought he would be a good person to have in this “comedy team”. Jon absolutely agreed.

The next day I called Cyril and told him what the idea was. I asked if he’d be interested. He didn’t pause for thought, or say he would possibly be interested, he straight away said he was in. He also said that he was dropping the stage name of Cyril and going back to his real name which was Rob. I remain baffled, to this day, why he thought Rob Rouse wasn’t a good name for a comedian. It’s a belting name for a comedian.

I had four more dates booked in with the Torrington to programme their comedy nights, and they were all booked up with comedians (at that time you just put your phone number in Time Out magazine and – hey presto – you had your bills booked a couple of hours after the magazine hit the shelves). A plan was quickly put in place that the three of us would compere the show as a team, doing sketches and characters between the acts. Rob was never called Cyril from that first night onwards, and nobody mentioned the five piece team again.

And that’s where we shall leave it for today. I thought this first one would end with us at the fringe, but no such luck. It’s getting a bit long now. This story seems to have more details to it than I had initially recalled.

Have a fantastic Tuesday please. Podcast for you tomorrow, filming for me and then I’ll pick up the story (with possibly a Cabin Fever with a filming update in between if I’m not too knackered).

All the love

xxxxxxxxx

Comments (9)
user avatar
User #10779382 - 19 Mar 19 14:30
I love everything about this post. Brilliant X
user avatar
ianboldsworth - 27 Mar 19 01:36
Suck up x
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User #8568347 - 19 Mar 19 14:59
Really enjoying this x
user avatar
ianboldsworth - 27 Mar 19 01:36
Thanks mate x
user avatar
User #8569933 - 20 Mar 19 10:41
I remember the Torrington, great little venue. I saw a couple of music gigs there, never comedy though which is a shame. If I was a little bit older I’d probably have gone and seen you as I’m only up the road in Barnet.
user avatar
ianboldsworth - 27 Mar 19 01:39
I had a meeting at The Bull in Barnet about doing a regular night but they wanted a deposit so it never happened
user avatar
ianboldsworth - 27 Mar 19 01:39
When we moved from Finchely we actually moved to Barnet - Clifford Road we were on. I lived in the attic. It was massive.
user avatar
User #12341876 - 20 Mar 19 09:34
I grew up in the Finchley area until the stupidly high cost of living in London made us move 4 years ago. The Tally Ho was still a Weatherspoons then, and the pub you went to if you really didn't have anywhere else to go. The Torrington closed a bit before we left and became a Starbucks if i recall correctly. The biggest crime, however, is that I apparently considered studying for my GCSEs far too important to realise any of this stuff was happening on my doorstep! (My last residence was a flat on Torrington Lane, just across the high street from Lodge Lane)
user avatar
ianboldsworth - 27 Mar 19 01:38
Yep, front of the Torrington became a Starbucks, and the back room where we did the comedy was an Indian Restaurant, and then - I think - a solicitors. Tally Ho is no longer a Wetherspoons and they've made the beer garden far more desirable. Haven't been into the actual pub though. We were on Nether Street. 45a to precise. My room was the one at the front and I was once sick on the path up to the door.
SW - WTMDS Podcast 2
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2019-03-20T11:31:00+00:00
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SW - WTMDS Podcast 2 2019-03-20T11:31:00+00:00close

Hello there

We interrupt "Retro Week" with greetings from the past. I am currently in the middle of filming by the time you read/hear this, so spare a thought for the horrors I'm going through as you curl up on the sofa or whatever you do to have a listen of the latest instalment of the patreon-exclusive Star Wars - What The Movies Didn't See Podcast.

Fingers crossed I'll be back safely to upload tomorrow's patreon post, but if I didn't make it through filming then...you know...thanks and all that.

Hope your Wednesday brings you joy in spades

Much love

xxxxxxxxxxx

Comments (9)
user avatar
User #205697 - 6 Feb 20 14:28
A Sith Master using force from his hand to control a troop carrier taking off? Is Kim really JJ Abrams in disguise? WE MUST KNOW!
user avatar
User #205697 - 20 Mar 19 15:18
Who knew R2D2 had a wet and messy fetish?
user avatar
ianboldsworth - 27 Mar 19 01:34
Kim did apparently
user avatar
User #7469644 - 20 Mar 19 11:55
I laughed so much whilst listening to this - "Like a bin tipping up on a cream cake" . Can I request this becomes regular section/spin off podcast?
user avatar
ianboldsworth - 27 Mar 19 01:34
And now everyone can blame you that it is
user avatar
User #8569691 - 22 Mar 19 10:04
Brilliant stuff again, really enjoying these. I have to say I'd love to hear a Jar Jar impression...
user avatar
ianboldsworth - 27 Mar 19 01:35
I don't know if she's seen the prequels - sticking to OT for the time being. The impressions peak in Episode III...
user avatar
User #2391631 - 20 Mar 19 17:15
Making me look like a lunatic on the bus. The life of Brian search of the bakery has me in tears still
user avatar
ianboldsworth - 27 Mar 19 01:35
I noticed when editing Episode 3 that there is always an element of hiding in these stories
Weathering Heights and ASK IAN
Weathering Heights and ASK IANmore_vert
2019-02-21T10:00:59+00:00
Post file flag
Weathering Heights and ASK IAN 2019-02-21T10:00:59+00:00close

Hello there friends

Here's a short video for you that I made t'other evening. I filmed for an hour and the two files were 13GB each so I've a feeling I did it in 4K by accident. That's gonna be a job for Editor Simon to explain to me when he's finished the latest round of cuts. We've been working on the opening four minutes of The ParaPod Movie again this week, and goodness me... quite something. Very pleased with it. But that's for another time...

As well as the video (it's me fixing C-3PO all filthy), today is the official launch of the February ASK IAN (because February has nearly finished), so you're gonna wanna launch your questions at me in the comments section below. Anything you want to know about, here's your chance (assuming I know too...don't be asking me Capital Cities or anything).

Off to spend a day working with Mr Philip Fletcher now, so I'll surely return with something just for you.

Have a lovely day please

Much love

xxxxxxxxxxx


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Comments (34)
user avatar
User #8568347 - 21 Feb 19 10:37
How are you finding the time slot changes at FUBAR?
user avatar
User #9120428 - 22 Feb 19 08:39
Q: I believe you like lighthouses. Would you live in one or would you miss your woods?
user avatar
User #11853813 - 22 Feb 19 10:36
Awesome weathering. Thought you were gonna down that shot of paint water.
user avatar
User #830951 - 21 Feb 19 15:42
Also, without naming names (I mean, you can if you want...), what's the biggest pisstake you've seen on Patreon (or crowdfunding in general, for that matter)? What criteria (if any) do you think there should be before someone can have a Patreon page?
user avatar
User #8670300 - 21 Feb 19 10:38
Hey man. To what extent do you think your years of editing podcasts has helped you develop the skills needed for editing the film? Is it a similar process (on a much bigger scale) or are the mediums too different for there to be any overlap?
user avatar
User #830951 - 21 Feb 19 15:50
I don't know how much this answers your question: https://www.patreon.com/posts/raw-part-1-2-24561031 (He'll shout at you if it does... I learned the hard way last month ;) )
user avatar
User #8670300 - 21 Feb 19 18:05
Cheers, answers the second part to an extent but I’ll take the inevitable beating like a man.
user avatar
User #830951 - 21 Feb 19 18:32
Same - I was just glad of the attention...
user avatar
User #385683 - 21 Feb 19 21:12
A while back on Twitter we were discussing the Blitzway Ghostbusters and you mentioned you would never buy from Sideshow Collectables again. I remember you had an issue with the rather flimsy Jawa twin pack they did; was that what put you off of them or was there something else? I have 'tried' to deal with Sideshow Collectables Customer Service before and frankly I could have spoken to a brick wall and gotten further. Thank you for everything you do.
user avatar
User #10356919 - 21 Feb 19 20:47
This could be a really dodgy thing to ask, but do you ever just want to contact Ed or Raji and see if you could try and make peace/ try and be friends again? Salvage what was there?
user avatar
User #7469644 - 21 Feb 19 10:03
Can I ask the first question please?
user avatar
User #830951 - 21 Feb 19 15:46
One last one: What other archive things have you got on your hard drive/lying around that you've thought "I might put that on Patreon at some point?" that you can tease us with?
user avatar
User #12686825 - 21 Feb 19 15:56
Does anyone else whenever they see the new release on Netflix called "Dirty John" instantly think "Naughty Keith"?
user avatar
User #830951 - 21 Feb 19 16:08
No...
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User #12686825 - 21 Feb 19 16:13
What? No one? Surprising. Thanks for asking them all though.
user avatar
User #830951 - 21 Feb 19 16:56
I was pretty obviously answering for myself there :P But I'd put money on you being alone on this (if it wasn't the internet and people were contrary enough to say yes to make a man with a tiny name poorer).
user avatar
User #830951 - 21 Feb 19 18:42
Ah he's going to accuse me of being argumentative again isn't he?
user avatar
User #12686825 - 21 Feb 19 18:43
No he’s not.
user avatar
User #12686825 - 21 Feb 19 18:46
Ps can’t work out how to send dms to say no offence taken at any point. I was being silly on purpose.
user avatar
User #830951 - 21 Feb 19 18:48
Ohhhh... Okay, quick heads-up, you're going to get a parcel through the post in a couple of days time; maybe don't open it.
user avatar
User #12686825 - 21 Feb 19 18:50
Well that’s a pain as I’m expecting a turd delivery on Saturday.
user avatar
User #830951 - 21 Feb 19 19:26
Are you as turned on by this as I am?
user avatar
User #4166211 - 21 Feb 19 14:59
Ok, Ask Ian, something you'll definitely know - there's long been a debate centred around the tracking shot in Kapo. What are your thoughts on the attempts to forge a cinematic moral compass around that particular shot and do you agree with Rivette that the shot and the director deserve profound contempt? Or if you're just sick of answering that question, what are your favourite individual scenes in films?
user avatar
User #4166211 - 22 Feb 19 13:54
Btw, if that seems I'm just being a smartarse it's because I've had that conversation twice this week and I wanted someone else to know how it feels.
user avatar
User #8568347 - 21 Feb 19 19:02
Ask Ian something he definitely knows - where do you buy your hats? Ga always needs a good hat.
user avatar
User #830951 - 21 Feb 19 15:39
Hypothetical situation: You're a predatory paedophile (Go with it, nobody likes a blocker), you've turned up at this overly flirtatious "teenager's" house, out comes Chris Hansen from Dateline NBC. He's got you absolutely bang to rights. The police are waiting outside. What do you do?
user avatar
User #8569933 - 21 Feb 19 10:12
You said recently that Ian is your middle name. What’s your actual name? Also your first pet and and mothers maiden name....
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User #15993344 - 22 Feb 19 00:57
Hi Ian, here’s a question I had- you’ve talked in the past about how during the Ray Peacock Podcast you pretended to go further with the bullying of Raji than you actually did (not actually smashing up his house/eating his child’s Easter egg), in your view, do you suspect The Ricky Gervais Podcast was equally as constructed in its treatment of Karl Pilkington?
user avatar
User #12686825 - 22 Feb 19 13:40
Definitely. Karl's real, but also incredibly aware, having been a radio producer since leaving school. Also, the dead giveaway was when The Guardian podcasts which launched Ricky in to the podcasting world contained exactly the same material and stories, with Ricky and Stephen been equally startled by Karl's revelations despite the fact they'd heard all of them before over the previous two years on XFM. It was only really when Karl's diary cropped up we actually started to get some new material.
user avatar
User #12686825 - 21 Feb 19 15:58
That's not my question for Ask Ian by the way. That is "What's the worst gift you've ever been given by someone you really cared for?"
user avatar
User #774719 - 21 Feb 19 13:17
With Patreon's founder saying it's business is unsustainable, the political-based banning of some top Patreon users and the bumps in payment that Patreon has had, do you have a backup plan in case Patreon goes down? For actual Parapod questions, in the film, is there anything "paranormal" that happens that you genuinely cannot explain?
user avatar
User #8577069 - 21 Feb 19 19:47
Is the Bermuda Triangle a real thing. Only Barry told me it was, so defo true. Cheers Dods, my hat is tipped sir🎩🤫.
user avatar
User #8569499 - 21 Feb 19 14:21
I particularly enjoyed the use of “there’s an interesting debate going on” as though that debate was going on with other humans involved. Also enjoyed the Herring comment. I wish I had your patience with craft stuff like this. I’ve been building a guitar very occasionally for about 3 years now, and I just don’t have it. We’re tou tempted, while filming this, to shout “my god! It’s a doll! I’m painting a doll! I am a grown up man and I am doing paint bukkake on a doll!” Then hurl it at the wall? Just asking. The burnt umbrella colour ( nice autocorrect there) gives a good old oil effect. Nice.
user avatar
User #7469644 - 21 Feb 19 10:25
Wow just watched the video and really enjoyed it - C3PO looked proper beaten up by the end.
Extended ParaPod Live
Extended ParaPod Live more_vert
2019-02-01T09:00:03+00:00
Post file flag
Extended ParaPod Live 2019-02-01T09:00:03+00:00close

Hey there

First of the month, we made it (most of us).

Here's a special thank you treat for you, for your continued support of my ongoing nonsense. This is a major deleted scene from the movie (as mentioned before, it was never going to be in the movie, was just a bit of camera practice).

Hope you enjoy it, and genuinely thank you for the support on here, it makes an enormous difference and I hope you feel rewarded and smug that you're contributing to nice things.

Have a lovely day please

Much love

xxxxxxxxx


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Comments (32)
user avatar
User #2835051 - 1 Feb 19 11:56
Brilliant :-) Thanks for sharing
user avatar
ianboldsworth - 5 Feb 19 21:07
Pleasure
user avatar
User #8577273 - 12 Mar 19 00:12
Brilliant. Just brilliant
user avatar
User #8580037 - 1 Feb 19 13:24
Happy Days
user avatar
ianboldsworth - 5 Feb 19 21:08
Wasn't for me
user avatar
User #476150 - 3 Feb 19 19:08
I feel the need to apologize for my big ugly head blocking Ian out in most of the shots. This was awesome to attend, seeing them on the QED roster is what prompted me to look up the Parapod and ultimately binge it the week before QED.
user avatar
ianboldsworth - 5 Feb 19 21:11
It was my very best bit every time it popped up
user avatar
User #8569933 - 1 Feb 19 19:23
I was waiting for you to say ‘this is my friend Matt, it’s all bollocks’ and then Barry crying.
user avatar
ianboldsworth - 5 Feb 19 21:09
haha - I didn't know Matt before and I haven't known him since. I liked him though.
user avatar
User #12686825 - 1 Feb 19 10:29
Woah! 20 whole minutes. Saving for home viewing. Thanks Mr B.
user avatar
ianboldsworth - 5 Feb 19 21:07
yeah don't wank on the bus
user avatar
User #12686825 - 1 Feb 19 17:49
I loved that. I know it’s only a loose edit and “practice” but it already has a great sense of flow and a lovely blend of laughs and argument. It’s making me more excited for the film if this is an off cut. Thanks for all the stuff.
user avatar
ianboldsworth - 5 Feb 19 21:08
Oh this is a proper off cut - none of it is like this really
user avatar
User #12686825 - 5 Feb 19 21:17
Shit. I’ll probably hate it then. What a way to find out, mid bus wank.
user avatar
User #15993344 - 3 Feb 19 10:02
That was great, it adds so much being able to see Barry’s eyes go mad when he hears something spooky
user avatar
ianboldsworth - 5 Feb 19 21:10
Yeah he's crackers
user avatar
User #460948 - 1 Feb 19 15:38
Thanks so much for this! Also cheers for recommending What We Do in the Shadows, the link to Flight of the Conchords totally put me off watching it before but it was excellent.
user avatar
ianboldsworth - 5 Feb 19 21:08
Exactly the same here - great innit?
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User #4166211 - 3 Feb 19 01:17
That was great. You two talking ghosts is always so entertaining.
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ianboldsworth - 5 Feb 19 21:10
Only to people outside
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User #408032 - 1 Feb 19 19:56
Ohhh, memories ...... I love it when Barry refers to QED as 'that skeptics festival'. Lots of lovely familiar faces in the audience. xx
user avatar
ianboldsworth - 5 Feb 19 21:09
Yeah he's stuck with 'festival' x
user avatar
User #13151520 - 4 Feb 19 11:42
Can not wait for the film if this is a deleted bit :D
user avatar
ianboldsworth - 5 Feb 19 21:12
There's more moving about in the rest of it. Only a bit though.
user avatar
User #15409688 - 1 Feb 19 23:45
I really enjoyed this, I'm rarely genuinely enthused about stuff as much as I am about the parapod movie. I'm gonna get on to my one friend with good taste to sign up for this patreon cos I'm sure he'll love it too.
user avatar
ianboldsworth - 5 Feb 19 21:10
MAKE ALL YOUR FRIENDS DO IT
user avatar
User #5558976 - 1 Feb 19 09:36
Thank you
user avatar
ianboldsworth - 5 Feb 19 21:07
Welcome
user avatar
User #6958018 - 6 Feb 19 00:24
Was there more filming at QED or was it just the panel?
user avatar
ianboldsworth - 12 Feb 19 18:54
WHO KNOWS?
user avatar
User #9439496 - 3 Feb 19 20:35
It definitely adds something when you get to see the look on Barry's face when he hits a wall. The podcast works well in visual form, you should make a movie.
user avatar
ianboldsworth - 5 Feb 19 21:11
Really shouldn't
Magic
Magicmore_vert
2018-11-21T11:29:49+00:00
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Magic 2018-11-21T11:29:49+00:00close

Morning

In a superhuman effort of all-night multitasking, I've found this video, filmed an intro, and edited it together, all whilst doing test prints and listings for the new stuff on the Etsy store (https://www.etsy.com/shop/infinitehermitart - no pressure).

Oh I forgot to mention in the intro on the video, that there's a bit where the camera just drops. That's because he just dropped his arm to his side in shock. He did the same thing in The ParaPod Movie about fifty times. It's funny to see from the other side.

I am now going to do the blurbs for the next lot of T-shirts (also no pressure) and actually have a minute of doing no work. Maybe an hour. Proper tuckered out little thing here, I am.

I hope your day is going brilliantly. Dreary weather knocking about so keep warm, unless you live somewhere where it's already warm, in which case chill out.

Big love to you

xxxxxxxxxxxx


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Comments (21)
user avatar
User #4166211 - 21 Nov 18 14:07
I don't think I've ever seen someone baffled by a spoon before.
user avatar
ianboldsworth - 23 Nov 18 00:42
oh I have
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User #8568944 - 21 Nov 18 11:40
Great stuff! Has anyone (successfully) explained the sausage roll thing to Dodds yet?
user avatar
ianboldsworth - 23 Nov 18 00:39
The world gave up
user avatar
User #3316890 - 21 Nov 18 11:39
You could win a million dollars with that trick :)
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ianboldsworth - 23 Nov 18 00:40
WHERE? I'M IN!
user avatar
User #4774874 - 21 Nov 18 11:34
HERMIT MAGIC 2K19
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ianboldsworth - 23 Nov 18 00:41
New t-shirt ...
user avatar
User #830951 - 21 Nov 18 12:07
SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME HOW HE DID IT. Erm, I mean, haha, what an idiot Barry is, eh?
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ianboldsworth - 23 Nov 18 00:37
I am impressive
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User #8567731 - 21 Nov 18 11:37
Superb! As someone with "magic powers" myself, I both appreciate and adore the request not to reveal the secret. I mean, this is wonderful. I love it. Perfect! :)
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ianboldsworth - 23 Nov 18 00:41
Thanks GB
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User #6939091 - 21 Nov 18 11:38
Barry flapping his hands at a spoon with intent while saying “move, you bastard” was exactly the laugh I needed today. Cheers Ian!
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ianboldsworth - 23 Nov 18 00:40
Ha...It's insanity.
user avatar
User #408032 - 21 Nov 18 18:10
James Hydrick ......
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ianboldsworth - 23 Nov 18 00:36
I'm not sure which bit of him you're referring to so don't know how upset to be...
user avatar
User #408032 - 23 Nov 18 00:55
His fabulous outfit, of course. 😏 x
user avatar
User #8568347 - 21 Nov 18 16:52
You are both just bloody wonderful, in your own very specific ways. This was fabulous.
user avatar
ianboldsworth - 23 Nov 18 00:36
Have to choose though
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User #2835051 - 21 Nov 18 11:56
I saw what you did there ;-)
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ianboldsworth - 23 Nov 18 00:37
Well...you may not have done...
Spoilers
Spoilers more_vert
2018-08-01T14:01:21+00:00
Post file flag
Spoilers 2018-08-01T14:01:21+00:00close

That picture above is how bad my present low mood has gotten. Might as well kick myself whilst I’m down.

Anyways - just a quick note to ask you refrain from ParaPod spoilers on other social media. Sure, the people who aren’t subscribed here are idiots, but their lives are clearly rubbish enough without us ruining the podcast for them.

There’s also a comments section here, so why run to other lesser places to comment?

