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ATTENTION UK GARMY MEMBERS! 2019-05-16T09:00:17+00:00

Just a reminder, TODAY is the Garmy "meet and greet" for any of THE RALPH REPORT generals who can gather in London for a HAPPY HOUR!

THE RALPH REPORT UK MEET AND GREET!

Day: THURSDAY, MAY 16TH!

Time: 5:00 pm

Place: Hilton London Metropole Hotel Bar

225 Edgware Rd, Paddington, London W2 1JU

Hope to see you there!

LMB!

-RG

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Comments (11)
user avatar
User #2287480 - 16 May 19 12:52
Will see you there Ralph!!
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User #9118210 - 16 May 19 09:05
See you there!
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User #555082 - 16 May 19 12:31
Gutted I can’t make this but have fun everyone. Show was great last night!
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User #9164974 - 16 May 19 09:14
Gutted I'm missing it but still riding that babble-on high
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User #6563995 - 16 May 19 09:03
I wish I could get there. Still, it was great seeing Babble-On in Birmingham.
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User #8545349 - 16 May 19 09:02
Sod London, come to Cardiff instead! LMB
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User #9102242 - 16 May 19 09:01
Goddamn. The. Time. Difference.
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User #9079302 - 16 May 19 09:14
See you later
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User #10088783 - 16 May 19 11:28
We’re in. See you there.
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User #9414343 - 16 May 19 19:25
Cheers for making the time Ralph and Steve. Awesome to meet you both and other members of the garmy!! LmB
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User #7609617 - 16 May 19 10:05
See you there!
THE RALPH REPORT for Thursday, March 28th, 2019
THE RALPH REPORT for Thursday, March 28th, 2019more_vert
2019-03-28T12:01:00+00:00
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THE RALPH REPORT for Thursday, March 28th, 2019 2019-03-28T12:01:00+00:00close

On today's THE RALPH REPORT: BE AFRAID! CRIMINAL CELEBRITIES are on the loose! Also, we apologize to Canadians (as well as some other folks)! More interview with VEEP's TIM SIMONS! And, HARD-HITTING journalism with an in-depth report on the world of TOPLESS MAID SERVICES!



Comments (13)
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User #9378777 - 28 Mar 19 17:39
Justin in Alabama -- 4 years and 9 months here. Ralph is right on every turn. Don't beat yourself up. It sucks to lose that time only to start again, but remember -- WE DON'T SHOOT OUR WOUNDED IN AA. Keep coming back, and as Ralph says -- just worry about today. We're all working on the same 24 hours, brother. And by the way, Ralph -- Sly Stallone for sure, but don't forget Chumbawamba!! ...uh, LMB!
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User #619312 - 28 Mar 19 19:42
Thanks to the dude who called out Ralph for saying that Blues Traveller was a one hit wonder. AAAND THE HOOOK BRINGSSS YOU BAAAAaaaAAACK!!!!
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User #8855114 - 28 Mar 19 16:59
#bluesnation 😂🤘🏼
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User #8326119 - 29 Mar 19 15:21
Also, I feel Ralph would be an excellent nude maid. Glue some buffer pads to his giant wrinkle purse and let him wander around the house. Call it the Ralph Roomba (patent pending)
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User #9420029 - 29 Mar 19 06:55
I see a soup-sicle tasting at the next live show. LOL
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User #4748505 - 28 Mar 19 14:02
First we have Darren and his Scottish accent. Now we have Dylan and his Canadian accent.
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User #9164974 - 28 Mar 19 21:17
I can't believe Ralph aired Dylan, I've never heard such an angry Canadian before
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User #8326119 - 29 Mar 19 14:52
So, Cardi B? Does "B" stand for "Billcosby"?
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User #12849533 - 27 Apr 19 08:41
Dylan seems a bit angry, but in fact, he is a very good man and does not blame his Canadian accent. He speaks normally. Personally, I understand everything he says
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User #7227965 - 28 Mar 19 18:40
Next Eddie's Drunk Thoughts....dandelions
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User #9125506 - 28 Mar 19 14:20
My formative years were in the 90s and I had never heard the song “Hook” before. That was some Dave Matthews type garbage
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theralphreport - 28 Mar 19 17:03
Actually, it is a criticism of "Dave Matthews type garbage". Very clever lyrics.
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User #9125506 - 28 Mar 19 18:42
If that was the intent then they nailed it 😂
Support THE RALPH REPORT! 2019-02-23T22:59:37+00:00

Good news, Garmy!

There's a great new way to support TRR, that doesn't cost you a thing!

If you ever use Amazon.com, please buy/order through our new THE RALPH REPORT Amazon page.

It's a great way to support TRR, at no cost to you! Amazon will give TRR a % of sales on qualifying items from their end. So, you can support TRR, just by buying the stuff you would normally buy through Amazon, anyway!

https://www.amazon.com/shop/RalphGarman


Thanks, guys!

LMB!

-RG

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Comments (11)
user avatar
User #9226017 - 23 Feb 19 23:01
The ralph report should tweet this, maybe post on facebook too.
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User #17017119 - 24 Feb 19 05:26
Alright! Scrapple Love the stuff!
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User #9121846 - 23 Feb 19 23:11
What!? Wow.
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User #9114206 - 23 Feb 19 23:02
Does this work on Amazon.cs as well?
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User #12061708 - 23 Feb 19 23:02
Hi Ralph, maybe you should set up one on Amazon Canada as well. Taxes and expenses are killer when buying from the US
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theralphreport - 24 Feb 19 00:37
Working on that!
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User #727897 - 23 Feb 19 23:02
Will there be a Canadian link as well?
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User #9013244 - 24 Feb 19 18:40
!!
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User #9125506 - 25 Feb 19 06:40
Is there a way to set the Amazon App on my phone to do this?
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User #4688159 - 23 Feb 19 23:25
Hopefully Canada can get a link also would love to support Ralph this way
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theralphreport - 24 Feb 19 01:02
Lots of you guys have asked if I could set up a Canadian amazon account for TRR, too, so you can also shop via out new dedicated Amazon page ... Well, BOOM! Ask and ye shall receive, eh? https://www.amazon.ca/shop/ralphgarman LMB! -RG
This holiday, give "THE GIFT OF RALPH"! 2018-11-30T18:56:29+00:00
Seasons' greetings, Garmy!

We have some fun new ideas for great GARMY and THE RALPH REPORT related stuff that you can give to someone you love, or even yourself!


First, if you like THE RALPH REPORT, why not share it with someone in your life that you think would like it, too?!

Now, you can turn a friend into a 1,2,3 or 4 STAR GENERAL in the Garmy and treat them to THE RALPH REPORT for a whole year! (Credit card required.)

You can give THE RALPH REPORT to someone for a year by clicking right here and filling out the "Gift Me" form:

https://theralphreport.com/gift-me/


Second, now, you can have Ralph record a holiday greeting for someone you love! Or, have Ralph record their outgoing voicemail message as one of his impressions! Or, have him record their whole damn audio book! Or, any combo of the above! Get creative!

These are just a few of the options available in the brand new "RALPH GARMAN VOICE EMPORIUM"!

This is your chance to hire Ralph to give the gift of his voice talents and create something fun for someone you love! Or, for yourself! (After alll ... Who do you love more than YOU?!)

You can explore all the possibilities and book your Ralph voice recording right here:

https://theralphreport.com/voice-emporium/


And, lastly, there's the good old gift of THE RALPH REPORT MERCHANDISE!

Click here: https://theralphreport.com/merchandise/

Click on a design you like, and scroll down to see all the merch that is available featuring that design!

(The winning design for the MERCH-TOBER MADNESS contest to be added soon!)


So, this year, have a very Garmy holiday and GIVE THE GIFT OF RALPH!!!!

LMB!








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Comments (4)
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User #4254190 - 1 Dec 18 07:54
Hi Ralph. I'm all about to hit the trigger on some voice work, but wondering if you can suggest some music -- be it one time or recurring loop. I need some voices AND some music transitions and stings. Any suggestions or referrals are appreciated. given the recent hate for in-and-out burger, I have to leave you with a "Fuck YOU Eddie!". LMB
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User #9083038 - 30 Nov 18 18:59
I'm so excited to have Trump give my outgoing message!
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User #9681507 - 30 Nov 18 19:54
2 questions. Is $100 the cost if I wanted Ralph to do an intro for my podcast or is it more? Also for the gift of the Ralph report, does it have to be the full year?
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User #8326119 - 30 Nov 18 20:33
Wow Ralph! Now I really want to do some more writing. Your 3 hour session fee is a steal!
ROUND THREE of THE RALPH REPORT merch design battle! 2018-11-10T17:19:33+00:00

Choose your favorite between these two popular designs!

The poll will only be open for 24 hours, so pick your favorite today!

Only one vote per Garmy general!



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Comments (22)
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User #9648929 - 10 Nov 18 17:57
If this doesn't win overall it should be the image used for the "Ralph Chronicles" noir series. Lol
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User #9662804 - 11 Nov 18 08:31 - revision 2
Yeah. I was thinking that!! ?
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User #9662804 - 11 Nov 18 08:31
Yeah. I was thinking that!! ?
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User #13492913 - 11 Nov 18 02:33
Gah... both are great!! So hard to pick!
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User #9628509 - 10 Nov 18 17:45
Sophie's choice!
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User #11810354 - 10 Nov 18 17:43 - revision 2
Don’t know if I can choose here, one would be awesome on a T-shirt, and one would be awesome everywhere else...
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User #730998 - 10 Nov 18 18:07
The second one should be a poster for the live shows.
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User #13885062 - 11 Nov 18 19:35
Keep up the good work :)
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User #10680084 - 10 Nov 18 17:42
Maybe he's looking in a mirror.
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User #9440162 - 10 Nov 18 17:52 - revision 2
Can I vote more than one time in the rat pack this is my FAVORITE of all so far ❤️
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User #9090831 - 10 Nov 18 18:53
I just wanted the artist of the first one to know that they did a really great job! This was a tough matchup.
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User #9410110 - 11 Nov 18 01:01
Thanks Jillian! I appreciate the support!
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User #9662804 - 11 Nov 18 08:35
Just wanted to say dude. Loved yours too. Was honoured to feature next to yours. Great work!!!
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User #9410110 - 11 Nov 18 22:32
Thank you, Wesley! You were some stuff competition for sure. Good luck in the later rounds!
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User #9662804 - 12 Nov 18 09:28
Thanks Brian! I think Ralph is sure to make a Ralph's Steaks t-shirt aswell. It's too good not to use :-)
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User #9440162 - 10 Nov 18 17:52
Can I vote more than one time in the rat pack this is my FAVORITE of all so far ❤️
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User #10680084 - 10 Nov 18 17:32
Eddie's pocket square is on the wrong side.
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User #11810354 - 10 Nov 18 17:41
It is, but I still love the hell out of this design
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User #9628509 - 10 Nov 18 17:46
Eddie's pocket square WOULD be on the wrong side...
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User #11810354 - 10 Nov 18 17:43
Don’t know if I can choose here, one would be awesome on a T-shirt, and one would be awesome everywhere else...
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User #9090780 - 10 Nov 18 18:37
I can already here the sax! TRR Noir: Frank Garmin, P.I. and his mob informant, ”Eddie Boof” aka “Picky Penceroni” aka “Peaches”
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User #9090780 - 10 Nov 18 18:37 - revision 2
I can already here the sax! TRR Noir: Frank Garmin, P.I. and his mob informant, ”Eddie Boof” aka “Picky Penceroni” aka “Peaches”
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User #9107741 - 10 Nov 18 22:22
Is there gonna be the geometric Ralph available? I would buy that
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User #98567 - 10 Nov 18 20:22
I am also considering the amount of plastic that's on my chest . It's a cool poster but the potential for heat rash.... cheese steak gets my vote
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User #4181044 - 11 Nov 18 00:25
I agree. I would love it as a poster but the Ralph’s steaks I would actually wear
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User #4181044 - 11 Nov 18 00:25 - revision 2
I agree. I would love it as a poster but the Ralph’s steaks I would actually wear
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User #9410110 - 11 Nov 18 01:01
Hopefully it’ll live on after this contest!
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User #9410110 - 11 Nov 18 01:01 - revision 2
Hopefully it’ll live on after this contest!
"The Bondage Mask"!
"The Bondage Mask"!more_vert
2018-10-31T19:29:11+00:00
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"The Bondage Mask"! 2018-10-31T19:29:11+00:00close

HAPPY HALLOWEEN! Celebrate the holiday with this "lost" (and surprisingly kinky) song by the genius behind "The Monster Mash"! (As featured on today's THE RALPH REPORT!)

Comments (19)
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User #2827930 - 1 Nov 18 16:51
When Ralph explained to Eddie why he no longer believed in ghost by saying "Because I grew the fuck up. And I became NOT an idiot", I hurt a rib laughing. That line is now immortal to me.
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User #9360619 - 31 Oct 18 19:59
Great job, Ralph!
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User #6204519 - 1 Nov 18 05:52
Once it got to the chorus I knew, but for a brief moment, man, I was buying it
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User #9417504 - 1 Nov 18 15:25
LOL the Bobby Pickett bit was the best, I had to listen to it all over again ???
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User #9104719 - 3 Nov 18 02:35
Me too! It was the best!
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User #5047938 - 1 Nov 18 03:07
I look like the Gimp!!!! Pure ???
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User #9118210 - 31 Oct 18 20:10
Eddies favorate ?
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User #9393531 - 31 Oct 18 20:52
This song might be one of the best TRR moments to date! I listened to it three times, and still can't stop crying laughing!
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User #3463330 - 31 Oct 18 20:56
I’m betting the Climate Change one has to be a radio station parody like that last bondage one was. A little too “on the nose” sort of thing.
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User #9393531 - 31 Oct 18 20:58
I think that one was real, I think that's part of the reason Ralph did this one, trying to be even more ridiculous that the climate change one!
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User #3463330 - 31 Oct 18 21:01
Yeah I just saw the Wiki page, THE CAPTAIN IS WRONG!
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User #9662804 - 1 Nov 18 09:17
Haha. This bit was hilarious. The impression was a dead ringer too
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User #3463330 - 1 Nov 18 23:10
I wonder if that was done for this, or not something done at KROQ.
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theralphreport - 2 Nov 18 00:03
It was new.
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User #11621592 - 31 Oct 18 19:58
too funny! Thanks Ralph!
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User #9075725 - 31 Oct 18 19:40
What... no BULLWHIP?!? RAAAAAALLLLPH (lmb)!!!!!?
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User #9118681 - 31 Oct 18 19:36
Good Halloween song, or greatest Halloween song?
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User #3463330 - 31 Oct 18 20:52
Yesterday I was going to suggest, jokingly of course, that “Thriller” was today’s song! But that has to be up there. Zombie Jamboree, Werewolves of London as well.
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User #9830515 - 31 Oct 18 19:38
My new ring tone, ring back tone, theme song for life!!
Additional MERCH-tober poll ENTRIES ... 2018-10-29T02:10:51+00:00



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Comments (10)
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User #9223035 - 29 Oct 18 04:39
That’s even better, to bad it doesn’t say Frank
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User #9223035 - 29 Oct 18 04:39 - revision 2
That’s even better, to bad it doesn’t say Frank
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User #9372326 - 29 Oct 18 06:13
Voted for Sinatra, but for fuck's sake please make the artist fix that egregious typo!
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theralphreport - 29 Oct 18 04:27
Holy crap! I looked at that pic 100 times and never noticed! HA!
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User #4254190 - 29 Oct 18 03:39
In my head cannon, pence's pocket square is a couple pieces of peach skin
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User #7609617 - 29 Oct 18 12:49 - revision 2
I don’t think mine has been included? I guess it didnt make the cut! ?
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User #9416461 - 29 Oct 18 03:39
Just an FYI, Ralph is misspelled in the Sinatra one!
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User #4928900 - 29 Oct 18 18:53
Classic artist move. Spending 2 weeks on getting those likness down, spends 0 minutes on looking at stupid text LOL. Luckily that's a 2 minute fix. Amazing artwork, it's damn fantastic, my favorite thus far.
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User #9662804 - 2 Nov 18 04:34
Glad you guys noticed the typo! I missed it too. Ha. That's what happens when I drink and type! Thanks for the great feedback ?
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User #7609617 - 29 Oct 18 12:49
I don’t think mine has been included? I guess it didnt make the cut! ?
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User #3647995 - 29 Oct 18 13:56 - revision 2
I think it was listed in last week’s entries!
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User #3647995 - 29 Oct 18 13:56
I think it was listed in last week’s entries!
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User #7609617 - 29 Oct 18 17:37 - revision 2
Ah okay, cool. I wondered if I’d missed it. Thank you.
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User #7609617 - 29 Oct 18 17:37
Ah okay, cool. I wondered if I’d missed it. Thank you.
Newest MERCH-tober Madness poll 2018-10-29T02:07:09+00:00

Scroll to the end to vote for your favorite!





