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LINKS TO CONTENT 2019-05-31T19:46:49+00:00

i have removed the links, i’ll be remaking the passwords and links at a later time.

just wanted to make this statement:

THERE IS NO PORNOGRAPHIC CONTENT ON THIS PATREON.

what you are linked to is a onedrive folder that holds the content as dictated in my posts. there is no porn, just clarifying for everyone.

have a good rest of your day everyone, you’ll be receiving new links soon.<3

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ATTENTION NEWEST PATRONS 2018-10-19T06:45:21+00:00

please do not make a post asking where you can see photos or video. especially since in literally every post on my patreon that is viewable literally has instructions step by step broken down.

i will remove the post and you will be blocked. this is your only warning.

if you have any questions, please either message me directly or send me an email: casseejoseph@yahoo.com

Thank you <3

flag
Kitten updates! 2018-04-30T19:34:00+00:00

Unfortunately, people keep pledging then deleting after seeing my work and that's unfair to me. As of May 1st I'll be removing posts and adding them to different drives instead.
That way those who have pledged and paid gain access, unfortunately if you pledge after the 1st and your payment hasn't been processed, you won't be able to see anything until the following month unless you've paid me personally beforehand.
Just a PSA <3

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Comments (3)
user avatar
User #7615191 - 15 May 18 06:35
How do I pay?
user avatar
eessac - 16 May 18 02:37
send me a direct message for further instructions!<3
user avatar
User #7615191 - 14 May 18 03:04
You have cash app ?
smoke sesh with the bean/2
smoke sesh with the bean/2more_vert
2018-02-01T14:25:41+00:00
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smoke sesh with the bean/2 2018-02-01T14:25:41+00:00close

i got a mirror.
i got a mirror.more_vert
2018-01-23T17:19:17+00:00
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i got a mirror. 2018-01-23T17:19:17+00:00close


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the bean takes over.
the bean takes over.more_vert
2018-01-22T17:51:37+00:00
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the bean takes over. 2018-01-22T17:51:37+00:00close


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he's mean.
he's mean.more_vert
2018-01-22T15:06:11+00:00
Post file flag
he's mean. 2018-01-22T15:06:11+00:00close


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YouTube

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</iframe>
delicate.
delicate.more_vert
2018-01-22T04:16:30+00:00
Post file flag
delicate. 2018-01-22T04:16:30+00:00close

you are my canvas.
you are my canvas.more_vert
2018-01-22T04:15:30+00:00
Post file flag
you are my canvas. 2018-01-22T04:15:30+00:00close

art.
art.more_vert
2018-01-22T04:14:25+00:00
Post file flag
art. 2018-01-22T04:14:25+00:00close

age: 21 2018-01-22T04:13:30+00:00

Sadness is not meant to be a beautiful thing.
The way his tears skid across sunken cheeks may warm your heart, but it’s not something to be profoundly cherished depending on the root of his misery.
(Happiness has eluded me for so fucking long, years even).
And yet within this generation, such an emotion is rarely ever embraced or sought after.
Rather, many seek chilled hands of depression, hurt, anguish to sink ligaments of wondrous art, songs, variations of wordings and most of all, the love of another upon their cries of acceptance.
No.
No one is going to fucking save you from any sort of sadness that you’ve been unfortunately been dealt.
No one.
You have to save your fucking self.
Happiness, fuck I desire you so.
Imprint your calloused fingers into the meat of my waist,
smother me in all that is your warmth.
I just want to wake up one day and understand my worth, understand that underneath all my self hatred is an essence of anything but.
something of value.
fuck.
fuck this sadness, fuck this shroud of anxiety when I swap the comfort of my loneliness for the unforgiving company of others.
fuck everything, just fuck.

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a letter for my bean, before we even met: 2018-01-22T04:12:14+00:00

I don't know who you are, I don't even know if I'll ever even get to meet you honestly.