Would appreciate your restraint for another week

Much love xxxxxx

Comments (22)
user avatar
User #551118 - 1 Aug 18 19:31
Great ep, so enjoyable to hear you again. I can't wait for the new podcast and the film. You mention in the ep how with redbubble and stuff you'll not earn much on the t-shirts. Great you are doing them and I love some of the designs and the choice makes redbubble a good choice. But at some point ave you considered at some point doing a t-shirt kickstarter? I know merch doesn't often make that much money or you have to have loads of stock and run the risk of not selling it. However a few much much smaller podcasts I listen to have run successful t-shirt Kickstarters, they have been reasonably priced and the podcasters have said actually made money from them and not had to worry about not selling them. It has limitations as you could offer as many designs and is more work but it might be worth keeping in mind for the future.
user avatar
ianboldsworth - 1 Aug 18 22:31
Noted, the T-shirts is more a PR thing though really, as well as offering everyone the chance to get decent quality shirts
user avatar
User #249737 - 1 Aug 18 14:04
If you want to watch a *good* movie, Castle of Cagliostro is on Netflix. If you're up for some late 70s anime. Not to Ewok-shame you or anything.
user avatar
ianboldsworth - 1 Aug 18 22:26
Definitely didn't want to watch anything good
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User #460948 - 1 Aug 18 22:35
I somehow missed the announcement so the midnight release was a proper brilliant surprise. I listened last night and loved it, have a long drive tomorrow so that will be absolutely perfect (I listened while under the influence of some of that stuff Barry carries about in bags which has effectively wiped my memory of it, so a treat for future, sober me). Really sorry to hear your mood is still staying low, I know it's not much help but I really hope things pick up. When I'm having a particularly bad anxiety week/month (the doctor calls them "episodes" which I guess does make sense) I remind myself that it goes away eventually even though I'm convinced that this is "the one" that will finally break my brain and it'll stay that way. I think it was on the Mental Podcast that I finally heard someone describe what they are like in the way I experience them, and that sort of effect where if you feel nauseous you can't imagine what not feeling that would be like. Quite a few times in the car I've just sat and created those kind of grounding memories, "OK I feel normal at the minute, just remember this time when I feel the impending doom start to creep in". Loved this weeks Fubar, my favourite memory will always be the Dre reminder service.
user avatar
ianboldsworth - 1 Aug 18 23:05
Thanks Nicky, that's much appreciated on all fronts. I really must do Dre again soon. Genuinely forgotten about it...!
user avatar
User #9004080 - 1 Aug 18 14:02
Agreed. I like being part of the club.
user avatar
ianboldsworth - 1 Aug 18 22:26
same
user avatar
User #4166211 - 1 Aug 18 14:26
Sorry, I know it wasn't a spoiler I posted, just a quote, but I deleted it immediately last night. Would never spoil it for people by posting details. And in fairness it did sound like Jimmy Nail advertising rum.
user avatar
ianboldsworth - 1 Aug 18 22:27
Not cross with anyone fear not
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User #9028619 - 1 Aug 18 14:14
Sorry Ian. It was just I was taken aback with how stubborn Barry is of the Spontaneous Human Combustion argument so I just had to tweet him.
user avatar
ianboldsworth - 1 Aug 18 22:27
Oh nobody was being told off
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User #4646677 - 1 Aug 18 17:17
'I can't believe that Barry is actually Ian's father' - my reaction for the non-parapod plebs
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ianboldsworth - 1 Aug 18 22:28
I'm sure they'll swallow that
user avatar
User #830951 - 1 Aug 18 14:39
I don't know if it was a spoiler of me to say that your actual name isn't Ian, since you threw it away in the middle of a conversation, but WHAT'S GOING ON WITH THAT
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ianboldsworth - 1 Aug 18 22:28
Just my middle name. It's still what I've been called all my real life. Still causes havoc in the bank when I try to pay a cheque in like
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User #8888346 - 1 Aug 18 18:39
I think we all accept that Ian. I'm going to listen to the podcast again tomorrow. Loved it. I just love hearing you guys interact. It's just so funny.
user avatar
ianboldsworth - 1 Aug 18 22:29
Cheers Neil!
user avatar
User #486098 - 1 Aug 18 15:03
I tweeted about barry not knowing a topic and saying it is science...is that spoiler? If so im sorry :/
user avatar
ianboldsworth - 1 Aug 18 22:28
Oh don't worry - nobody's angry about it
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User #7926444 - 1 Aug 18 17:37
Don't worry, mate, I'm so far behind that by the time I get round to the movie stuff you'll have been fired from Parapod 3 for old tweets or summat :-)
user avatar
ianboldsworth - 1 Aug 18 22:29
I'll never be fired again mate
The ParaPod Special 2018 (Extended Cut)
The ParaPod Special 2018 (Extended Cut)more_vert
2018-07-31T23:01:59+00:00
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The ParaPod Special 2018 (Extended Cut) 2018-07-31T23:01:59+00:00close

It can't possibly live up to your expectations.

As long as you know that going in.

Love you

xxxxxxx

Comments (50)
user avatar
User #249737 - 31 Jul 18 23:29
Holy shit, it's like christmas!
user avatar
ianboldsworth - 1 Aug 18 22:34
yep. miserable.
user avatar
User #8977362 - 1 Aug 18 00:48
So good to hear you both again.
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ianboldsworth - 1 Aug 18 22:36
Yeah but who is best
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User #8960051 - 1 Aug 18 01:24
Fabulous as ever chaps - can I recommend a dog training clicker for Ian to use whenever Barry skips over those blue wiki links? That said, is an informed Barry a true Barry?
user avatar
ianboldsworth - 1 Aug 18 22:38
Now you're getting it...
user avatar
User #4788856 - 31 Jul 18 23:14
This is like being allowed to stay up for new year for the first time except I'm allowing myself this time and this is better than any new year anyway and mercifully with less advocat. So happy ???
user avatar
User #11440698 - 31 Jul 18 23:19
Hopefully this festive season won't involve any dead hamsters floating in fish bowls either. But who knows.
user avatar
ianboldsworth - 1 Aug 18 22:33
I'd still strongly advise advocat...
user avatar
User #5558976 - 31 Jul 18 23:02
Thank you ?
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ianboldsworth - 1 Aug 18 22:31
No worries (except the worries of the editing)
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User #355182 - 1 Aug 18 00:46
Thank you! Fantastic to have you two on while I was doing some late night work again! John Beck if you read this, please can we have a t-shirt with Barry as a puffa fish?
user avatar
ianboldsworth - 1 Aug 18 22:36
I love that John Beck has become everyone's bitch
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User #355182 - 1 Aug 18 22:37
Ha ha! I've just heard he's very amenable.
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User #6349566 - 31 Jul 18 23:05
fucking cracking. Off work tomorrow so definitely not gonna regret staying up til half one for this. Cheers both!
user avatar
ianboldsworth - 1 Aug 18 22:32
Bet you did though
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User #9436806 - 31 Jul 18 23:13
Cheers, looking forward to this.
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ianboldsworth - 1 Aug 18 22:33
and now...?
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User #9436806 - 1 Aug 18 23:11
I’m no longer looking forward to it. Was ace...
user avatar
User #460948 - 31 Jul 18 23:12
Oh man, actual.
user avatar
ianboldsworth - 1 Aug 18 22:32
That's a cool phrase
user avatar
User #4911021 - 31 Jul 18 23:02
Woo! ❤️
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ianboldsworth - 1 Aug 18 22:31
Worst ghost impression ever
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User #4774874 - 1 Aug 18 04:13
Ian, if you seriously thought this wouldn't live up to expectations, you're off your fuckin' box. The episode was so fun, so funny, and so special. You and Barry killed it. You're an amazing artist. xx
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ianboldsworth - 1 Aug 18 22:38
I'll accept "off my box"
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User #8567731 - 1 Aug 18 00:25
This is superb. Talk about on form! I haven't laughed this much in months, man.
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ianboldsworth - 1 Aug 18 22:35
Well that's a good thing right?
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User #8567731 - 1 Aug 18 22:38
The best thing.
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User #6411456 - 31 Jul 18 23:58
Soooo glad to be in Chicago so this is still evening. Can’t wait!! Xx
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ianboldsworth - 1 Aug 18 22:34
This was made for Chicago
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User #6411456 - 1 Aug 18 22:35
And it showed! It lived up to the hype, by the way. The two of you are magic.
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User #9543415 - 31 Jul 18 23:59
Heard about the featured haunting on this one on a top15s video earlier today which I was watching earlier today to scare myself. It didn't bloody work because I can't help making the exact kimds of arguments that you do against Barry because the narrator makes the exact same kind of arguments. He'll give a perfectly reasonable explanation for something and then go on to say "but it was probably ghosts" or "they look genuinely upset so it can't possibly be a set up or faked". Basically this comment is too long, I'm unable to scare myself with bollocks youtube videos anymore and I am so happy that I've got this to listen to tonight! #teamDodds #noMoreHashtags
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User #9543415 - 1 Aug 18 00:16
Fucking hell commented too soon, had some spooky crap happen to me at Jamaica inn. My mum was sitting on a chair that was moving all about (might've just been a combo of her being unable to sit still and an uneven surface of the floor) also had a drink fly off the end of the table and disappear behind a curtain while we were sitting there (I have to admit that one is much harder to explain) therefore ghosts!!!
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ianboldsworth - 1 Aug 18 22:34
you lost me at hashtag team dodds
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User #4166211 - 1 Aug 18 01:19
Absolutely brilliant. Two things. 1. It's not that surprising someone left a doll in a house. Barry nearly left all his clothes when he moved. 2. Jamaica Inn gift shop. There's a really famous novel about the pub and it was made into a Hitchcock fillum so I'm guessing the gift shop is for related stuff. If the 50/50 comment was mine, I think I explained myself badly because I'm not that barmy.
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User #4166211 - 1 Aug 18 13:45
Time to explain myself now. I said a little while back I didn't think you won every episode in the first series. But I also don't think Barry won. I think you didn't win because you didn't convince me in some episodes because one of your key lines of reasoning I understood but I found flawed. Barry never really argued against it but I think he could have and I would have if I had been in his position. So because something major went unchallenged by Barry you in turn couldn't do enough to convince me of your side in those one or two episodes. Barry still wouldn't have won, but he'd have put up a better fight.
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ianboldsworth - 1 Aug 18 22:38
The win is generally judged by the competence of the argument, given goodness knows what is accurate on wikipedia
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User #4166211 - 1 Aug 18 23:29
I was basing it on who convinced it. Which I realise speaks fucking volumes about my ego. Either way the show was excellent and I was having a shit day and the release really cheered me up.
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User #8823868 - 31 Jul 18 23:02
So nice to hear that theme tune again
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ianboldsworth - 1 Aug 18 22:31
You watching The Fall Guy?
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User #408032 - 1 Aug 18 06:39
Just FYI, no movement from the twins as yet. A picture fell off my fish tank the other night. I admit that, after I was sure it wasn't a burglar, I did briefly think it might be them. I'm pretty sure it was the vibration from the filter though .... ? xx
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ianboldsworth - 1 Aug 18 22:39
We are not assessing gravity as ghosts. This applies to that Jamaica Inn thing too... x
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User #4166211 - 1 Aug 18 00:13
Can John Beck please please please design a t-shirt with Barry as Jareth from the Labyrinth, Bareth if you will, doing the power of voodoo speech.
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ianboldsworth - 1 Aug 18 22:35
There may be a slight rights issue there...
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User #4166211 - 1 Aug 18 23:31
It would be worth it to get Barry dressed as Bowie.
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User #5084452 - 1 Aug 18 01:04
Ian you sly dog, with all of your downplaying expectations, that was as good as ever!
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ianboldsworth - 1 Aug 18 22:37
Well...
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User #311454 - 31 Jul 18 23:10
Yay! I was about to go to bed. I guess I'll deprive myself of sleep a little while longer.
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ianboldsworth - 1 Aug 18 22:32
Sleep deprivation + ParaPod = law suit
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User #311454 - 1 Aug 18 22:37
Well worth the potential law suit.
Deleted Scene
Deleted Scenemore_vert
2018-08-02T08:01:04+00:00
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Deleted Scene 2018-08-02T08:01:04+00:00close

Hello there

I did warn you that this would be a ParaPod heavy week on patreon. Don't be shouting at me if you're sick of it. Imagine what my life is like having done this at the same time as the movie too. I might kill Barry. Not even his fault. I might though.

Anyway, here's a deleted scene for you. I'd have given you this when I was doing the editing but as you can hear it is spoiler heavy for the episode, and wouldn't have made sense out of context. This went mainly for time, but also because Dodds used full real names too. Losing it meant that the link into starting the ritual on the finished episode was a bit clunky, but you'll only realise that now that you've heard how it originally would have sounded. Sorry about that. For the record I personally think Stephen Fry is wonderful, and would have no issues being friends with him.

You'll hear that I've also left in a pause and pick up in this file, when the bloody tractor turned up again. I'm sure you get the idea by now, and if anything, I'm hoping you have a new found respect for how essential the edit is on these podcasts. I've been telling you for years how difficult a job it is, now I've proved it to you! I didn't even tell you that the website got hacked this week too, so that all needed sorting out. Will somebody please take me away from all this madness? Just for a day or something?

Hope you are very well and very happy, you deserve that.

Much love to you

xxxxxx


Comments (6)
user avatar
User #311454 - 2 Aug 18 08:35
I feel spoilt this week, will listen to this over lunch!
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User #2634644 - 2 Aug 18 09:33
Marksman, my arse...
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User #250670 - 2 Aug 18 11:01
In addition to Antony's point, HouseofNames.com also says the the Germanic root "dudd or dodd" can mean "it would have been used to denote a round, lumpish person, or a stupid person." Sorry Barry.
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User #10530480 - 2 Aug 18 09:06
As these stories continue to be unearthed I am beginning to think Barry never actually went to school but instead was cast in Ken Loach's adaptation of the novel Battle Royale. But due to budget restraints didn't send the kids to an island and the collars were worn around the ankle.
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User #355182 - 2 Aug 18 08:54
The more we hear about Barry's school, the more things make sense...
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User #2634644 - 2 Aug 18 09:32
From surnamedb.com: 'Dodds is avariant form of Dodson, itself a patronymic of the Middle English given name "Dodde, Dudde", from the Olde English pre 7th Century personal byname "Dodda, Dudda", ultimately from a Germanic root "dudd, dodd", "something rounded", used to denote a short, rotund man, or possibly a bald one, from "dod", to make bare, cut off. Apologies in advance to Barry Short Rotund Bald Man.
ParaPod Eve And MORE T-Shirts
ParaPod Eve And MORE T-Shirtsmore_vert
2018-07-31T20:27:33+00:00
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ParaPod Eve And MORE T-Shirts 2018-07-31T20:27:33+00:00close

Right, so, despite it being Fubar Tuesday (the day after I've done a stupidly long day in London on the radio), I've worked solidly through. I've even been to the spa and done weights in the home gym, which I had to walk slightly further to as there's a dead bird outside my back door and I don't know what to do about it. Usually can't get rid of local cats in the garden, but today they seem to be steering clear when I actually want them to be here.

Mostly today has been spent editing the podcast though, and here's the news for you extra good people. I'm gonna be scheduling posts for a couple of days now, and this is the first one. The next scheduled post will be for one minute past midnight tonight, which will be The ParaPod Special. I can't say it's being launched with confidence, as it has a slightly different feel to it I think (can't put my finger on why), but it is myself and Barry talking about ghosts. Which should be, and is, the minimum requirement.

For you, patreon supporters and the apples of my eye, it's an extended cut. I'm still going to try and lose twenty minutes from this, for the actual release, but after solid editing (and you heard how that is), this is where I've arrived at. Not decided what's gonna go yet, but it hasn't gone from your early access release. It's an hour and twenty minutes. So don't feel you have to stay up, because that would essentially be you committing to movie time at bed time.

As if that wasn't enough, and goodness knows it is, this will be followed the next day by a deleted scene which really made me laugh but had strayed too far from the premise. So you can have that too.

Till then, let's have a look at some more of John Beck's T-Shirt designs. This STILL isn't all of them. This may be heading into a T-Shirt empire. I'll go do the other posts whilst you peruse.












Please note, the shirts will be available in a range of colours, we just put them on black in the mock up as it's the easiest. Don't panic we aren't insisting you change your clothes to just black.

Also, somebody asked if we could make a shirt that didn't have The ParaPod logo on it, so I commanded John Beck to do that. Here you go:

You're welcome.

Hope you are safe, well and happy. And can somebody rub my back for heaven's sake.

Much love

xxxxxxx


Comments (54)
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User #4166211 - 31 Jul 18 21:30
The designs are amazing, especially like the definitions ones.
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 21:48
Yep - all John's work. I'd have never had thought of those.
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User #8568029 - 31 Jul 18 22:17
Thanks Darren!
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User #8577273 - 31 Jul 18 21:25
Can't wait! For a special, for the T-shirts, everything! Thank you for all of your hard work. Wish I could help with your sore back. Do some stretches & have a hot bath/shower. Hope you have a good sleep <3 xxx
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 21:47
Oh I did stretches but sadly it was just before I hammered the home gym. However I am now a beefcake so it's not all bad x
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User #10346047 - 31 Jul 18 21:15
Another batch of cracking designs! The Paranati one is fantastic, and I love the Lady Spades one too - Sir Beck sure got skills :)
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 21:46
I know, he keeps threatening me with them...
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User #8568029 - 31 Jul 18 21:56
“Threatening” indeed. I think you mean “wooing” babes x
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User #8568029 - 31 Jul 18 22:14
thanks Matt glad you like them so far; and Sir Beck, I like that. Ian could knight me with his light saber
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User #10346047 - 31 Jul 18 22:30
As you kneel before him
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ianboldsworth - 1 Aug 18 22:45
Have you both quite finished?
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User #6201327 - 31 Jul 18 21:57
I’m pretty sure social services looks down on this sort of thing. I’ll just rely on his bottle habit and need for another fix (milk, not booze) xxx
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User #8960051 - 31 Jul 18 20:37
Never have I been more grateful that you are eight hours ahead - I don’t have to stay up late to listen! Also - I now have 9 T-shirt’s on my must buy list so kindly let John Beck know he can have a rest now!
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 21:39
Never! He works till EVERYONE IS BANKRUPT!
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User #8568029 - 31 Jul 18 22:05
He shouts that into my cell twice a day Karryn
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User #4646677 - 31 Jul 18 21:56
At this rate I'm gonna have a dozen new t-shirts coming through the post when the store is open
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ianboldsworth - 1 Aug 18 22:45
Same here
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User #7161263 - 31 Jul 18 20:45
I want that Paranati one!
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 21:41
That specific one? It's just a design mock up. You can just print it out.
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User #8878350 - 31 Jul 18 20:55
I will be waking up with a sense of anticipation. And being picky over the designs again (I can't help it, it's literally my job) - I think the ghoorst pronunciation should be gɔːst.
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 21:43
Ha, it's definitely not your job. I'd know. I keep a very close eye on my staff (you have to when one is trying to bum you regularly)
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User #8568029 - 31 Jul 18 22:19
that Simon, I bloody knew it! x
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User #10881385 - 31 Jul 18 20:39
Think John's shafted you (no euphemism intended} on that shirt sans parapod logo. Seen em in Primark already, 3 for a fiver!
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 21:39
Haha - you lost me at shafted
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User #8568029 - 31 Jul 18 22:09
Jason assumes I'm the top Ian x
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User #9436806 - 31 Jul 18 21:24
Those Barry pronunciation t shirts are mint ?
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 21:47
I agree. I had literally nothing to do with those.
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User #8568029 - 31 Jul 18 22:16
thanks Jonathan!
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User #5278830 - 31 Jul 18 21:18
Excellent shirts - big merch table at Nottingham on 4/11?
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 21:46
Nah they're outsourced. They'll never be in our possession!
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User #9169939 - 31 Jul 18 20:37
Absolutely loving the t shirts, particularly the Paranati.
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 21:38
Shhhh - never say that word out loud
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User #8568029 - 31 Jul 18 22:20
thanks Chris!
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User #8568119 - 31 Jul 18 20:44
Thanks John Beck, you have made life much harder for all of us now, as want almost all of the T-shirts. Great work though ?
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 21:40
A lot of them won't see the light of day don't worry, we are spreading wide to find the gold. That said, I'm yet to see one that I think can be dropped...
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User #8568029 - 31 Jul 18 22:10
thanks Diane, I have a few more to come yet
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User #6201327 - 31 Jul 18 21:11
Farrrrrk I hope my baby wakes me up for this.
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 21:45
My advice is to get one of those electric things that people use to tone their muscles, and put one pad on the baby (do it subtle so the other half doesn't realise), and then when you want the baby to cry, all you have to do...wait, come back. This is a good idea... xxx
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User #355182 - 31 Jul 18 22:13
Yeah the definitions ones are amazing. I keep saying I need to replace all my tshirts. At this rate I'll be able to do it in one fell swoop. Bulk purchase discount? ?
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ianboldsworth - 1 Aug 18 22:46
That'll be a question for Red Bubble!
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User #10690066 - 31 Jul 18 21:09
Great thanks john/Ian the logoless design is exactly how I pictured it! can't wait until its available! ?
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 21:44
It pains me to say it, but it's been mostly John
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User #8568029 - 31 Jul 18 22:13
I spent the most time on this one Paul, I'm glad you like it
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User #8726157 - 31 Jul 18 23:07
Aaaaah this has perked me right up! A brand new (extended) parapod is a real treat, thank you. And the tshirts are all EXCELLENT!
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ianboldsworth - 1 Aug 18 22:46
Another gush for Beck
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User #8675482 - 31 Jul 18 21:39
These tshirts are amazingggg. Can they come in toddler sizes please? Bram wants them all x
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ianboldsworth - 1 Aug 18 22:45
Oh I'm not so sure if Red Bubble do that...x
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User #385518 - 31 Jul 18 20:35
Can't wait! I'm working overnight so I'm definitely going to have a listen tonight since my bedtime isn't until after 7am.
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 21:38
Mine either. Let's listen to it together.
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User #8699009 - 31 Jul 18 22:22
Ladyspades is a new favourite. I’d kill for a ‘Tea mat’ one though, since I honestly almost choked to death the first time I heard that. 40 minutes to go! What a time to be alive!
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ianboldsworth - 1 Aug 18 22:46
I mean, tea mat is going veeerrry niche
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User #11504094 - 31 Jul 18 20:51
On a train back from london and catching up on all of your recent posts! Also my bank is going to be empty if you release all of these shirts! Thanks for the updates Ian
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 21:42
I am riddled with guilt over this. Just get one and look after it.
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User #8568029 - 31 Jul 18 22:22
get two and keep one for best
Further Down The Editing Rabbit Hole
Further Down The Editing Rabbit Holemore_vert
2018-07-30T12:24:33+00:00
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Further Down The Editing Rabbit Hole 2018-07-30T12:24:33+00:00close

Hello there

On the stupid train to stupid London for my stupid radio show. I’m in a significant amount of pain which I’m trying to ignore as best as possible rather than surrender to the possibility that I may be having a flare up of that diverticular thing, and am instead attempting to drink enough water that it either helps the pain or drowns me. If it actually is a flare up, then either will be acceptable.

Anyway, you’re not here to hear about my potential health woes, you’re here to hear about editing again right? That’s what gets your juices flowing, amiright? Yeah, I’m equally sick of it, don’t worry

So, amongst other things, the editing and assessment day of the footage on Saturday, left me a little downhearted about the whole movie, which I hid very well in that podcast from the day I think. The morose hangover continued into Sunday, so I made the foolhardy decision to apply severe endurance to work through the day pretty much non-stop, which ended up inadvertently inspiring a little bit of clarification.

I caned through the podcast edit, and only have two sections left to edit now (from six). As you’ll probably have assumed, the “featured haunting”/main section is the killer in the edit. Everything else is an easier chop (usually, although he sometimes goes on a long and meandering diversion that simply can’t be ignored), but the fairy story is always the longest thing we record and has to take the most battle damage in the cutting room. I started with a 1hr 20 mins file yesterday, and after five hours of editing, it’s now 33 minutes (I’ve also chopped it into two sections, so I think the actual featured haunting is around 23 mins). With two sections left to edit, the podcast is presently 42 minutes complete, which would ordinarily be on target.

However, one of those remaining sections is a sort of “round up” thing, which is about an hour in its raw file, and the other is rituals, which is maybe half an hour. I can already feel you itching to type in the comments section that I could release the extra footage on here, and I would, of course, do that if anything came out wholesale, but the issue is (as you heard on the podcast of me editing), I pull in a lot of time with chopping pauses and “erms” and me saying everything twice in one sentence. I’ll give it a go though.