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Comments (5)
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User #9875762 - 29 Oct 18 02:40
The Fallout collection is my favourite but the GarMan one is great too.
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User #9143501 - 29 Oct 18 02:36
That Eddie print with the icky food is everything.
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User #9098557 - 29 Oct 18 04:13
We still need patches!!!!
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User #10042195 - 29 Oct 18 03:17
I'd buy the full set of fallout t shirts for $80-100 if sold that way.
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User #9395069 - 29 Oct 18 03:31
I absolutely need a Jumbalo Skrimps tshirt! That picture makes me laugh every time I look at it
More voting for MERCH Madness! (Take a look and scroll down to vote) 2018-10-21T23:29:21+00:00





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Comments (6)
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User #4761404 - 22 Oct 18 13:12
#merchtober
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User #98567 - 22 Oct 18 00:13
My wife screams "EDDIE!" at our cat named Edward all the time. I should buy that one for her...
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User #9194546 - 21 Oct 18 23:31
I voted top 2
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User #9322142 - 21 Oct 18 23:37
The Eddie is Wrong one cracked me up.
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User #182587 - 22 Oct 18 10:15
the Garmy's got talent :)
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User #9126228 - 21 Oct 18 23:32
That second one screaming “Eddie!” You can just hear the sound clip - Well done!!
ONE-HIT WONDERS! 2018-06-22T19:25:19+00:00

For those who asked ... Here's the Spotify playlist for all the one-hit wonders from THE RALPH REPORT's "One-Hit Wonder Wednesdays"!

https://spoti.fi/2MQ33sq


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Comments (6)
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User #11940031 - 25 Jun 18 21:01
love you guys
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User #10654770 - 24 Jun 18 15:10
:D
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User #11733548 - 25 Jun 18 15:05
Bless
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User #13885062 - 2 Oct 18 13:59
Love it <3
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User #12049480 - 2 Jul 18 03:36
great
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User #9078440 - 22 Jun 18 19:26
Cheers?
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User #9078440 - 22 Jun 18 19:26 - revision 2
Cheers?
A quiet night at home ...
A quiet night at home ...more_vert
2018-05-19T04:20:33+00:00
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A quiet night at home ... 2018-05-19T04:20:33+00:00close

Just hanging with my friends Jack and Frank.

Comments (20)
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User #9078465 - 19 May 18 04:21
Hats looks amazing
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User #10033527 - 19 May 18 04:21
Cheers, brother.
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User #7541152 - 19 May 18 04:21
Skøl!
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User #9078465 - 19 May 18 04:21
That*
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User #9139283 - 19 May 18 04:21
Holy hangovers, Garman!
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User #2937898 - 19 May 18 04:22
Better to have a bottle in front of me instead of a frontal lobotomy. :D
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User #9083484 - 19 May 18 04:21
Thank you for all your inspiration Ralph
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User #10042128 - 19 May 18 04:22
Salute !
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User #9780363 - 19 May 18 04:21
Hey Ralph.
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User #9208418 - 19 May 18 04:21
When will you and your wife have a new couples adventure segment ?
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User #7150208 - 19 May 18 04:21
Good evening
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User #9135671 - 19 May 18 04:22
Hope you drank the pear juice first.
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User #9078964 - 19 May 18 04:21
Cheers!!!
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User #8855114 - 19 May 18 04:22
I just made some awesome homemade seven layer burritos...so much better than taco bell
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User #9718685 - 19 May 18 04:21
Hey Ralph
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User #9058941 - 19 May 18 04:21
Just hanging with my friends Naked Chicken Chalupa and White Russian...
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User #9135671 - 19 May 18 04:21 - revision 2
Hell yeah!!!??
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User #9408208 - 19 May 18 04:21
Hello Ralph
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User #719242 - 19 May 18 04:22
Hi Ralph - loving your podcast!
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User #9135671 - 19 May 18 04:21
Hell yeah!!!??
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User #9329731 - 19 May 18 04:22
Hi Ralph. End everybody else, too!
Today's show is late ... Sorry! 2018-05-15T15:55:08+00:00

I don't know why the show didn't post as scheduled, but, I just reposted it, and it seems to be there now. Sorry for the tech glitch. Enjoy!

-RG

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Comments (16)
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User #9124486 - 15 May 18 16:52
As a 4 Star I must say.... it's cool. Glad all is okay.
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User #9423521 - 1 Jun 18 21:45
Hey, man, I took a lot of acid in the early 90's, and this gave me flashbacks. There should be a disclaimer on this like they do for shit that causes epileptic fits!
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User #10148512 - 15 May 18 20:49
nice
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User #9972879 - 15 May 18 15:56 - revision 2
It’s cool, just glad it’s up. ?
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User #9751394 - 9 Feb 19 19:54
Cant listen to this episode?
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User #5353884 - 16 May 18 03:30
No worries ?
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User #4688159 - 15 May 18 16:23
No problem, glad it was able to be posted again. I was missing it this morning, just a tad bit of Ralph withdrawal.
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User #11436492 - 26 May 18 03:04
Nooo
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User #9473539 - 15 May 18 18:30 - revision 2
Don’t let it happen again!!! ?
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User #9473539 - 15 May 18 18:30
Don’t let it happen again!!! ?
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User #11188908 - 15 May 18 16:03
Now I can start my day :)
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User #6205570 - 15 May 18 16:17
No worries Ralph! Happy to finally listen.
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User #9324706 - 15 May 18 16:02
Thank you for bbn posting it. I was starting to have Ralph withdrawal
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User #9083491 - 15 May 18 16:04
Is anyone else having issues with the patreon app? I don't see any posts past 04/24 besides this one...
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User #9972879 - 15 May 18 15:56
It’s cool, just glad it’s up. ?
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User #9106954 - 15 May 18 16:35
bastard!
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User #9448686 - 15 May 18 16:03
Dang it Ralph, missed you during my commute...but good to know it was just a tech glitch and not a real life emergency
Delay in today's show ... Sorry about that! 2018-04-24T17:12:23+00:00

There was a technical difficulty in getting today's show posted, but it's been sorted out. It should be okay now!

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Comments (10)
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User #10054063 - 24 Apr 18 17:14
Will save it for tomorrow mornings commute to work
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User #9082276 - 24 Apr 18 17:13
Thanks! Saving it for the commute home :)
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User #2532129 - 24 Apr 18 17:16
Thanks Ralph!
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User #9083356 - 24 Apr 18 17:25
Don't know which is worse, no morning coffee or no morning TRR :)
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User #9967282 - 24 Apr 18 17:14
Thanks for being so conscientious of your listeners. You’re a sweetie!
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User #9447548 - 24 Apr 18 17:17
Kick those technical gremlins right in their balls.
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User #595827 - 24 Apr 18 17:13
Gracias Generlisimo!
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User #9787030 - 24 Apr 18 17:14
Just glad you’re alright man! I was worried somethin happened when the show wasn’t put up this morning
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User #10026435 - 24 Apr 18 17:16
Meaning you didn't hit send? This is totally unacceptable. JK That's it I'm gonna upgrade my Star to have the right to complain more. Take my money!
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User #9105575 - 24 Apr 18 17:13
Thanks Ralph!
THE RALPH REPORT for Monday, April 2, 2018
THE RALPH REPORT for Monday, April 2, 2018more_vert
2018-04-02T13:00:01+00:00
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Happy Monday! THE RALPH REPORT is fresh out of the audio oven! Today's show: Goodbye to the legendary, Steven Bochco. One man's way to quit smoking! And, PART ONE of the interview with TV comedy super-genius, David Mandel!
Comments (11)
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User #9433094 - 2 Apr 18 18:06
Does anybody else have problems with the Ralph report playing? every time I listen to The Ralph report on Patreon anywhere from 15 to 30 minutes it just stops playing. No it's not buffering....
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User #5825677 - 2 Apr 18 13:06
The way you quit smoking is a way I've suggested to people and they look at me like I'm crazy. There is a device that will do what you did but also have you smoke at certain times, ie every hour, and if you skip that hour you can't have two during your next time and will over time cut back how man you can have during the day. The trick with that is it slowly builds up your desire to not have them and weens you off them, so your withdraw is gradual and won't be as severe when you fully stop.
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User #9433094 - 2 Apr 18 18:27
I also forgot to mention that when you go to hit the play button sometimes it will just start over or it just won't play at all
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User #9109251 - 2 Apr 18 13:12
Only if we can get rid of all the Hallmark holidays. Fuck valentines
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User #9324824 - 2 Apr 18 21:11
April Fool's is a Hallmark holiday? lol when was the last time you bought an April Fool's card?
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User #9412367 - 2 Apr 18 17:52
Ha-ha! I thought the exact same thing about April Fools and Easter. :)
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User #2946792 - 2 Apr 18 14:09
Much like how New Years Eve and St. Patrick’s Day can be considered amateur day for drinkers April Fools Day is amateur day for people thinking they’re funny.
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User #9786659 - 2 Apr 18 13:48
Hey Ralph glad your back! Can’t wait for Wednesday’s one hit wonder! Not sure if you know but Kevin mentioned you last week on his show! Something about an interview with paramore! That show hasn’t been the same since you left; you can literally hear the void you left on that show! But it beats the woody show. Thank you for the Ralph Report!
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User #9109251 - 2 Apr 18 13:18
Yea! Skiing over snow boarding
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User #9109251 - 2 Apr 18 13:09
Thank you. Young mc and bust a move and target can blow me
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User #9102242 - 2 Apr 18 15:24
I tried quitting cigarettes multiple times over the last ten years - Patches, Chantix, cold turkey, tapering with willpower - Honestly, marriage and a vape have done it where nothing else could. So glad your method worked for you, Ralph, few things have felt as good as no longer smoking cigarettes.
Calling all the GARMY lawyers! 2018-03-25T19:43:06+00:00

I've been thinking about doing some legal help segments on the show, and I was wondering if there were any lawyers out there in the Garmy that would like to to participate on the show?!

It would be great if you had some expertise in any of these potential discussion topics:

WILLS/ESTATE PLANNING/POWER OF ATTORNEY, ETC.

COPYRIGHT LAW

CRIMINAL DEFENSE

TAX LAW

If you'd like to be on the show as a guest, drop me a line at: Ralph@TheRalphReport.com!

Thanks!

Love ya! Mean it!

-RG



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Comments (10)
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User #10358818 - 25 Mar 18 23:30
Good job
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User #9786659 - 26 Mar 18 02:57
Can’t wait for one hit wonder Wednesday! More adds for my TrainRide playlist!
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User #206667 - 25 Mar 18 19:56
Maybe you could do a cross-promotion with a legal podcast like Opening Arguments?
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User #9967282 - 26 Mar 18 01:15
What a fantastic Idea. I’m really enjoying your podcast Ralph. Pleas keep up the good work.
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User #9127821 - 25 Mar 18 19:45
First thing I thought when I saw the title of this post was oh shit, what’s Lovitz gone and done now?
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User #9077199 - 25 Mar 18 20:00
Let’s also get traffic lawyers too! Always loved the segments on the chuckle head show when they had the traffic laws explained
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User #6489888 - 26 Mar 18 01:47
I partnered with a service that offers wills and trusts for $500. If you dealt with that before, you know thats a great price.
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User #8920368 - 25 Mar 18 23:18
Nice
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User #9423975 - 25 Mar 18 19:49
Reaching out to my mother-in-law for the estate law stuff that’s her field.
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User #9109251 - 26 Mar 18 12:33
Simply writing down your preferences and having that notarized is not enough! A dr or family member can easily overturn that
THE RALPH REPORT for Thursday, March 22nd, 2018
THE RALPH REPORT for Thursday, March 22nd, 2018more_vert
2018-03-22T13:00:00+00:00
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It's THE RALPH REPORT for Thursday, March 22nd! Today's show: Is bisexuality twice as nice? Messages from THE RALPH REPORT hotline! And, the story of how Jonah Ray wound up stuck on the Satellite of Love on MST3K! www.patreon.com/theralphreport

Comments (18)
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User #9486997 - 24 Mar 18 01:34
You know, in reference to Sex University's bisexual topic, i found it very interesting and had extensive conversation on tge subject. My wife is bisexual, im heterosexual. Ive found myself envious of the bisexual community and ive described myself as "unfortunately heterosexual ". As much as i enjoy sex, sexuality, and intimacy, to be attracted exclusively to females, feels like ive been genetically ripped off. I will say that because of this, I have a clear understanding that it isn't about choice, it's being born this way.
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User #9109251 - 22 Mar 18 13:13
One hit wonder caller never saw almost famous?
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User #8763557 - 22 Mar 18 22:43
as a hetero that part about bisexuality was quite interesting....you dont hear that much about their side of things....well done sir
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User #4748505 - 23 Mar 18 00:25
We don’t get much chance to speak about being bi. We can sometimes be the “red headed step children” of the LGBTQ community.
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User #8763557 - 23 Mar 18 21:21
shame....all human perspective are interesting and deserve understanding
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User #9092550 - 22 Mar 18 17:56
Hey Ralph! Jonah hit on something, I too would listen when I was driving and sometimes sat in my car if you were on and wait for either a bit or the showbiz beat to end before walking into my office. I think you should do more bits I miss those. I do love the show (I listen to it as soon as you load it) but I think I miss your bits! I can't remember the last time you made me spit my coffee out at work or laughed out loud in cubical land!
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User #10359261 - 22 Mar 18 17:37
WE PRODUCE 100% GENUINE UNDETECTABLE COUNTERFEIT MONEY OF MOST CURRENCIES AND WE GIVE AT VERY CHEAP RATE, WE ALSO OFFER FACE TO FACE BUSINESS SO THAT YOU CAN ACTUALLY SEE HOW WE PRODUCE THE NOTES AND ALSO GET TO GO TEST SAMPLES BEFORE PLACING ORDER.. CONTACT (WHATSAPP : +4915215387133)
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User #3709628 - 22 Mar 18 18:55
Sweet - There's this Nigerian guy who is totally trying to get me to send him money, I think if I send him your cash - I'm quids in! - win-win, hit me up on grinder, my handle is 'swipe left'
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User #3709628 - 22 Mar 18 19:00
Awesome, theres this Nigerian guy who totally wants me to send him money. Can I get a few grand to test out your service? I'll absolutely split the millions from him and his wealthy oil field owning family
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User #10359261 - 22 Mar 18 19:07
contact me on whatsapp now so we can talk on that. waiting
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User #3709628 - 22 Mar 18 22:16
cool - message sent...lookimg ferwerd to a boyntiful most makyestic union between hour too companies and naytion Do you have a single sister with big possibility?
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User #10359261 - 22 Mar 18 22:38
i havent got any message from you yet. you must have made a mistake with the contact +4915215387133
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User #6363765 - 23 Mar 18 20:38
LULZ
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User #10358818 - 22 Mar 18 18:17
Hello can you check my page? :) <3
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User #182587 - 22 Mar 18 15:50
I also don't think the Pixies are an obscure band.
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User #9086394 - 22 Mar 18 22:14
Love the show Ralph, sex u is a great segment. Jonah Ray is great. Thank you.
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User #9436376 - 22 Mar 18 14:11
Thank you, Ralph.
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User #3310138 - 23 Mar 18 22:52
LOVE BRENTON WOOD! So much so that I have a Brenton Wood Pandora station. Only two hits!?!? Wow
THE RALPH REPORT for Friday, March 16th, 2018
THE RALPH REPORT for Friday, March 16th, 2018more_vert
2018-03-16T13:00:02+00:00
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It's THE RALPH REPORT for your Friday pleasure! Today's show: TOMB RAIDER and more new movies this weekend! An update from the UK with @steveashton! And, who is desperate enough to ask for life advice from THE RALPH REPORT?! www.patreon.com/theralphreport

Comments (13)
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User #9449508 - 16 Mar 18 15:38
I am really going dig the Ralph's Opinion segment
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User #9081648 - 16 Mar 18 16:18
me too?
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User #9109251 - 16 Mar 18 13:02
#killyourliver
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User #9090780 - 16 Mar 18 13:22
The official St. Patrick’s Day Hashtag ??
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User #9081648 - 16 Mar 18 14:08
Yay Livi! Love the movie review??? Keep up the great work!
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User #9109251 - 16 Mar 18 13:31
Kari ??????
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User #3360126 - 16 Mar 18 13:01
New Tomb Raider game in September too. Shadow of the Tomb Raider.
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User #9109251 - 16 Mar 18 13:33
Aaah mst3k!!!
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User #9109251 - 16 Mar 18 13:18
Movie beat needs a new intro
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User #9436970 - 16 Mar 18 14:55
Awwww, your daughter is so cute and a damn good movie reviewer :)
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User #9415051 - 16 Mar 18 17:16
I have mixed feelings about Toys 'R Us closing. It was the store I always wanted to go to, but my parents always bought them from somewhere else. As I grew up, I understood that Toys 'R Us wasn't the place to go for deals and my parents were price shoppers. Working on the business side of retail, I now see that it isn't that Amazon ate them or the store experience is dead, it's just that the world changes and any company has to be where their customers are going. Toys 'R Us had the market and,at one point, was theirs to lose. Customers go to stores and also shop online. The closer retailers link those two experiences the better they do. Best Buy is still hanging around when everyone thought they would be dead by now. No reason Toys 'R Us couldn't have adapted like they did.
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User #9109251 - 16 Mar 18 17:24
It's Toys Are We, not Toys R Us. They were doomed from the start. -the female bean
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User #9109251 - 16 Mar 18 13:07
I heart radio bankrupt 20bil holy sh*t
THE RALPH REPORT for Monday, March 12th, 2018
THE RALPH REPORT for Monday, March 12th, 2018more_vert
2018-03-12T13:01:00+00:00
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Today's episode: More calls from THE RALPH REPORT hotline! Daylight Savings sucks! And, the hilarious "Meredith" from THE OFFICE, Kate Flannery!