(I'm going to be saying 'I don't know' a whole lot, but frankly I don't give any fucks)

I could die tomorrow, I could die within the next five minutes, nothing is certain. But what I do know is that fuck, I'm going to love you. If I ever get the chance to somehow meet you,
-somehow get to know the crinkles that spot the alignment atop your cheeks bones when you snort at something particularly funny,
-somehow get to know the ins and outs of the doubt behind your darling eyes, when you blink so steadily when tears are on coming,
-somehow get to know the beat of your heart, a lullaby for my consciousnesses to fade in relief for rest within my mind, atop your chest,
-somehow get to know how perfectly our fingers fit, smothered as one,
-somehow get to know the wondrous lines that decorate your hips, your breasts; you call them "stretch marks", I'll kiss you then, and trace the evidence of discomfort all along the map of your face, your body with the muscles of my lips and remind you how fucking breath taking every part of you really fucking is, fuck you're beautiful, just fuck,
-somehow get to know how fast my own heart races just to the sound of three words running a muck within my mind, tumbling from your lips and into the recess of my memory,
I'll know how lucky I am, no without a doubt in my mind I'm going to make sure to remind you how much you mean to me. I don't care if I use every curse word known to man to get it through your thick skull, because somehow; even though I haven't met you, I know that you just don't fucking realize just how important you are.
How imperative it is that you are here, that you are alive.
You are perfect just as you are, and until we meet, until I can crowd you with well deserved praises and validity, repeat after me:
"I am perfect, I am loved."
"I am perfect, I am loved."
"I'm fucking perfect, I am fucking loved."
"I am motherfucking perfect and I am motherfucking loved."
Because you are, maybe not by anyone in your life just yet (that you haven't realized) but by me, I don't care that I haven't met you yet.
Somehow, if I am able to, I'll love you with every breath of my being, you'll be branded into my veins; blood pumping for every smile, laugh, and frequent strokes of skin mingling with the mirror contrast.
To who ever you may be:
Love you, that is what I'll do.
fuck

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past heart ache age: 20 2018-01-22T04:06:04+00:00

I can’t fucking sleep,

it’s not happening and I have to wake up for work in a few hours.
But I blame you, I blame everything on you.
Well, (me)
I just had to read an old friend’s sad tales of love lost.
I just had to go onto my Facebook and see you’re new profile picture or whatever the fuck.
Ha, my emotions are back.
All night I’ve been lying about my floor,
tangled in blankets that smother my cries for sleep.
I don’t know what I was thinking about really.
What does one think about at 4:42 in the morning?
On a Thursday?
You’re giggle, the way you’d fucking cover your mouth and blush so charmingly when I made you laugh,
I always made you laugh.
Fuck, all we did was laugh,
our fall outs were never face to face were there?
I never did get the chance to call you mine,
never.
I wasted an entire year and a half of my life, waiting for you.
Waiting for you to realize that this entire time I was yours.
Your words put my variances to shame,
and that story you wrote about me, for me;
it’s been three fucking years and my heart still beats uncontrollably, horrendously due to even just a few words spewed from memory.
I don’t even know what it’s like to kiss you.
Hold you close, I don’t even know what it’s feels like to have your ape hands dwarf my tiny pair.
Monkey, my tall monkey.
You were so beautiful though, weren’t you?
I know I meant something, that’s what stings.
I know that whatever you felt for me, was profound as it was titillating.
But you fucking coward, you bitch, you fuck fuck fuck
Did my tears mean nothing?
You wrote me countless ‘I’m sorry’s, 'Please move on’ but then spilled to my dearest of friends at the time that you didn’t want me to leave,
you wanted me to wait for you, how in the fuck was I supposed to leave.
I couldn’t leave.
I couldn’t get you out of my head.
You know everything about me, everything.
More than my own mother.
You knew me more than your own self, but I can’t say the same for you.
You took me in, but gave nothing in return.

It’s better to give than receive yes, but shit

did I deserve nothing from you?

I wanted nothing more than to love that small crevice in your chin,
(you always poked at the one adorned on my left cheek)

to love your gangling limbs,

to love how easily it was to bruise your pale skin,

to love our hours of unfiltered conversations on anything and everything,

I just wanted to love you.

But I wasn’t fucking good enough,

I was never good enough.

Now, because I’m a sadistic little bitch, scrolling through your Facebook,

I see that someone else conquers your thoughts.