So, there are really difficult decisions to make when you have far too much stuff for the time slot. On an episode of The ParaPod I have to decide how much I follow the nonsense he brings and reads out, and how much time I afford to us just chatting, with the difficulty that the chat is not necessarily on point, yet it’s usually hilarious. Finding that balance is much more difficult than it sounds, and when you find yourself three quarters of the way through an episode edit, every bit of footage has to earn its inclusion whilst serving the whole. You bored yet?

This brings us on to the movie, because that’s the present problem with the first cut. It’s a cut for time, which hasn’t even got us into the ballpark of running time we’re after yet, but it doesn’t serve the footage well as it’s all about cramming the footage in to the running time. Does that make sense? Stuff has gone because it doesn’t carry the film “storyline” forward, but because it’s gone, the film suffers as those bits are potentially essential to engaging the audience into giving a toss about the people in it. There is no sense, at the moment, of myself and Barry and what we are about, which needs repairing fast, as the whole film needs to flow from that. There are ways of taking this into account when we shoot the last bits, but there’s also bits of footage already in existence that do this in situ.

This is the point where I feel the need to make it crystal clear that none of these issues are a failing on the part of Simon the editor! He’s doing as he’s told and just trying to get this film into a running time that doesn’t run the risk of the audience dying of old age before the end credits. He continues to do a sterling job, and that’s why I’ve dedicated the featured image of this post to him.

We’ve been assembling this cut with the same restrictions that I now face with only 17 minutes left to play with on the podcast. And, by the way, it’d be easier to say “Well just make it longer! There’s no rule to say that anything has to be a certain length”, which is absolutely true, but holds the same issue that just chucking everything in there and having a ninety-minute podcast or three-hour film, may not be serve the whole in the optimum way.

The headache is insane, and I’m having the added issue with the film of suddenly remembering another bit, and another bit. It might be time to admit that we have too much footage. Late last night/early this morning, I downloaded the Time Cut, plus some of the deleted scenes, and some other scenes that never even got in to be deleted. I could find justification for all of it to go in, in some form. This is all before we even have an ending in place. I can feel myself slipping into desperation again as I write this to you…

This exact same thing happened with my Here Comes Trouble stand up show. When I was putting it together that show, the week before the Fringe I was running at two hours and needed to get it down to one max. Everyone was saying how lucky I was, and that it’s better to have more, than not enough, but it really brings just the same stresses. You’re either tearing your hair out trying to decide which stuff is expendable, or tearing your hair out trying to fill it. Tearing your hair out either way. Of course, there was the safety net that I knew I had enough material for the post-fringe tour when it was a longer show with an interval, just the same as I know I have enough footage for a “mega-cut” blu-ray of the movie. Doesn’t help me now does it? I still need to make a “palatable cut”. The mega-cut is just a treat for future me…

So, I’ll tell you that I stayed up most of the night intensively ripping the footage apart. I’ve done the first hour (roughly) of the Time Cut, and think I’ve found maybe twenty minutes to chop from it, as well as maybe 15 minutes to put back in. I know I’ve got the radio today, but I got on a bit of a roll with it. No real harm in yawning on the radio is there? My head has never felt fuller. I’ve got scene after scene running around my head giddily, booting bits of podcast footage out of the way as it continues its frantic lap, only to be tripped a moment later by the podcast footage returning for attention.

This is why people get drunk, isn’t it?

Right, am off into the radio studio now (I didn’t tell you when I got off the train as this post was getting tangled enough, but am now sat outside in the courtyard bit of the Pleasance London. There’s worse places to be. Like the courtyard of the Pleasance Edinburgh…woooooaaaaahhhhh)

Hope your day is nice and if you want some company my radio show starts at 2. Dunno who’s on it. I am though.

Lots of love coming your way

xxxxxx

Comments (19)
user avatar
User #830951 - 30 Jul 18 12:27
My money's on a Dame Edna impersonator.
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 21:49
hahahahahaha I would walk. I actually would.
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User #4166211 - 30 Jul 18 14:07
I don't know if this will be much help but here goes. With most films the story is the main thing so anything that doesn't push the story forward goes. Stuff can be brilliant in isolation but if it slows the flow of the film then it should go because you're aiming for a well-paced film that flows, you know this is similar to editing the audio. But there are some films where the characters are more important than the story. A good example is Diner, don't know if you've ever seen it, early 80s American Barry Levinson film where he's content to just turn the camera on the actors and let the dialogue flow because he knows the audience are going to get lots out of these six guys riffing. A Parapod movie could go that path, I think a lot of people were expecting it to be like the podcasts, that's why there was confusion when some of us were saying the poster felt the wrong vibe a while ago, we were assuming it would be the podcast. So now you have to decide if the story is most important, if the friendship between you and Barry is the thing you want to shine through, or if it's a mix. Seriously best advice I can give is to try and listen to both your gut and your editor, sometimes you'll be right sometimes he will. If something's in your vision of how the film should be then fight for it, if it's just something you like and you're being told you don't need it then you probably don't. Also, if you're overlong screen a rough cut for someone you respect who will be honest with you.
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 21:53
Noted. But I refuse to speak to the editor.
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User #249737 - 30 Jul 18 15:14
It may seem painful to cut all of these things right now but when the functional narrative of the film starts falling into place you won't regret this ardurous task of killing your babies. I've heard it been said that you make a film several times; You first make it when you outline it. You make it again when you script it. You make it again when you film it. You make it again when you edit it. Etc. Right now what you're doing is searching for the soul of the film, and don't get discouraged! It's sort of like writing the first draft of a book and then having to do everything that comes after it. This is something that many people don't actually understand about filmmaking, they think you just shoot what's on the page. Of course I've never actually made a film, unless a three-four minute bad and unfunny mockumentary I did in college for this sort of thing counts.
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 21:53
hahaha "functional narrative".... You do know Barry is in this film right?
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User #8568640 - 30 Jul 18 16:27
Ian. I think you should remember that we all trust you, absolutely respect and love what you do and how you do it. At the end of day your projects are yours and we are the lucky ones that get to enjoy them on your terms... I reckon we’d all love it if you put everything out untouched but we have no right to demand it (and don’t think we would) and i don’t think it would be fulfilling for you if you did. Lots of love.
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User #8568347 - 30 Jul 18 21:18
Yes, this ♥️
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 21:54
Thanks William and Aimee... I'll keep on working on it! x
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User #11440698 - 30 Jul 18 12:33
I think with the many many millions of pounds this Patreon is probably hauling in, you should be able to use your clout to go full Peter Jackson and split it into three three-hour epics, with an option to up them to five hour Director's Cuts on the special edition blu ray. Much more characterisation footage of Dodds (I'm assuming) trapping his hand in car doors, mispronouncing various simple words etc. Also at the end you could chuck him into a volcano.
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 21:50
Oh it definitely should last that long. Shouldn't last ten minutes really.
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User #6766153 - 30 Jul 18 13:29
No matter how shite or bleak things look, remember that it will ALWAYS make for an entertaining and interesting Patreon post. We're all rooting for you and the team!
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 21:51
I'm going to quote that back to you one day! Thank you though
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User #8987927 - 30 Jul 18 12:42
I’m getting the distinct impression you don’t want to do the radio show any more. ?
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 21:50
Nah it's fine. I got to interview one of my heroes in the second show on Monday so it has its moments. Just a long and exhausting day.
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User #8577273 - 30 Jul 18 12:42
Have a lovely show, Ian. I'll be listening back tomorrow. It's my dream that one of these days I'll be able to listen to it live. :-D
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User #6340915 - 30 Jul 18 18:43
I listened live for the first time today and was totally thrown by the full length versions of the songs. Im so used to just a few seconds that it was odd to hear them full.
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 21:51
The songs are the only difference fear not. I spend most of the show deleting the songs that have been put on my playlist and trying to find others.
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User #8577273 - 1 Aug 18 11:46
I often google the songs if I can manage to hear the song title, pause the podcast & listen to the song online so I don't miss out on the tone of the show. If you looked at my iTunes you would see that it was heavily influenced by your song choices on Fubar! I have a very weird playlist indeed!
Time Management
Time Managementmore_vert
2018-07-29T15:28:01+00:00
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Hello there

I've spoken a lot on here about plate spinning, and it's reached fever pitch presently. I've art commissions, personal art projects, editing of the film and the podcast, my Forty20 article to write (as well as next months as I am attempting to get ahead), and a sit down, all of which are vying for attention. As it remains grump central here today, and as the weather flipping so dramatically remains a further mood threat, I've decided to do a bit of everything in an attempt to find some stabilisation.

Thus far I've done some editing of the podcast, some work on the Frank Sidebottom wall art, and am about to edit another section of the podcast then do some movie edit planning. This evening is earmarked for the art commission stuff I have to do, and then I'll attempt an early night so that travelling to London for Fubar tomorrow is as little a drag as its ever able to be. An ideal world would be lighting a fire and watching a movie, but an ideal world is proving slightly elusive.

The podcast above is a diversion Barry and I took whilst recording the ritual section of the ParaPod Special, as we'd been interrupted a few times by a very loud tractor. As it transpired, the noise of the tractor wasn't quite as invasive as first thought from hearing it through the headphones, but we took twenty minutes of self-analysis, body image discussion, and other nonsense, so you can hear us chatting kind of in real-life during an enforced break from a work situation. It's an undemanding chat for you to have a listen to on a wet Sunday afternoon.

Here's some of the art stuff I did this morning. I wanted to put Sidebottom's name on the top of the piece, in his own handwriting, but was only able to find fabric paint that had a more gel/3D effect. It remains to be seen if this will hold to the painted wood, but fingers crossed that when I spray seal it later, this will hold it all safely together. Isn't the end of the world if it doesn't, but could do without it going wrong.

I started by taking a pic of the piece to be written on and printing it out, so that I could then draw over it with a sharpie and get a vague idea how it would line up;

Then I pencilled it onto the actual piece, using the print out as a guideline. This took about seven goes, and a lot of rubbing out, but eventually got it sufficient.

Finally, it was time to apply the paint. I'd no idea how easy/difficult this would be, and for some reason was reluctant to test it elsewhere. I just went for it. This isn't the best picture, because my concentration was naturally mostly on the job in hand, but you get the idea.

Which leaves us with this:

There we have it. I'm not elated with it, but I guess it's ok. It's now on the side in the kitchen attempting to dry, and there's no clue of how long that will take. Stuff has been drying very quick in the heat, but as it's now freezing then who knows. It's still pretty much wet for the moment, so I'm not going to touch it at all until I get back from Fubar tomorrow night. Maybe Tuesday morning. If it's still wet then I shall throw it into a field and we'll never speak of it again.

Also, I'd not normally draw attention to this, but in my present self-loathing I am happy to draw your eye to the "e". This is what happens when a clandestine air bubble makes its way to the bottom of the nozzle. Absolutely nothing I could do to repair it, it's one of those irreversible annoyances. I warn you now, you won't be able to unsee it after this picture...

Oh yeah, that was the thing I was gonna tell you on the podcast yesterday that I forgot. I'm so used to painting digitally now, that when I was painting the front piece of the wall art I made a mistake and actually paused to delete it and go back a step, before realising this is an impossibility in real life. I make no claim not to be mental, so you can think it all you like...

Back to the edit.

Hope your Sunday has been peaceful and relaxing for you

Much love

xxxxx


Comments (16)
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User #10356919 - 30 Jul 18 22:26
Ian and Barry, you two are fucking hilarious to listen to! I would honestly enjoy a podcast series of you two just rambling on with these different stories. Can’t wait to see you live in November
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 21:56
Mainly me though yeah?
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User #10356919 - 31 Jul 18 21:59
Of course ?
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User #8577273 - 30 Jul 18 12:02
I like the 'e'. I think it draws the eye & I think it will allow the eye to travel down the rest of the piece once it's finished.
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 21:56
Haha that's a very "glass half full" approach. I personally wanted to throw the whole thing across the room...
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User #8577273 - 1 Aug 18 11:55
Well it's your prerogative of course & some artists do smash up sculptures if they're not going to plan but I think you should stick with it. Like everything else you turn your hand to, it's going to be brilliant!
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User #4166211 - 29 Jul 18 16:54
If it's any help I think everyone looks like a bellend with their shirt off in public. Size doesn't come into it.
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User #8568347 - 29 Jul 18 18:26
Totally agree x
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 21:55
Not me, I look ace.
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User #8699009 - 29 Jul 18 16:08
I think that gel pen effect has worked out beautifully. Suitably cartoony and larger-than-life. And I never would’ve noticed the air bubble. This is one of the benefits of being hyposensitive, I guess. Thanks for the unexpected sunday podcast!
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 21:55
Pleasure sir, and thank you for the kind words
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User #8800415 - 29 Jul 18 20:12
Barry did you ever go to wet and wild? I loved the black hole (there’s was a lot of double entendres at W&W now I think back) but I could never do the two racer slides that were next to it, when you’d watch people go down fron the top they’d just disappear like they were falling off the edge of a cliff. Forget it, I just stayed in the hot tub area tryna pull girls. I also once nearly drowned in one of those wave pool things in crowtree leisure centre, the waves would come on with no warning and be full blast straight away, it was a right berserk death trap.
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User #8571788 - 31 Jul 18 15:14
I did. Remember it very well. A very scary walk through a terrifying housing estate from the Metro to W+W I recall. Best ride was the Kamikaze but were were scared of it because apparently someone hammered a nail into the tube once and some kid got their leg sliced open. It was a sheer drop that ride as well. We used to go on the pull in there as well and I met a lass who I ended up being with for quite a while. That was on the rapids though.
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 21:55
Get a room you two
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User #8568347 - 29 Jul 18 15:36
Please don't break ♥️
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 21:54
I'm usually ok at patching up when I do x
Grumpcast
Grumpcastmore_vert
2018-07-28T20:54:20+00:00
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Grumpcast 2018-07-28T20:54:20+00:00close

As I was indisposed today, I took the only opportunities I had to record you a little grumpy podcast. I've no issue whatsoever if you don't wish to listen to me being a spoilt curmudgeon, so feel free to skip.

To balance it out, here's some of the art work I did last night on the Frank Sidebottom wall art. I'm woeful at painting in real life, but I think this will be ok. Although actually, firstly here's the Blu-Ray cover for the first cut of the movie.

Look at Dodds' cross little face...now the Sidebottom painting...



Getting there innit?

Hope you're Saturday has been peaceful and fruitful. Feel free to come and give me a cuddle.

Sending all the love your way

xxxxx


Comments (23)
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User #9198286 - 28 Jul 18 21:19
*cuddle*
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 21:57
feels weird this, doesn't it?
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User #3278718 - 1 Aug 18 03:41
I feel such a fool.
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User #9046398 - 28 Jul 18 23:27
So close could've stopped off for a brew on the way back.
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 21:59
Well you tell me that now
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User #9436806 - 28 Jul 18 21:55
? This art is really fantastic.... ? I wonder if somewhere in China some guy has a Patreon in which he shows himself carefully creating a Thanos infinity gauntlet from a Marigold and plastic beads. I think I would pledge to that.
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 21:58
we all would Jonathan, we all would
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User #8568029 - 28 Jul 18 21:11
What a lovey Sidebottom. And here’s a cuddle ((cuddle)) YES I’M FULLY CLOTHED IAN x
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 21:57
Like that's ever happened x
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User #8577273 - 28 Jul 18 23:47
Beautiful! *Hugs* I hope you're fast asleep & if that's the case, *gentle hugs* so I don't wake you up xxx
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 21:59
Much appreciated lovely x
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User #8643989 - 29 Jul 18 09:12
Somebody’s earning Aspall’s cyder vinegar £££££
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 21:59
is it posh? I've a feeling it came in a hamper or something...
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User #3278718 - 28 Jul 18 21:02
Cuddles coming forthwith. What do you MEAN ‘stop gripping so tightly i can’t breathe’ ? Oh.... you’ve turned blue... Look, I could go on for hours with this inner monologue - I’ve had a few alcoholic beverages and I’m stuck on a delayed plane. And before you start feeling sorry for me, I’m in business class and the destination is Mauritius. I did an ACTUAL squeal of excitement seeing the DVD cover of the first cut. THAT MEANS IT IS REALLY REAL!!!! Anyway, hope you have a great weekend, thanks as always, for the posts. Great art work with Sidebottom ??
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 21:56
it's a blu-ray you philistine! It's also an empty case x
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User #6201327 - 28 Jul 18 21:20
I’m joining the cuddle party x
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 21:58
*orgy x
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User #408032 - 28 Jul 18 21:23
His eye are weirdly beautiful. Good work. I would come over and cuddle you but I struggle to find my way around Grimsby sometimes so I don't stand a chance of finding middle-of-nowheresville. I'd never be seen again ? xx
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 21:58
Ah my reputation precedes me...x
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User #8699009 - 28 Jul 18 21:34
Beautiful work as always. ?? Like Tammy said- wonderful eyes.
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 21:58
thanks Tim
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User #9120428 - 29 Jul 18 09:19
Sorry you are struggling. Hope you get loads of good sleep. ?
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 22:00
When it's all added together then nearly, but not at the same time...
Away Day
Away Daymore_vert
2018-07-27T12:56:04+00:00
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Away Day 2018-07-27T12:56:04+00:00close

This is an almost insultingly short audio clip, but it's something unheard before as a behind-the-scenes conversation between myself and Dodds, between recording, about what is coming next in the show. I know it’s ultra-short, but that at least shows you it wasn’t staged, as we’d have made it more interesting if it was. Might have even chucked a joke in it.

What I think it does show is that thought does go into this, from both sides, in terms of what falls best and where. This should also show you that I had no idea of what was to come in this particular episode, so have no choice but to surrender to Dodds’ decision, as he’s better informed than me (and there’s a sentence you don’t hear every day).

I went through pretty much every emotion on my day away yesterday, starting with "hugely irritable" at having to get up and out the house so early to drive up north. I had the meeting about the Johnny Vegas Celebrity Bowls Tournament, and held my nerve when introduced to Linzi Prescott (Steve Prescott’s widow). It’s all very exciting and nerve-wracking, and I found out that I shall be commentating on matches with Terry O’Connor, who is a former Wigan player turned Sky Sports pundit. Never met him before, but I do know that neither of us know anything about bowls. So we shall see how that pans out…

I then had an hour where I went over to Burtonwood Services, which seems to have become my go-to place for unique experiences after Dodds had that date with my mum there. I’d arranged to meet a chap called Peter there, from on this here Patreon (oh, you can just feel John Beck pique, can’t you?), as he very kindly offered to give me some model-making equipment that he no longer needed. So I was sat in blistering heat, waiting to meet a stranger with some free power tools at a service station. My life is genuinely exciting sometimes. What if he’d just arrived and shouted “HERE’S YOUR POWER TOOL” as he thrust a chainsaw through me? See! Exciting!

As it transpired he brought a vintage magnifying lamp, a scroll saw, and some ready cut modelling wood. Nobody was injured. We had a lovely chat about the movie for a bit, and then I was off to my next appointment (after going back to Johnny’s house as Bev had dropped her bank card and mascara in my car). That’s a proper kind thing to do though huh? To give me some model-making stuff? What a nice bloke he was. There are some good people in the world.

So, Saints V Warrington was my last date of the evening…

I’d have probably gone anyway, but I had to go last night as Forty20 have asked me to write something that's kind of specific to that game. Some game it was too. Pretty poor performance in the first half (nilled at half time for the first time this year), and then an electric second half of comeback, culminating with a winning penalty goal, 55 metres out, at the death. It’s been a long time since I’ve jumped around like that at a Rugby League game. Properly cathartic, with Vegas topless on Facetime doing the same. It was very funny to hear a kid behind me saying "look, Dad, Johnny Vegas!", followed by his little brother saying "Johnny Vegas with no clothes on!"...

I’ve not sold the game itself well to you, but it was easily the most exciting one of the season so far. I felt guilty having a free ticket, as I’d have happily paid a hundred quid for that. I was even glad of the myriad of M6 closures and diversions on my way home. Didn’t resent the four-hour drive as it felt necessary to continue to calm me.

Looking ahead, today I’m gonna be catching up on art stuff, and will try to edit another section of The ParaPod Special. I’ve got to go over to Editor Simon’s tomorrow, to be present whilst we do some editing specifics on the movie, so really this is my last proper day at home for a few days, what with Fubar etc.

Remember I told you that I’d found a child manikin for drawing from in America? Well that arrived this morning, which was a cool thing until I realised that the head had snapped off.

Bit sinister now, isn’t it? Looks like it should be in Sid Phillips’ yard. Am gonna make do and mend for the time being, as it’s a brilliant asset for the commission drawing I need to get done urgently, and we shall see what the company I bought it from say about this. Other than it having no head, and being literally as flimsy as a Kinder toy, it’s a really cool thing. So, that’s making up a big part of my day, and I’m going to do some art stuff for pleasure too, as I’ve had an idea for a box frame with Jawas and sand in it. I also really want to get the Frank Sidebottom wall art finished. I did a bit more on it a couple of days ago, and still have glue on my fingers from that. It’s looking right good though I think.

There we go. Tomorrow I’ll show you some of what I’ve gotten up to today, and over the next few days there are more exclusive audio clips from the new podcast, more T-Shirt images (John Beck has created a strain of shirts that I’ve been blown away by this morning), and I want to tell you about the book idea I had yesterday during my drives (it’s an amendment to an existing project that I shared with you ages ago). I’d have done you a podcast about it today, but I’ve got no voice left after that incredible evening on the Saints’ terraces last night. I suppose I’d better write my article as well, hadn’t I?

You get yourself a lovely day please, and I’ll hold the fort here.

Sending love

Xxx

Comments (10)
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User #8977362 - 27 Jul 18 19:32
Mr Ian,Just so you know Aldi have a small compressor and half decent dual action airbrush in stock for £60,the compressors usually runt to that price alone and the airbrush isnt half bad,I remember you saying you not really used one so at that price it may be time to learn . :-)
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 22:02
I shall look into this...main issue is finding the time to learn how to use it properly
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User #9120428 - 27 Jul 18 13:10
Box frames half price in Hobbycraft at the moment but you probably already know that.
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 22:00
haha of course...they're still cheaper in Ikea though...
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User #8789322 - 28 Jul 18 17:48
Not related to this post, but do you know if the Nottingham ParaPod is age restricted? The e-ticket doesn't say anything and nor does the website. Due to babysitting woes, my wife can't go so I intend to take my eleven year old son instead (don't worry, he loves the ParaPod and swearing won't be an issue for him - he's Asperger's and has an interest in etymology).
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 22:04
I've genuinely no idea. I think the main reason it may be is because it's a bar (I think), would be worth checking with the venue. I'm fine with it personally, as long as you are!
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User #8567850 - 27 Jul 18 13:13
Until you realised that the head had snapped off? How long had you been working with it before you got suspicious?
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 22:00
Can you stop sexualising everything I say please? x
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User #355182 - 27 Jul 18 13:31
I very rarely go to the football any more, but I also find that catharsis there at times. Glad it helped you a bit :)
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 22:01
It was a brilliant game. Eventually.
Some More T-Shirt W.I.P
Some More T-Shirt W.I.Pmore_vert
2018-07-26T12:01:00+00:00
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Some More T-Shirt W.I.P 2018-07-26T12:01:00+00:00close

Hello there friends

As I said yesterday, I'm off on my lonesome travels today, off doing all my CHARITY work. Actually am doing some charity work, going to a production meeting for the upcoming Steve Prescott Foundation Bowls day that Johnny Vegas does, but also going up to Saints for the last game of the normal season before the split, as I've my little job working for Forty20 Magazine, haven't I? Plus I support Saints but don't let that stop it being tax deductible please...