Comments (11)
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User #9108230 - 12 Mar 18 15:15
this stupid fucking time change!
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User #3360126 - 12 Mar 18 13:19
Don't feel bad Ralph, I spent my weekend geting drunk watching old Led Zeppelin concerts.
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User #3360126 - 12 Mar 18 13:10
Got fifteen inches of snow where I live. Suppose to get fifteen more tomorrow. Portland, Maine.
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User #9756882 - 12 Mar 18 14:53
Good morning everyone! Gotta listen a little later, but wanted to check in my Garmy family. Have a great week. Love you all! Love to Ralph, Kari and Olivia...
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User #9155772 - 12 Mar 18 13:43
RALPH! Been a fan of yours since day one - THANK GOD you have your own show! I will stream your next livestream for $FREE.99! I used to run the Facebook LA studios. I have cameras, lights, audio, a switcher, everything. I'd kill to work with you. I'm in Burbank. Hit me up!
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User #9155772 - 12 Mar 18 14:07
Just so you know I'm not full of shit... https://www.instagram.com/p/BLRjnUOjyXD/
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User #9394682 - 12 Mar 18 13:18
Daylights Savings was started in WW1 by Germany to conserve fuel according to this informative and funny watch from Last Week Tonight with John Oliver. https://youtu.be/br0NW9ufUUw
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User #10166728 - 12 Mar 18 13:58
I am Garmy strong
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User #3360126 - 12 Mar 18 13:18
Johnnie Walker for life.
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User #9365799 - 12 Mar 18 14:15
I’m interested and concerned to find out how my credit fits in with sex university. ?
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User #9109251 - 12 Mar 18 13:01
Saving
THE RALPH REPORT for Wednesday, March 7th, 2018
THE RALPH REPORT for Wednesday, March 7th, 2018more_vert
2018-03-07T14:01:00+00:00
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Today's all-new episode! More with Shawn Hatosy! The origin of Gonorrhea Boy! And, facing PHOBIAS!

Comments (12)
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User #9148417 - 7 Mar 18 17:24
My wife watches the Wendy Williams show and can't stand the f$%#ing show, she gets pissed when I make fun of that show, quoting some of the lines from Ralph lol
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User #3360126 - 7 Mar 18 14:20
Fuck Rocky Maivia!!! ???
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User #9109251 - 7 Mar 18 14:10
What? No bachelor in paradise next??
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User #4748505 - 7 Mar 18 14:14
Chat will be 1:00 PM U.S. East Coast time.
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User #3360126 - 7 Mar 18 14:16
Three hours ahead from PST, for the ppl that didn't know.
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User #2532129 - 7 Mar 18 15:49
Rebecca YOU ARE A FANTASTIC PARENT!!!!! Lol
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User #9109251 - 7 Mar 18 14:20
Laughing on the metro like a crazy person thanks a lot Steve
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User #10132632 - 7 Mar 18 23:13
Why couldn't you just tell your buddy Seth to make you a Red Shirt, like you deserve. #ProblemSolved. #YoureWelcome
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User #9087826 - 7 Mar 18 19:29
I've got to say, never watched Baywatch on TV, but saw the movie and... loved it! It was completely stupid and I laughed my ass off!
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User #3360126 - 7 Mar 18 19:37
Same. The Rock has a good comedy side.
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User #9145980 - 7 Mar 18 20:10
6pm UK Time for the chat
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User #3360126 - 7 Mar 18 14:03
Thought he was going to call Justin a cunt. ???
THE RALPH REPORT for Tuesday, March 6th, 2018
THE RALPH REPORT for Tuesday, March 6th, 2018more_vert
2018-03-06T14:00:00+00:00
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THE RALPH REPORT for Tuesday, March 6th, 2018 2018-03-06T14:00:00+00:00close

This episode: The first interview highlight with the spectacular Shawn Hatosy! A recap of the (almost) BACHELOR finale! The debut of the RALPH REPORT hotline!

Comments (15)
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User #8026072 - 6 Mar 18 16:06
Can't wait to get drunk Friday night and call the Ralph hotline!
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User #9090780 - 6 Mar 18 16:51
What’d I miss?
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User #9109251 - 6 Mar 18 14:38
Again I love the bachelor recaps because I DONT watch the show
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User #9116288 - 6 Mar 18 22:25
I've never watched the show either but the recaps are always fun
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User #5319956 - 6 Mar 18 15:29
I don't like The Bachelor but I enjoy these recaps with your wife. My enjoyment comes from your (and your wife's) love of the show. Thanks for the reasonably priced funny!
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User #10092976 - 6 Mar 18 14:03
Star of some of my favorite movies. "Outside Providence" "The Faculty". Thanks for having him on.
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User #3360126 - 6 Mar 18 14:33
Is that a bong, dido? ???
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User #10092976 - 6 Mar 18 14:34
It's "DILDO"
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User #3360126 - 6 Mar 18 16:14
Phone doesn't recognize that word. It spelled out that way. ?
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User #9109251 - 6 Mar 18 14:02
An interview with someone I've never heard of. Only you could make this interesting. Over the all are welcome kid drop
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User #6201665 - 6 Mar 18 17:14
I don't watch The Bachelor, but I enjoy hearing you & your wife talk about it! It also helps me in office conversation as most of my co-workers watch. Thanks for keeping me up to date! Also second the Kathy Grifgin request!
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User #9109251 - 6 Mar 18 14:08
Oh please interview kathy griffin!
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User #10092976 - 6 Mar 18 16:35
No,it's a horn.
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User #3360126 - 6 Mar 18 17:14
Play a couple notes. ?
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User #9436376 - 6 Mar 18 14:32
Thank you, Ralph.
"Ask Missy Martinez"! 2018-03-06T00:24:52+00:00

I'll be asking porn star, Missy Martinez listeners' questions about the adult film industry tomorrow, so, if you have a question you'd like to submit, send it to me at : Ralph@theralphreport.com!

-RG

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Comments (9)
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User #7869017 - 6 Mar 18 06:02
How does the money work in the industry? What do taxes look like? Do she get paid in checks then deposit those in a bank or is it direct deposit or cash? What do most in the industry do for insurance?
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User #9082655 - 6 Mar 18 01:53
My question is how common is it for entertainers to be in relationships outside of the industry? Do you find it difficult dating when you were single? What about other entertainers you know since you already found love.
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User #10033470 - 6 Mar 18 22:15
Hopefully still on time ! just mailed you a Q good sir !
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User #10064946 - 6 Mar 18 11:50
what is something she learned about herself since she took part in the industry and what does she think is the one common mistake men make when they think of sex
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User #9088700 - 6 Mar 18 00:37
Hi Ralph, First, thank you so much for the Kentucky bit with my niece Elizabeth, you now have a few new fans and, hopefully, a subscriber or two. She loved it and you were very kind, as always. I am loving this segment and I’ve always been curious about the “taboo” world of adult entertainment. Thank you in advance to Missy and you for broaching this topic. I grew up in the very conservative Mid-West where the churches would have one believe anybody in the adult entertainment industry, of any kind, were rather “damaged goods”. My question is, to the best of your knowledge, what percentage of performers have completely happy and well adjusted lives and friendships? Give us the real image of reality vs propaganda. Further, what are the resources for those that work in the industry as far as health coverage both physical and mental? Can people get help if and when they need it? How hard (no pun intended) is it to go from the “adult” path to something more mainstream? Is it the wicked mind of the devil at work or is everyone just having a good time naked and on camera? Asking for a friend.? Love you Ralph!! Lee Anne
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User #4748505 - 6 Mar 18 00:31
Already sent mine in via email.
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User #9423371 - 6 Mar 18 00:29
Love the Ralph Report!!! My question for Missy would be " I have a little gut, some moons but can last a while, would I marketable in the porn industry?"
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User #9208418 - 6 Mar 18 08:05
Sent mine via email. ?
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User #9408694 - 6 Mar 18 00:31
If you have first hand experience with feature dancing: Are there any unexpected pitfalls to traveling and working with clubs? Any funny stories from time on the road?
Sorry for the late delivery today ... 2018-03-02T18:10:41+00:00

Hey gang!

Sorry that Friday's THE RALPH REPORT was published a few hours later than usual. Here's what happened ...

Sometimes, if I'm done producing the show earlier than expected, I can schedule it to self-publish at a certain time in the morning, and then I can can go back to bed a grab a few extra hours of sleep.

So, that's what I did today. I finished early, so I scheduled the podcast to drop at six o'clock ... PM. Accidently. Because I'm a dumbass.

And, when I woke to folks asking "Where's the show, dumbass?", I got it out there as quickly as I could.

Sorry.

But, I hope you enjoy Part One on my interview with Kevin Smith, and be sure to listen to Part Two when I post it on Monday. At six o'clock. AM.

Have a great weekend!

-RG

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Comments (63)
user avatar
User #9116450 - 2 Mar 18 21:36
Thank you so much for this Ralph.
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User #9097242 - 2 Mar 18 18:32
You are literally a one man operation and it’s all greatly appreciated. Thank you, I mean it!
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User #9712348 - 3 Mar 18 03:29
Ralph, literally none of the cool people care. Just the buttholes. Loving the podcast!
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User #4477651 - 2 Mar 18 18:41
I'm glad you got some extra z's!
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User #9114855 - 2 Mar 18 18:39
Even though my day was almost ruined, glad it was just an "oops." No worries. Love you Ralph!!
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User #9704852 - 2 Mar 18 20:53
???????
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User #9486997 - 2 Mar 18 20:48
Shit happens, Ralph. No worries. Thanks for being considerate and further proving that you are a class act.
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User #9090977 - 2 Mar 18 18:20
No worries.. Still love ya.. I mean it!
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User #9380389 - 2 Mar 18 18:12
I'm loving it!
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User #182587 - 2 Mar 18 21:07
No worries man
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User #9433318 - 2 Mar 18 21:25
Don't even give it a second thought! You're the best and you're doing fine! Have a great weekend:)
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User #9584318 - 2 Mar 18 23:11
Lol ? No worries!
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User #9080973 - 2 Mar 18 18:32
What? You are human?
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User #4380864 - 2 Mar 18 19:47
Omg that made me laugh..lol All good senor! I actually overslept myself today, by accidentally turning off my alarm. ??‍♂️ Oops... I just blamed the full moon. Lol Now I have something to get me through lunch! Can’t wait to listen. Have a great weekend!
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User #9135671 - 2 Mar 18 18:25
I forgive you Ralph. I’m glad I wasn’t going insane because it was throwing off my days since I’m catching up on the Ralph Reports from earlier in the week.
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User #9089564 - 2 Mar 18 18:12
Love the podcast and also love sitting with you through the learning curve. Thanks for the affordable funny!
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User #3310138 - 2 Mar 18 18:46
Hope you had a good nap!! ;)
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User #3360126 - 2 Mar 18 18:48
Now that I've heard this, it's my turn to nap. ???
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User #7275349 - 2 Mar 18 21:02
It must be great to have few concerns in life that this is a problem. Always worth the wait Ralph, don't worry about minor crap like this.
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User #7631858 - 2 Mar 18 19:38
No worries. You have had one heck of a week personally and professionally.
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User #9423371 - 3 Mar 18 00:27
Garmy! Garmy! Garmy!
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User #9077001 - 2 Mar 18 18:17
Okay I'm laughing cause this is a funny reason for the show being late. No big deal man love the show keep up the good work.
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User #9115845 - 2 Mar 18 21:59
Thank you!
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User #9097195 - 2 Mar 18 18:13
Love that it wasn’t a technical problem!!! GREAT INTERVIEW ?❤️
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User #10033527 - 2 Mar 18 19:13
I just woke up. No problem BROTHER
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User #3210604 - 2 Mar 18 18:12
Already listening Ralph! No worries at all!!!
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User #9967282 - 2 Mar 18 20:10
It’s all good my man. Thank you for being so considerate. You Rule.
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User #4575615 - 2 Mar 18 20:31
I do social media and that has happened to me so many times >_<
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User #9103122 - 2 Mar 18 18:18
Ralph, it's a shitty rainy Friday. You are forgiven. Go forth and never worry about delays. We got you.
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User #3360126 - 2 Mar 18 18:20
Yup, been raining in Maine all morning. Ocean is flooding hardcore.
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User #6795658 - 3 Mar 18 01:39
Thank you. One of the things that makes me glad to support you is your transparency. Garmy strong.
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User #9536550 - 2 Mar 18 18:12
I just woke up, so it’s all good.
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User #9419511 - 2 Mar 18 21:03
Thanks for all that you do
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User #9082276 - 2 Mar 18 18:14
I’ve done that plenty of times with my alarm! Looking forward to listening on my commute home❤️
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User #9077416 - 2 Mar 18 18:15
Hey Ralph don’t worry we can wait for your stuff cause it’s always worth wild to wait for quality material
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User #9432027 - 2 Mar 18 18:36
Thank you Ralph!!!
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User #9077500 - 2 Mar 18 18:46
I do that with my alarm clock a lot. Ha ha.
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User #8320687 - 2 Mar 18 22:38
It happens..
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User #9107528 - 2 Mar 18 19:55
we all make mistakes but yours just makes us all laugh
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User #5314098 - 2 Mar 18 18:12
Happens to the best of us. I scheduled one of mine for 3 days EARLY last week. Go take a nap, thanks for getting Kevin on-mic, it’s good to hear his voice after the scare over the weekend.
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User #9083598 - 2 Mar 18 18:17
No worries brotha, I'm sure it'll be great. Can't wait!
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User #9757859 - 3 Mar 18 01:37
Love you Ralph! Love to Kevin!
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User #9083356 - 2 Mar 18 18:19
All good, Ralph!
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User #9089328 - 2 Mar 18 19:07
We no forgive you! Garmy SMASH!!!! Kidding. Thanks for the update.
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User #9447720 - 2 Mar 18 18:11
Hahahaha
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User #9755440 - 2 Mar 18 18:21
great episode ralph it was worth the wait cant wait to the second part on Monday
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User #9108953 - 3 Mar 18 16:49
i was worried something happened with you or kev! glad everything's alright :) PM or AM, anytime is Ralph Report time.
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User #2930460 - 2 Mar 18 18:26
It's all good Ralph. We are only human. Great show by the way.
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User #9102242 - 2 Mar 18 18:23
Thanks for the transparency, looking forward to listening to both parts back to back on Monday!
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User #9133738 - 2 Mar 18 18:13
No worries man u also have s life
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User #9089483 - 2 Mar 18 18:21
No worries Ralph love you man
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User #9200479 - 3 Mar 18 14:42
Mistakes happen. Love the show Ralph. Keep em’ coming!
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User #5825677 - 2 Mar 18 18:46
And now for Shit that We should not see. Here's some Shit that Should not Beeeeeeee
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User #9434693 - 2 Mar 18 18:12
Thanks Ralph!
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User #9128870 - 2 Mar 18 19:21
Meh. We all make mistakes. Have a good weekend!
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User #9181657 - 2 Mar 18 18:16
Gotta love what four fingers of Jack Daniels does to you! LOL
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User #9584322 - 2 Mar 18 18:12
No problem Ralph keep up the good work
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User #9408694 - 2 Mar 18 18:16
After years of free funny, I have no bitching.
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User #3360126 - 2 Mar 18 18:19
Exactly.
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User #3360126 - 2 Mar 18 18:15
Apology accepted, but I knew it would show up eventually
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User #9936537 - 2 Mar 18 18:21
Everyone is so nice...so I want to say TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE!!!! No. Just kidding. I'm still two weeks behind, so it's TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE that I SUBSCRIBED LATE! So I say, SORRY TO YOU RALPH!!!! :( You da best!
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User #9122625 - 2 Mar 18 18:14
Love you Ralph!
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User #9139283 - 2 Mar 18 18:12
No worries, Ralph! Love you, mean it.
THE RALPH REPORT for Friday, March 2nd, 2018
THE RALPH REPORT for Friday, March 2nd, 2018more_vert
2018-03-02T17:34:39+00:00
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THE RALPH REPORT for Friday, March 2nd, 2018 2018-03-02T17:34:39+00:00close

Part One of an exclusive interview with Kevin Smith.