It’s been so long, years even but still just fuck

you’re in my head

fuck it’s 4:53 AM

I need sleep,

(you, I need you)

fuck

flag
two months after dating you
two months after dating you more_vert
2018-01-22T04:02:03+00:00
Post file flag
two months after dating you 2018-01-22T04:02:03+00:00close

it was 3:46 AM

you’re making a literal home for yourself in my heart. 


placed on the wall up against the window, a day to remember and Taco Bell at 11:30 PM.


across your bed, used condoms and a Led Zeppelin band tee.


in the closet, car rides and kisses down your neck into the small dip on your shoulder.


down the hall, tangled fingers and startling blue-green eyes that soften immensely whenever you lock onto my own.


with each foot step,

each memory plastered about my overtaken heart,


i can’t help but throw away any notion of a uniformed lease.


don’t worry about three to five day notices or signing on the dotted line.
you’re welcome to stay indefinitely, my love.

update smoke sesh/
update smoke sesh/more_vert
2018-01-22T03:52:18+00:00
Post file flag
update smoke sesh/ 2018-01-22T03:52:18+00:00close

21 2018-01-04T21:45:31+00:00

"im not under the impression that every person i talk to or attempt a romantic endeavor with will end up falling in love with me or some shit, i rarely love myself on good days so right now i don’t expect anyone else to honestly.
my fucking problem is that i crave physical touch and affection, like it’s an actual problem.
like i love pleasing and molding myself to anyone i feel the slightest bit of attraction to.
im a firm believer in going after and doing whatever you want physically and emotionally with anyone who is single as long as it’s consensual and not in a negative shadow.
but every fucking time i meet someone, hookup in whatever sexual fashion at that time, they literally stop talking to me.
like completely, and i understand that it’s probably because that’s all they wanted and im and idiot for always having the highest hope for people but im literally the most straight forward person in the world and if you don’t want a relationship and just want a friendship that extends to the physical realm IM OKAY WITH THAT.
like, im not asking for you to get down on one knee and spend the rest of your life with me.
im not asking to be fucking cherished or loved.
im asking for HONESTY, just tell me what the fuck you want and we’ll be okay.
what keeps fucking happening to me, is that after i express that im preferably looking for a relationship with someone and a more profound connection that the occasional shag can’t provide, the person always FUCKING ALWAYS says that they’re looking for the same thing, even when i give them an out and tell them it’s okay if they just want the just physical, that im okay with merely being pals who give each other platonic kisses and orgasms, to just let me know but they ALWAYS say they want to get to know me better and see where it goes from there.
And after stressing that with me, im always the optimistic fool who lets them in, gives another part of my heart away only for all the time, effort and affection I’ve gifted their way to be returned to me once we’ve hooked up.
literally every time it’s the same damn pattern, i honestly say what im looking for, offer an out for them, they say they are looking for the same thing, we meet, hook up, and they never speak to me again.
Yeah it’s my fault for being an insecure little fuck and allowing people in every time they bat their eyelashes at me and falsely return my sentiments but fuck it hurts.
It fucking hurts me every time im tossed to the side like a used condom, only wanted for a good time and discarded like that apparent trash that i am when all is said and done."

flag
i saw you 2018-01-04T21:44:10+00:00

no one ever warns you about remembering
you get the obvious “don’t fall in love"s
but infatuation can be just as menacing, maybe even more
seeking solace in the gap between ones arms
only to realize one night stands can be unexpected
rolling over in the dark, it’s not just one face you remember
not just one set of hands that traced the contour and dips down your spine
it’s with that, the heaviness in your heart grows
and your lips will still tingle with a tinge of loneliness and regret

flag
4:36 PM 2018-01-04T21:37:33+00:00

Fingers silently screaming,
the spaces between so cold and vacant,
it hurts.
Gasping for breathe,
for some solace of united warmth from someone other than the cruelty of myself.
Eyes closed,
but searching even ad-mist the blackness of a dream not to be remembered in the early searches of sunlight across tired eyelids.
Maybe I dreamt of you.
Maybe I met you in a cataclysmic collision of unanimous precognition, bones aching and churning for you to hold tightly against the dancing muscle within the confines of a ribbed cage.
Shades of varied graces come across my threshold, a plethora of sized arms and legs come into play but none come close to you.
A gaping area of chilled blank, stares into the profound recesses of my mind as I lie on my side and imagine ghostly limbs intertwining with my own.
It’s a lonely night, always.