Anyway, in my absence I am plying you with a few more pictures from the John Beck portfolio which show some of the further designs/planned designs for ParaPod T-Shirts. You'll also see at the bottom that I allowed John to design a shirt for himself, and what he came up with was magnificent.

He'll be panicking right now that I'm going to show you one of the designs he did that he assumed was for our eyes only... will it be there John...? Cold sweat?

Hope you like them - there's some more exclusive audio from the upcoming ParaPod Special for you tomorrow.

Have a smashing little day please

love and love

xxxxx









(that's John's bespoke personal design)

Comments (30)
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User #5258333 - 26 Jul 18 12:10
I'm not sure how much interest others would have bit could you consider doing a package/bundle of all the shirts when they arrive? I don't think I'll be able to choose as I already want all of them.
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 22:06
We'll never have them in our possession as they'll be outsourced to RedBubble. They're made to order as funds won't stretch to me buying thousands of pounds of t-shirts to then try and sell on.
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User #4788856 - 26 Jul 18 13:08
Love them all, want them all but if I absolutely had to choose just one, like at arrow point or something, then I would be a Big Fi man. That design is sweeeeet.
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 22:09
Yes you absolutely have to choose one
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User #8158898 - 26 Jul 18 12:59
Love the 'Keep it Light' sketch… Makes me wonder, will we be able to purchase Parapod branded pre-lit candles?
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 22:08
I wanted to but royal mail got all pissy about it
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User #9226841 - 26 Jul 18 12:24
Cant wait for these to become available. Have a feeling that I may buy a few too many haha. Any chance of them being available in white?
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 22:07
They'll all be available in a section of colours. We just use mainly black for the mock ups
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User #8878350 - 26 Jul 18 19:21
I'm not a T-shirt person, but I love the unlabelled Big Fi one. Just one thing, before the designs go further: Gladys Pip, not Pipp. Got to be consistent with the badge.
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 22:11
He's been given a formal warning over this...
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User #408032 - 26 Jul 18 19:54
Any chance these will be up before QED in October? They have a 'Friday night in the Mercure bar' feel to them ? xx
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 22:13
I'd have thought so, all being well. Which it rarely is. x
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User #8568944 - 26 Jul 18 12:13
The plural of 'toothbrush' is 'toothbri' (as we all know), but is the plural of 'toothbri' actually 'teethbri'? Asking for a friend*... *who has had too much sun
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 22:06
hahaha. If you would like it to be then yes
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User #10690066 - 26 Jul 18 15:33
Any chance that some of the designs could not have the Parapod logo on? Or have it somewhere more discreet?
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 22:09
Are you ashamed of us Paul?
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User #355182 - 26 Jul 18 12:27
100% would buy BigFi and wonky tit. Amazing work JB!
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 22:07
Yep he might be a genius. But he's still not kissing me.
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User #8568029 - 1 Aug 18 08:53
what Ian means is he likes to be in charge when it comes to the kissing bit x
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User #8568347 - 26 Jul 18 19:34
Love BigFi! Can see Gareth and I arguing over those. I think the wonky tit one would sadly look odd on me, the placement just wouldn't work, wonkiness or not, but I think the design is really clever.
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 22:12
I'll get John to do you a bespoke one. Just send him your measurements.
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User #8779818 - 26 Jul 18 12:21
Is it bad that I want the majority of these T-shirts?
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 22:06
Struggling to see how that could be bad
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User #4166211 - 26 Jul 18 18:15
Can you imagine the looks you'd get if you went out wearing a t-shirt that proclaims I quite like a wonky tit? Put Barry in one and see if he's constantly approached by ladies being laid siege by time and gravity. I would also query where John's mind was when designing the toothbri one. There's a bit of resemblance to spanking paddles. Not that I think people should be ashamed of their kinks.
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 22:09
Oh he's not. The stories I could tell you.
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User #4166211 - 1 Aug 18 08:21
It could be a replacement for Bump and Grindr on Fubar. Speaking of, did Nat understand Barry's Jeremy Hunt comment? Because I pissed myself but it seemed to pass her by.
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User #4917502 - 27 Jul 18 01:09
totally down for a gladys pipp shirt
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 22:13
It's supposed to be "Pip". Which is why John Beck currently has a black eye.
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User #11057655 - 26 Jul 18 12:33
The wonky tit shirt should just be two semi circles, one longer than the other, on the chest area, with two dots for nipples. No other explanation or quote! Haha
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 22:07
We'll chuck in a black marker pen so you can adapt yours
Editing The ParaPod Special
Editing The ParaPod Special more_vert
2018-07-25T13:40:36+00:00
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Hello there

As promised/threatened, here is a podcast covering my edit-work on the forthcoming ParaPod Special 2018 from today. I basically take you through the edit of the first section, in as user-friendly a way as possible. I just listened back to it and I would find it interesting, so there must be somebody else out there who would find it interesting too. It's as behind-the-scenes as it gets, so hopefully it's of some use.

I'd maybe find a time you can concentrate on listening to it though... it's fiddly in places.

Hope you're having a wonderful day

All of the love

xxx

Comments (38)
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User #12007619 - 25 Jul 18 13:45
Perfect timing! Something to listen to during quiet times at work this afternoon. Been loving getting up to date since signing up last month. Wish I’d learnt of your good self sooner to have gotten some parapod badges but, looking forward to the merch. Many thanks!
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 22:14
Did it send you to sleep at work or not?
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User #12007619 - 1 Aug 18 09:20
Not at all, it gave me something to keep me awake. Plus, I did a sound engineering course at college years ago so I was able to picture what you were doing ?
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User #11990869 - 30 Jul 18 18:47
Interesting stuff, and a lot of work on display! On the earlier Parapods I did feel the editing had an unnatural flow to it due to all the editing, so it was interesting to hear Ian mention that too! Sometimes there would be edit through the breaths.. so you'd hear a breath start and cut dead, or cut from silence to the end of a breath.
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 22:23
Usually for time, rather than just ineptitude. Not always though. Sometimes it was ineptitude.
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User #9120428 - 26 Jul 18 07:58
Really interesting, but I shall continue to imagine you magic your podcasts out of dark matter.
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 22:21
and I'll continue to wish I could...
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User #4788856 - 26 Jul 18 11:52
This is alchemy.
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 22:21
Is that a good thing or not?
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User #4166211 - 25 Jul 18 20:45
Please tell me Barry living his life like Goldblum in The Fly isn't because his cock's fallen off and he's keeping it in a jar. That was really interesting. How the fuck were you managing to edit it in a few days when the Parapod was a weekly release? I knew it would have been hard work but I had no idea you did so much. The only downside of listening to that is it highlighted to me my own geekiness because I was immediately thinking "The Fly was released in 86, so either late 86 or possibly 87 here because UK releases were often very staggered compared to the states in the 80s/90s, so probably early 87" and I decided to google it and it was Feb 87. No one should just know that.
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 22:19
Well neither of us did...
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User #311454 - 25 Jul 18 21:21
This was really interesting to listen to, gave some great insight into the audio production side of things. I imagine it can be quite rewarding to splice segments together and make everything sound seamless. Look forward to more of these!
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 22:20
Sometimes it is, but it's also draining and time consuming and you realise you've been sat still for ten hours straight. It's a miracle that I've kept my figure tbh.
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User #311454 - 31 Jul 18 22:42
Haha. Ah yes, I imagine it is. Worth it though definitely. The hours of work put in deifntley comes through in the end product. Can definitely tell when a podcast has had hours of work put in, compared to something that's been just cut together quickly. It sounds like it can be a lot of work! Probably how you maintain your figure.
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User #8577273 - 28 Jul 18 01:47
So interesting. Thanks for lifting up the skirt of the podcast making process.
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 22:22
ha - I normally get told off for that
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User #8158898 - 25 Jul 18 15:27
Holy smokes. Well that was a pretty insightful listen. I can’t even begin to imagine how long it must have taken to edit those early podcasts with Raji n Ed.
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 22:17
Every podcast has the same basic challenge to it tbh
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User #9028619 - 25 Jul 18 14:35
This is great. It actually helped address some issues I’ve had with trimming down dialogue. I’m at least a little familiar with audio editing so I could picture what you described quite easily, but I’m sure others will be able to follow the process as well. Definitely would like to hear more like this :)
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 22:14
Thanks John... I didn't think it would come across well, but it could have been much worse
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User #3957501 - 26 Jul 18 10:08
Loved this! Both entertaining and educational. Brilliant bit of Podception!
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 22:21
Haha - cheers Joe
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User #830951 - 26 Jul 18 19:01
Everyone who ever thinks about making a podcast should be made to listen to this, and then banned from the internet if they don't bother putting any of it into action. So bloody sick of hearing people going "Right, what are we going to talk about next?" or moving papers around as they try to find their notes for the next bit, or of downloading a podcast and finding out that it's two fucking hours long.
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 22:22
they must never know Pete. Let them flounder...
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User #8567731 - 31 Jul 18 22:23
I don't mind a long podcast (in fact, I love them) but not a waffley one. Edit, tidy it up, or simply plan ahead, I'm with you there. No excuse for unorganised output.
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User #830951 - 31 Jul 18 22:39
I feel like it's easy to say 'Let them flounder' as someone who doesn't spend much time (unless something's changed recently!) listening to other people's podcasts...
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User #8567731 - 26 Jul 18 00:25
This was amazing. More of this kind of thing would be great! Thanks for taking the time to Inceptipodcast.
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 22:20
Haha - great description
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User #4646677 - 25 Jul 18 19:21
Thanks for sharing this, after listening to podcasts fit so many years it's really nice to get an insight on how editing (of a really tight podcast at that) works. Me and my other parapod fan friend are so excited for the special!
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 22:19
*"the" other ParaPod fan
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User #11440698 - 25 Jul 18 16:06
I've no idea what the editing process actually entails so despite your assumptions I found that really interesting. Which coincidentally was incredibly fucking annoying because I've been on night shift and actually wanted a nap on the sofa.
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 22:17
Oh surely this was ideal for a nap?!
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User #5185063 - 25 Jul 18 17:05
We did a bunch of editing in my radio unit for uni and they said if you don't like an interviewee or if they were a prick leaving in only their ums and err really makes them sound thick. Also the stutter you have, I have seen with alot of people. It's only really a problem when it actually affect you ability to get out the word rather than annother form of erm or ahh as it seems for you. A good way btw to stop the um an erring is to slow down all of you speach so that you start think of the new sentence in you current sentence. The editing interesting esp about leaving in the occasional stutter rather than I guess over sanatising it.
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 22:19
oh I'm too old to change now mate
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User #6340915 - 25 Jul 18 15:15
I found this really interesting. I know that your podcasts are edited, but had not realised quite how much effort and thought goes into the final product. I know nothing about editing so this has made me look at your work with a new respect.
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 22:15
I've been telling you all for years! Why does nobody ever believe me!?
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User #9198286 - 25 Jul 18 16:07
That was super interesting. Thanks for recording it! Do you enjoy the editing process or do you see it more as something that just needs to be done to get the end product? Thanks again :)
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 22:18
I absolutely hate it for 90% of the time. It has a 10% satisfaction payback though.
ParaPod Special 2018 - Deleted Scene...
ParaPod Special 2018 - Deleted Scene...more_vert
2018-07-24T21:47:57+00:00
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ParaPod Special 2018 - Deleted Scene... 2018-07-24T21:47:57+00:00close
*Spoiler explained first, but incoming at end of this post*

Hello all

I’d have a listen to the audio above, before you read this post, but please do come back to the post as there’s a nice pay-off at the bottom. If you read the post and see the pay-off before listening to the audio, then you’ve taken a voluntary spoiler and I will listen to no complaints as it’ll be your own fault. I’m going to now blather on for a bit to avoid you seeing the spoiler at the bottom, but you have been fairly warned. I mean, probably to the point of overkill, as it can’t possibly live up to this hype… but anyway…

Well, that was an exhausting day. I’m now sat at the kitchen table with the Robocop soundtrack on the turntable, trying to make sense of 2 hours and 20 minutes of new ParaPod audio. That’s a lot of audio by the standards we reached at the end of Series 3, where I think we’d got the records down to roughly 1hr 45mins by the end of it.

As I kind of predicted in the Cabin Fever Podcast from my garden last night, this was far from plain sailing. Not helped at all by the – boring alert – stifling heat that accompanied it. Dodds got held up in traffic on his way here because the roads were melting, and despite ten minutes of settling in the garden before attempting to record, we certainly didn’t hit the ground running. Not a lost cause however.

I’ve not had a proper listen through it yet, but I took the liberty of recording some bits of extra audio as we went along, which I’m gonna attempt to use as examples of the recording/editing process with you over the next week or so on here. My plan is to get the finished version released, early here on patreon, by next Wednesday (possibly before), and then to the general public a week later. What you get exclusively on here, is access to the process of making it. You may have to bear with me as I work out the best way of presenting that to you, and you may wish to avoid it if you’d rather just hear the completed episode first, but I reckon it may be an interesting process for you to follow.

I’ll upload some unedited footage and record some audio of me editing it, so you can hear the difference and get a listen to the editing tricks, and I’ll also upload some of the behind-the-scenes audio of us chatting between official takes, where we tentatively plan ahead as to how it will run. Any deleted sections that I’m sad to see go (there’s usually a few) will also get uploaded here, as well as the final podcast. It could be interminably dull for you, but you’ll be party to the whole process, and that’s a rare privilege that you are very welcome to.

I’m gonna break the posts up, and there’ll be other stuff between them (almost certainly some art work in progress, and a few more of John Beck’s T-Shirt designs), just so it doesn’t become too bogged down. This sounds gracious, but it’s as much for me as you, as I appear to have chosen one of my busiest weeks to do this. I have to travel up north for a production meeting about Johnny Vegas’ bowls tournament, do some editing stuff, and then Fubar on Monday. Even as I was typing that out I thought I’d better say that all dates are subject to change on this...

Anyway, it’s probably safe enough to show you this picture now. The audio that accompanies this post was originally intended to be in the podcast, but we decided to re-record a shorter allusion to it for pacing, and I’ve given you the original take on here. You have no doubt imagined what the present Barry was fooled into buying me looked like… Well, how close were you...?

State of that (the present, not me, but yep...).

It’s too ridiculous to even be angry about. I’d have kept it, but he’s taken it home to start his paypal dispute. The experience was the birthday present, and I’m happy with that.

Hope you’re doing ok, and that you have been surviving the heat if you’re in the UK. Stay safe please.

Much love to you

Xxx

Comments (33)
user avatar
User #6766153 - 25 Jul 18 11:00
What has the better soundtrack; Robocop the movie or Robocop on Gameboy? (It's obviously the latter).
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 22:29
The latter did more for that soundtrack than the movie
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User #6766153 - 1 Aug 18 09:28
I'm absolutely fascinated by it. It's better than the 95% of vapourwave being made today.
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User #8823868 - 24 Jul 18 22:39
Facebook are appalling for the fucking bollocks adverts they allow on there. I'm always interested in reading bts and trivia of films and television, so getting to listen to some bts of the Parapod sounds cool
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 22:27
now remember you said you wanted BTS...
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User #4166211 - 24 Jul 18 22:42
Oh god. You have to feel for him. Also, there's got to be mileage in Dodd's Digital Diary. Just a record of all his online disputes.
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 22:27
He's a digital warrior
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User #4166211 - 1 Aug 18 08:25
I would love a little segment in the new podcast where it's just asking him who he's argued with that week.
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User #311454 - 24 Jul 18 22:05
That is ridiculous haha, I hope Barry is able to get his money back - but hilarious all the same.
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 22:26
and he should then give the money to me right?
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User #311454 - 31 Jul 18 22:47
I mean it kinda was a birthday gift, so yeah he definitely should. If anything to just apologise at this point for almost "ruining" your special day (which admittedly has already happened).
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User #8577273 - 28 Jul 18 00:51
I feel for you both. For Barry being ripped off (the anxiety I would have felt if that happened to me... He brought receipts & a video as supportive evidence....) and for you not having a good birthday, being excited by the prospect of a present & then...
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 22:30
Yep. This. No present Shae!
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User #8567731 - 24 Jul 18 21:58
I've had an awful day and this has cheered me right up. Brilliant. I'm sorry that Barry got conned and that you didn't get a great present, but by God, this is funny. Thanks.
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 22:26
Oh I didn't get ANY present. He took it back.
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User #4788856 - 26 Jul 18 13:12
Bless you both and the abundant wellspring of joy that is your ongoing relationship.
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 22:30
and no present for me
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User #9197726 - 25 Jul 18 07:05
Oh bless him........
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 22:28
and what about me with no present???
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User #9197726 - 1 Aug 18 07:01
He gave you the gift of laughter! But bless you too!
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User #8823868 - 31 Jul 18 22:36
Aye. I did notice you have uploaded some behind the scenes stuff but I have decided to wait until after listening to the episode before listening to the bts stuff, just to avoid spoilerish stuff
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User #9298857 - 25 Jul 18 00:01
Tell him to take the batteries out before he sends it back, and sell them on eBay.
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 22:28
Do you honestly think it had batteries in it?
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User #10755355 - 24 Jul 18 22:05
Pretty sure I’ve seen blokes selling them to passing cars at Blackpool illuminations. Sounds like a good subject for one of the old complaints letters.
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 22:27
Oh it wasn't even that standard
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User #8905983 - 25 Jul 18 13:37
well, at least it wasnt an acre of the moon.
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 22:29
Let's not get too cocky with Christmas coming up
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User #5258333 - 25 Jul 18 00:44
I mean, would anyone be surprised if it were magic beans?
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 22:28
he genuinely gave me that two Christmasses ago.
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User #10811990 - 24 Jul 18 21:59
Properly gave me giggles before bed! Bless Barry for trying but who else was this going to happen to?? Happy Belated Birthday Ian x
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 22:26
Well, according to Paypal - literally thousands of people. yet Facebook are still running the adverts...
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User #4166211 - 25 Jul 18 16:44
You know what have been the perfect punchline to this? If you had set up the company selling fakes in order to scam Barry out of £30. I'm considering starting an online company targeted at Barry - Correspondence courses to learn Derren Brown's powers. The genuine flying brick from Borley Rectory. Bits of the tree Slenderman was tied to. A dating service offering ladies in your area with a broken leg and wonky tit. I'd bankrupt him in a week.
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 22:29
but then I'd have weeks of him calling me with his dispute
Cabin Fever Podcast On Tour
Cabin Fever Podcast On Tourmore_vert
2018-07-23T23:39:01+00:00
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Cabin Fever Podcast On Tour 2018-07-23T23:39:01+00:00close

Right, it's boiling innit? Come out in the garden with me.

(Apologies for lateness - I'm so bad at timing the upload times on these things)

Hope you safe and happy

Much love

xxxxx

Comments (19)
user avatar
User #5258333 - 24 Jul 18 00:50
I see it like this. You let Barry into your house so you've been through the worst case scenario already.
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 22:30
Oh he's alright at cleaning and DIY
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User #460948 - 24 Jul 18 18:47
I did actually think when I was posting in the comments that it looked a bit like we were trying to turn your Patreon comment section into a vaping discussion board! It is a very deep rabbit hole once you start getting into it with cupboards full of mods, batteries, tanks and enough liquid to fill a bath. I do think building your own fancy coils can be very therapeutic though. I was desperately willing the Ali-G guy to stop doing the voice during the interview, he definitely forgot a few times so threw in a few extra catchphrases to catch up. I didn't think you were being confrontational at all, just repeatedly giving him the opportunity to be himself and give some proper insight into what he does (and why) but he really didn't want to take them at all. Could he maybe have been told by the PR for the channel 4 show that he was never to break character when promoting it?
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 22:32
Oh you're welcome to discuss it! I just don't know what you're on about! And I've blocked out the Ali G thing...
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User #8567731 - 24 Jul 18 22:24
I've just taken up ham radio as a hobby, so I'm all over Ohms and the like right now. I don't vape but I can get 26/26 on my radio license mock exams pretty consistently. How's that for nerdy?
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 22:33
it's 26/26 on the nerdometer.
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User #8567731 - 31 Jul 18 22:35
You have no idea. Tonight was my first visit to Radio Club. The first rule of Radio Club is "Do not talk about Radio Club (on 144-146mHz without first addressing a licensed amateur station because general broadcast is a contravention of your licence conditions and could result in prosecution by OFCOM)".
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User #9046398 - 24 Jul 18 21:53
So you dont need to really have a get together at your house as the patreons are going to the parapod live. So that is good enough.
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 22:32
That's true. But I have to travel for that.
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User #4166211 - 24 Jul 18 01:45
It's probably not worth taking a bullet for us, mate. I mean I can't speak for anyone else but I know I'm a cunt. Odds are there's at least one other one. It's interesting that you say you trust us. I forget sometimes I don't actually know you or Barry and sometimes I'll make a joke that might seem a little spikey and panic in case it reads like me being a dick. I forget I can't really make the same jokes I do with mates because I don't really know you but I feel like I do, if that makes sense. I've been on a declutter kick lately. I've got several thousand films in my house and can never find the one I'm looking for at any given time. That's not taking into account books and music. I'd love to hear the lost podcast but I can appreciate why you might not want to. As a suggestion maybe play it to John Beck or someone and get a honest opinion, test the waters.
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 22:31
Oh I only meant that one person! Joining my patreon does not guarantee I will die for you.
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User #4166211 - 1 Aug 18 08:30
I'm sure you have to mate, it's in the Patreon t&c. I'd die for you, lie for you, walk the wire for you. Whoever runs Patreon is clearly a big Bryan Adams fan.
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User #8577273 - 27 Jul 18 14:42
Hi Swoop! Stuart Goldsmith also has an interesting way of requesting funds. Just thought I'd mention it. I hope you're well xxx
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 22:36
You have to say it in sonar apparently x
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User #8569323 - 24 Jul 18 09:33
I'm sure your brother has told you what he does but you've just BLOCKED it out.
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 22:31
Slick.
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User #830951 - 25 Jul 18 11:47
You should just put up a one-line post saying "YOU DON'T HAVE TO READ ALL OF IT". If I see a post that doesn't take my fancy (which isn't often!) I just go "oh right, fair enough" and get back to what I was doing...
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 22:33
They're the posts where I hide bits of slagging you off Pete
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User #830951 - 31 Jul 18 22:42
Oh, no, I read those ones. They come as light relief when I'm lying in bed imagining what death would be like.
Some Heroics
Some Heroicsmore_vert
2018-07-22T20:50:15+00:00
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Some Heroics 2018-07-22T20:50:15+00:00close

Hello there Sunday evening

Many years ago, back when I humoured the process of television stuff, I found myself in a casting for a new sitcom called No Heroics, which was a superhero thing. It was basically the idea of superheroes existing in a real-life world, going to the pub and getting buses, that kind of thing. I remember the casting clearly, because about halfway through it, one of the blokes in there - very suddenly and animatedly - started talking about how he had been to see me at the Edinburgh fringe every year, and was a massive fan of Big And Daft (the old sketch group thing I used to be in).