Part Two will be posted on Monday's episode.

Comments (33)
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User #8855114 - 2 Mar 18 21:03
I’m so glad he pulled through. My late husband had the same ordeal, but unfortunately he didn’t make it. He was 44, about two and a half years ago. I don’t mean to be a Debby Downer, but these things happen. You gotta take care of yourself and quit ignoring what your body tells you. Somebody loves you and wants you to be around for a while.
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User #9426845 - 2 Mar 18 18:00
I haven't started the podcast yet, but I just saw your interview get a shout out on the front page of reddit!
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User #9083484 - 2 Mar 18 17:43
Thank you for this Ralph it’s really appreciated much love. Grarmy strong!
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User #9109251 - 3 Mar 18 01:53
k smith is the rare person who can pull off saying "bro" ????
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User #9107911 - 2 Mar 18 22:28
Kevin is fucking rock star! I love his perspective on life.
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User #9417916 - 2 Mar 18 23:43
Kevin, thank you for giving this interview. It was very interesting and hilarious at the same time. I needed a good laugh and I sure got it. So glad you're doing well. I hope kroq asked you for an interview and you told them to F'off! Ralph keep up the great work!
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User #9936537 - 2 Mar 18 21:47
Oh my bad. U already did. Happ subs day.
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User #9756882 - 3 Mar 18 00:28
I had my heart checked last yr for my colonoscopy... (I’d rather the doc see my dick) but I’m getting checked more often. I have 18, 4 & 2 yr old boys. I’m gonna be 38.
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User #9109251 - 3 Mar 18 01:52
mooboobs! Lol
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User #9109251 - 3 Mar 18 01:24
The fat cave lol!
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User #9756882 - 3 Mar 18 00:24
This blew my fucking mind!! What a pain in the ass with the shirt & dick. I teared up a bunch during this. I’m glad he’s the same dude, though. Thank you BOTH! And to all my Garmy brothers and sisters, to steal it from Ralph, I LOVE YOU! I mean it.
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User #3360126 - 2 Mar 18 17:51
And what do we say to death? Not today!!! - that's the GoT thing Kevin is thinking of
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User #9162974 - 3 Mar 18 15:51
So good to hear him cracking funny, somehow makes it feel like everything is going to be okay
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User #3360126 - 2 Mar 18 18:29
I was watching the Twitch stream when that happened.
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User #9090780 - 2 Mar 18 17:42
Loving the interview, I’ve been backing it up so much I’m barely halfway through... ?
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User #9378777 - 2 Mar 18 19:16
Did Kevin insist that the doctors also operate with the lights off?
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User #3360126 - 2 Mar 18 20:34
And with his clothes on.
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User #8855114 - 2 Mar 18 20:38
Under the blankets, through a hole in his pajamas
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User #9135474 - 2 Mar 18 18:42
Kevin can make a positive out of anything. I love that man. Get well soon.
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User #9415686 - 2 Mar 18 17:38
Woo! Glad it got worked out!
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User #3360126 - 2 Mar 18 18:34
I'm in Ralph's boat, it doesn't help that we both have used a lot of cocaine, that's not so great for a heart either.
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User #9109251 - 3 Mar 18 01:51
Not your milk, not your mom -hailey smith
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User #9083356 - 2 Mar 18 17:40
Something to listen to on my way home now ?
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User #9127363 - 2 Mar 18 17:44
Is it exclusive because you are the only one who could or the only one who would interview him? :)
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User #9348400 - 2 Mar 18 17:46
"Snitches get Stitches and this is the place for that to happen"
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User #3360126 - 2 Mar 18 17:49
Left outlined in chalk. ???
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User #9400433 - 2 Mar 18 23:28
Thank you both for doing this interview... <3 you both so much...
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User #9936537 - 2 Mar 18 21:45
Ralph. Your interview with Kevin has made the front page of MSN and Google Entertainment News. Mentions both The Ralph Report and HBO. Hope you get an influx of subs! Maybe you should toss this one up on Soundcloud for free. Get dem subs.
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User #9090780 - 2 Mar 18 17:40
Attaboy, Ralph! ?
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User #9703970 - 3 Mar 18 16:11
What a great interview.
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User #3360126 - 2 Mar 18 18:16
"I survived the Widowmaker and all I got was this stupid shirt" If I lived in LA I'd make you one Kevin. ???
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User #9436376 - 2 Mar 18 17:39
Thank you, Ralph!
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User #3360126 - 2 Mar 18 17:35
Finally. Thanks Ralph. ?
Problems with Apple/iTunes podcast players 2018-03-01T19:10:28+00:00

Hi gang! Ralph here ...

We've become aware of the problem some of you are having getting the latest THE RALPH REPORT to show up in your Apple podcast player.

We're looking into it to find out why this happened.

In the meantime, here's a fix that many are having success with!

Un-subscribe from THE RALPH REPORT in your Apple player, then, RE-subscribe, using your private audio RSS feed link.

https://patreon.zendesk.com/hc/en-us/articles/115000877506-How-do-I-add-my-private-RSS-link-to-the-Apple-Podcast-App-

Lots of folks are saying this gets the show properly delivered to them again.

We are investigating this glitch and will keep you posted.

(Also, know that you can listen to the show on the Patreon page, or via the downloadable Patreon phone app until we get this fixed.)

As always, thanks for your patience and support!

GARMY STRONG!

-RG


flag
Comments (61)
user avatar
User #9704852 - 2 Mar 18 15:36
I’m getting it in Apple podcasts!
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User #9134950 - 2 Mar 18 15:54
It’s in apple Podcast. Not here for some reason
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User #9571702 - 1 Mar 18 19:57
I prefer the patreon app because it saves the time signature on all episodes even if you've closed the app and relaunch it.
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User #9415686 - 2 Mar 18 15:36
Yeah the Patreon feed doesn't show today's episode. HOWEVER it is on the Soundcloud feed. I think he may have just uploaded to the wrong site and is unaware. https://soundcloud.com/theralphreport Don't be too salty though, he's a production of one and mistakes can happen.
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User #9412367 - 2 Mar 18 17:51
Thanks Shaun! :)
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User #9542711 - 1 Mar 18 21:21
Curious. ? I’ve got overcast on almost everything is listen to. Save for a few; like Nerdist only holds the 500 most recent episodes when other apps hold them all.
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User #9089328 - 2 Mar 18 15:44
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User #9415686 - 2 Mar 18 15:51
Scroll up to my last comment, it's on Soundcloud (I think he updated it there instead of here and is unaware)
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User #9089328 - 2 Mar 18 15:56
Thanks Shaun. It's not appearing in my Kindle Fire podcasts app for some reason.
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User #9455972 - 1 Mar 18 19:19
Once the email is deleted how do you get the link again?
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User #9216239 - 2 Mar 18 17:58
I received the personal RSS feed to download but it was a dead link. Can I have it resent somehow?
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User #9421223 - 2 Mar 18 17:38
Hey, this one's a little off topic but...I'm new to Patreon and I've been having some trouble playing the show from my android phone. I usually just open Patreon in the browser, but I have issues with the show freezing and it never picks up where I left off. Is there a better way to listen with a Samsung? Thanks!
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User #9421223 - 3 Mar 18 00:05
Nevermind! Just found my email with the link to the RSS feed. Hooray!
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User #3360126 - 2 Mar 18 15:19
I don't have this email.
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User #9265843 - 2 Mar 18 15:11
Saw a tweet the Friday episode has been posted but can't find it here?
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User #9092809 - 2 Mar 18 16:47
No go for me too, hopefully it's fixed soon.
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User #9103417 - 1 Mar 18 19:34
Appreciate the tip, but where can I find the RSS link? I deleted the email with it back in January (when I first subscribed).
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User #9216990 - 1 Mar 18 23:54
Ralph, please look at my Twitter DM request! Trying to get you connected to Blizzard Entertainment, and No Masks are required. Contact email is: mbernheim@blizzard.com
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User #9175163 - 2 Mar 18 04:32
You can email him: hbopodcast@aol.com he's pretty active there. He has another email address but I'm not sure how public that is.
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theralphreport - 2 Mar 18 05:05
Ralph@theralphreport.com
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User #9080973 - 2 Mar 18 14:52
Stopped working again with the Friday episode
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User #9439322 - 2 Mar 18 15:04
Idk if the Friday episode has been posted yet? I would think it’d show on the Patreon site
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User #9482731 - 2 Mar 18 16:51
Me too. I'm stopping trying for this morning. I got my receipt yesterday but no email today and no access through the old links. I really want to hear that interview with Kevin.
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User #9452913 - 2 Mar 18 16:23
Not up on Overcast either
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User #9584322 - 1 Mar 18 19:12
I can’t find my personal feed
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User #9113130 - 2 Mar 18 15:37
Hey ralph march 2Mrs episode is NOT available on patreon yet
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User #9408694 - 1 Mar 18 19:15
Patreon app plays just fine. I'm not against having one whole app just for Ralph.
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User #9082543 - 2 Mar 18 16:17
I can’t get to it either!
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User #9414226 - 1 Mar 18 19:21
Thanks Ralph! #Garmy
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User #9089328 - 2 Mar 18 16:08
Not on Patreon or in my Apple and Kindle Podcast apps. Probably just an oversight and Ralph will be in the middle of eating lunch when he discovers it. I can imagine food and obscenities flying as he tries to fix it.
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User #9125446 - 2 Mar 18 18:22
None of this seems to work with the pocketcast app
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User #9329731 - 1 Mar 18 19:14
Thanks Ralph. Wow. Less than an hour after sending you an email about it, too!
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User #9415137 - 2 Mar 18 15:30
Hey Ralph - Happy Friday! Sorry but not seeing the episode in Patreon. Hang in there and let the Garmy know when its up. Stay awesome!
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User #9569605 - 2 Mar 18 01:55
Seems to be all good on the Apple Podcast App now. At least on my side... I was just about to unsubscribe but the episodes were there. Thanks for the update though!
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User #6369032 - 2 Mar 18 12:25
Just a quick question: does ralph answer masseges here, on patreon? Or only comments? Also, does THE RALPH REPORT site contact page sends emails to Ralph@theralphreport.com or somewhere else?
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User #9858411 - 1 Mar 18 19:51
Don’t know if anyone else has had the problem, but I use Overcast for podcasts, and the same thing happened there. Tuesday’s show is the last one to show up (same as the Apple Podcast app)
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User #9542711 - 1 Mar 18 21:03
iPhone overcast app? Because the show itself won’t load in mine. Only Apple
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User #9158540 - 1 Mar 18 21:37
I'm guessing everyone gets their own RSS feed link but I'm going back to every email I've ever gotten from Patreon & I was never sent a RSS link. Am I the only one with this problem? I've been listening to the podcast on the site not knowing I could hear it on the Podcast app.
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User #9085536 - 1 Mar 18 22:01
I had to get a second one sent after contacting support, back in January...
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User #9087695 - 2 Mar 18 15:53
Ryan Shevlin, how did you contact support? I can’t find anywhere to do this
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User #7583499 - 2 Mar 18 17:44
I never saw one either. I'd love to be able to get the feed in my podcast app instead of the (kinda unreliable) patreon app. I've looked on the page but I'm not seeing an rss link. Any help?
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User #9082702 - 1 Mar 18 19:24
I had to log in to patreon through the browser on my phone and then go towards the bottom of the creator page to get the link to the RSS feed, it doesn't appear in the app.
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User #9085536 - 1 Mar 18 22:00
I haven’t been having a problem with the Podcasts app on my iPhone, even after recently updating to ios11 and its most recent update...
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User #9101351 - 1 Mar 18 19:25
Was having this problem....Ralph Report not showing up in my Apple podcast player. Did as instructed....unsubscribed and tried to resubscribe with my private RSS link. Got error message that the RSS feed is no longer available. Anyone else having this problem?
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User #9087695 - 1 Mar 18 19:35
Yes! Had the same thing happen. Now all that shows up is the Monday free episodes. I got the Patreon app and downloaded the episodes there. It’s just easier with the Apple App when I listen in my car (Apple CarPlay) as I have to physically go to my phone to press play in the Patreon app
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User #9101351 - 2 Mar 18 17:47
UPDATE: Must have been working on the bug yesterday, and why my private RSS link wasn't working. Tried to subscribe with the RSS link through my Apple podcast player again today, and all is working fine now.
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User #9097195 - 2 Mar 18 16:43
Today’s Kev. Interview not showing up on Patreon app. I am able to listen on iTunes though.
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theralphreport - 2 Mar 18 05:25
Thanks, Ian!
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User #9542711 - 1 Mar 18 21:01
I prefer overcast but it won’t load into my iPhone 6 overcast app. Only iTunes which I try to avoid overall since I’ve had consistent crashes on the Apple podcast app alone.
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User #9858411 - 1 Mar 18 21:06
I got it to show back up in the Podcast app using the directions in Ralph’s comment here, but it’s still not showing up in Overcast.
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User #9569425 - 2 Mar 18 16:29
Not there. I didn't get the daily email with it either ?
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User #9400433 - 2 Mar 18 23:27
I just download it on my laptop... Zero problems, unless I can't remember my password... ;)
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User #9142302 - 1 Mar 18 19:55
Huh......no problems here using thr Apple Podcasts app from Day 1....shows up every day for me.
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User #9857334 - 1 Mar 18 19:12
Thank you!
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User #9255497 - 2 Mar 18 19:45
I keep getting a how to link, but not the actual RSS feed link. I'm getting the run around.
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User #9125738 - 2 Mar 18 16:44
Still not up for me. I've tried on the patreon app, website and my podcast app. Even tried unsubscribing and subscribing again, no dice.
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User #9116526 - 2 Mar 18 17:08
A few posts up in this comments section, Shaun Rosado posted today's interview with Kevin on the Soundcloud link. You can hear it there. Thanks Shaun!
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User #9415686 - 2 Mar 18 17:10
You're welcome! Gotta help out where I can, right?
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User #9116526 - 2 Mar 18 17:20
For sure!
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User #9604378 - 1 Mar 18 20:53
Thanks sir, I was wondering why I'm only getting the "freebies" and if I had to use the Patreon app to hear the rest...
THE RALPH REPORT for Thursday, March 1st, 2018
THE RALPH REPORT for Thursday, March 1st, 2018more_vert
2018-03-01T14:00:01+00:00
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THE RALPH REPORT for Thursday, March 1st, 2018 2018-03-01T14:00:01+00:00close

Today's episode: Entertainment news from the UK with Steve Ashton! The wonderful world of THREESOMES! And, Colin Hanks talk about his amazing documentary, ALL THINGS MUST PASS!