flag
notes from my past #6 2017-12-30T22:14:02+00:00

teach me how,
with every intake of welcomed poison
her long, long legs floating about the
hardened insides of lungs long forgotten
by you,
chapped lips, aching
yearning for what was once a learned
practice, with ease
whispered words of implicit adoration
of me, to you
you,not
to me
teach me how,
forgetting
removing seemingly natural tid bits of movement
as you walk by, eyes burring through sadness reflected
within my own weary pair,
fingers twitching, memories of (no)longer,
nimble ligaments finding solace between my own
teach me how you so easily moved on,
and yet i, can’t.

flag
note from my past #5 2017-12-30T22:12:27+00:00

So, I’ve seen that you’ve been around.
Nothing cataclysmic has happened to you, you’re perfectly fine.
Then why aren’t I?
I told myself I wouldn’t let you seep into my fucking skin
You’ve implanted the drug of your lips about the flesh of my fingertips
My eyes, they’re so hard to fucking see through
I can taste a river of regret trembling down my cheeks
Staring at my phone isn’t going to make you text me
Staring at my screen isn’t going to make you call me
How the fuck did you make me want you
I want to take it all back
Take back the piece of me you’ve snatched from underneath my confused haze
I wasn’t thinking, no
my heart took up center stage
My walls came barreling down
I actually fucking thought for once someone would stay
someone would find something inside me, something worth fighting for
loneliness, she always returns to me
she always finds me
i guess it’s enough (it’s not)

flag
5:08 pm 2017-12-30T22:09:58+00:00

physical blows mean nothing compared to the pain you inflict on me when our eyes lock, and I feel the world beneath me crumble, whilst you feel absolutely nothing.
That, the lack of any sort of emotion, recognition makes this the worst fucking hurt of them all.

flag
Showertime.
Showertime.more_vert
2017-12-30T22:04:55+00:00
Post file flag
Showertime. 2017-12-30T22:04:55+00:00close


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YouTube

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IMG 1708

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muse.
muse.more_vert
2017-12-28T17:35:01+00:00
Post file flag
muse. 2017-12-28T17:35:01+00:00close

everything about you captivates me.
i don't understand how someone can merely glance at me and it's like the entirety of my insides just melt into a mess of stuttering declarations of love and timid thoughts about our future.
our future?
o u r
us together, as one entity?
we are a pair you and i
burrowing my existence into your tired back after a long days work-
the warmth radiating off your roughened skin seeping into the realm of my heart
beating
beat
beats
because of you
at one point/every point
death would've been a welcome companion
but now
it's your company
i'd rather share.

notes from my past #4 2017-12-28T17:05:41+00:00

friendship calms, brings you faith
when the rest of the world is in turmoil
and a single hand intertwined with your own
is enough,
more than enough to get by

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notes from my past #3 2017-12-28T17:04:14+00:00

I want to be the stranded eyelash on the highs of your cheeks.
I want to define line after line within the folds of your smile.
Can I be the synonym?
The dip hollowed about your lower back, a rolling plateau where my fingers find home,
can they follow the fields along your spine trailing between towers of your shoulders
to replace the salted remains of love once lost to the found memory of our hellos
can I, will I be enough?

flag
notes from my past #2 2017-12-28T16:55:06+00:00

I think the hardest part of not talking to you, is knowing I almost had you.
So close, but always second best.