Now, even by the response standard of my work since, Big And Daft had a very niche fan base. If you google it, you get one review on Chortle (with a bizarrely incorrect star rating – it’s a rave review and it’s showing two stars, but it’s perhaps not worth emailing Steve Bennett about now), and a press release from the BBC London show we ended up doing. There don’t appear to be any fan sites. It’s so forgotten, and that's all fine.

So I was kind of made up that this bloke in the audition was a fan, especially when he verified it by talking at length about specific bits from the shows. The other people in the casting shuffled their feet a bit, clearly not the connoisseurs that this chap was, but I was happy to take it where I got it and ignore the other baffled faces. It raises your confidence that sort of thing, and I reckon I went from awful to a high-mediocre the next time I read the dialogue. I got called back a week later for another audition.

That time, I was waiting outside (because I am very punctual/bad at gauging tube journey times), and the same bloke from the first audition came and spoke to me again. Even though I’d been introduced to him in the first one, I didn’t know his name or what he did on the show. His name was Drew, and he was the writer, and I’d definitely been told this, but there were three other people in the meeting, and I always forget to remember who anyone is literally the second I’m introduced. It’s not an indifferent thing, you’re just already nervous/on edge at that point, and obviously you can’t ask them again later. Plus my recollection of people is abysmal. I had to meet every comic in a dressing room by pretending I was trying to remember where we'd last gigged together, in the hope that this would prompt them to fill in the history for me. I rarely knew for certain that I'd even met somebody before, but always cracked on that I thought we had.

So, I was probably over-friendly with Drew (or “mate” as I called him), because I didn’t want him to think I was rude. We talked about comic books, and he told me some of the ideas for easter egg jokes on the set design for the show, which were great niche comic book references. He was very excitable, and told me he wanted me to play that part, giving me some tips on how to play it in the audition, which I tried to do. I’m not sure I did it successfully, but I still got the part, going on to have the most horrible time in attempting to remember lines on the actual filming days. The picture above is one of the scenes I did in one take, the others were a nightmare. All completely my own fault. If memory serves, I was so busy goading Raji that I had an acting job and he didn't, that I completely forgot to learn it.

I’m normally really good on lines, often aided hugely by the fact that I only usually had two, but this one was big chunks of long dialogue. The main scene also took place in a room with lots of supporting artists (nee "extras"), who were all being members of a fan club for the super heroes that I was playing the leader of. That makes it even harder to remember your lines when there’s a struggle, as you’re very aware that it’s not just one other actor who’s being held to ransom by your ineptitude, it’s loads of them.

All day long though, Drew kept coming over, being supportive and bigging me up, doing re-writes to make dialogue easier. He was kind of cheerleading for me, whilst everyone else seemed to be losing confidence. Turned out a bit of Big And Daft went a long way. There were plates of cocktail sausages knocking about and I suggested that I start eating loads of them in scenes to give myself a bit more thinking time and he thought that was a great idea. If you ever managed to see that episode, you’ll know that my sausage eating made the cut. I still hadn’t properly realised that he’d written the whole thing at this point. I think, to my shame, I thought he was just a production manager, or somebody who had a bit of creative input from the production company (I think it was Tiger Aspect…).

Eventually, I got all my lines out and we wrapped, and a week or so later I got a card through the post from Drew, thanking me for being involved, saying I did an excellent job (!) and with all his contact details on it. So I dropped him a mutually thankful email, and we half-stayed in touch. I liked him a lot, and the effort he made was a very good thing to have nearby.

The series broadcast came and went, without an awful lot of fuss. It was the first bespoke sitcom on ITV2, and it eventually found a little bit of a cult following. Not enough to get it a second series, but somehow it went into development for an American version, and Drew was off to the states to oversee it. All the noises were that it was definitely going to get made, and the network had high hopes. If you know anything about the nefarious ways in which TV production goes about its ludicrous business, you’ll know that this means it’ll get a non-broadcast pilot and disappear into either development hell, or into a bucket of untouchables. Which is what happened sadly. I didn’t really hear anything from Drew for a couple of years then. Until I heard he’d written Iron Man 3.

It was surreal, and would be unfathomable but for the fact it actually happened. One door had closed and another had opened, and he’d ended up working with Marvel. We chatted a bit about it, both expressing how bonkers it was, and I sent him a spec script where I played the barman that gave Tony Stark his first drink (which is a comic book reference that most grown-ups on here won’t get). I’ve still not heard back whether he is intending to press ahead with my idea…

I’m telling you all this because I like it as a story, I like the idea of the phoenix from the flames and naturally take great hope and inspiration from this. I’m telling you today though, because I went to the cinema earlier to see Hotel Artemis which has Jodie Foster and Jeff Goldblum in it (amongst many other brilliant actors). I saw a trailer for it before Hereditary last month and it was the first trailer in the batch that didn’t make me sigh. I liked it as an idea, and thought it looked exciting. Right at the end of the trailer it said “written and directed by Drew Pearce”. Obviously I broke my own cinema-etiquette rule and sent him an email over from my seat right away.

He told me that it’s struggled for numbers in the states (it opened there a while ago), and the projections weren’t great for the UK. He was self-deprecating about it, because what else can you be, but let’s not lose sight of the fact that he’s written and directed a big movie with big stars in it. That’s mental. Don’t you like it when people who aren’t dicks get something away? It’s also a really great movie. It’s paced and shot brilliantly, aesthetically bang on the money, and has a real darker graphic novel feel to it (which one would expect from him). There’s really nothing I like more than when good people make headway.

Just that really. I didn’t have a major point to make (and it wasn’t just me saying “hey everybody I know Drew Pearce”), I just liked that I got to go to the movies today and see a film that my friend made. It was packed too. Admittedly in one of the multiplex smaller screens, and it was packed with some absolute noisy idiots, but nevertheless, if I wish to live vicariously through somebody else’s success I shall do.

Thanks for all your feedback on the T-Shirts-in-progress so far yesterday. I think for the most part I’ve been in absolute agreement with you as to which ones are the best designs. Let’s talk about that tomorrow and I’ll show you a bit of updated art as well. Then it’s gonna be a ParaPod heavy week on here I reckon…

Hope your weekend was filled with the right levels of rest and excitement

Much love

Xxxxxxx

Comments (12)
user avatar
User #8569933 - 22 Jul 18 21:40
I’m curious Ian. Despite you being more dedicated to self generated content these days, do you still get sent scripts or would you still go for a casting that you truly believed would be a good role for you?
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 22:50
I really don't think I would. There's certain people I'd work "for" when they ask, but generally speaking I've no interest in going in for stuff now that I've nothing to do with.
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User #8773553 - 22 Jul 18 21:00
Finally caught up! Wow you’re a worker Ian. I love what you do on here. Thanks!
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 22:48
Thank you Richard. And likewise for your support. Kindness is appreciated
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User #8878350 - 24 Jul 18 17:36
I bet he never tired of being called Droopy Arse at school.
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 22:51
I'd contest that
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User #8878350 - 1 Aug 18 10:31
I can imagine Hacker pronouncing it that way, too.
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User #8569323 - 23 Jul 18 15:16
Coincidentally, I watched this episode the other night. I'm sure Barry would describe that as weird or spooky. I could easily see your character and Nick Mohammed's character as you and Barry.
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 22:51
Honestly can't really remember the details of the episode. I mainly remember the sausages.
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User #5558976 - 22 Jul 18 21:12
I just come back from seeing Hotel Artemis and I thought it was great. It was about 3/4 full and thankfully the audience were well behaved.
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User #9328083 - 22 Jul 18 21:22
My showing was really good too, except for some bloke down the front tapping on his keyboard and yelling 'i know who done this'
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 22:49
Hahaha did I mention I know Drew in real life?
Sneak Peak Of Merch Designs In Progress
Sneak Peak Of Merch Designs In Progressmore_vert
2018-07-21T11:51:31+00:00
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Sneak Peak Of Merch Designs In Progress 2018-07-21T11:51:31+00:00close

Hey friends

Whilst I sit and go through hours and hours of movie footage, increasingly pulling out my hair (honestly, the scene I'm presently dissecting is 40 minutes long and will be a definite DVD extra in its entirety, but I've got to get it so chopped down), you can pretend you are the MD of a company who is being shown projected merchandise for the new season.

When I say you can pretend you are the MD, I don't mean you can punch John Beck in the face and tell him it's rubbish, I mean you can rub your chin and look pensively at the designs.

These are the first designs, and many of them won't make the cut. Some of them definitely will, and there's gonna be loads more to follow to give maximum choice for the taste of anybody who is gonna get one. It'll give you an idea of how much work goes in (almost entirely on the part of John Beck, other than my occasional chipping in - or "flirting" as he calls it) to get something down to the stuff that eventually goes out. It's like a podcast recording but in T-Shirt form. I'll go into more detail on this soon, there's a lot more designs in holding, and he's still not done my "wonky tit" idea...

See what you think.

Have a lovely Saturday please, and try not to feel guilty about having a lazy time whilst I'm working my fingers to the bone.

Much love to you

xxx




Comments (41)
user avatar
User #9197726 - 21 Jul 18 12:38
Love them all, but particularly Barry’s Taxi and the one with both of you on it. Top work John Beck!
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 22:53
I reluctantly admit he's been brilliant at this
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User #8945186 - 21 Jul 18 14:21
Definitely Barry’s taxi.
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 22:54
Ok that's one for Barry's Taxi. There's a phrase that gives me flashbacks...
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User #8568640 - 23 Jul 18 20:37
I want all of these. Ian/John - they look awesome.
user avatar
ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 22:56
Mainly John. He puts the hours in without being asked. Perfect staff (except the harassment)
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User #355182 - 21 Jul 18 12:55
Me likey!
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 22:54
haha
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User #8726157 - 21 Jul 18 12:17
AH WOW! Those look brilliant. I absolutely NEED the Barry’s Taxi one.
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 22:53
Does anyone really NEED Barry's Taxi. Did anyone?
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User #4166211 - 21 Jul 18 17:48
I love the top three and the moon one. Perfect for me as I don't like wearing people's faces.
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 22:55
What's up with our faces? (please don't do a list)
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User #4166211 - 1 Aug 18 08:33
The only shirt I have with a face on it is a Count Arthur one I bought at a gig and that doesn't get worn. Basically I'm prone to hallucinations and knowing my luck my shirts will start talking to me if I wear faces.
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User #8888346 - 22 Jul 18 10:51
Looking great. If it's a decision between the 2 styles in the top photo, then I prefer the central pictures with Parapod in bigger letters. If you're planning to do both, then great! Like everyone else, I think Barry's Taxi one is great. Also love the moon one in the bottom photo.
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 22:56
The moon one is my favourite
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User #6349566 - 21 Jul 18 12:39
The bottom three, I'd have all of them. Beautiful designs, on the moon one especially. Awesome job from John Beck.
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 22:53
Marry him then (please)
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User #12008285 - 21 Jul 18 16:43
Really like all of them, but I would buy the Nessie one (just because I like nessie) but also the van in the moon one is fantastic & really like the green circle car with you two in the woods. Either way I’m excited for merch
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 22:55
It's a quandary isn't it?
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User #5558976 - 21 Jul 18 12:03
I’d better start saving!
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 22:52
You and me both!
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User #11363798 - 24 Jul 18 09:34
I really like the ones with the big moon (particularly the Loch Ness and UFO ones, lovely bit of design). Barry's Taxis is also great, and I like that it's on a grey shirt rather than black!
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 22:57
They'll all be available on multiple colours
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User #8568347 - 21 Jul 18 19:43
Love Barry's Taxi. Kind of dying for a wonky tit one though. 18 months of breastfeeding will do that to you...
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User #205697 - 22 Jul 18 10:18
Definitely want a "Wonky Tit" one!
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 22:55
Wish granted
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User #8823868 - 24 Jul 18 22:46
Gotta get me a bigfoot shirt. I can imagine that but with barrys head on the silhouette
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 22:57
Who's this Barry bloke?
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User #8823868 - 1 Aug 18 08:25
Idk but I believe he exist, just ask the guy who looks like Tom Selleck
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User #6766153 - 21 Jul 18 15:39
The 'Barry's Taxi', 'Barry Is Right' and Parapod Hearse logo are 100% up my street. Fantastic stuff! Also, I'm really looking forward to the Parapod Movie 8-disk Special Edition Blu-Ray Deluxe Box Set.
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 22:54
it won't fit on 8 discs...
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User #6766153 - 1 Aug 18 09:32
This news has filled me with such joy.
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User #8943869 - 21 Jul 18 12:04
I love the Barry's Ghost Taxis one! (That was my favourite badge from the set). *crosses everything they'll be available in fitted fat girl sizes*
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 22:52
I believe Red Bubble do all sizes so we'll all be ok
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User #4277505 - 21 Jul 18 17:14
Team Ian!
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 22:55
*bows*
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User #8577273 - 27 Jul 18 13:22
I see I'm going to be wearing Parapod T shirts exclusively from now on. They all look fantastic! Well done John & Ian xxx
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 22:57
It would be a lovely thing for somebody to replace their entire wardrobe with these! x
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User #4166211 - 21 Jul 18 22:35
Totally off topic but just listened to the latest Fubar (sorry for the lateness, really insane week) Bronagh Waugh was absolutely brilliant. If Nat's going to start booking people from Unforgotten any chance you can nudge her towards Nicola Walker?
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 22:56
I never nudge her anywhere - I get what I'm given generally
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User #4166211 - 1 Aug 18 08:35
Loved Fuzzbox this week.
Delayed Diversions
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2018-07-20T19:14:59+00:00
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I realised that there was very little on my patreon in the way of technological behind-the-scenes, so – as you can see from the picture above – I took it upon myself to dismantle the mod of my vape, in order to give you a look at the hidden workings of that. I think it’s very interesting that you can see the circuit board wiring of the…erm…flux capacitor, which of course, fires up the…tractor beam...? I won’t go into too many details about it, as it’s all pretty much self-explanatory from the picture above to those of you who are tech-smart, and there’s no need to thank me for committing such a selfless act of tech-sabotage to bring these things to you. The cynical amongst you may presume that, after spending two hours mowing all my lawns, I just sat down and elbowed it off the side table, but that sort of dismissiveness doesn’t warrant an answer. Why on earth would I do that? It would just break it irreparably. I’m not going to do that to a mod that I only bought a few weeks ago, am I? Shame on you for even suggesting it.

Safe to say I’m livid.

I actually had more to say yesterday, but was extra strict on myself in suppressing diversionary inclinations. Not one to be bound by self-subjugation though, I've worked out that I can beat the system by doing it in a separate post today. I’m known for sticking it to the man (me).

You’ll remember that I was discussing Saints' now-demolished original stadium, Knowsley Road, amongst all the stuff about the Steve Prescott Foundation and Johnny’s bowls tournament. I’ll reiterate quite how much I dislike that the stadium has simply disappeared now. I spent so many hours there in my life, going through every conceivable emotion. I saw Saints knocked out of the cup on countless occasions, throw away league positions, be humiliated by lower teams, as well as seeing them play champagne Rugby League, turn odds around and, eventually, be crowned champions there. It housed a rollercoaster of broken dreams and jackpot winnings. I really, really miss it.

It’s rather unsettling to have something so solid from your history no longer exist, and I don’t think it’s as simple as just letting these things go. Progress has no nostalgia, and will obliterate memories – no matter the importance – for a few quid. Not much we can do about that. I started thinking about quite how many things from my life don’t exist any more though…and it’s loads...

My primary school, still stands. I’m awaiting news on the blue plaque, which can’t be much longer now, but Burtonwood County Primary School is there, in all its glory. It looks pretty much identical too. I’ve obviously not been in it for millions of years, but I’m semi-confident that those stage curtains that served as a backdrop for the recently unearthed “Chu-Chi Face” video, will still be in place. Also still in place is the Oak Tree that I either flirted with, or fingered, Colette Taylor next to (depending on which idiot you believe). So we have one educational establishment still standing. And only one.

My senior school was called Selwyn Jones when I went there, and was split it into an upper and lower school. The lower school was an old grammar school, as generic an old fashioned school as you could imagine, with the beautiful gothic architecture that goes with it. I believe that’s all Barratt Houses now, not a trace of it in existence. The upper school, I was under the impression was still there, because it had its own swimming pool separate that you could still see from the road. I presumed, as the pool was still there, the school was still there. If The ParaPod has taught us anything (and I know of at least one person who learnt nothing from it), it’s never to presume, so particularly bad that I fell into that trap. Entirely rebuilt now that school is. The school stage where I did my first ever Blues Brothers Tribute act, as well as playing Rick in a directly lifted Young Ones play, no longer exists on this earth. In fact, strictly speaking, I did my first ever comedy gig on that stage, when the school had an OAP evening which I compered. Not to gloat about my charm on that stage but, like my Grandad at Ruskin Drive years later, I could have had my pick of the merry widows. Gone (as I’m sure they are too, sadly).

Which brings us on to university. Honestly, I went to university. I have a degree. With honours. And people say they’re no indicator of intelligence…

I went to Bretton Hall, which was part of Leeds University. Other alumni include The League Of Gentlemen, Jonathan Kerrigan (he was in my year), David Rappaport (never mentioned), Richard O’Brien (never mentioned), Colin Welland (never mentioned) and John Godber (they never shut up about him). I used to always pop in there whenever I was passing, long after I left. I found it melancholic, cathartic and oddly-inspiring. It was in the grounds of the Yorkshire Sculpture Park (which is worth a day to if you’re ever in the area), quiet and secluded. I knew it had closed down as a place of education (a year or so after they spent literally millions on building a new theatre there), but the last time I went I wasn’t even allowed to drive down to have a look at the old buildings. There were barriers and strict no trespassing signs, even though I was a student there once. I understand it for normal, boring members of the public, but how could this apply to me? Somebody who has restored credibility to the name?

It may very well have been demolished too (I wouldn’t know as I’M NOT ALLOWED THERE). I know that my halls of residence have gone, so all those shadows of the past where I’m kissing all the girls evaporated into the ether with them. I really do attach emotional memory to all these places, and writing this now makes me feel like I’m eighty and saying I remember when all this were fields. Is this normal for everyone of my age (24)? Has everything from everyone’s history just gone?

Of course, if I were a film, Dodds would be talking about “The Curse Of Ian Boldsworth”, about how everywhere I was educated has been brought to rubble. Haven’t even mentioned all the places I’ve worked in my comedy career yet...

The Torrington Arms in Finchley, where I put on my first professional comedy nights – now partly a Starbucks and partly a restaurant.

Loads of the studios I did TV Warm Up in. BBC TV Centre, ITV Studios, Teddington Studios, Riverside Studios. All of them gone.

Loads of gigs I did, all gone. In fairness, many of them actually were down the "The Curse Of Ian Boldsworth". I make no apology.

There’s more evidence for this curse than The Exorcist and Superman combined. Barry, if you’re reading this and still panicking about content for The ParaPod Special recording next week, I think I may have found some for you. I’m sure you’ve got your theories…

Anyway, that was all. They were my ignored diversions from yesterday. Apologies if you were expecting the designs for The ParaPod merch, they’ll be tomorrow (and they’re not all of them – I’m just gonna show you all the potential designs so far, as well as the ones I’ve already signed off). John Beck has still been very much present as I’ve been writing this, as he’s not stopped texting the entire time, which is very unusual for him (that was sarcastic).

As a little treat, below is the last page of messages that have gone back and forth between us. I’m sure you’ll agree that they’re very productive.