Comments (30)
user avatar
User #9411066 - 1 Mar 18 15:00
Hey Garmy: I, too, wasn’t getting the last two shows in the Apple Podcasts app. I deleted the show from my library and then re-subscribed by copying the RSS link on the homepage back into the app. That seems to have worked; I now have access to all episodes. Give it a try! (tl;dr: refresh your RSS link).
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User #9086394 - 1 Mar 18 22:57
Colin is a great interview. Thank you Ralph for another great episode.
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User #7102900 - 1 Mar 18 16:32
Sorry if I sound like a man-pig, but Elsa being a lesbian is sexy as hell.
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User #9378777 - 1 Mar 18 22:17
For what it's worth, my Fantasy Football team this most recent season was "The Salacious Crumbs." Finished a respectable 3rd out of 12. Used the exact same photo as my avatar.
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User #7102900 - 2 Mar 18 00:31
One of my favorite (minor) SW characters. Gooooo Crumbs!
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User #7492545 - 1 Mar 18 14:51
I haven't got the last two days on my iPhone either and I have been a 3 star from day one. Before that it has shown up every day since the original launch.
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User #7492545 - 1 Mar 18 15:10
I went to the overview section at the top and copied the URL and added it to my podcast stream again and now it is showing all the episodes.
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User #9321917 - 1 Mar 18 18:32
The Council for Family Fuckheads is the best thing Iv'e heard in a while. LMAO Right on Ralph!
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User #9609075 - 1 Mar 18 14:42
Noooooo!!! He who shall not be mentioned had a birthday. ???
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User #9415798 - 1 Mar 18 21:21
Who has the proper link.
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User #9424897 - 1 Mar 18 15:06
That totally worked! Thanks Jahan! Garmy Strong!!
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User #9415798 - 1 Mar 18 21:20
Frozen 2 biggest hit will be “ Would you like to eat my box now.”
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User #9423941 - 1 Mar 18 17:05
I am glad that I’m not the only one having the same issues with iPhone
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User #9784729 - 1 Mar 18 14:42
This will now show up in my apple podcast! I’ve paid, and restarted my phone. This is the second day! I look forward to Ralph every morning! Please help!
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User #9424897 - 1 Mar 18 14:58
I deleted from my iPad so I could re-add but when I go to find it in the podcasts only the free Monday one is there. I think that is the issue is that the main podcast is no longer on iTunes!!??
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User #9087284 - 1 Mar 18 16:50
Thank you Kari!
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User #10002084 - 1 Mar 18 19:58
Does anyone know, can we only listen to the show that air after we join or can we go back and listen to previous ones?
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User #9081648 - 1 Mar 18 14:41
Again... Steve Ashton is one funny SOB! Love, love, love the news from across the pond?
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User #9363664 - 1 Mar 18 14:18
Day 2 of this not showing up in my iPhone Podcast app. ?
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User #9091174 - 1 Mar 18 14:20
Me too!
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User #9081648 - 1 Mar 18 14:42
Me 3... I download from this app now... hopefully fixed soon
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User #8857052 - 1 Mar 18 16:22
Hi All, Ralphs wife Kati here. We are aware of this issue with the Apple podcast app that started yesterday. We push to all the podcast apps from SoundCloud and we have not changed anything, so we are assuming this is an issue with the push from SoundCloud to Apple. Working on it! In the meantime, try downloading the free Patreon app to your iPhone. Works as a great backup to listen to all the shows. I’ll try to keep you posted on the issue! Kari
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User #9109639 - 1 Mar 18 17:10
Thanks for the info Kari!
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User #9089749 - 1 Mar 18 18:55
Hi Ralph, in all seriousness, have you tried any kind of daily confrontation with your issues? Ask the Doc if some kind of incremental face coverage will help you build a normalized reaction to it? Maybe taking a stocking cap and covering you ears and eyes for 20 minutes, and build that time up, them maybe completely coving your face up. In time use a facemask, get comfortable with that, then maybe buy a cheap rubber mask and get used to wearing that? Just shootin' from the hip on a thought to help you out.
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User #9609075 - 1 Mar 18 14:43
Corey; I believe only the Monday freebies are on iTunes. The rest of the stuff we pay for is via Patreon app.
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User #9081648 - 1 Mar 18 15:31
Actually Jeff... by using the RSS feed from Patreon we’re able to download daily from iTunes... it’s just not working right now. I’m downloading from this app in the meantime.
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User #9109251 - 1 Mar 18 14:05
K smith!
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User #9090780 - 1 Mar 18 15:08
Hey Ralph, what about the elusive twosome? ???
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User #9378777 - 1 Mar 18 22:19
As someone who is willing to use Apple products but isn't a militant member of the "Apple Religion," which is how some of you treat it, I do take a bit of guilty pleasure when an Apple product Heaven forbid performs less than perfectly.
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User #9109251 - 1 Mar 18 14:04
Steve!
THE RALPH REPORT for Wednesday, February 28, 2018
THE RALPH REPORT for Wednesday, February 28, 2018more_vert
2018-02-28T14:01:00+00:00
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THE RALPH REPORT for Wednesday, February 28, 2018 2018-02-28T14:01:00+00:00close

Today's episode: My disaster aboard THE ORVILLE! Theme park jewels in the desert! And, Colin Hanks talks about Peter Jackson's KING KONG!

Comments (54)
user avatar
User #9412041 - 28 Feb 18 17:13
I missed surly Ralph, the no-holds-barred Ralph that speaks his mind. It's nice to hear he's still there.
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User #9216990 - 1 Mar 18 18:49
Ralph this is why I love you! You know trivia about the Wizard of Oz. In addition Margaret Hamilton also suffered skin burns from the make-up as she disappeared down the trap door, while she departs Munchkin Land :)
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User #9090780 - 28 Feb 18 14:45
Disaster? Uh oh... since you posted, this I’m assuming all is well. Thanks, Ralph. ?
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User #9090780 - 28 Feb 18 15:24
That Seth MacFarlane... you have some great friends, Ralph. Plus, Nicitero? How cool! Hang in there, Ralph. Irrational fear sucks ass...
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User #485662 - 28 Feb 18 16:01
I know exactly how you feel, Ralph. I had an anxiety condition for decades, and I know of the panic in certain situations. I worked as a casino dealer for years, and often felt trapped and panicky while behind a table. I can't imagine being an actor and having prosthetics like that on my head. PS. I sometimes use Valerian Root to help in such situations. It's available at any drugstore and it works better than most prescription drugs.
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User #9097195 - 28 Feb 18 16:22
RALPH!!!! Thank you soooo much for being real and sharing the challenges in addition to the triumphs in your life. You gotta go back if Seth offers you a different roll!! You gotta get back on that horse!! I work in the entertainment business.... worse things than that happen ALL the time. Don’t let pride/ embarrassment keep you from that set. If another part does not manifest for you, then so be it... but don’t stay away from Orville because you had a common human experience that’s not your fault. You STILL handled yourself in a dignified and professional manner. That’s what you gotta remember. Seth’s and everyone on the set’s kind response is because they KNOW you’re a pro and an extremely talented one at that. Don’t let that one thing define you. We all have these weird quirks. Nothing to be ashamed of.
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User #9936537 - 3 Mar 18 17:53
Ralph. Go back to The Orville!!! Show your face. Be a hard ass admiral! Garmy Strong!
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User #4090423 - 1 Mar 18 20:53
Just commenting to let you know you aren't alone. I suffer from anxiety/panic attacks as well as claustrophobia and some phobias. I tried to get off a ride at Universal once after they closed the door. lol I can't even go on Star Tours at Disneyland anymore because it's so confined. Flying in a plane is rough. I have such a huge fear of snakes that I was at a bar once where some guy was a few feet from the front door holding a snake and I had to go out on the patio and climb over a wall to avoid it, all while hyperventilating and sweating my ass off. My friends thought I was crazy. I am not sure what the medication they gave you is, but Xanax is the ONLY thing that gets me through those times when I can't. That being said, I am not sure anything would work for me in your situation. It sounds dreadful. Just know a lot of us out there know exactly how you feel. You have a wonderful work ethic and everyone there the other day knows that. Like the person above said, many of those people on set probably have some sort of phobia or anxiety and completely understood what was happening.
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User #9083023 - 28 Feb 18 14:38
I had that same experience on Nemo. With a baby strapped to my chest! Cried the whole ride!
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User #4709997 - 28 Feb 18 22:48
Since you were technically wearing full head gear for the character Kanoot. Why can't Seth just find you another role in the show without all that instead? Like some sorta Holographic AI, even Worf from Star Trek TNG just rocked the Forehead makeup
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User #9363664 - 28 Feb 18 15:16
Anyone else not have this show up on the Podcast app on their iPhone? Every other episode has for me but now nothing.
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User #545785 - 28 Feb 18 15:23
I ended up having to unsubscribe and resubscribe to the podcast feed to correct this.
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User #9417504 - 1 Mar 18 01:54
I just tried that and it didn’t work. I’ll give it another day ☹️
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User #9091111 - 1 Mar 18 05:24
I'm having the same problem. Nothing I've tried has worked so far. Hoping it works tomorrow.
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User #9465078 - 28 Feb 18 21:30
Love ya Ralph! cheers
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User #8828628 - 28 Feb 18 14:13
I get the same panic with heights, Ralph! Its sucks doesn't it?
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User #9216990 - 1 Mar 18 18:22
My husband had the same reaction to the submarine ride as well!
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User #9712348 - 28 Feb 18 17:05
DUDE KANOOT WILL BE LIKE BOBA FETT
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User #9156465 - 1 Mar 18 19:54
Ralph, I have anxiety/panic attacks and I know 100% exactly what you felt and went through during that time. I know the shock, the pure insanity of the lack of logic, the self-shame, the dread of causing even one ripple of negative effect on anyone or group of people... I know it all. Lots of us do. Know that you're not alone and that we all just try to do the best we can every day. There's no fault or blame. Your reputation as a professional can still be maintained by stepping up in a different way and making a contribution in ways that you CAN do. Remember that a lot of those people who were being so nice and understanding may also have been coming from a place of experience and personal empathy. They may not have been placating but showing you kindness because they knew exactly what you were going through.
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User #3360126 - 28 Feb 18 14:07
You're like that dude who's in every Pixar movie, just Seth McFarlane instead. ???
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User #5043138 - 28 Feb 18 18:25
You'll be the George Lazenby of Kanoot. But yeah, take a breather and if Seth offers a new role, just think of it as a redo. Lesson learned.
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User #9604728 - 2 Mar 18 20:40
Hey Ralph. Don't be so hard on yourself. Given one of your closest friends just had a brush with death and is still recovering, you would be more susceptible to panic attacks. The events happening in our lives set our baseline stress level, so you were already at a very high stress level, leaving little headroom to handle another stressful situation.
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User #9756882 - 28 Feb 18 23:52
Starting listening now. Just got off... work. Wish u ALL a great and safe day! Ralph, i will Be emailing u in hopes we can do an interview, sir. Love u all!
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User #9315930 - 28 Feb 18 18:31
The only way to make this a positive, is to go back even if it's just for a walk on. As someone who has faced this in a similar cast scenario. If they really liked you, they will feel bad. They probably will give shit of course. They're gonna give you shit, that'll be their way of letting you know, how happy your back. If they don't ,well you may not have been popular. If you don't back , kind of means the phobia won. just sayin
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User #9109251 - 28 Feb 18 14:05
Ooh I hope this story includes bruce willis!
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User #9412367 - 28 Feb 18 21:00
Thanks for sharing your story Ralph, I can't imagine how difficult it must have been to go through that experience. Don't beat yourself up, you have no control over your phobia. I'm sure that's what bothers you most about it, you couldn't control the situation. But I'm sure that's why Seth and the crew were so understanding. They knew you weren't doing it on purpose, and your working history with Seth has already proved that you are a professional and very talented, otherwise he wouldn't have entertained the idea of offering you another part on his show. I agree with Connie's comment, if another opportunity arises take it, I'm sure those Hollywood people have seen some shit, and deal with people who actually are trying to be difficult. You are a good guy, who had a bad day. They know that, and in time it'll be forgotten. :)
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User #4424836 - 1 Mar 18 00:46
I totally get that fear feeling you get. I found out I have a fear of heights. I did not find out until I went to a live show in a theater and had to sit on the second floor balcony. The balcony was at a declined angle and when I sat down and looked at the stage I started to freak out, even moving my head down I felt like I was going to fall over and fall to the first floor. I had to get out of my seat and sit on the stairs and stare at the floor just so I did not feel like I was going to plummet to my death. It was a pure dread scared for my life feeling like even though I was sitting down I felt like I was falling to my death. Thankfully the good people at the theater gave me a first floor seat so I could still enjoy the show.
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User #9088700 - 1 Mar 18 05:08
Hi Ralph,
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User #9138382 - 28 Feb 18 22:11
Sorry to hear that you went through that, Ralph. Its a humbling experience i am sure. But I do believe you should go back. Cause if this show does pop, you deserve to be on one of those Con panels, not as a host, but an actual Panelist. Even if you don't go back, it will work out. Hope the best for you!
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User #9604329 - 28 Feb 18 17:33
Looks like I need to add Warner Bros World to my bucket list! Such an awesome segment. Keep it up! This show is my new favorite part of my morning routine
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User #9088700 - 1 Mar 18 05:13
So sorry you went through that. Try not to beat yourself up, there was really no way to know that you would react so severely. Plus, you tried everything you could, and by all accounts, everyone was totally understanding. Anyone that has heard or knows anything about you is your professionalism. I won’t lie, it was damn entertaining hearing you retell it. Tells me how terrifying it must have been. Thank you for sharing and we can all relate in some fashion. Sucks to be mere humans, huh? Keep up the great work.??
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User #3360126 - 28 Feb 18 20:43
I've never been to Disney, world or land.
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User #730998 - 1 Mar 18 15:16
I had a instance of my phobia kicking my ass yesterday. I'm petrified of heights. I was on a lift for work, got to the ceiling (about 25ft high) and i couldn't release my hand from the safety bar. I lower it to the floor and takes about 3 minutes to let go. Crazy how our bodies just do their own things sometimes.
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User #7102900 - 28 Feb 18 16:21
I hate those goddamn Disneyland submarines too!
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User #9109251 - 1 Mar 18 01:48
Where's the pinky and the brain amusement ride? Animaniacs? ?
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User #9104584 - 28 Feb 18 20:59
That's a shame, man. I really enjoy The Orville but I understand. You can't do what you can't do.
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User #9135169 - 28 Feb 18 18:39
Ralph, here's what you do about your Character. Ask Seth to write that your character gets a face change every so often to spice things up in life. It's the future! Surely it can be done by that time. You get some make -up put on and bammo! Everything is good again! Maybe make it an every season type of thing. Hope it works out though. You'll be missed on that show though if you don't do it. Keep up all the great work!
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User #9380511 - 1 Mar 18 07:04
I also have severe claustrophobia so I know exactly what you mean! For some reason I also can't go to an Imax movie theater that has sharp declined angle seats. Also difficult for me to go to live indoor events such as plays and even sometimes movies. Try to hide it the best I can but for some reason I get so anxious and have slight panic attacks! It's nuts because I can be in front of people and on stage no problem, and feel comfortable doing so, but it's when I'm in the audience indoors that my anxiety kicks in. Thank you for sharing your story Ralph. You are not alone!!!
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User #9127363 - 1 Mar 18 14:10
Sorry to hear about your problem. Does that mean you can never be Batman, because you'd have to wear a cowl?
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User #9109251 - 28 Feb 18 14:01
I've been hitting refresh on my browser for three minutes!
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User #3360126 - 28 Feb 18 14:03
You can get push notifications.
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User #9109251 - 28 Feb 18 18:17
I know but my commute ends at 6:15. I don't want to wait for the notification
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User #3360126 - 28 Feb 18 20:44
It's instant, what do you mean wait for it?
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User #9109251 - 1 Mar 18 01:38
Sigh. I cannot believe we are still talking about this. Not everyone has good internet (fuck sprint). By the time my gmail said the report was posted, I would have to click on that link and wait 5min for the Patreon website to load I would already be at work.
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User #3360126 - 1 Mar 18 11:44
I was talking about your phone. Mine is instantly. The moment it's posted, I have a push. How do you think I replied so fast in the first place?
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User #9109251 - 1 Mar 18 13:03
Oh well goooooood for you
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User #3360126 - 1 Mar 18 14:00
Dude I'm trying to help you. But with that attitude, fuck you.
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User #9109251 - 2 Mar 18 01:17
Thanks for the offer but I don't fuck people who look like you
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User #2829529 - 28 Feb 18 19:26
Don't worry Ralph, I guess it was just Kanoot meant to be ;)
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User #9081648 - 28 Feb 18 23:56
file ?
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User #9086394 - 28 Feb 18 22:40
Love the episode Ralph. Thank you.
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User #9363664 - 28 Feb 18 15:27
@jason did you have to delete the show or something? This doesn’t seem to be doing the trick
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User #7275349 - 28 Feb 18 18:26
Same here. Must be an issue with the actual feed.
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User #9760637 - 28 Feb 18 22:34
Ralph, you kanoot keep beating yourself up about this. We love you. We all have a failure to point to that we can grow from.
THE RALPH REPORT for Tuesday, February 27, 2018
THE RALPH REPORT for Tuesday, February 27, 2018more_vert
2018-02-27T14:00:01+00:00
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THE RALPH REPORT for Tuesday, February 27, 2018 2018-02-27T14:00:01+00:00close

Today's episode: An update on our beloved friend, Kevin Smith! The penultimate episode of THE BACHELOR! And, more with the star of CBS's LIFE IN PIECES, Colin Hanks!