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notes from my past #1 2017-12-28T16:53:37+00:00

My lips are nostalgic,
chapped and quivering.
memories of you ghosts the cracks left behind,
eyes close,
mind wanders
fading arms encircle me in an unforgiving cold,
crushing, bruising tidings.
eyes open,
unwanted hands remain.
fingers enclosing about my neck,
breathing comes short,
gasps mask my screams for you,
shouting muffled by tears unrelenting,
squeezing, thoughts of you tighten their hold.
release, me.

flag
family
familymore_vert
2017-12-22T03:07:53+00:00
Post file flag
family 2017-12-22T03:07:53+00:00close

with you, my cheeks are no longer drenched with melanchoy. my heart is warm, my smile renewed and her purrs against my chest while your lying against my back?

happinless isn’t enough, that word too simplistic.

fuck-

10:02 PM
10:02 PMmore_vert
2017-12-22T03:02:54+00:00
Post file flag
10:02 PM 2017-12-22T03:02:54+00:00close

So, I’ve seen that you’ve been around.

Nothing cataclysmic has happened to you, you’re perfectly fine.

Then why aren’t I?

I told myself I wouldn’t let you seep into my fucking skin

You’ve implanted the drug of your lips about the flesh of my fingertips

My eyes, they’re so hard to fucking see through

I can taste a river of regret trembling down my cheeks

Staring at my phone isn’t going to make you text me

Staring at my screen isn’t going to make you call me

How the fuck did you make me want you

I want to take it all back

Take back the piece of me you’ve snatched from underneath my confused haze

I wasn’t thinking, no

my heart took up center stage

My walls came barreling down

I actually fucking thought for once someone would stay

someone would find something inside me, something worth fighting for

loneliness, she always returns to me

she always finds me

i guess it’s enough (it’s not)


9:57
9:57more_vert
2017-12-22T02:57:43+00:00
Post file flag
9:57 2017-12-22T02:57:43+00:00close

I think the worst part about loving someone, being enamored unconditionally is remembering. As you wake up at 4 AM, you remember how it felt to see them sleeping beside you so peacefully, heart beats aligned so wonderfully. The way they wrinkled their nose unconsciously, curling into you further when you reared back to gaze adoringly down at them. How it felt to witness the morning rays ghosting about their bruised hips. Vibrant eyes turned towards you lazily, not yet having wiped the sleep from whimsical eyelashes. Conversation that flowed so easily, jokes as lame as they come but ending in chaste kisses, god remembering how it feels to smother the muscles of your lips against each other, the drowning emotions all you can hear, all you know. The background noise of everyday life vanishing within those seconds, those minutes.

Fuck, in the end, when you walk past each other in the street, as you casually scroll through your phone and happened to catch an eye of their name, your heart lurches. Your blood seemingly stops circulation for just an instant, and you remember.

Like magic.

Comments (2)
user avatar
User #6452112 - 22 Dec 17 04:25
Damn. That was just touching. I have no words
user avatar
eessac - 22 Dec 17 11:42
Thank you SO much! ❤️
Notes from the past: 2 years 2017-12-07T01:10:25+00:00

"never thought i’d find myself in the realm of online dating
or at least attempting to date
im just so fucking lonely
it hurts my head
my head just throbs with my insecurities banging on all sides
my fingers forgot what it’s like
to hold something so precious that can slip so easily between their folds
my lips yearn to learn about what makes someone gasp for breath
tracing with a tongue leaping from plain to plain
but here i am
up all night once fucking more to talk to you
why the fuck do i want to talk to you
you say the sweetest things but then take hours to reply
i know, you have a busy life
and usually things as simple as not replying soon enough
just normally doesn’t bother me
what the fuck have you done
everything reminds me of you
yet you haven’t even had a chance to place your imprint in my sight
here i am yet again, waiting for your reply
then another one comes up to bat
no strikes yet,
maybe a home run for the boy with the beautiful blue eyes
man, no he’s a man
man enough to break me
far beyond fucking repair
i need sleep
but i cant fucking sleep till you fucking reply
Someone fucking reply
fuck"

my, i was so lonely back then.

flag
8:03 PM 2017-12-07T01:08:52+00:00

eyes open,
unwanted hands remain.
fingers enclosing about my neck,
breathing comes short,
gasps mask my screams for you,
shouting muffled by tears unrelenting,
squeezing, thoughts of you tighten their hold.
release, me.

flag
8:02 PM 2017-12-07T01:03:28+00:00

My lips are nostalgic,
chapped and quivering.
memories of you ghosts the cracks left behind,
eyes close,
mind wanders
fading arms encircle me in an unforgiving cold,
crushing, bruising tidings.
eyes open,
unwanted hands remain.
fingers enclosing about my neck,
breathing comes short,
gasps mask my screams for you,
shouting muffled by tears unrelenting,
squeezing, thoughts of you tighten their hold.
release, me.

flag
1:31 AM 2017-11-27T15:51:59+00:00

“You asked me why I wanted to be with you even though you treat me like "shit."