Hope you’re settled and ready for a lovely weekend ahead

Whatever love you need is coming your way (no John)

Xxxxxx


Comments (14)
user avatar
User #8878350 - 20 Jul 18 19:58
Only two of my five places of education are still standing. It's a very unsettling thing. To make it even more weird, I sometimes go on Google maps, street view, and click back through previous years to see them reappear.
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 22:59
My education dramatically pre-dates google maps
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User #8878350 - 1 Aug 18 10:19
Same here, but one of them was only demolished about five years ago. Unless you're saying they knocked yours down as soon as you left. I'd probably take that personally.
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User #8614872 - 20 Jul 18 19:22
Apologies if my post seems very vape centric - I'm having a *bad* few weeks so I'm sticking to what I know rather than opining on other artistic endeavours. Much love, Raitheroo.
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 22:59
You just be
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User #8614872 - 20 Jul 18 19:20
'Aaah, tits' in knocking the mod over - I dare say take it into any brick 'n' mortar vape shop and they can recommend a replacement. If you're in the Leeds area over the weekend you can have my 'big mod' for a while, I don't use it. Otherwise, I'm sure you have an idea of what you need. And if you don't, just name the tank you use, and the name of the mod, and if no-one else can, i can recommend a replacement.
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User #8614872 - 20 Jul 18 19:21
Oh, and if you're passing through scarborough, I know of a vape shop that was formerly a component electronics shop that can almost certainly repair it ;)
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User #460948 - 21 Jul 18 00:02
It seems that every time there's a great mod there's some fundamental problem that crops up eventually, my Tesla Steampunk Nano still works and is one of my favorites but the battery door doesn't stay on anymore without tape because of a totally idiotic tiny design decision. Rather than adding touch screens, bluetooth and voice functions I'd much rather a £60 or so mod that was sold on how durable it is. I've gone through at least 10 different ones since I quit the cigss and the only one still working exactly as it should is the massive old £100 iPV3 which was my first proper mod. Problem there is the screws on the battery door are such a pain in the arse so I've found myself once again looking for a new dual battery mod. Close to buying the Smoant Cylon but I'm also considering paying over the odds in a shop rather than online just so I can easily take it back if/when it goes wrong.
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User #8614872 - 21 Jul 18 10:23
I've got a VooPoo Too (yes, I know, what a name) and I quite like it. It replaced a very raggedy RX200 that I had used for ages, but I've found that after five years of going from mouth to lung, to direct lung, to drippers, to RDTAs, and going from 18mg to 6mg to 3mg....I'm happiest with the occasional bit of dripping at 3mg, and 99% of my vape is on a little mouth to lung device (Endura T20) at 18mg. I tend to use it less than I did at 6mg as I get enough nic from it. I was quite interested in the 50mg JUUL devices, but although they're bringing them to the UK, they're stuck to 20mg so ho hum on that front. But yeah, do find a decent brick and mortar shop, ideally a tech oriented one - my old local in Scarbs, as I say, used to be a component electrical shop, so if you bust your mod, he can normally fix it - broken USB connectors, damaged surface mount components - bread and butter to him. And he does decent coffee too....
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User #460948 - 23 Jul 18 20:57
I'd seen those Voopoo devices but the name just put me off completely! I've ordered a Geekvape Aegis Legend, lots of reviews testing the claims of it being waterproof, dropping it onto concrete etc. and it still working so it sounds like exactly what I'm after. The problem with my local vape shops is the insane mark up, £60 for the mech mod version of the Vandy Vape squonker is just ridiculous. Along with that they give totally wrong advice to people. They're selling short-fills of lots of different flavours but when I asked about steeping he said it wasn't required and nobody had ever complained! I mean they almost certainly know that with certain flavours it 100% is required or they'll taste like absolute crap, fruit flavours are usually OK but something like custard I wouldn't vape until at least 3 weeks after I'd mixed it. It's odd that ebay still has lots of listings for proper 72mg nicotine liquid, so much better than relying on those stupid little 10ml shots so I've stocked up. To be fair to the shop they sell things like Carnival by Wick 3 bottles for a fiver so for £20 I get 120ml which isn't bad. One thing I'd really like to know is if the TPD took into consideration the huge amount of additional rubbish generated by forcing people to use tiny 10ml bottles all packaged in cardboard. If anything the TPD just encouraged people to make their own with 72mg liquid which is a hell of a lot more dangerous than 18mg! I want to try some of the higher strength nicotine salt liquids but they're all far too high PG, any more than 70VG/30PG and my face breaks out in a rash that doesn't go away for about a week afterwards. Took me nearly a year to realise that's what was causing it.
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 22:58
I don't know what any of you are banging on about x
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User #8614872 - 31 Jul 18 22:59
Vape life, or something.
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User #4166211 - 20 Jul 18 20:32
If Barry's in a panic over content does this mean that story of the ghost of a 7ft circus ringmaster I sent him on Twitter might make a Parapod appearance? On a side note, did you ever hear that show where the League of Gentlemen spent the night in the Ram Inn ghost hunting? Philadelphia had loads of haunted locations. They used to do Halloween ghost walks through Eastern State prison, genuinely unsettling.
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 22:59
I heard about the LOG show but avoided it in planning
JV Crown Green Bowls Challenge
JV Crown Green Bowls Challengemore_vert
2018-07-19T14:31:32+00:00
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A few weeks ago I paid a visit to Ruskin Drive sports facility in St Helens. I’m a swine for making emotional links to things, and feeling wistful as a result, and Ruskin Drive has two links to me, one of which is tenuous at best.

The first one is that, after my Grandma died, my Grandad used to go to a widows social club sort of thing that was based there. I say he went there, he had to be dragged there really, as the last thing he wanted was to be surrounded by a load of widowed ladies who were ready to move on to pastures new. My Grandad never had any interest in moving on, and didn’t do, but he was proper eye candy for those ladies, and was essentially having to bat them off. For all his huffing about that, the companionship was secretly a nice thing for him, and his reluctance to go became increasingly less convincing as time went on.

The other link – the tenuous one – is that an amateur Rugby League team that I used to play for, Pilks Recs, now play their home games there. I never set foot on that pitch personally, as the team played in a totally different location when I were a lad, but I think it’s relatively common to always support your past teams, if only on an emotive level. I don’t go and watch them or anything, but I tend to take note of their results if I happen to notice them in the Rugby League papers or magazines.

I tell you all this, not as a potential autobiography chapter, but to set the scene that I was feeling rather open to nostalgic smiles and cares. I’ll add the reason that I was actually there in the first place, and you’ll see how the day ended up being a kickstart for me to wish to do more. I was meeting a guy called Bernard Platt, who is the official photographer for my team St Helens. I’ve known about Platty for years, as a supporter of the club, but only met him a couple of years ago, when he was kind enough to take some photos of myself and Johnny Vegas, to accompany an interview I’d done with him for Forty20 Magazine. He refused payment incidentally. As he snapped away, I found myself bizzarely starstruck at being photographed by this chap who had captured moments of bliss and agony from my life on the pitch(es) of Saints. As we all chatted between locations, Bernard told Johnny that he had a huge pano-shot of Saints old ground, Knowsley Road, and would he like it. There’s an excellent chance that Johnny didn’t actually know what Knowsely Road was, given the levels of his rugby league knowledge, and he immediately nodded to me and told Bernard that I’d love it. Bernard said I was welcome to have it.

It was all a bit "of the moment", as myself and Johnny had discussed Knowsley Road at length in the interview, and mainly my refusal to accept its demolition as anything other than culturally criminal. It was an old ground, that was often said to be “falling to pieces” (it really wasn’t – it was in poor repair, but it wasn’t falling to pieces) and momentum grew with support and management to set a plan into motion to obtain a state-of-the-art new stadium, which – spoiler alert, see above – now exists and struggles to come close to achieving the atmosphere of the old ground. Knowsley Road is long gone now, replaced with identikit, quick-build houses, which I’d put money actually are falling to pieces by now. I’ve no proof of this, it’s just I once lived in one of those quick-build places, and it would have been sturdier in Lego.

Anyway, I was at Ruskin Drive to meet Bernard so that I could finally get this long spoken about pano of a place that I loved with all my heart, and miss every single time I go to a match. He gave me the picture, which is stunning and heartbreaking in its ultra high resolution (that’s it framed up in my living room in the header image). If I stand close enough to it, I feel a bit dizzy from seeing the now-disappeared sight looking so real and present. I complimented Bernard on his work and we started reminiscing about the old ground, both expressing the same sadness about its demise. I said how evocative the picture was, and the conversation moved on to a thing Bernard does in St Helens where he takes old photos and videos to a group of old folk with dementia, and they talk about the past. I’m sure this is a common thing nowadays, and I’ve seen news reports of other Rugby League clubs doing a similar community service, where the reminders unlock memories and, sometimes only very briefly, these burdened souls have a bit of clarity again. I told Bernard I’d be totally up for coming to some of these meetings, as I’ve a huge amount of Saints memorabilia that I’d be happy to share. Hundreds of old programmes and newspaper cuttings and that sort of thing. My Grandad, who we know was very present in my mind at this point, went the same way in his latter years, and it seemed a bit pointed that myself and Bernard should end up chatting about this stuff. I didn’t have to think twice about getting involved, and that’s on the way.

(That's a picture that Bernard Platt took from the pitch of myself and my mum watching a game. You'll notice that my mum is not following the game, but instead eating a sandwich. She was livid with this picture.)

So, I’m in a charitable mood, particularly around my club and its history, which leads us on to the next thing I’ve happily agreed to do. The more eagle-eyed of you will have noticed the questions in the recent Johnny Vegas book giveaway on here, about the Crown Green Bowls challenge that Johnny (Bev) organises. In a rather heartwarming culmination of community spirit, this event is going to be live streamed on the Steve Prescott Foundation facebook page, as it happens, by a company run by Karl Rooney.

Karl is a familiar face to those who watch Super League on Sky Sports, as he’s a well-known Saints supporter who sometimes struggles to contain his emotions whilst being a touchline cameraman in big games involving Saints. He’s one of the nicest souls you could ever wish to meet, and another one that I oddly got starstruck around when he was working as a camera operator on Not Going Out, back when I did the warm up for it. He’s set up his own production company, to live stream events, and they are doing this one. So we have Karl (who I know), Johnny (who I know) and Bev (who I know), all instrumental in this event. Which means they are duty bound to ask me to host the live stream, which I’ve now agreed to, and am obviously periodically panicking about. I’ve sorted Hacker T Dog to come down and help already, and he’s added to a phenomenal participant list which you can see on the poster below.

It’s a six hour broadcast (not a typo – SIX), and I’m really hoping that I only feel out of my depth for the first one. These community based charity projects should have a team feel to them, right? Everyone will help me surely? WHAT DO I SAY???? Bev is already regularly telling me that “it’s family-friendly, Ian”. I think she thinks she’s being subtle…

I’m delighted to be doing it though. Like, I really am. If you click “Steve Prescott” in the tags, you’ll find when I wrote about this charity before, and many of you on here have donated to it by proxy when I shoved some patreon cash the way of Bev’s forthcoming climb to Everest base camp. It’s one of those charities where I feel emotionally invested, which is gonna inspire loyalty, and I genuinely feel a pride at being in some way affiliated to them.

Anyway, as you can see, the event in on the 12th August at Ruskin Sports Village (Happy birthday John Beck too), and you will also see that it is donation on entry. The main thing we’re looking for is support, be that in attendance or in promotion, so it would be ace if those of you on social media could give it a push, and those of you who live close enough would come down for the day. Do you not feel like it’ll be great? Have a look at the poster. That’ll be great. You can even bid on twitter to partner one of the celebrities in the tournament (@StevePrescott1).

And if I get chucked out for being inappropriate in my presenting we could just go the pub or something. I mean, given that guest list, I don’t even know why it’s me that Bev is worried about…

Have a fantastic rest of your Thursday please. I’m gonna go do some more of this art commission (I’ve finally got the Wacom tablet out now, so am starting the digital bit), and then barricade myself in for the Saints v Wigan derby match on Sky tonight. There’s an equal chance of me being elated or desolate by tomorrow…

Much love

Xxxx


Comments (6)
user avatar
User #8945186 - 19 Jul 18 15:39
I still have my “woods” (that’s what us old professionals call bowls) your more than welcome to borrow them.
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 23:01
Ha - I'm not allowed on the pitch (that's what us former RL greats call the Green)
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User #205697 - 19 Jul 18 15:13
Ooh, [whatever that word is that means a timely coincidence which I can’t remember], I’m in Manchester for a family do on the 11th; will have to investigate popping over on the train.
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User #8878350 - 20 Jul 18 17:52
Serendipity?
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User #205697 - 20 Jul 18 18:41
That’s the one!
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 23:00
It'll be a great day, I assure you
Cabin Fever Podcast
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2018-07-18T22:43:17+00:00
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Due to an inexplicable nap that went on for ages, here is a Cabin Fever Podcast that fills you nicely in on what's been going on since last we encountered each other.

I know you'll already be stressed that there isn't going to be a song again, but that stress is unfounded as the is one and half songs on it, so don't you feel silly for worrying now?

Incoming news tomorrow about a rare sort-of-live-appearance from me on the horizon, and there's plenty of news in this here podcast if you can bear it.

Hope you've had a lovely Wednesday and that all is safe and well

Biggest love

xxxx

Comments (20)
user avatar
User #244741 - 19 Jul 18 10:58
I would absolutely buy a t-shirt, I'd also love a mug if that's ever on the cards again. Also very excited about a new Parapod special as I've been re-listening back to the Parapod from the beginning and it remains excellent.
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 23:04
Can't guarantee Mugs, but the shirts are on the way...
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User #8888346 - 19 Jul 18 10:17
I'm so happy you are recording the special soon, and want to press on with the new podcast with Barry. Cannot wait. In terms of the Merch, I'd be very interested in it. I'd love a Parapod t-shirt or something. With your love of collecting and buying Merch, it would be in very safe hands that you would release some really quality products. I'm sure they would sell well.
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 23:04
God I'm late in replying to this. Seems pointless now. But hello!
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User #8888346 - 19 Jul 18 13:32
What about a T-Shirt of a cartoon Barry, in a costume, being bummed by Bigfoot? With Ian pointing and laughing, and Barry looking shocked.
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 23:05
I can assure you that none of our shirts will feature a sexual assault. Never thought I'd have to say that...
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User #4166211 - 19 Jul 18 00:09
Red Bubble are great. Just got a Wicker Man t-shirt from them. The good thing is if you pull some Parapod quotes you could literally just have the text on the t-shirt so you don't have to spend a lot of time on design. As for the podcasts, you and Barry know from the reception you get on here for the phone chats that anything you record together will be eagerly snapped up. So really you have been recording for an audience, just not on a topic. I'd be keen on you doing something like I've Never Seen Star Wars, where you tackle something new Barry asks you to do and Barry does the same, then record your reactions. I know that probably doesn't have longevity, but I want you to make him sit through King Lear. Really looking forward to the Parapod special. I miss that being a regular thing in my life and there's so much Barry didn't cover, time slips in Liverpool for one.
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 23:02
As you'll know by now, pulling quotes as just text was never gonna be the option. No shyness over hard work this end (John Beck did all the work)
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User #11302098 - 19 Jul 18 10:49
Would DEFINITELY buy a tshirt. No question.
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 23:04
And that is a legally binding contract.
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User #8702254 - 19 Jul 18 14:39
Great news about the merch. If you get any say in it, can you please try to sell shirts for larger blokes? Fed up with shops only going up to xl...
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 23:06
Red Bubble do all sizes, fear not. I buy shirts from there all the time at any rate...
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User #4166211 - 19 Jul 18 11:55
I've been trying to think of what quote I'd absolutely want and there's just so many. But any chance of a "I'm not a torturer..." shirt and "Closest thing to the devil"? I think I mentioned it before but I think a poster of The Crying Boy with Barry's face would be great.
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 23:05
all noted sir
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User #8568119 - 19 Jul 18 11:30
YES to Merch YES to a Parapod special YES to a new podcast with Barry. Please and thank you. Oh and the singing was excelkent as usual. ?
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 23:05
Now that just sounded sarcastic about the singing...
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User #5258333 - 19 Jul 18 01:46
I think releasing more content publicly is a must. Just some select posts or content from here perhaps? It will also have the benefit of getting more people signed up here. Also when it comes to finding Parapod quotes for merch I am sure we as a community could do this to save you the hassle/time. I am sure many of us already re listen to it anyway so it would be very little effort.
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 23:02
Yet John Beck found all the quotes on his own (I did some)
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User #249737 - 19 Jul 18 04:44
The thing you have to realize is that a lot of people are tuning in because they find the two of you funny. Yeah, there are going to be people who are salty about you working on other, non-parapod things. That's always going to be the case. But you know what? Fuck 'em. (Mostly). You work on what you want to, and your core base-- the core base that comes because they like listening to the both of you banter-- that's going to stay. "Oh, another Barry & Ian thing? I'll at least check it out!". Don't let those worries hold you back, though they are important to still keep in mind when assessing what audience you'll have and where you'll have to grow from. But so long as it's the two of you, you have enough of a cult of personality among your fanbase that I think you'll retain a sizable portion of listeners. Oh, and if you ever want to work on music together... We can totally do that. Just saying. And I'm not asleep. It's 5PM in New Zealand. And I need to watch a new unreleased dub of an anime for work.
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 23:03
All my worries tend to be fleeting - fear not!
This Is Just A Tribute...
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2018-07-17T19:44:14+00:00
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Hello then

Bit of a thoughtful one today, but before I begin the sermon, I have spotted a gap in the art market that would massively help me in the commission I’m currently doing. You know those Manikkin things (that’s not me being thick, they do spell it like that…or it might be two n’s and one k…maybe I am being thick), those dolls that look a bit like crash test dummies that you can pose and draw form from? I have one of those, which is all well and good, but in my present project I'm drawing children a lot, and there appears to be no such thing as a child one. There’s smaller ones, but children aren’t just scaled down adults, they have different proportions. Incidentally, if this has triggered some in-built patreon policing program, please keep in mind at appeal that I was on about an art thing. I’m sure I’ve seen them before, but a google shopping search only brought back one result in America or something. How is it not a thing?

Well, anyhow, I’ve been ploughing on with the art commission regardless, and just altering proportions. I also spent a few hours today rather manically taking all my frames to pieces so that I could spray the white mounts black. I’ve done an entire can of spray paint on it in the last two hours. It’s a good job that can is now empty, because goodness knows where that would have ended. A black front door possibly. I can totally see how doing graffiti could get moreish.

I’ve taken a break now though, and am sat in the garden on an art ban for an hour, so I can catch up with you (it’s also been the first day in weeks that I’ve not felt worse from heat in the garden, there was even twenty seconds of rain when I was out earlier – on the one solitary day I didn’t even take a coat). Anyway, stop making me interrupt myself, let me tell you what I’ve been thinking about…

A comment arrived today on the patreon post from 14th July (the podcast where Dodds was showing off about his new mountain). Oh, hold on, very quick diversion, I am aware that I’ve not been as “on it” with replying to comments of late. I’m working through them, and I promise that I will reply to every single one. I think I might do that tonight actually. I’ll make an effort to do it straight after I post this. So, this comment was from Kitsunelaine, and contained a link in it to a music track. It’s made both myself and Barry howl today, and I suspect it would make you howl too if you went and had a listen (which you really must do when you’re done here). It basically sampled something Barry said on the podcast, an innocuous little phrase (which I agree, was incredibly melodic) and put it to a backing track. Now, I’ve no idea if this only takes two minutes to do, but I feel like it takes longer. I know there’s apps and things where you can just drop a sound file in, which does the rest for you, but I choose to believe that this wasn’t done that way.

In addition to this, you may have noticed on Twitter (or in the “Community” section on this page) recently, that Billy Treacy has made a couple of videos of Lego animations using clips from The ParaPod. They’re also really excellent. Expertly executed, even with the high risk of upsetting his existing subscribers who prefer it when he is doing Doctor Who Lego clips (you’re actually meant to type Lego as LEGO, but I deliberately don’t do it because it properly annoys my brother). Likewise, there was a recent animation clip from David North in the community section on here, a short chupacabra clip, which looks incredible. There’ve been loads of these things since The ParaPod got a foothold with a fanbase. Drawings, music, videos, loads.

From the inside, as somebody who oversees and co-creates the official brand content (did anybody ever commit a more sickening sentence to type?), this stuff has a very odd effect. It’s not a bad thing, on any level, but there’s something hugely odd in seeing it, which I’m going to attempt to explain to you.

On The ParaPod Movie, as I've definitely told you before, there are people that are very directly involved, like myself and Simon the editor, and…well that’s more or less it. Then there is a support team around that, who kind of add things as and when. There’s Matt who’s doing the titles, Taylor who does our VFX, Alan who does the sound design (I think it’s Alan, something like that, it’s got an A and an N it it…could be Andrew….yeah there’s a D in it…so it can’t be Alan…oh, who knows...), and they all do – what seem to me – little bits which contribute something to the whole. Now, they aren’t “little bits” at all, in reality. They’re massive things that require technical expertise beyond anything that I’ll ever be arsed to attempt to learn, but I suggest the work, that comes back through on emails, and I just instruct where it's to be placed. Every single time, I have a moment of eye-widening. I can specifically remember getting some music from …Alan(?)… that was The ParaPod theme in kind of bold chords without the melody. That’s not been heard by anyone outside of production yet, but it's already been allocated a place in the edit and serves the film from a mood point of view exquisitely.

Here’s what it is…it sounds real.

I should explain what I mean by that too, shouldn’t I?

Even if I die tomorrow (or today) and never see this final film, the process so far - for all its many, many stresses - has provided me with more moments of astonishment than any other project I’ve ever been a part of. It still feels weirdly unreal, to be this far ahead from that moment outside East Drive shooting a pilot, when I went mad and decided that we could make a film, whilst Barry looked at me as if I had just suggested we should join ISIS. It didn’t seem like a real suggestion at the time, and it regularly doesn’t feel like a real film in production, because that feeling of it being such an impossibility has clearly lingered somewhere in my psychy. When I get work from true professionals though, there’s a welcome reality. The titles are proper titles, the VFX is proper VFX, the sound design is proper sound design. Same goes for the editing. Same goes for the camera work. Even myself and Barry more-or-less get away with looking like we belong in some scenes. Those moments of getting real stuff are brilliant. Surreal, but brilliant.

So, as if you don’t know where I’m going with this, that’s the exact same feeling that I get when people take it upon themselves to create (and I shudder to phrase it this way) "fan art". In a sense, it’s even more impressive because I don’t see it coming, I just see the result at the end, but you really feel a strange emotion when you know that somebody has been working away on re-appropriating a thing you did ages ago, into a new format. I often have the thought that when either myself or Dodds said whatever, we had no clue what that phrase’s potential was, beyond the work it originally appeared in. Dodds couldn’t have predicted that a random sentence he said in a conversation would end up sampled in a dance track today. How brilliant is that?

Do keep them coming if you're that way inclined. I really love the stuff that people have made around the various projects I’ve helmed, and we’ll always push them far and wide. It’s a really cool thing. Genuinely.

I deliberately didn’t mention John Beck’s poster work, because I knew that he would be clutching his pearls as everyone else got complimented… We all know his poster work has been exceptiona…DANNY! THAT’S THE SOUND BLOKE! DANNY!

I think it’s Danny anyway…doubting myself now...

Go listen to that sample track.

Hope your day has been like a dream come true

All the love

xxxxx

Comments (15)
user avatar
User #3278718 - 18 Jul 18 14:22
I can’t find the link to the Barry song on the 14th July post you mention... can anyone point me in the right direction please?
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User #8987927 - 18 Jul 18 15:54
Me neither! :(
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User #5185063 - 18 Jul 18 17:36
So time is very weird for me but it's in the comments of the July 15th post "Dodds on the Phone Podcast" at the very bottom. Barry Replied "hahaha" and Bundey asked to "make it [his] ringtone" I would post the link again but I don't know the edicate on that sort of thing.
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ianboldsworth - 18 Jul 18 22:58
https://dbr.ee/OscD apologies I think I wrote the wrong date...
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User #8568029 - 17 Jul 18 20:50
I'll have you know I did not clutch my pearls reading about all those lovely people. Right up until the sentence "because I knew that he would be clutching his pearls". Then I did, and gasped like a startled old lady. But I'll never admit that to you. Especially here x
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ianboldsworth - 18 Jul 18 22:56
hahaha such a pearl grabber Kenneth x
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User #4166211 - 17 Jul 18 20:07
"I wanted a small dummy model of a child because I'm drawing them a lot, your honour."
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ianboldsworth - 18 Jul 18 22:56
They'd understand
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User #8895458 - 29 Jul 18 15:41
Must not bite, must note bite
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 23:10
What do you mean? About the leggo?
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User #8960051 - 17 Jul 18 23:38
If you can only find one in ‘Merica then please send me the link and it will be my pleasure to ship one to you!
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User #9436806 - 18 Jul 18 18:31
I’m in the states tomorrow. I could keep an eye out for you too Ian.
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ianboldsworth - 18 Jul 18 22:57
Appreciate the offer from both. I managed to find one on a site that did free UK shipping so hopefully that'll be successful. Thank you though!
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User #5258333 - 17 Jul 18 23:46
Don't forget Barry did already join ISIS.
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ianboldsworth - 18 Jul 18 22:57
haha of course he did. He's like a ninja
Take Me On
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2018-07-16T15:51:27+00:00
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Hello there

You may be presuming I am writing this quickly between the live Fubar show and the pre-record at six, but as you can see from the video above that is not why my head is elsewhere. I really don't know what's happened, but for today at least I feel entirely justified in getting the iPhoneX. Admittedly, that technical capability is probably linked to only that song, and I've done that now, but making it very nearly made me late for my train this morning and anything that does that has gotta be worth me paying an extra twenty quid a month on my contract.