Comments (23)
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User #9086394 - 28 Feb 18 01:40
Great episode Ralph. Colin Hanks is so interesting. Thank you.
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User #4090423 - 27 Feb 18 19:47
You so need to watch the show Unreal. It will put The bachelor in perspective. Lol
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User #9081648 - 27 Feb 18 15:34
Thanks for continuing the Bachelor Report, Ralph ? I don’t watch the show but love your perspective and humorous recap.
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User #9729099 - 28 Feb 18 04:52
Kanoot Funko Pops
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User #9447849 - 27 Feb 18 15:04
I will be glad when the fucking Bachelor is over. Way too much of this 36 minute show dedicated to that crap.
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User #6514371 - 27 Feb 18 18:13
Loves it!
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User #9090780 - 27 Feb 18 14:02
?
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User #9449508 - 27 Feb 18 15:46
I hope Ralph can bring on Ari as a guest
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User #9414024 - 27 Feb 18 17:55
me for saying but the American college or cardiology found a big link between cannabis and coronary artery disease. Hope Kev will stay with us a long time and decide for his health ( and nothing else ) he quits. And from one eagle fan to another also hope Ralph eases it up on the ethanol, as I am scared if he might finish in the same boat from his long relationship with jack and senor Cuervo
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User #9492452 - 28 Feb 18 00:20
Hey Ralph. Mate i friggen love the show but i'm really pissed at you! I had never watched an episode of any "reality" TV programme before but dammit if you didn't have me cracking up with laughter at you Bachelor report! I've watched every episode of this series thanks to you! I'll miss you slicing it to ribbons every week until the next season but you know what I won't miss, that god awful theme you play before it, it's fucken woeful man, so much so I literally mute the podcast and count to 10. Other than that, it's my favourite podcast!! Keep up the great work!!
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User #9729099 - 28 Feb 18 04:47
Who'd have thought that "thoughts and prayers" would be the new "cry wolf" of our time.
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User #9109251 - 28 Feb 18 01:26
Don't care about theme parks but I have faith in you to make it interesting
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User #6211511 - 27 Feb 18 14:29
SO happy to hear Kev is doing well!
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User #9712348 - 28 Feb 18 16:26
Finally, the end of the Bachelor! No offense, because Ralph you are very informative and entertaining in those bits so I'm sure it's a huge treat for some people, but boy do I not give a shit about that show XD
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User #3360126 - 27 Feb 18 14:06
Even GRRM even tweeted Kevin.
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User #9416069 - 28 Feb 18 15:17
Ralph - sounds like Owen Wilson can now be another impression for you... wow...
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User #7227965 - 27 Feb 18 15:12
So glad Kevin is recovering well and still has his sense of humor
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User #9982466 - 27 Feb 18 16:20
Great show, Ralph!
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User #9414024 - 27 Feb 18 17:50
Glad
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User #9978184 - 27 Feb 18 17:18
I don't ever pray but I'm gonna pray for Kevin Smith just to piss off all those people hassling Chris Pratt!
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User #9414024 - 27 Feb 18 17:50
glad Kevin is ok. Now for the part everybody will hate
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User #9609075 - 27 Feb 18 14:23
Love the show. So glad it’s going well.
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User #9378777 - 28 Feb 18 17:31
Ralph, was Petros' ass too chapped to sub back in for a Bachelor Report? I love his style, to be honest.
THE RALPH REPORT for Monday, February 26, 2018
THE RALPH REPORT for Monday, February 26, 2018more_vert
2018-02-26T14:00:59+00:00
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THE RALPH REPORT for Monday, February 26, 2018 2018-02-26T14:00:59+00:00close

Today's episode: Sending all our love and healing thoughts to my buddy, Kevin Smith! Olivia Garman reviews PETER RABBIT! And, this week's special guest, Colin Hanks!

Comments (34)
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User #9378777 - 26 Feb 18 18:47
Great show today under very serious circumstances. Thank you for opening up about depression, Ralph, and God bless you, Kevin, and your families. He'll be in my prayers.
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User #9086394 - 27 Feb 18 00:07
Glad to hear Kevin is doing well. Olivia's review was great. The depression info was very enlightening. Colin Hanks is a great interview. Thank you.
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User #9097195 - 26 Feb 18 15:27
Scary scary stuff! So relieved to hear Kevin is doing ok this morning. Sending healing and love to Kevin, his family and you Ralph. We know how much you love him!!
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User #5394387 - 26 Feb 18 14:03
Scary night man.....nearly lost the Robin to your Batman. Thinking of Kev and the whole Smod family :)
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User #9107559 - 26 Feb 18 17:23
Very glad tensile town stiffs won't have another. I know you guys have joked about being one of them in the future. Kevin is one of those few celebrities I feel like I'd be losing a friend. He's been a huge part of my formative years, being a teen in the 90's. Let's help him with a very speedy recovery.
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User #6514371 - 27 Feb 18 19:06
You make me wanna work harder, thanks amigo!
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User #9412367 - 26 Feb 18 22:18
Sending well wishes and hopes for a speedy recovery to Kevin Smith. Ralph another great show as always. Great segment on depression and mental health. Looking forward to learning more about this topic.
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User #7102900 - 26 Feb 18 15:35
I'm too sad to listen to a discussion about depression. Love ya, Kevin!
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User #9081648 - 26 Feb 18 17:46
I see what you did there.?
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User #9081648 - 26 Feb 18 17:46 - revision 2
I see what you did there.?
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User #9127821 - 26 Feb 18 14:13 - revision 2
You say Agavvin, I say Agavinn. Let’s call the whole thing off.
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User #9127821 - 26 Feb 18 14:13
You say Agavvin, I say Agavinn. Let’s call the whole thing off.
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User #9407109 - 1 Mar 18 14:56
best wishes to our beloved kevin smith. get well soon!... cause im still waiting for moose jaws (like jaws but with a moose)
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User #9972509 - 26 Feb 18 23:25
hi
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User #9754058 - 26 Feb 18 18:55
i was supposed to go to babble-on with my brother this weekend but didn't go because my brother lagged it and i would've been fucking heartbroken (no bad pun intended) if I missed out on seeing Kevin before passing and i'm so happy he's alive! thoughts and prayers to one of the best entertainers and best people in the world! hopefeully he stays healthy forever!
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User #9109251 - 26 Feb 18 14:30
Thanks for talking about depression
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User #485662 - 26 Feb 18 18:55
Hi Ralph, please send my best wishes to Kevin. Also, thanks for talking about depression on the show. I have been there and managed to pull myself out with the help of some amazing people. Love you guys, I mean it!
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User #9756882 - 28 Feb 18 16:46
Hey Ralph. Thx for the great show, but specifically for talking about depression and mental illness. When Cornell and Bennington died last yr, i told my wife that in 2016 it was almost ME! Still working on things, but doing a lot better. You and Kevin were a HUGE part of me staying alive after my own family. Thanks to you as well Dr. Sara. Let’s keep this going. This can also be like a group therapy help. Love you all my Garmy and Babble family. May The Force Be With You All! Garmy Strong!
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User #9094939 - 26 Feb 18 17:23
Sending healing thoughts towards Kevin. Good to hear he’s on the mend. The lenghts that man goes to just to not wear a tux are remarkable.
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User #2930460 - 26 Feb 18 16:20
I'm so happy that Kevin is doing good. Buddy Christ looking out for him.
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User #9119760 - 26 Feb 18 15:45
Hi Ralph - I'm so glad you are throwing us topics like depression. I am loving the show so much. I will ask though that you maybe turn down the background music during interviews? I find today's music particularly disruptive. Love you, mean it!
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User #9090780 - 26 Feb 18 14:52
Everyone was crushed last night,... well, concerned. Get well soon, Kev. Thanks as always, Ralph
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User #854740 - 26 Feb 18 16:58
Hey there Ralph. Please send some extra well wishes on my behalf for our man Kev! I'm not on the socials or I'd do it my ding dang self. I'm gonna go listen to the ep now. Hold on Kev!!!!!
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User #9905881 - 27 Feb 18 04:38
Please no more bachelor ... lol when is this show over ? It's all scripted just as bad as khardashians .. the rest of your report is great and worth listening ..
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User #9756882 - 28 Feb 18 16:47
Not a fan of The Bachelor, but I’ll either listen a bit or just skip it bc i love Ralph so much$
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User #3360126 - 26 Feb 18 20:42
Love the doctor segment. But not such a fan of Colin. Oh well whatever nevermind.
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User #9216990 - 26 Feb 18 18:21
Sending Kevin (and you) well wishes, and hugs!
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User #619312 - 27 Feb 18 02:21
I've already commented on Kev's personal IG account, but thanks for the update. Also thanks (to both of you) for being there when we need it.
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User #9485765 - 26 Feb 18 14:08
I'm gonna be so disappointed if Ralph doesn't ask Colin about Chet Hayes and his rap career.
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User #9148696 - 27 Feb 18 19:33
thank you for talking about mental health Ralph. I have suffered from it for years and really wish we could get rid of the stigma around it. Part of the issue is people suffering get ostracized when they speak about their illness. This makes us not talk about our issues which usually furthers the issue.
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User #9268399 - 26 Feb 18 16:58
I'm so glad to hear Kevin Smith is stable and doing well. I would ask that you reach out to parents of kids with food allergies, though. It's already worse than you think it is and they have real concern that the scene in Peter Rabbit will make it worse. A friend's daughter, who has severe food allergies, recently had a classmate try to bully her into triggering her allergies just because the classmate wanted to see her get her shot.
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User #3360126 - 26 Feb 18 17:04
That's fucked up
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User #9268399 - 26 Feb 18 17:31
Yes, it is. And that's why that scene in Peter Rabbit is dangerous.
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User #9349339 - 26 Feb 18 14:05
I was waiting for this to drop this morning, hoping to hear some perspective as only Ralph can give. Love you guys and hoping Kev gets well soon
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User #9506309 - 26 Feb 18 15:19
Please give Kev all our best wishes! We love you guys! Keep up the great work Ralph. GARMY STRONG!
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User #5043138 - 26 Feb 18 20:06
Close one, Kevin. Best wishes to you and yours. And Ralph, big hug. This show is definitely good depression therapy.
BONUS AUDIO! The complete Seth Green interview!
BONUS AUDIO! The complete Seth Green interview!more_vert
2018-02-25T00:29:39+00:00
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BONUS AUDIO! The complete Seth Green interview! 2018-02-25T00:29:39+00:00close

This is the Seth Green interview from THE RALPH REPORT, complete and uncut! For all you Two-Star Generals and above!

Comments (9)
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User #5460797 - 25 Feb 18 17:03
Awesome interview..... I'd be happy to listen to Mr Green for a lot longer.
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User #9078440 - 25 Feb 18 00:30
Yo!
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User #9090780 - 25 Feb 18 00:51
See you later, Ralph! ??
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User #9090780 - 25 Feb 18 00:52
Thanks for the Bonus!
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User #9655322 - 2 Mar 18 16:22
Good interview. Love Seth Green. Th audio quality could be better however, may have to invest in better equipment.
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User #9109251 - 26 Feb 18 13:29
Awesome please interview him again!
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User #9756882 - 27 Feb 18 13:28
Thx so much Ralph
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User #9083613 - 26 Feb 18 06:10
I love Seth Green but disappointed there was nothing there around Family Guy, Buddy or Austin Powers.....thought these would be a given as the big ones. Hopefully we get another strike at Seth Green
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User #3360126 - 26 Feb 18 00:27
You and Seth should make a mocumentary about kung fu grip. ???
THE RALPH REPORT for Friday, February 23, 2018
THE RALPH REPORT for Friday, February 23, 2018more_vert
2018-02-23T14:00:01+00:00
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THE RALPH REPORT for Friday, February 23, 2018 2018-02-23T14:00:01+00:00close

This episode: The new movies coming out this weekend! Our UK correspondent, Steve Ashton! And, Seth Green talks about the legendary STAR WARS: DETOURS animated series!

Comments (28)
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User #9109251 - 24 Feb 18 01:38
Fyi kelsey grammar doesn't believe in prenups. 3rd marriage?
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User #9087826 - 23 Feb 18 15:51
Aaaw, I'm sure everybody understands about Olivia. It has to be fun, not "homework"... So we'll take her reviews when she feels like it.
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User #9109251 - 24 Feb 18 01:41
Love the extended movie reviews. You offer way more than when you were on radio!!
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User #9087826 - 23 Feb 18 16:05
Oh, by the way, as a french Canadian myself, I can tell you why we have difficulties with the English pronunciation: first of all, in french the H is always silent. And then, there's a lot of other different rules of syntax and words that are written the same, or almost the same, and are pronounced very differently, with emphasis on certain syllables instead of the ones in English. One exemple: Development. In French, it's "développement", and we put the emphasis on the DÉ, and the rest of the word just slides down after that. We say "DÉvlopment", but in English, you put the emphasis on the VEL. "deVELopment"... So, even though the English language is quite simple to learn, the pronunciation is a tricky game for us! ;)
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User #7723634 - 23 Feb 18 17:37
Please continue having adventures with your wife! I love the chemistry between you two (and your struggle to do what your wife does already is also lovely to hear)
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User #8051905 - 23 Feb 18 15:45
I had forgot about detours.
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User #9145980 - 24 Feb 18 03:24
After a truly terrible and heart breaking day for me, thank you for cheering me up with today's show Ralph xx Loved hearing about SW Detours with you and Seth.
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User #9109251 - 24 Feb 18 01:43
livvie at the movies needs a jingle
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User #9416330 - 23 Feb 18 15:16
Yaaasss Queen yasss!
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User #2946792 - 23 Feb 18 17:10
re: Honey Boo-Boo....reality TV gives reality a bad name.
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User #9109251 - 24 Feb 18 01:43
the bachelor report is only funny because I don't watch it. Don't!
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User #9216761 - 23 Feb 18 19:46
With the exception of Sean Connery, are you sure that James Bond list wasn't read in reverse order? ;)
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User #774971 - 24 Feb 18 00:41
Um Ralph, you start talking about so-called "reality shows" being a problem with our society, but, you just got finished talking about how you like the Bachelor, what is wrong with this picture? I do not watch any of the shit because I do agree with your theory.
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User #2946792 - 23 Feb 18 17:26
And screw Family Guy (no offense) there was no discussion of his role as Chuckie in Can’t Buy Me Love. Something stinks in suburbia!
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User #9378777 - 23 Feb 18 19:48
I brought this up in Tuesday comments! (Or Wednesday?)
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User #2946792 - 23 Feb 18 19:52
I’m glad I’m not alone. I need to know if Big John really farted on him when he was in the back of the station wagon.
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User #9085769 - 23 Feb 18 16:53
Thank you for making me love my mornings again, Ralph!
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User #9109251 - 24 Feb 18 01:46
Email from pamela! Yes, Monday's with missy!!
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User #7275349 - 23 Feb 18 20:35
Thanks for talking about Detours (even if he invoked it himself in the end and my question wasn't needed)! Damn I wish it would appear to watch one of these days, especially given TFA has come and gone.
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User #9378777 - 23 Feb 18 20:46
Ralph, you are clearly great with Olivia. While we all love her involvement, your NOT becoming an oppressive "Dadager" is most appreciated and one more reason we all love and respect you. It will make her appearances all the more special when she IS up for doing them.
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User #9436376 - 23 Feb 18 15:55
Thank you, Ralph.
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User #9109251 - 24 Feb 18 01:24
Ask josh gadd why he tried to drown a dog
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User #9090780 - 23 Feb 18 19:55
? I can picture it... Ralph: “Really!? That needle-dicked dullard!?” Kari: “Don’t judge me! You’re the one drawn to boobs like a starved toddler...”
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User #9090780 - 23 Feb 18 19:57
P.S: Re: 3-ways... “let’s go both ways” ??
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User #9372792 - 23 Feb 18 18:06
We're all in it for the long haul! We'll continue to support you as long as you need us. We love ya, Ralph.
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User #2507701 - 24 Feb 18 01:46
Rock on Ralph!
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User #9905881 - 24 Feb 18 16:30
So I take it "wheel of animals " will not be making its triumphant return lol ! Keep it up Ralph! We are with you!! Psss .. Enough of the bachelor.. it's really bad Tv .. I can't sit through 2 minutes of it ! But it's funny to see how you are enamored by it!
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User #9086394 - 23 Feb 18 22:10
Great episode Ralph, Seth Green was an awesome interview can't wait for you to have him back again. Thank you.
THE RALPH REPORT for Thursday, February 22, 2018
THE RALPH REPORT for Thursday, February 22, 2018more_vert
2018-02-22T14:00:59+00:00
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THE RALPH REPORT for Thursday, February 22, 2018 2018-02-22T14:00:59+00:00close

Today's episode: Special guest Sex U. professor, adult film star, Missy Martinez! Seth Green talks stop-motion animation and toys! And, wine cleans your brain!