It's the way you look at me, when I literally have no makeup on, just woke up, probably have horrible morning breath and yet you still call me beautiful.

It's when you light up about cars, weed or literally anything.

Your eyes get so bright baby, you get so giddy.

It's the way you completely cover my body with your own, no matter where we are.

To the point where I don't know where you end and I begin.

It's the way you hold my hand.

It's the way you wrap your hand around the back of my neck, anchoring me and reminding me that you're there.

That I'm okay.

Sometimes when we're in public and I feel like people are starring at me (when they're probably not.) and I'm starting to get overwhelmed, you always grab some part of me.

Pull me closer to you, kiss me, smile at me, or rest you head against my own if we are in line.

It's the way that kiss me, whether hurried and frenzied or soft and slow.

Your lips fit right atop my own.

You fit i between my fingertips.

Your entirety fits inside my heart.

You are my heart.

That's why I stay, that's why I'm never leaving you.

Your negatives, your setbacks, your anger does NOT define you.

They do NOT make you.

I'm going to keep voicing my opinion because you deserve nothing but the honest truth from me. I'm going to keep being open with you because I KNOW you can do better.

I'm going to keep trying to be better, I'm not perfect.

I'm so so so fucking far from it.

I'm so shitty and so fucking flawed but I'm going to love you with all that i have.

You're mine.

Mine mine mine.

sleep well.”


//you’re mine, always.

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12:31 AM 2017-11-27T15:48:27+00:00

“I don't have anyone in my life who thinks highly of me, who thinks I'll make something of myself. No one else will pick up my phone calls, no one else tries to think about or understand my mental issues.

But you, at least I hoped so.

I'm not okay, I'm so far from okay. My mental state is not the best, it's at it's worst.

I'm not going to be the easiest person to deal with right now. I can't even stand my own self. I fucking hate how upset I can get. I wish I could bottle up my emotions and just not fucking feel.

But I can't.

You're the one person who I thought wouldn't hold my situation against me.

More than anything I need support from you, I need patience and understanding. You sat there and said that everything you said was wrong, that all you do isn't right and that's so far from the truth.

I know I'm at fault too.

I blew up and slammed your car door, trying to hurt you because I was hurting so damn much I didn't know what to do with myself.

I said that I didn't want to see you tomorrow even though I wanted to spend the whole day with you because it didn't seem like it mattered at all to you.

When you said that you wouldn't park the car because you had to go, it was like I was being dismissed?

That's what made me go over the edge.

Like I was so riled up because the person that I love so much, barely glanced at me and was telling me to just leave even though I was clearly upset?

That hurt so so so bad.

When you said that was you, the person standing in front of me hurting me.

That fucking stung.

When you looked at me, so passively like everything I was saying was crazy.

I felt so fucking worthless.

When you brought up the fact that you do so much for me in comparison to how much I do for you, I broke a little bit more.

I know I'm a piece of work okay, an absolute pile of shit.

But I've given you all of me, everything of mine you can have.

Without question, because that's all I have to give.

I'd love to give you the world but I can't.

I'm in a shitty fucking position and I'm a shitty person that no one wants to be around, not even my own mother.

No one picks up my phone calls, I talk too fucking much.

I'm too depressing for people to handle.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry that I'm not easy. I don't know what else to say, I wasn't ever going to leave you.

When you said that you thought we needed space?

That's something people say when they're considering breaking up with someone.

And that was like another twist of the knife in my heart.

I never thought you'd say that to me? Especially since we barely spend time together now.

I love you, with everything that I have. I was trying to be better for you, I've been trying so hard to approach you differently and consistently explain my feelings so you can understand where I'm coming from.

I don't even know what you think of me anymore.

I can't even confidently say you won't leave me.

I was so sure you were gonna leave me tonight, I still think so.