Also, I'm a slightly calmer boy today than I was yesterday, which is saying something when I've spent the last two hours with my producer, in addition to the fact that I spiralled dramatically in the house yester-eve whilst frantically coming to the conclusion that I had now looked everywhere for the missing hearse keys. The only thing keeping me from a full blown meltdown was the possibility that they may be in the garage, as that was the only place I'd not properly looked. Didn't have time to look this morning as I had to get the train (after making that video), and when I parked up at the station I opened my glove box to get the stereo holder out.

(there was gonna be a photo of them here, but the wifi in the pub below Fubar is having none of uploading that).

I mean, obviously they were there. Why would the keys for the hearse not be in my actual car's glove box? That makes perfect sense. That's where I'd need the keys for a totally different vehicle the most. (They're actually there from that time that I lost my house keys that I told you about, and it has not gone unnoticed that my patreon page now contains two posts about me losing keys, which none of us would have predicted at the start. Never let it be said that I've lost my ability to surprise).

So there we are. At least I didn't stay up pretty much all night in an increasingly agitated mood in vain. That's the sort of thing that could ruin my radio show because I'm over tired, so it's good that it was completely warranted huh?

Hope you are all having the loveliest of days whilst I'm trapped in London. I'm not bitter and lonesome in the slightest.

Much love to you though

xxx




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Comments (7)
user avatar
User #9298857 - 16 Jul 18 16:11
Tremendously talented, and yes, it looks worth another £20 a month on the contract. That's what Barry could earn for a day's literal shit shovelling.
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User #9436806 - 16 Jul 18 16:12
Great show Ian. And I’m properly chuffed to have made you laugh (unless that was more of your acting). Man, I’m getting stressed about the car keys now... have you looked in the coat you were using when you last drove it?
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ianboldsworth - 18 Jul 18 22:59
Honestly was properly holding an inappropriate laugh back in that interview. Keys found fear not.
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User #12527531 - 28 Jul 18 08:28
The reveal made me incredibly happy
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ianboldsworth - 31 Jul 18 23:11
Me too - I was actually there!
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User #8987927 - 16 Jul 18 17:32
Nice! Is that a special IPhone X mode thing?
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ianboldsworth - 18 Jul 18 22:59
It's an app called Clips that was pre-loaded. I'm guessing its software specifically for the X yep. Loads of fun things on it.
The Heat Is On
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2018-07-15T17:05:44+00:00
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Hello there

More than a touch agitated today, with a blanket of overwhelmedness, so apologies if this ends up being a stressful post. You have my full backing if you're having a nice Sunday and should wish to skip on by. I think there’s a decent chance it’s the heat, but I’ve been spinning around the house in a right mood for a couple of days.

So, I have a question. If you were me, and you had, say, a hearse on your drive, right? And the hearse has almost certainly got a flat battery, and is untaxed, with non-working brakes, and just dusty and old, to the point where you take it fully off the road, okay?

You got this all so far? You’re imagining you’re in that position? Don’t forget, you have to think you are me in this, otherwise it won’t be any help...

So you’ve done all that, and naturally you would just take the keys off your keyring, rather than be carrying them around all the time, wouldn’t you? Particularly when you have a history of dropping keys in car parks, as you go about your normal business. My question is… where would you have put those keys? One would presume somewhere safe, but where would that be? Because I’m damned if I can remember, and anywhere that would be considered “safe” has been checked.

It’s not like I was gonna take it out for a spin or anything, as I say it surely has a dead battery after being left languishing for so long. I was actually just needing to get something out of the back of it, but the keys have just gone. Properly stressed that maybe I’d left them on the side on top of junk mail, and then thrown junk mail onto the top of them too, and then chucked the whole lot out at some point. Or that the postman has stolen them. Or they're just still inside the hearse. I mean, Who owns a hearse and forgets where they’ve put the key to it??? Just me. I bet there's never been a funeral delayed whilst an usher checks all their pockets for the twentieth time.

On top of a million other things, it’s got my head all twisted up horribly. I think the hearse on the drive has been an underlying, dormant stress for me since it arrived in the first place, because there's no clue from anywhere else on this movie when it's going to be gone off my drive. Just seems to be taken as read, by all other departments of production, that as long as it isn’t on their drive, it isn’t an issue. I’d happily call one of those places that buys cars regardless of condition, and have it just taken away, but there’s also that niggling feeling that it could be worth a lot of money one day.

Like, imagine if this movie had one of those flash-moments where it just does disproportionally well. That really is a one in a million chance for any film, but that also does happen. Low budget films sometimes capture imagination in the most unpredictable way, and then all the stories land about Alec Guinness agreeing to work for a percentage point rather than a wage, and everyone is banging on about how forward thinking that was. This isn’t me being delusional by the way, this is me trying to make sure all bases are covered for every eventuality. Of course, should such a thing occur, the fact it has no key will probably drop the worth of the hearse down by ten grand, but it’d still auction at a million or something. This is the one and only potential outcome that's stopping my going outside right now, smashing a window to get the thing I need, and then pouring petrol into it and blazing it to oblivion.

So there’s been a couple of days of that, as well as roaming from room to room trying to find a cold spot. I realised earlier that I’d not left the house for three days (garden accepted), so went and bought some food from the garage, and had that moment of regret that I hadn’t remembered my car aircon. That was a cold spot that has been readily available to me, despite me not realising. It made me feel double-stupid about the half hour I spent in the middle of the night, lay in bed, trying to calculate if I'd fit in the fridge if I took everything else out of it.

I presume my grouchy mood is starting to come across, yeah?

Add into the mix of this, that I’ve been going around the house trying to put pictures up in different places, and shifting a few things around (you already know about me trapping myself in the office, but I fell off some step ladders and smacked my knee on the sharp corner bit of the coffee table earlier too, which made me cry), and you may see why my commission art work, of drawing pleasant, cartoon-like, happy images, has felt like more of a chore than usual today.

I still got a fair bit of it sketched out. There’s only eight or nine images to do, and the main hassle was actually designing the characters in the first place, which I’m fairly certain I’ve got locked down and cleared now. I’d show you, but I’ve not checked with the company I’m doing the work for if that would be alright, so I won’t risk it till I have. It’s hugely incongruous that somebody in the mood I am today is being tasked with such easy-on-the-eye artwork, that’s meant to instill a warm feeling in the viewer. At any given time I'm at risk of tearing up the pages and eating them (or at least scribbling through to the next page). I’ve not gotten to the stage of starting transferring them to a digital drawing yet, so the material cost incurred in any flip-out is kept to a minimum for the moment. I’d normally do even the sketching out stage digitally, but I think I’ve gotten myself into a very hands-on way of working of late, possibly because of the other artwork I’ve been plodding through, so it’s felt more productive to hand-sketch in ink, even though this drags out the time scale.

My plan is to have a quick sleep now, maybe an hour so that when I wake it will be a bit cooler (it won’t, will it?) and I can drink something cold whilst persevering with the sketches for the evening. In an ideal world I’d like to go do it in the garden, so if there’s anybody out there who has any sway with the weather, I’d appreciate you getting the atmosphere to a bearable place for that, as opposed to the inhabitable baking oven that my garden presently is. It’s high risk this nap, as if it goes overtime I’m really messing myself up for my early start to travel down to Fubar tomorrow, but there’s no harm in living dangerously from time to time (see earlier mention of stepladders).

Sorry for being a lonesome grumper. It’ll pass.

Hope your weekend is happy and contented

Much love all round

xxxxx

Comments (19)
user avatar
User #8977362 - 15 Jul 18 20:43
when I sold my Scorpio estate for scrap,I still got 250 quids for it when they picked it up on the hiab.If yours is a 2.3 litre I have a pair of coilpacks for one of those..
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ianboldsworth - 18 Jul 18 23:04
I don't even know what a coil pack is. Pretty sure it is 2.3 though...maybe 2.5... honestly can't remember
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User #11021412 - 16 Jul 18 16:07
My dad once put his car keys in a safe place that turned out to be the freezer. Have you checked the freezer?
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ianboldsworth - 18 Jul 18 23:07
I actually hadn't but they were in the glove box of my real car. I honestly would have checked the freezer if I'd seen this message before finding them though!
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User #4166211 - 15 Jul 18 17:43
If I had a hearse I wouldn't part with it. Think of all the fun you could have. You could get a flower wreath that says Gaunt and then park outside his house in the dead of night. You could get a coffin for the back, order take-out to your house in the middle of the woods and when the driver arrives you could rise out of the coffin to terrify them. You could advertise on a swingers site for people who want to have sex in a hearse then make a documentary about the fetish. You could start a rival funeral director business and have an 80s movie-esque war with the local undertaker who doesn't want you stealing his business. So many ideas.
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ianboldsworth - 18 Jul 18 23:02
Can't do a solitary one of these things as it's not road worthy and all the novelty wore off sooooo quickly. Also got a coffin with it. Genuinely. It's currently round the side in my garden.
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User #2714182 - 16 Jul 18 03:00
Maybe the key's with the rest of your movie stuff. (I'm imagining a large cardboard box with 'ParaPod Movie' scrawled on the side in black marker, and it's full of papers and tapes and props and stuff, and also the hearse key is in there. But this could be based on how I organise things, so feel free to ignore.) Other than that I'd just say "have you checked by the front door?" I don't even know what I mean when I say that to people but more often than not it gets results, so I guess that's just where things end up. (Unless Barry's put it down the back of the sofa as a treat for future you.)
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ianboldsworth - 18 Jul 18 23:06
They turned up in the glove box of my real car. And you're close on the box... it's actually boxes...lots and lots of boxes. Obviously stored at my house...
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User #8726157 - 15 Jul 18 19:50
Nothing funny to say. But if I were you I’d have popped the keys in that jacket/those heavy trousers you haven’t worn for a few weeks because it’s UNBEARABLY HOT. If not, crack off the windscreen wipers and wingmirrors and burn the rest: when the film gets ridiculously famous those parts will probably be more valuable than the whole hearse because the actual thing has gone, right...? Xx
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ianboldsworth - 18 Jul 18 23:03
This is an excellent plan. Just keep a few bits from it as the "last surviving pieces" like Jabba The Hutt's eyes in the Lucasfilm archives. x
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User #8878350 - 16 Jul 18 10:03
I'd recommend a portable air conditioner (a proper one, not an "air cooler" - they are useless). I know there are not that many days when we need them, but I bought mine over ten years ago for £300 and it's probably the best value thing I've ever spent money on. Days like these, it's literally life changing.
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ianboldsworth - 18 Jul 18 23:06
Life changing because they quadruple your leccy bill though?
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User #8878350 - 19 Jul 18 18:52
Haha, it's not that bad. Cheaper to run than heating, and people don't deny themselves that comfort in the winter. It's worth it to be able to sleep. Unfortunately there are no log-powered air conditioners.
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User #8878350 - 19 Jul 18 18:53
That wasn't supposed to sound sarcastic.
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User #205697 - 15 Jul 18 17:07
Get some of Barry’s mountain to hide the hearse under? Plant some nice veggie crops on/in it for extra fun.
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ianboldsworth - 18 Jul 18 23:01
I mean, that's an excellent idea. I might make it the centre of an adventure playground.
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User #8977362 - 15 Jul 18 20:41
I use a kitchen drawer for all those sort of random keys and objects I accumulate .did you look in there ? I used to use the telephone table drawer ,but who has one of those nowadays!
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User #8577273 - 16 Jul 18 12:21
I agree. Man drawer. :-)
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ianboldsworth - 18 Jul 18 23:03
Both wrong - glove box of a different car!
Dodds On The Phone Podcast
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2018-07-14T19:39:59+00:00
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Hello

Been trying to sort this conversation all week and finally got it done today. It's a cheeky little podcast with Dodds on the phone (again the levels aren't perfect - headphones please, I might just get an ISDN line or something).

It does however contain an occasion of very rude language from potty-mouthed Dodds, and a relatively near the knuckle conversation the evolves from a mention of Gary Glitter (that's probably enough for you to get the idea), so do steer clear if that's gonna upset you.

For those of you who don't listen, here's a picture of me looking very handsome and moody in my garden earlier on.

Form a queue ladies...

(that disguise is fooling nobody John Beck)

Hope your weekend is going to plan and you're having the most pleasant of days

Love as always

xxxxx

Comments (20)
user avatar
User #8823868 - 15 Jul 18 01:24
Saville practically admitted to being a pedophile, he did this to hide it
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User #11998192 - 15 Jul 18 09:22
Doesn't that look like the shadowy figure of a boy in Victorian-style school uniform, standing to the right of the bush next to Ian's front door? One for Barry to investigate, perhaps? ;-)
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User #4788856 - 15 Jul 18 18:18
?God gave me a mountain to climb.. ?
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User #249737 - 15 Jul 18 03:27
Some juicy Dodds Deets
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User #460948 - 18 Jul 18 18:15
I've listened to this about 4 times now, I just love the way Barry tells the story and think it's definitely even funnier when you know what's coming. The impression of the old worker men reminded me of Barry's brilliantly accurate Derek Acorah from The Parapod (Daruma-san and Ringo Starr excepted of course)
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User #4166211 - 14 Jul 18 20:51
Was it a P&G podcast where there's a mention of Glitter and the podcast just ends as you start bellowing COOOOOMMMMEE ON! Really made me laugh.
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User #385683 - 14 Jul 18 21:18
It is indeed. I was listening to that episode today.
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User #11854760 - 16 Jul 18 19:38
I’ve listened to this like four times and it’s still one of the funniest things I’ve ever heard
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User #4166211 - 15 Jul 18 00:00
The first two names I thought of were Grant and Biggins! Did you ever hear Dick Van Dyke being interviewed by Maron. Halfway through he said out of nowhere "I used to get hundreds of letters from little girls asking to marry me. Good job I wasn't a paedophile!" I fucking love Dick Van Dyke. Barry's mountain is another story that should go in his set. I've been ranting today about people getting offended by the wrong things so I'm on Barry's side.
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User #8823868 - 15 Jul 18 01:36
Also is the "help me" a Simpsons joke
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User #8987927 - 15 Jul 18 14:39
The Fly. :)
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User #10530480 - 15 Jul 18 08:54
I appreciated the "Help Me" joke at the end, In fact I would like to say it was comedy Gold(blum) but alas it was from the 58 original so it doesn't really work. I guess that's the (Vincent) price I will have to pay for this comment.
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User #385683 - 14 Jul 18 21:20
This may actually be the funniest podcast I have ever heard. Just...I don't even know where to begin.
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User #6708470 - 14 Jul 18 22:06
The tree and vines on the right kind of look like a big face. Worzel Gummidge maybe?
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User #830951 - 15 Jul 18 07:37
We're all aware that Paul's nickname is 'Dangerous Danan', aren't we?
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User #8977362 - 15 Jul 18 14:05
10 ton! LMFAO that is amazing!
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User #249737 - 17 Jul 18 07:14
I'm sorry. Barry said something incredibly melodic in this podcast and I just had to try and turn it into a hook. I guess 15 years ago they would call this a YTMD? Here's the link. https://dbr.ee/OscD Anyway now to listen to the other 30 minutes of the podcast. I didn't spend too much time on this, thankfully. :'D
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User #8571788 - 17 Jul 18 18:20
Hahaha
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User #8567731 - 18 Jul 18 01:20
Permission please to set this as my ringtone....?
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User #249737 - 18 Jul 18 01:20
Granted.
Poster
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2018-07-13T19:08:49+00:00
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As blabberingly promised in that interminable Cabin Fever Podcast last night (technically today, as it took longer to upload due to my verbal spiralling), John Beck and I have a poster for you to see. It's not a wedding invite, don't worry.

Here you go.


Hope you like it, and that you've had a lovely day. I have, so you deserve one too.

Much love

xxx

Comments (11)
user avatar
User #8577273 - 14 Jul 18 03:43
WOW! That is incredible! What a masterpiece!
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User #408032 - 13 Jul 18 19:15
Love the thermal imaging camera figures ? xx
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User #4166211 - 13 Jul 18 19:29
The temptation to say Barry's face doesn't look right is so strong right now. No, it looks amazing. Although Barry does have a couple of Ready Brek men for tits.
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User #9786425 - 13 Jul 18 19:10
Phenomenal job that ??
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User #8567850 - 13 Jul 18 19:20
25/10
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User #11057226 - 13 Jul 18 19:34
I think that’s a boo buddy! Can’t wait for this xx
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User #460948 - 13 Jul 18 19:31
Oh God is that a BooBuddy?
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User #830951 - 13 Jul 18 19:13
This is lovely. John has drawn KITT wrong though
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User #8568029 - 13 Jul 18 20:49
Didn't even start the poster til this evening. Was on the bus listening to last night’s Cabin Fever podcast. Suddenly I'm promised a 21 second kiss for finishing it, so I ran home and knocked this together
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User #8888346 - 14 Jul 18 18:05
Is that the Art Work you talked about on the pod? It looks incredible. Surely people can't moan about that! It looks like a grainy photo. Have you posted the one that people moaned about? If so, which post was that? I would have read it, but can't remember being offended by any poster art!
user avatar
User #408032 - 14 Jul 18 18:38
12th June
Cabin Fever Podcast Whatever Number It Is
Cabin Fever Podcast Whatever Number It Ismore_vert
2018-07-12T23:06:58+00:00
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Cabin Fever Podcast Whatever Number It Is 2018-07-12T23:06:58+00:00close

Hello there

I am sure you will have already concluded that I lost track of my time today, so was intending to do you a quickie Cabin Fever Podcast. It turned into a long, rambling, philosophising, stuttery, soliloquy.

But as it's now 23:47, it's what you're getting... I've not even proof-listened to it. There's a bit of news in it like, as well as me getting distracted by myself and blabbering down conversational cul-de-sacs. Which is most unlike me huh?

Sleep well please...probably about 4 minutes into this...

Much love

xxxxxx


Comments (17)
user avatar
User #551118 - 14 Jul 18 18:52
I like your points about only ever getting better and being able to see improvements. There are lots of other examples but Fury Road is a good example of a film made by a director who only got better and improved with life. However I really disagree it's a given. Some people absolutely fall off a cliff and they never recover. They loose their inspiration or experimentalism or urgency or in some cases must just loose their talent. I'd love to hear someone talk about why their stuff isn't as good as it used to be honestly. Lots of the time they clearly don't realize, sometimes it must be conscious complacency and sometimes it just be something you are aware of. All of which is to say I think one of the most clear examples of someone just loosing their talent and clearly not through sheer complacency is Ben Elton. When I was a teenager I watched all the stuff he had written listened to any of his stand up I could get hold of from the 80s then I became acutely aware everything he did after some point in the mid 90s was utter shit. Then when I was about 18 I saw his stand up and it remains the only piece of entertainment I've seen where I feel I deserve my money back. I wasn't even into stand up back then, I'd seen very little of it, a few touring shows and scraps on late night TV. It was so bad I didn't laugh once, the enthusiastic smile I had going in going to see a comedy and stand up icon was gone pretty quick. It wasn't him dying, the audience laughed and stuff, he wasn't good on stage but his reputation carried him. It was the material, it was so bad and cliched it was like a parody of an unfunny hack observational comic from 5 or 10 years before. I don't understand how someone who was a professional comedy writer and stand up could write something so terrible unless they had fundamentally lost something.
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User #249737 - 13 Jul 18 10:34
Lines through the screen-- I think you're just dealing with interlaced footage, which is common sometimes. This just gets smoothed out later. :) Also, the baby comparison to cutting shit is so apt that it's an industry term that i learned when I was in college, "Kill your babies". You'll be really glad when you do because pacing is so, so important in making all of these individual moments hit and fall in just the right place. Similarly related, you will be *damn* surprised how much you can cut without removing the actual content. Think of it like the pacing of a joke in a comedy skit. If you linger for too long, the joke might fall flat. Scene pacing in a film is very much the same, in essence. Also? I'm 26. You would not BELIEVE how often I've looked back at art, writing, or music I've made even a *year* ago and said "This is garbage compared to what I'm doing now". It's a main driving force behind my ability to keep going, the sense that I *am* actually going somewhere.
user avatar
User #9121950 - 13 Jul 18 15:18
Pretty much the same response as above. Can't go too into detail as Ian will not let me eat for the month, and I do like having the window he granted me... but due to the nature of the film we've got lots of almost "episodes". Now it's deciding to pull on the threads to make things into a cohesive whole. I have some ideas, and I'm almost at a point where I can do an "editors cut". Then I expect Ian to destroy it, because in the end it has to be The Parapod Movie, not my idea of the Parapod!
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ianboldsworth - 13 Jul 18 19:11
The lines were just glitches in the render when it was transferred to me, is all under control, fear not!
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User #830951 - 13 Jul 18 12:24
So.... Nine hours of deleted scenes on the Blu Ray then?
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User #9121950 - 13 Jul 18 15:08
Lets make it 10.
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ianboldsworth - 13 Jul 18 19:10
plus VAT mate...
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User #9120428 - 13 Jul 18 07:55
Try to negotiate for the loss of some toes in order to save one eye, and pick the non-dominant hand/arm to sacrifice. (Your welcome)
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User #9121950 - 13 Jul 18 15:07
Thing is, this baby has so many eyes & arms...
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User #4166211 - 13 Jul 18 17:55
Well Barry is one of the fathers.
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ianboldsworth - 13 Jul 18 19:13
This is all an excellent equation. I shall pass it on to Simon.
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User #9120428 - 13 Jul 18 07:55
You’re
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User #4166211 - 13 Jul 18 00:12
With the adapting the autobiography thing, I think you can definitely change things. I mean Les Dawson would have. He had to have. Because unless he was taking a tape recorder everywhere conversations would have come from memory. Human nature is such that we make ourselves the hero in our own story so conversations and moments we recall are always weighted towards that. Autobiography isn't absolute truth, just individual truth. I think that might be quite wise but I do talk a lot of bollocks so feel free to ignore me. With editing it's generally said whatever doesn't obviously further the story is the first to go. The great Thelma Schoonmaker, who edits all Martin Scorsese's films, said you direct with your intellect and edit with your gut. Walter Murch said something similar, you edit for the emotion of the scene. And the thing is that 40 minutes can easily be reduced by playing with the rhythms of the scene so you can get the stuff you need to have from it and lose a lot of time. I see it like editing a poem, you can have a killer line but if it doesn't fit the flow of the poem then it goes. Kill your babies.
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User #9121950 - 13 Jul 18 15:06
Ian hasn't seen me in Baby killing mode yet. We're having a meet up soon. I have ideas in mind, for the story I think comes across in the film. I'm quite excited to see what we end up with. The 40 minutes Ian has is about having this documentary moment watchable. I think there's an obvious storyline there. Have some loose ends to tie up first though. Lots of potential bonus footage though.
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User #4166211 - 13 Jul 18 17:57
You have to podcast the baby killing session. I expect Ian on the edge of a breakdown while you explain you don't need 500 different scenes of him making Barry look like a bellend.
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User #9685521 - 15 Jul 18 07:18
At the end of this you say you’ve had people reduce pledges and leave recently, I wanted to say I’m one of these that reduced pledges but only because I’m on maternity pay now and needed to ? so don’t worry that it’s anything to do with you. I’d pay you so so so much more if I could for everything you’ve added to my life ?
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User #12007619 - 16 Jul 18 08:47
I waited embarrassingly too long for the “BANG!” at the end.
Wednesday Update
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2018-07-11T17:39:33+00:00
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Wednesday Update 2018-07-11T17:39:33+00:00close

Look at that maniac. I’ve had those pictures in my phone for a couple of weeks now, thinking that there will definitely be an opportunity to use them at some point, but have come to the conclusion that it’s enough to just show you. Imagine being in a B&Q with that. No wonder I ended up buying the wrong toilet seat.