Comments (26)
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User #9393859 - 22 Feb 18 17:38
Chelsea Handler has no business being a judgmental bitch towards women who work in the adult entertainment industry. The only reason Handler ever got any work on the E channel in the first place is because she the girlfriend of the network president whom she dumped like a ton of bricks once she made it.
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User #3360126 - 22 Feb 18 14:06
As of right now, the French are the healthiest ppl on the planet. ???
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User #9378777 - 23 Feb 18 18:44
Ralph, funny as it was, given your very well reasoned and well-spoken views on guns... maybe, just MAYBE -- I'm just spitballing here, you shouldn't have offed Wendy Williams with one?
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User #9412367 - 22 Feb 18 18:10
Also, great Sex U segment today Ralph. I always feel a little more enlightened after hearing your input on the topic of sex.
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User #9077416 - 22 Feb 18 15:15
Missy is awesome she’s best person on internet
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User #3360126 - 23 Feb 18 02:59
Tupac and Snoop drink gin.
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User #9418103 - 22 Feb 18 14:48
Thomas Jane is the original Punisher?!?!?!
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User #9089013 - 22 Feb 18 16:28
Technically it's Dolph Lundgren. But most people don't like to remember that interpretation lol
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User #7102900 - 22 Feb 18 17:00
Sorry, Dolph, but you didn't even wear the skull. ;)
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User #9105170 - 22 Feb 18 16:32
I drink gin and I have three words for you. How. Dare. You.
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User #3360126 - 23 Feb 18 03:01
So did Tupac. You gangsta.
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User #9105170 - 23 Feb 18 18:27
Thanks, Sweet Tooth.
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User #3325745 - 22 Feb 18 17:42
I love me a good gin cocktail. Good shit, man, and Aviation is a fantastic gin.
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User #9412367 - 22 Feb 18 17:56
My husband hates Soft Cell's "Tainted Love". So I make it my mission to turn it up and sing it loud every time I hear it on the radio.
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User #9403902 - 23 Feb 18 02:12
If you think about it, porn is like legal prostitution.
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User #9403902 - 23 Feb 18 02:41
Keep in mind I said like, not identical.
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User #736181 - 22 Feb 18 14:01
whoooo
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User #736181 - 22 Feb 18 14:43
I also noted that she said "come into hand" and you said NOTHING Ralph.
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User #9090780 - 22 Feb 18 17:52
He must’ve been REALLY tired...
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User #9086394 - 22 Feb 18 23:55
Ralph I appreciate all you are doing on here so I upgraded to a 4 star general. I love that you speak you mind and stick to it, it makes it easy to trust you and your message. Thank you I appreciate it. Seth is such a great interview.
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User #9090780 - 22 Feb 18 18:01
Taking on the Gin crowd today! Wonder how many people are gonna gripe over that... ? Hang in there, Ralph! I’m loving the show, don’t be afraid to rock the boat when it’s something you believe in. Rather it’s liquor preference, or not wanting whack jobs to own weapons of war. You might loose some riffraff, but you’ll find even more people stepping in to show their support. Kudos to you, sir!
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User #9388927 - 22 Feb 18 14:42
Bevmo after work
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User #9109251 - 23 Feb 18 02:35
Missy did great but Ralph's comparison to ufc was perfection
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User #3360126 - 22 Feb 18 14:31
I'm friends with a pornstar (Mia Rose) and all I'm going to say is, "sex worker" doesn't look good on the resume.
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User #3325745 - 22 Feb 18 17:44
That needs to change.
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User #69759 - 22 Feb 18 19:09
Not mad, because I put off gin for years due to a similar bias, but Aviation won me over with a killer lemonade and gin drink at a food festival. I wouldn't drink it straight but in a martini or Tom Collins it is a good break from vodka.
THE RALPH REPORT for Wednesday, February 21, 2018
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Today's episode: Better living through booze! Our UK correspondent, Steve Ashton, with a SPICE GIRLS update! And, Seth Green talks ROBOT CHICKEN!

Comments (12)
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User #9215014 - 22 Feb 18 16:12
Just upgraded to 4 stars and couldn’t be happier to give you my money.
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User #9378777 - 21 Feb 18 18:45
C'mon -- we have to ask Seth Green about his scene stealing performance as annoying little brother Chuckie Miller in "Can't Buy Me Love," no?!?!
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User #182587 - 21 Feb 18 15:22
Steve is a funny dude, good stuff when he's on
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User #9086394 - 22 Feb 18 22:58
Great to hear we are going to live forever Ralph. Seth is such a great interview. Thank you.
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User #9119806 - 21 Feb 18 23:06
Love the Seth Green interview, I had such a crush on him back in college. I used to say he was the "right height for making out with" because we're both short. :)
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User #8987663 - 21 Feb 18 19:50
Ahh shit I'ma die early. I don't like to drink
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User #9110713 - 22 Feb 18 06:31
One question are you ever going to do a sit down with petros papadakis or have a him on with your wife for the bachelor report
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User #9118681 - 21 Feb 18 17:08
Another solid episode of The Ralph Report.
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User #9436376 - 21 Feb 18 15:32
Thank you, Ralph.
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User #3360126 - 21 Feb 18 14:09
Hopeful I'll live to 90. ???
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User #9090780 - 21 Feb 18 21:10
Great as always, Ralph. Loving the interview with Seth! Sounds like he just got finished using those pipes of his, was it after a Family Guy or Robot Chicken? If it’s an illness, more power to ya Seth, & hope you’re felling better. Finally, Mr. Ashton... ? “You say Chewbacca, I say ciabatta!” WTF, Steve? ??
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User #7227965 - 21 Feb 18 14:40
Gotta love Robot Chicken, such great shite!!! Wonder if Idle Hands will come up at all in the interview, I love that movie :)
THE RALPH REPORT for Tuesday, February 20, 2018
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Today's episode: Ralph & Kari breakdown THE BACHELOR! Ralph reviews BLACK PANTHER! And, the first chapter of the interview with SETH GREEN!

Comments (37)
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User #9109251 - 20 Feb 18 14:18
Love seth green!
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User #9109251 - 21 Feb 18 01:38
I miss angry Ralph. Time to catch up on babble vision
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User #9430137 - 20 Feb 18 21:16
What happened to petros?
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User #9092550 - 20 Feb 18 21:48
Yeay Ralph! Spot on with the Black Panther review!! I felt the same way and folks in the theater sitting around us sat there and discussed it!! When was the last time that has happened?! Best birthday present ever!!
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User #9105108 - 21 Feb 18 20:14
More Kari, please!!!
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User #545785 - 20 Feb 18 20:50
Anyone else having issues with the podcast feed updating in their podcast software? I'm using Overcast on my phone and this podcast hasn't updated since Feb 12th. The other podcasts I'm subscribed to are updating just fine, just not this one, so I don't think it's on my end.
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User #9729099 - 20 Feb 18 16:13
It should also be noted how the Black Panther movie succeeds as a purely solo outing. No Tony Stark, no Cap, no Guardians. In other words, no safety net.
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User #7723634 - 20 Feb 18 18:54
OMG you had so many people unsubscribe that you're only left with 6k+ subscribers! Garmy for life! You can say ANYTHING about Latinos that I'll just come back to hear more
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User #9097811 - 22 Feb 18 20:40
We should do a Garmy Family Fun Day at the Zoo!
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User #9109251 - 21 Feb 18 01:48
Karri and the OG are freaking adorable and perfect for the show. Also questions for seth green better be from top star garmy generals
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User #3360126 - 21 Feb 18 20:44
I still haven't listened to this, but I hope you said Happy Birthday to Kurt Cobain.
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User #9378777 - 21 Feb 18 00:13
Roland FOREVER!!
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User #9423371 - 21 Feb 18 00:23
Garmy! Garmy!
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User #7102900 - 20 Feb 18 16:49
I haven't lived until I've seen a gorilla riding an orca into the sunset of freedom.
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User #9090780 - 20 Feb 18 17:46
Thanks, Ralph... & Roland!!! ???
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User #3175106 - 20 Feb 18 15:30
His Black Panther review is Spoiler-Free!
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User #9445069 - 21 Feb 18 13:29
Why are gun nuts such snowflakes?? You didn’t want those subscribers anyways. And if I was an animal, I’d want to be in a Zoo. That place must be like a Spa for animals. Haha Plus sadly us humans have a problem with hunting animals to extinction, so those are becoming the only places to actually see some animals. Someday they’ll only be seen in history books sadly. And zoos help prevent that. They do a lot of work for wildlife conservation. Plus you have a little kid, why make it political. You took your kid to the zoo. Yeesh
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User #3360126 - 22 Feb 18 13:44
Do you think prison is also a spa, because that's what a zoo it?
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User #3360126 - 22 Feb 18 14:18
In prison you get a job, a place to sleep and three meals a day. I know ppl who have less. Abad just like a zoo,they're in a cage
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User #9436376 - 20 Feb 18 15:11
Thank you, Ralph.
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User #9433800 - 20 Feb 18 15:30
Roland!!!!
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User #3360126 - 20 Feb 18 14:06
Is it spoiler free, Ralph? I haven't listened to HBO yet, because it said Kevin reviews the movie, and we all know how he is. ???
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User #9090780 - 20 Feb 18 17:53
I think so... I don’t remember much, if anything, that would be considered a spoiler. That being said, I can’t say for certain. Though, I think you should be okay. Maybe just tread lightly ?
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User #9086394 - 22 Feb 18 22:46
Great episode Ralph, so glad for the Seth Green interview. Thanks
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User #9096898 - 20 Feb 18 16:47
Any spoilers in the review for those that have already listened?
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User #9729099 - 20 Feb 18 16:35
I'm willing to contribute to a campaign to legally change the name of the town of Weiner, Arkansas to Footlong.
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User #9103391 - 21 Feb 18 04:55
Roland!
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User #9431558 - 21 Feb 18 01:07
Sucks people cant stand to hear different opinions than theirs. Keep up the great work Ralph.
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User #9393859 - 20 Feb 18 17:52
Loved the Black Panther review but all the dumb southerner stuff during the the Bachelor review was really annoying.
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User #9090831 - 20 Feb 18 22:39
Don't take it personally lol He was talking about the people in the show.
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User #9393859 - 21 Feb 18 00:35
I know but I’m from Texas so the whole dumb southerner schtik sometimes really gets under my skin no matter the situation.
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User #69759 - 20 Feb 18 21:46
Anyone else notice a sound quality issue with the Bachelor and Interview segments or is it just my phone?
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User #3360126 - 20 Feb 18 22:21
He records at different levels. So when they get edited together, one sounds higher than the other.
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User #9412367 - 22 Feb 18 04:40
Dang it Roland! I wanted to hear about the giraffes. Ha ha!
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User #9609075 - 21 Feb 18 10:27
Ralph you’re crushing it!!! So happy for you.
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User #9445069 - 22 Feb 18 14:16
If it was a prison in Norway. Hell yeah. And really?, Bering catered to all day. Have your own exhibit custom made for your needs. Free food all the time. Health care, and people to delight at seeing me? Where do I sign up?? And I think you’re confusing the zoo. With the circus. That is a prison for animals, who have their will beaten out of them to perform tricks or be tortured. Idk what zoos you’re going to buddy
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User #9090831 - 20 Feb 18 22:41
I wanted to listen to all of Seth but goodness for he need a lot of hot tea with honey. I'll try again tomorrow lol. Loved everything else. I don't watch The Bachelor but I love hearing about it from you and your wife!
BONUS AUDIO! Here's the ENTIRE interview with the host of THE BACHELOR franchise, Chris Harrison!
BONUS AUDIO! Here's the ENTIRE interview with the host of THE BACHELOR franchise, Chris Harrison!more_vert
2018-02-17T01:22:43+00:00
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Comments (15)
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User #9096401 - 19 Feb 18 10:27
Great interview!
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User #9103391 - 21 Feb 18 03:50
Love the pyangchang pronunciation info CHANG!
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User #9087826 - 17 Feb 18 10:49
Thanks Ralph!!!!
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User #9412367 - 17 Feb 18 20:03
Interesting to hear behind the scenes on how shows come together and why they are given their time slots. I really enjoy the bonus interviews. Great job Ralph!
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User #9090780 - 17 Feb 18 05:18
Thanks for the bonus, Ralph! ?
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User #328683 - 19 Feb 18 16:29
Thanks for bonus. I love both podcasts
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User #3360126 - 19 Feb 18 02:21
Least favorite interview so far, and idk who the last fucking dude was.
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User #673331 - 19 Feb 18 09:00
I was the opposite, I didn't know who he was but loved the interview.
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User #9081648 - 19 Feb 18 14:39
Needles... you didn’t know Ducky? He was in 16 Candles... and he was one of the kids in The Breakfast Club.?
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User #3360126 - 19 Feb 18 14:42
I meant the Streetmeats dude? Was that two ago?
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User #9081648 - 19 Feb 18 14:50
Ah yes... 2 ago, Eric Stonestreet... that was funny as hell since they were drunk. I don’t watch Modern Family but he was interesting to me.
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User #3360126 - 19 Feb 18 14:51
I liked the interview, I just don't know who he was.
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User #9081648 - 19 Feb 18 15:23
That’s cool... the next one (Seth Green) should be good. That dude’s got his hands in lots of ventures.
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User #9868868 - 20 Feb 18 10:26
??
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User #6842557 - 19 Feb 18 14:36
Fun, high energy man and it made the hour fly by.
THE RALPH REPORT for Friday, February 16, 2018
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Today's show: BLACK PANTHER is finally here! How Chris Harrison saved MILLIONAIRE! And, our beloved UK correspondent, Steve Ashton! Have a great holiday long weekend, gang! THE RALPH REPORT will be back on TUESDAY!

Comments (22)
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User #9109251 - 16 Feb 18 14:08
Remember when Ralph traveled and went into a radio studio and said hey don't leave me alone here I'm just the talent. Love watching you grow and learn Ralph. You work hard and deserve success!
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User #9412367 - 16 Feb 18 18:30
I hope Ralph gives the yoga class a second chance. I was looking forward to that bit.
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User #9090780 - 16 Feb 18 19:20
Thanks for the episode, Ralph! Hope you & the family enjoy the long weekend. Hear ‘ya next Tuesday!
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User #9081648 - 16 Feb 18 14:48
Great show as always, Sir... enjoy the holiday off? Looking forward to the Chris Harrison full interview; sounds like a cool guy who has his head on straight.
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User #9403902 - 16 Feb 18 14:23
Lol I have to say ChiCageO sounds cooler than Chicago.
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User #9103391 - 21 Feb 18 03:50
Love the pyangchang pronunciation info CHANG!
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User #9376223 - 16 Feb 18 16:40
Imagine the look on my face when I heard my suggestion for what’s up Nick Nolte’s Ass! ? Love the show, Ralph!
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User #9109251 - 16 Feb 18 14:21
Thank you! James corden BLOWS
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User #9086394 - 16 Feb 18 22:24
Appreciate another great episode Ralph, I like the hiralph number. Can't wait for your daughter's movie review next week. Thank you.
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User #9433828 - 17 Feb 18 00:40
HIRALPH ? Love you too and I mean it!
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User #8336399 - 16 Feb 18 17:21
HIRALPH OR BUST.
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User #9090780 - 16 Feb 18 19:21
I voted for 99GARMY, in hindsight, I’m hoping for HIRALPH as well...
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User #7723634 - 20 Feb 18 15:44
I beg to differ Ralph! I do want to hear your pain grunts. Only to laugh with you I assure you.
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User #9133738 - 16 Feb 18 14:04
For us international folks we don't have president's day, ya lucky bunch and have to work on Monday!
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User #9447849 - 16 Feb 18 15:33
Most of us have to work on President's Day here too.
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User #9436376 - 16 Feb 18 14:46
Thank you, Ralph.
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User #3360126 - 16 Feb 18 14:30
Go back next week and videotape it. ???
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User #9683864 - 18 Feb 18 00:16
I have hope you'll find use for that yoga recording. There's gotta be something salvageable. Love ya, mean it!
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User #9103391 - 21 Feb 18 03:53
Free handies!
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User #9754058 - 16 Feb 18 20:02
lol I prefer da garmy only because I'm sure its the most likely to bug the shit out of you and an angry Garman is the best Garman.
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User #6753494 - 16 Feb 18 16:44
LOVE LOVE LOVE Steve Ashton. Thank you for another good show.
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User #6842557 - 19 Feb 18 14:48
Tweeted at Creaky Studios, hoping they can perhaps take a look at the audio as they have salvaged some TESD stuff in the past.
THE RALPH REPORT for Thursday, February 15, 2018
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This episode: The Quest for the Female Orgasm! Theme Park News! And, Chris Harrison on what makes THE BACHELOR a hit TV show!