And the thought alone fucks me up.

I don't know what else to say, I feel like fucking shit”.


//you stayed.

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Comments (2)
user avatar
User #2512860 - 27 Nov 17 19:00
Oh Cassee, if you ever want to talk, I'm here okay.
user avatar
eessac - 28 Nov 17 15:06
Thank you bb ♥️♥️
you.
you.more_vert
2017-11-27T15:05:51+00:00
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you. 2017-11-27T15:05:51+00:00close

24 hours with you, maybe 30.

its not nearly enough time for the green in your eyes to follow me into tomorrow, without your physical body present.

how in the fuck are we doing this distance for so long?

your kiss, i need it.

your lips, i can’t still feel the faint memory of your love against my pillowcase, tear stricken eyes closed and nose burrowed into what’s left of home, fragments of your smell a reminder.

the warmth of your existence is gone from my sheets, the accompanying lonliness of my room takes comfort in wetness of my cheeks-

5 AM thoughts about you


Public Diary #idfk
Public Diary #idfkmore_vert
2017-11-20T00:09:36+00:00
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Public Diary #idfk 2017-11-20T00:09:36+00:00close

hey there! today i went off on a little bit of a tangent talking about how i hasn’t posted for so long and how you should put yourself first, value yourself and also smoke.

Ha

6:11 PM
6:11 PMmore_vert
2017-11-19T23:10:44+00:00
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6:11 PM 2017-11-19T23:10:44+00:00close

We present ourselves in varying hues of emotion.

we can literally go from a blushing shade of pink, rising up underneath giggling cheeks, pads of fingers ghosting the softening skin to a furious crimson red, forehead creased with absolute frustration, tears jerking with melancholy baby blues beautiful

6:10 PM
6:10 PMmore_vert
2017-11-19T23:08:52+00:00
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6:10 PM 2017-11-19T23:08:52+00:00close

if the sky is limitless, infinity why can’t the opportunity of happiness reflect at least that much? why allow sadness to overrun the mass collective of a chance at stability smiles becoming true stretching beyond the scope of reality submerged in elated conscious

6:07 PM
6:07 PMmore_vert
2017-11-19T23:06:50+00:00
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6:07 PM 2017-11-19T23:06:50+00:00close

caress the insides of my thighs with the thinned muscles of your lips show me how much you care through roughened fingertips stroking along goose bumped flesh i love yous mutely whispered about the corners of my neck, the ghost of your breathe stroking my narrow shoulders

Public Diary #2.
Public Diary #2.more_vert
2017-10-22T16:21:10+00:00
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Public Diary #2. 2017-10-22T16:21:10+00:00close

Dirty Never Have I Ever ft. The babe ♥️

Something from my notes. #1 2017-10-18T02:31:59+00:00

so I’m listening to Temple by Tonight alive and it’s her newest song and holy fucking shit it’s so fucking aMAZINNG and it’s exactly how I feel? Like the literal first line:

“I’m intoxicated by my depression.” IS LITERALLY EXACTLY HOW I FEEL HOLY FUCKING SHIT.

I’m in so much pain but holy fucking shit it’s addictive, like had as fuck to let go?

Idk why!!!

This song makes me feel vindicated in my pain holy fucking shit.

Through this fingers

Through the clicks

Through the taps

With every beat and drop within the tunes strumming through my body

My head, my neck I can’t control any part of me. This song is rage encompassed

With a groove

A dirty groove that makes you stare straight at the epitome of my sadness

And come in agreeable understanding

I recognize you’re being in existence

And working alongside you

But I will conquer you.

I will over come this.

MY BODY IS A TEMPLE

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Public Diary #1
Public Diary #1more_vert
2017-10-16T16:09:31+00:00
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Public Diary #1 2017-10-16T16:09:31+00:00close

So I was struggling with how i should go about my "podcasts" but I realized that I should stick with what I know. I've always been honest when it comes to my life and what I go through so I'm sticking to it. These audio posts will be called public diaries, where every week I'll post periodic looks into my life, answering "profound" questions and in my first, episode if you will, I'm having a bad start to my day but it's okay. Thank you for listening ♥️

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