So, my Mum’s visit has come to an end and she’s safely back on the train home. I didn’t get round to recording anything with her, as the visit was pretty much full on with admin and cleaning, which is what mums are for. At 9am this morning she was weeding my back garden path and cleaning windows, whilst I attempted to remove moss from garden swing cushions that were idiotically left out throughout the whole of winter. She made a better job of the weeds and windows than I did of the cushions, but in return I taught her how to finally use her phone camera without doing “burst” shots all the time. Next time I will give her the advanced lesson of how to do it without sticking her tongue out…

She’ll be delighted that I’ve shared that picture.

Anyhoo, onto business. I’ve been having a proper big think about my ongoing projects and have a couple of tentative conclusions that I want to run past you. As I’ve mentioned a billion times, there are a lot of plates spinning concurrently, and the balance is often overwhelming. At the present time I have the following projects actually active;

The ParaPod Movie is first and foremost, and is an ongoing background project that I work on daily in some way. It’s also my priority, above and beyond anything else, and is the subject of most of my thoughts and ideas. Its chugging along far slower than I would want it to be, but that’s mainly because it is the project that has reliance on other people as well as myself. In reality it’s my only truly collaborative live project, and it remains simmering on a medium heat.

4000 Words remains a live project for me. I’ve thought about it loads in recent weeks, as there’s a degree of humble pie to it. It’s a project that hasn’t really worked, but I don’t know what “working” would involve. There’s no actual way of gauging it, it just feels like a futile effort.

It was always going to be a long shot, seeing as how it is very different in style and content to any of my other projects, and it certainly felt like I was finding my way through it and making mistakes as it was ongoing. I do very much miss the focus of it though. There’s an argument that the successful part of that podcast should be in me creating it, regardless of any response (or lack of), it still involved me creating and recording self-contained stories on a regular basis. The fact that I’ve found getting myself back into that mindset difficult/impossible, is a real drain to me, made all the more frustrating by the fact that this is a reactive thing to personal ongoing stuff. I very much feel locked down and unable to release that side of my head, but the logistics of the podcast itself have really not helped.

What started as a structural decision, to coerce me to write to conditions, soon became restrictive and stifling. It was, with hindsight, a rather foolish caveat to place on myself, with the even stupider decision to actually call it 4000 Words. That doesn’t leave me an awful lot of wriggle room for moving the goalposts of it, but that is gonna be my intention from here on in. Again, I know that there’s no fervor for the continuation of this project, but there really is from my side. Writing fiction is a huge urge for me, exploring avenues that have always been kind of roped off within stand up or comedy generally. It may well seem like a very predictable direction for a creative of my age, to be suddenly wishing to be ‘taken seriously’, but I see it more as a yearning for balance. The ParaPod Movie (and indeed The ParaPod podcast) has plenty of moments of smart, but all underpinned by idiocy (in the main, not mine), and Is There Anybody There? currently strikes a balance between smart/smug/silly, so I’m left with this vacant slot for something where I can detach and just write about darker, or more aloof, stuff. It’s a way to explore certain human conditions without being as obviously opinionated, if that makes sense?

So my plan, as it stands, is to relaunch/continue 4000 Words without the restrictions. I may find myself needing to get it to 4000 Words per podcast, just for me, but this could as easily be including three shorter stories or situations. I think I can write shorter more punchier stuff, without such a set up or conclusion. Snapshot writing is fun. The upside to there being no following/fanbase for it, is it can literally operate in whatever way that suits my creative needs best, as there’s nobody to turn around and object to any new direction. Ill sneak them out with no fuss, and preview them on here so you can have a look, but it’s by far the most a project has ever felt like banging my head against a wall, so I want to reclaim the aspects that work purely as a positive for me, and that means just knocking some stuff out and recording it.

The aforementioned Is There Anybody There? book is continuing at a steady pace, yet remains held slightly hostage by The ParaPod Movie in the places where there’s natural crossover. It’s comfortably the easiest project from a natural flow point of view though. It really is the easiest thing I’ve ever created, I just hope that doesn’t mean it’s awful. I want to keep updating you on it, as there’s no publisher attached to it, and even the potential issue we’ve discussed about stuff being previously published online doesn’t bother me. I’ll be quite happy hitting a negotiating speed bump, throwing in the towel with regards to a physical copy, and just putting the whole book up on here for you. I really don’t see it as a money spinner project, unlike the last ongoing idea…

I’ve been given some more art commissions, where I create pictures etc for short movies. It’s not retirement money, but it’s a nice side-business that forces me to keep my art head on, and learning skills that I can then employ into my other art work. As you’ll know, my personal art projects are exclusively for myself. I build things for my house, or to display my toys on, but have never had the…confidence, I guess, to create physical works for others to commission/buy. I reckon the present Frank Sidebottom Wall Art project is a good format to hone and sell. The layered wooden collage presentation can be utilised into almost any theme, and I think if I wasn’t making it myself, I’d be tempted to buy a Sidebottom piece like that, if it were for sale elsewhere. So I’m gonna make a few more, in different styles and with different themes, and look seriously into launching this as a commission/sales business. For the record, I’ve not come near to working out how and where I would promote and sell these things, don’t know how one would do that, but I increasingly feel that I’d welcome this being part of my day-to-day job. I’m craving productivity with momentum again.

There we go, that’s me. Very focused on work stuff just now, so there’ll be plenty to update you with beyond this statement of intent. Also want to get on with the new podcasts with Dodds (including The ParaPod Special), so if you don’t see any movement on any of these projects I’d like you to be forthright in demanding them!

Here’s all the wooden back pieces for the Sidebottom wall art, that I managed to get done last night. I also managed to glue my fingers together, but as you can see my foot is fine.


Hope you’ve had a lovely Wednesday, and that your evening is delightful on every level

Much love as always

Xxxx

Comments (17)
user avatar
User #460948 - 11 Jul 18 22:22
I'm really looking forward to Is There Anybody There? Also to see what Barry thinks of it too it as I know his favourite book is Will Storr vs The Supernatural. I loved that book when I first read it too but now, after listening to The Parapod especially, can see where the most simple critical analysis of all the events is missing. I guess it was never really meant to be that type of book but it definitely leans towards the side of believing despite the skeptical angle he comes in at. Really enjoyed the Fubar show, that section of IT in the tunnels really is as ridiculous as it sounds and something the screen adaptations could never go near. But Stephen King using a ghostwriter?? That's total blasphemy. Those 120ml bottles are great but they're absolute bastards to re-use if they're the same as mine, I've only got the top popped off again by using a stanley knife which feels about as safe as it sounds.
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ianboldsworth - 12 Jul 18 12:10
I've deliberately held off reading the Will Storr book, even though Dodds still gets huffy from time to time that I've not read it yet. I just think there are potentially too many similarities and I don't want to be either dissuaded or inspired. I was definitely told by someone that Stephen King had gotten to the stage where he just attached his name to things, but that may well have been nonsense. Was just repeating what I vaguely remembered and I think I did add that caveat (I have very poor recall of any of the Fubar shows beyond twenty minutes after them, and even then it's not great recollection)
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User #4166211 - 12 Jul 18 22:45
I haven't had chance to listen to this week's episode yet but regarding King. I've heard that rumoured but I don't buy into it. I think he's so prolific because he's going blind and wants to get so much work out while he can still see. Also he subscribes to the Trollope method. Trollope wrote (I think) 3 hours every day. If he finished a book in the middle of that period he would write The End and start a new book. King is said to write 2000 words minimum per day. With Will Storr's book he's more investigating, meeting with various people and exploring their beliefs. I think from what you've said there shouldn't be much overlap. It's a really entertaining book but as Nicky said, there's not a great deal of critical thought in there.
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User #4166211 - 13 Jul 18 17:59
Just heard it. Not liking It is the correct response. It's an atrocious adaptation of the book and the version they made is both racist and sexist. You're on your own with not liking Hereditary though.
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User #5278830 - 11 Jul 18 19:31
So he can do that but he can’t call a French kid a bellend?
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ianboldsworth - 12 Jul 18 12:07
Exceptional call back
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User #9120428 - 11 Jul 18 18:37
I am glad you are not giving up on 4000 Words. I guess it may not have as wide an appeal as all the other strings to your bow because it can be quite dark and maybe requires more effort on the part of the reader/listener than your other podcasts. However, I am sure a lot people have enjoyed the well-crafted stories and unexpected plot twists, and it would be a shame if your literary talents in this respect were stifled.
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ianboldsworth - 12 Jul 18 12:06
Yep will give it a shot when I've regained some concentration for it. Doing my best! I do want to shove some lighter stuff in there too though.
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User #8895458 - 11 Jul 18 17:44
#shescominghome
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ianboldsworth - 12 Jul 18 12:05
Good luck
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User #8577273 - 12 Jul 18 10:30
You do have a very fine foot! I really liked 4000 words. Maybe because I come from a creative writing background...? You write beautifully. I'm looking forward to reading/hearing more but I fully understand that you may have to finish spinning some other plates first. :-)
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ianboldsworth - 12 Jul 18 12:11
Thank you. I think the onus lies on me to get my time organised in a more fluid way. Am getting there, I think.
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User #9853551 - 11 Jul 18 18:44
Have you looked into Etsy for your art? Ive only listened to “Trevor” so far but I liked it . I can still picture the disheveled old man shuffling down the street mumbling obscenities and I’ve know girls like that growing up too #relatable ( sorry if that’s the worst review you ever seen , I’ll stick to engineering , writing is hard )
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ianboldsworth - 12 Jul 18 12:07
I think Etsy would be the 'go to' on this stuff, but I've not so much as looked on the site yet. I'll work it out when I'm clearer as to what I want to do with it. And haha I will take ANY reviews - thank you
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User #8878350 - 12 Jul 18 17:06
I'm another one who thinks highly of 4,000 Words. I'm aware that I probably haven't given much feedback on it, but that's because I usually avoid consciously analysing things I enjoy, out of fear of taking the joy out of them. Also, who the hell am I to criticise?! And if I said I liked it every time I read one of the stories, I'd probably end up sounding sycophantic. But please don't think that silence is lack of interest. The project is much appreciated here.
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User #5258333 - 12 Jul 18 00:13
That first picture is the one they will use when he eventually commits some sort of atrocity
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ianboldsworth - 12 Jul 18 12:11
It's adorable that you still think he hasn't done so already
Sneaky Quickie
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2018-07-10T09:01:00+00:00
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Sneaky Quickie 2018-07-10T09:01:00+00:00close

I'm not saying anything. Don't you say anything either.

Just marvel. Any takers?

Have a wonderful day please

Much love

xxxxxx


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9 July 2018

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Sneaky clip shhhhhh

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https://youtu.be/8Q8WElrnQC8

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Comments (31)
user avatar
User #2791449 - 10 Jul 18 09:32
Hahahaha brilliant.
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ianboldsworth - 12 Jul 18 12:14
Sometimes it's the simplest things eh?
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User #6201327 - 10 Jul 18 09:03
*Clutches pearls* oh my!
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ianboldsworth - 12 Jul 18 12:12
This is why everyone should have a hand fan nearby at all times x
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User #4740292 - 10 Jul 18 21:54
I mean. I would. I'd disappoint you sonhard but I feel like certain other benders are further ahead in the queue.
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ianboldsworth - 12 Jul 18 12:15
I increasingly think I should do gay escort work
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User #8958629 - 13 Jul 18 19:20
'Certain other benders' just made me laugh a lot more than I should have.
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User #3278718 - 10 Jul 18 09:01
AMAZING
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ianboldsworth - 12 Jul 18 12:12
Shoulda seen it from the front
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User #8761168 - 10 Jul 18 09:41
I would but I wouldn't admit to it.
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ianboldsworth - 12 Jul 18 12:14
I get that a lot
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User #5284101 - 10 Jul 18 09:30
Saucy!
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ianboldsworth - 12 Jul 18 12:14
You know it
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User #5258333 - 10 Jul 18 11:26
I would but I am certain I can't afford it.
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ianboldsworth - 12 Jul 18 12:14
There's bound to be a Sale in the near future
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User #5156628 - 10 Jul 18 09:08
This movie is gonna be a heartbreaker, isn't it?
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ianboldsworth - 12 Jul 18 12:13
Depends how you look at it...
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User #2835051 - 10 Jul 18 12:04
I actually missed it the first viewing :-)
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ianboldsworth - 12 Jul 18 12:14
I do have ninja skills too
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User #830951 - 10 Jul 18 09:07
Isn't this what you used to do in supermarkets?
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ianboldsworth - 12 Jul 18 12:13
Literally anywhere. The only rule was that nobody must be expecting it, which became increasingly difficult given the amount I was doing it. I'm probably on the sex offenders register but the letter has been sent to an old address.
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User #8580037 - 10 Jul 18 16:25
Bravo!
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ianboldsworth - 12 Jul 18 12:15
*Bows*
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User #8960051 - 11 Jul 18 05:56
Masterful timing!
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ianboldsworth - 12 Jul 18 12:15
It's all in the manipulation of the belt
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User #249737 - 13 Jul 18 10:30
I'm just going to pretend you posted this for my birthday. Thanks for the gift. >o
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User #8577273 - 12 Jul 18 10:11
Brilliant!
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ianboldsworth - 12 Jul 18 12:15
Five stars right?
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User #8577273 - 12 Jul 18 12:17
Definitely!
user avatar
User #8577273 - 12 Jul 18 12:17
No ifs or butts about it!
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User #8773553 - 13 Jul 18 06:11
This film is going to be perfect! Can’t wait.
Sidebottom Off-Cut Wall Art (Continued)
Sidebottom Off-Cut Wall Art (Continued)more_vert
2018-07-09T22:32:54+00:00
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Sidebottom Off-Cut Wall Art (Continued) 2018-07-09T22:32:54+00:00close

Hello there

So, the lesson we learn from this picture is; if you are on FaceTime with somebody and showing off the Frank Sidebottom head you made, and they say it looks too small to wear, and you decide to prove that it will go on your head, for heaven’s sake don’t panic once it is on your head. It got on, so it will get off, and you don’t need to quickly twist it off, as it might have sharp edges on the rim and end up slicing your head open. Got that? Good. So have I now.

I’ve been thinking about Frank Sidebottom a lot of late, which isn’t really unusual for me. I like when I record podcasts with Phil Fletcher, that we invariably end up talking about Chris Sievey. I was thinking today how irritating it is that, had he still been alive today, I’d have many “ins” for getting to know him but, contrarywise, I also think there’s a decent chance we wouldn’t have got on (because there’s lots of people I end up not getting on with, I think I may just have one of those faces/personalities).

I often forget that I did have correspondence with him when he was alive, as he let us use some of his music for the end of the Peacock & Gamble Podcast. It was an instrumental version of Frank Sidebottom’s cover of Panic by The Smiths, which I’d also used when I wrote a play called Toilet Humour! for the 1991 National Student Drama Festival. The thing was, that all my correspondence was with Frank, not Chris. I really wish I still had the messages we sent back and forth, but it was on MySpace. I remember one where he was saying words to the effect of “Is it possible to credit me for the music, boss?” (I remember being thrilled that he called me “boss”), and then a long paragraph where he attempted to talk me out of crediting him, saying it really doesn’t matter and not to worry about it. This was all in the same message. He made a request and then told me to ignore it. There wasn’t a chance in hell that I wasn’t going to credit him, for me as much as him. I was hugely stoked to have a project where Frank Sidebottom was – even tenuously – involved.

The other reason I’ve been thinking about Sidebottom/Sievey, is because I spent most of yesterday making headway on the wall art I’m doing of him. I should say that I’m not as confident about it as I originally was, mainly because of the colouring. He has a grey suit and I’ve chosen to have all the memorabilia pics in black and white in the background too, so it’s not gonna pop. I’m often a decent problem solver with art things though, so I’ll work a way round it. I've some ideas of how to credibly add colour into it, in a very on-brand way, but that’s for the future. For now, I’ll take you through the little bits that I did yesterday.

So these are the images I’ve collated from various places, that contain rarities and original posters etc from the Sidebottom back catalogue. There’s not one of them that I wouldn’t happily have as a full sized poster in the house, but they’ve been miniatured and printed out (on my recently broken printer…a story for another time…). Again, without being wet about all this, there’s something very empathetic to find yourself with a pair of scissors, cutting out loads of images from paper, for a Frank Sidebottom project. Chris spent a huge chunk of his life doing the exact same thing. It feels apt that a Sidebottom project involves a good amount of basic arts and crafts, as Sidebottom made a career from basic arts and crafts. To the garden…

If I hadn’t been messing around taking selfies then I wouldn’t have lost the light as quickly as I did (you’ll notice how fast these three pics go from light to dark). I set out the wood in the same design from the other week, and started layering the pics on them. This is far more fiddly and messy than you’d think, as it was done with mounting glue, which involves a spray over the wood followed by a spray over the backs of the images. You then need to wait for both to go tacky before attaching them, which in turn makes your fingers very tacky and glue-covered, which in turn ruins your new phone as you are taking progress pictures for a patreon post (this). Back inside…

There we go, that’s how much I managed to do before dark stopped play. I was very sensible and didn’t carry on in the house for fear of being found dead from fumes. Instead, I jumped to doing a bit of painting…

I’m very out of practice with painting, and I’m not the best painter anyway, so I’ve been taking this slow and steady. There’s little detail in what I’ve done so far, as I’m just trying to find the right shadings of colours and light etc. I’d actually got decent at digital painting, but in truth it bears little resemblance to actual painting. It certainly doesn’t obey the same rules. But there’s small similarities that I think actually improve one’s skills at painting practically. I’ve already resigned myself to the fact that this isn’t going to be a painting masterpiece, but – as with the R2-D2 build – I think I can make my limitations appear to be a stylistic choice. The detail in the background of this piece, printed out from the originals, will cut the central figure a bit of slack. I actually told Phil Fletcher that I’d hand-painted all the posters in the background, and he took about five minutes to message back “Ha!”, which I presume was five minutes of him scrutinizing the pictures and trying to fathom if my skill set would allow for that (spoiler – it really doesn’t).

So that’s basically where I got up to with it. I’m adamantly not rushing it, but there’s a space on the bathroom wall just waiting for it to be done. I’ve not been near it today as my mum is visiting, so I’ve been travelling from restaurant to restaurant whilst being shown endless pictures of my nephews. We’re going into Stratford-Upon-Avon tomorrow, so if anyone is nearby and sees me, please run up and tell me there has been an emergency and I need to come quick. That’ll get me out of being the dutiful son for half an hour.

Really hope your Monday was fun, and that Tuesday follows suit for you.

Much love

Xxx


Comments (8)
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User #205697 - 10 Jul 18 09:14
Damn it, you’re inspiring me to have a go at some arts and crafts now.
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ianboldsworth - 12 Jul 18 12:17
Definitely do. I always say you never have to show anyone, it can just be for the actual pleasure of doing it
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User #9436806 - 9 Jul 18 23:52
Looking good. I enjoy these creative project posts a lot. Inspiring.
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User #5258333 - 10 Jul 18 06:17
As do i. I struggle being creative generally so it's helpful seeing projects take shape.
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User #9436806 - 10 Jul 18 13:39
What do you do Mathew? (Creatively)
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ianboldsworth - 12 Jul 18 12:16
Cheers... I'm trying to do more
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User #8702772 - 11 Jul 18 17:51
This looks brilliant! Xx
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ianboldsworth - 12 Jul 18 12:17
Thank you lovely xxx
Last Phil Fletcher Podcast
Last Phil Fletcher Podcastmore_vert
2018-07-08T13:31:21+00:00
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Last Phil Fletcher Podcast 2018-07-08T13:31:21+00:00close

Hello Sunday folk

Before we get underway, because I felt bad about people entering the competition for the Johnny Vegas signed books and not winning, I've spoken to Bev today and we can sort you a signed copy for £13 (incl P&P) if that would be of interest? If you want one just email bev@woolybackproductions.com and she'll sort you right out. Hope that's of help to you?

Right as I promised you, here it is, the last Phil Fletcher Podcast, in which we discuss his band Pound Shop Boys and I've bunged in a couple of their tracks for you to fast forward through as well. Don't forget, it was very hot, and we were very tired. It's still lovely though.

As I promised myself, I'm gonna have a mess about with that Frank Sidebottom wall art I started for the rest of the day. Feeling a bit bruised and shattered so just gonna do the art thing. I'll update you with how I get on if you want.

Hope you're doing good and managing in the heat. Please try and have a lovely day (especially you, Beccy)

xxxx

Comments (7)
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User #3265135 - 10 Jul 18 04:40
I adore the musical piece at the finale, alas I can’t see it online so I can’t share it with the 12 remaining people who haven’t hidden me on facebook.
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ianboldsworth - 12 Jul 18 12:18
I regularly push him to get this album released - it'll turn up
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User #408032 - 9 Jul 18 06:05
So obviously I went straight to YouTube to listen to The Family Ness by the Pound Shop Boys ??? xxx
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ianboldsworth - 12 Jul 18 12:17
and did you fall down the PSB rabbit hole? xx
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User #408032 - 12 Jul 18 15:29
100% ? x
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User #11021412 - 8 Jul 18 13:46
*immediately increases pledge*. I'm going to read my book with some bourbons now. Enjoy doing the wall art! x
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ianboldsworth - 8 Jul 18 13:47
haha perfect, thank you. I'll do specific messages to everyone from now on and then retire on it. Enjoy your Sunday x
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