Comments (49)
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User #9754058 - 15 Feb 18 17:30
I think anyone who argues that the regular death of children due to mass shootings is the price of freedom is a terrible person. I'm not saying lets ban all guns but we need some common sense in our laws. Thank you for your very reasonable stand on this, I'm switching over to 4 star now Ralph from 2, thank you for being a voice of reason.
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User #9196794 - 15 Feb 18 16:18
When I first heard you were doing the Ralph Report and saw I needed to pay, I didn’t hesitate because I wanted to support you and whatever you wanted to talk about. Not every subject matter can be funny, sometimes we need to talk about the bad. I was a 2 Star before, I’m officially going in for all 5! I want to give back to you for all you do, and what I hope you continue to do! Thanks Ralph!
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User #9105108 - 15 Feb 18 19:21
I like positive Ralph. I like angry Ralph. I like sensitive Ralph. I like family Ralph. We all have more than one side and I’m glad you are sharing who you are in your podcast. ?
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User #9448561 - 15 Feb 18 14:25
I’m glad you are using this platform to speak out about gun violence. Well said sir
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User #9390470 - 15 Feb 18 17:57
Deep cuts today and so many truths. Thanks for sharing your heart with us Ralph. F the haters. Can't stop the signal!
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User #9412367 - 16 Feb 18 05:23
I have been listening to you Ralph since you were "Ralph the new guy" on KROQ. What I admire most about you is you've always been honest with your audience and keep true to yourself. It is why I have been and will always be a fan. Great podcast!
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User #3360126 - 15 Feb 18 14:38
Someone once told me, you're supposed to bury your parents, they're not supposed to bury you.
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User #3360126 - 15 Feb 18 14:45
Did I hear you right, Ralph? You lost a child once? Damn man. Sorry to hear. No one child, like you said, is worth a AR15. The human race only survives through our children.
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User #555082 - 15 Feb 18 14:11
Well said Ralph!
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User #9078032 - 15 Feb 18 19:25
Thank you Ralph for using your voice to speak your truth.
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User #9405213 - 16 Feb 18 02:46
Great show Ralph! Looking forward to your couple's adventure tomorrow!
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User #9084257 - 15 Feb 18 18:14
Ralph, thanks for your honest and emotional opening this morning. Unfortunately, this is a new SHITTY normal and I absolutely hate it. We lost this conversation and battle when Sandy Hook happened. If the people we elected couldn’t come together on killing children at that age (yes, I have to write in THAT AGE) then we’re fucked. IN MY OPINION ONLY.. As long as politicians on ALL sides continue taking money from the NRA, this shitty reality will continue. Like most issues, unless it hits home on personal level, nothing will change. Sad but true.
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User #9364204 - 15 Feb 18 16:03
Thank you for sharing Ralph, as a parent of a very young daughter, this is also weighing on my soul, as we try and plot our counties path forward and hopefully away from these continued unnecessary tragedies.
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User #9087826 - 15 Feb 18 15:08
Ah! George Wendt and William Katt played together in the movie "House"!
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User #9416217 - 15 Feb 18 17:42
Thank you for having the balls to talk about the shooting in Florida. I agree with you and I think it is important for more of the population to hear this argument. I have been listening to you for years and I think you are talented and wonderful. I love you... I mean it. ;)
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User #9086052 - 15 Feb 18 15:24
As far as i know, at least in Michigan where I am, there has not been any kind of evaluations for long guns or shotguns, only for handguns. No national program has been instituted at least in the last 34 years I have been alive to evaluate someone buying a gun other than a handgun and then it is purely a simple background check and not any kind of psychiatric test. Its just that with politics there is no grey area with most of the national politicians. They stick to their extremes and fuck all on everything else. It's why i despise politics.
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User #9077500 - 15 Feb 18 18:38
Excellent show Ralph. ?
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User #9092550 - 15 Feb 18 20:58
This poor boy said it started because he witness Scott molesting the other actress
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User #9509134 - 17 Feb 18 09:37
Hi Ralph! Can you post a bonus audio of you doing yoga, specifically because you said it sounded like the some evil demons talking. I'd pay extra to hear that. I'm not being silly, I honestly think it would be hilarious. Also, that audio may be recoverable. I've got loads of tools to edit, add FX, clean, etc etc at my disposal. Or at least cleaned up enough to be able to enjoy it. Anyway, I'm only a fan cause of word of mouth. But I'm 2stars now and loving it. Stay true to yourself, and The Ralph Report format. I love it, I mean it.
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User #9465076 - 15 Feb 18 14:30
I was just telling a co worker the same thing we don't need to ban all weapons just weapons like this
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User #9366258 - 16 Feb 18 00:51
Good for you Ralph! Well said. No child's life is worth someone's "right" to own an assault rifle.
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User #9096398 - 16 Feb 18 00:24
First class show Mr Garman! Never needed justification but yet you gave me more today for listening to you daily. I’ve listened you since 1999 and never let me down with your view and 8 impressions lol
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User #9076365 - 15 Feb 18 14:57
An incredible voice of reason. Well said, Ralph!
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User #9289613 - 16 Feb 18 04:50
Another great show on the books! Thank you for opening up and sharing your opinions on gun control, especially your personal reasons for feeling the way that you do. It's important to put a human face on these kinds of conflicts. In lighter news, I was really excited to hear all the theme park news, and this may have been my favorite Sex U lesson yet. Thank you so much for tackling that subject with such honesty and sensitivity. Female sexuality and the female orgasm in particular have been stigmatized to varying degrees through most of history. Those stats you mentioned reflect a serious problem. As women, we're often taught that we're not supposed to be sexual beings, and the lack of knowledge so many of us have about our own bodies and desires is tragic. When I met my wife I was basically a virgin, sheltered in a Southern Baptist upbringing, and had the baggage of prior abuse on top of that. It took a ton of trial and error and constant communication (and endless patience from my wife) for me to learn to enjoy sex and embrace my own sexuality. I hope your advice will help other women learn to get all that they want and deserve out of sex, but I also appreciate that you emphasized how common it is and how women shouldn't have to feel guilty or blame themselves if things don't seem to be working. It can take a lot of time to finally find that perfect formula, and in the meantime, sex without orgasm can still be a hell of a good time. Thanks again for your educational and fun take on human sexuality. Can't wait to find out the next topic!
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User #9216990 - 16 Feb 18 19:43
I love everything you said this morning..... Garman 2020!
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User #9419509 - 15 Feb 18 18:40
oh scott baio and his onset hijinks
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User #9086394 - 15 Feb 18 23:04
I agree with you Ralph it is bull but this guy was on the FBI radar for 3 years and they said they could not find him which is bull. People should be screened more rigorously when buying guns. We need a lot more follow through when people are flagged as dangerous to keep this bull from happening. I hope to never see this again. Thank you for a great show Ralph.
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User #854740 - 15 Feb 18 19:28
I agree with you on the limits on destructive power being in the hands of whomever wants it. Thanks for opening up man. I didn't know you had lost a child, I'm sorry.
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User #9086052 - 15 Feb 18 15:12
An AR-15 is a glorified 22. You can do the same damage with a squirrel gun that happened here. It's not the gun that is the problem, its the way children are being raised. An AR-15 looks scary because you can put all kinds of things on it, most of which are not needed to do what was done yesterday. I'm not against gun regulation but saying a .223 or .556 semi auto rifle is the problem here is way off base. He obviously should not have had this or any other gun. I think we need mental health and life evaluations and registration for all guns to curb this type of thing happening. Both sides need to come together and come up with solutions besides outright bans or blame on mental health. If a national gun registry for any gun purchased was instituted this would make the registrants liable for their guns and would restrict access to mentally unstable individuals.
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User #7227965 - 15 Feb 18 15:18
I'm pretty sure there used to be some sort of psychiatric test or research that was done when purchasing a gun, but I believe our current president stopped/removed them. I get what you are saying but I still believe what Ralph was talking about and there is no reason an AR-15 needs to be in a civilians hands. I have 3 daughters myself and this shite scares the hell out of me every time it occurs. I'm glad we can have these types of conversations and things need to change on both ends. My .02, always great times Ralph and David I'm glad you brought this knowledge as well.
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User #9081648 - 15 Feb 18 15:39
Agree on all your points, David except for the compare of bullet calibers. I wouldn’t want to mislead the uniformed (gun newbies) in thinking a 22 is the same as a 223 or 556... size, weight, powder, velocity, round bullet head as a posed to a pointed head? More damage can be caused by said AR ammo.
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User #9759986 - 15 Feb 18 20:09
Banning assault rifles wont fix the problem because anyone mentally unstable that wants to take another humans life will find a way to do so. Making them illegal wont help because drugs are yet you can go to any shady corner and still buy them.
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User #9157349 - 15 Feb 18 19:56
Love the show Ralph! I appreciate you giving your opinions on gun control. I've thought for a long time that assault weapons have no business being in the hands of someone who is not on active duty in the military. I'm all for having hand guns as protection and hunting rifles if that's your thing but no civilian who is not actively defending our country has the need of a weapon that can take down several people at a time. There's no one who needs that kind of weapon or access to that kind of weapon. Thanks for all you do to keep the Garmy entertained every day and I look forward to tomorrow's episode and all the one's to come.
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User #9119994 - 15 Feb 18 19:41
Great show today Ralph. Thank you for addressing the needless tragedy that took place yesterday, the raw emotion of losing a child and being able to continue on with TRR. And anyone who doesn't like it? You don't need them.
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User #9465076 - 15 Feb 18 15:01
More men need to be willing to give oral sex but it's not just licking you gotta work it =]
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User #9419140 - 15 Feb 18 17:17
Thank you for this podcast, Ralph! So appreciative of your voice in my ear every day!
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User #9097306 - 15 Feb 18 20:10
Next on the news "When Chachi molested Joanie"
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User #7227965 - 15 Feb 18 16:04
Great book to read on the topic of this week's Sex University.She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman - Ian Kerner. Such a great book about a woman's orgasm and all that goes on down there.
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User #9534694 - 15 Feb 18 16:07
I understand your take on the gun issue although I don't agree with it. My answer would be to arm an train our teachers as well as employing guards because removing access to the AR-15s or AKs doesn't solve the problem... It just means the next mass shooting will be with a hand gun or shot gun.
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User #7227965 - 15 Feb 18 16:18
I don't want to turn the comment section into this discussion, but if someone did use a handgun/shotgun for a mass shooting compared to an automatic weapon, it would still happen, but the thought is there would be less carnage because the shooting would hopefully not be as quick and deadly and more of a chance for someone to stop said shooter before it gets worse.
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User #9378777 - 15 Feb 18 18:32
Classic Republican talking points, Heather Hurd, whether you intended a partisan label or not. This notion is as ridiculous as "let's build so many nuclear weapons that it would be crazy to use them." How about we just reverse the Republican weakening of the provisions in Federal gun laws that prevented mentally unstable people and domestic abusers from owning guns? I mean, who on Earth would have consciously weakened those provisions? ... Republicans.
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User #9415511 - 15 Feb 18 20:19
Haven't we already done the "give everyone a gun" thing in the old west? How did that work out? Everyone got shot. So they did away with it in the cities to make them safer. Going backwards in history doesn't seem to make a lot of sense, does it?
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User #9534694 - 15 Feb 18 20:28
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion but the east coast has the toughest gun laws and the highest statistics for gun violence. A more pointed example is Detroit where it's semi impossible to get a gun LEGALLY an it's considered the murder capital verses say the whole state of Texas where guns are a whole lot easier to come by, an the statistics for fun violence are marginally lower.
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User #108236 - 19 Feb 18 14:18
Heather, in my opinion this post does a pretty good job of listing some issues with your proposed solution. https://www.caseyliss.com/2018/2/17/no-putting-more-guns-in-schools-is-not-a-good-idea-you-friggin-morons
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User #9436962 - 20 Feb 18 03:42
Love this episode. Don’t let the people that can handle a serious discussion get you down. Love the podcast and keep it up.
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User #5825677 - 15 Feb 18 17:48
I have a bit of a different take on it. I live in Canada and we have very strict gun control. I am not against responsible gun ownership, I have many friends who hunt or own a farm. Canada has had strict gun control for many years. In order to have a gun in your house, you have to have the guns stored with trigger locks in a locked cabinet and the ammo stored in a locked cabinet on the other side of the house. We also have strict transportation laws, a friend almost lost his antique gun collection due to the wrong paperwork. If you look at murder stats in Canada you have more of a chance of getting killed by a bladed weapon and have for 20 years than you are by being shot. Also as a result, there has been 10 mass shootings in the past 20 years, all of them are under 9 people. So yeah gun control works. Also those saying "Just give everyone guns" argument, the reason you don't hear about it stopping people is because it doesn't. Recently there was a case of someone shooting at a mall, lots of people pulled out and started shooting, that allowed the guy to escape.
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User #9090780 - 15 Feb 18 18:20
Ralph, that opening... god bless you, sir. Given the subject matter, I can’t imagine a more appropriate response. I’m afraid to look, but I’m not stupid, & know their are those who had a far different reaction. That being said, screw ‘em! It’s your show! I applaud you for voicing your opinion on one of, if not the most, divisive issues our country faces today. Keep it up, Ralph!
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User #9134546 - 15 Feb 18 14:30
Thanks Ralph! Great as always!
THE RALPH REPORT for Wednesday, February 14, 2018
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HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY! Today's THE RALPH REPORT: Behind the Uber curtain! How Chris Harrison became the host of THE BACHELOR! And, a Winter Games update with Jay Busbee from Yahoo Sports!
Comments (24)
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User #9092550 - 14 Feb 18 16:53
I thought the President's portrait was for the Smithsonian, the official one for the White House will be unveiled later
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User #9378777 - 14 Feb 18 22:41
That's correct. There is a White House official portrait, and one for the National Gallery. This one is for the National Gallery.
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theralphreport - 14 Feb 18 23:29
Thanks so much for the correction! But, still no secret sperm, right?
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User #9075725 - 15 Feb 18 00:29
Man, i'd hate to see what's on Hannity's RedTube search history. Maybe his buddy, Shepard Smith, could help him out with his latent bi-curious thing for lanky, intelligent, middle-aged black men with big ears & an apparent penchant for splattering their "boy batter" on everything in the room. An alternatively - more insidious - possibility is that it could be another Liberal ploy to discredit a standing member of The Arbiter of REAL NEWS. Only Alex Jones knows the truth....?
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User #5308013 - 14 Feb 18 14:01
OH MY GOODNESS! IT’S A NEW SHOW, DON’T CHA KNOW!
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User #9554089 - 16 Feb 18 15:04
How will the love test be able to who you love though?
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User #9081648 - 14 Feb 18 15:12
Great show... the Uber segment was very informative and useful?
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User #9636644 - 17 Feb 18 17:46
I rarely take Uber, but was curious as to my rating too. I have a 5 star rating! Another great show!
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User #7227965 - 14 Feb 18 14:27
Keep those 62 impressions coming Ralph!!!!!
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User #4477651 - 14 Feb 18 18:08
Hannity is not insulting President Obama, though he thinks he is. He is absolutely insulting the artist! That's probably the only reason he took everything down.
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User #9936537 - 1 Mar 18 04:05
Oh yeah. Totes tip with cash. It's just like a server or bartender. Uber drivers usually chat me up in hopes of getting tip. $5 is where its at, so they don't need to claim that on taxes ether. Boom!
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User #6204519 - 15 Feb 18 02:28
I’m still listening and just finished the Uber interview. Can we chat with him every week/fortnight/month? Would love to hear one of his stories and it might help get his book picked up.
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User #2937898 - 15 Feb 18 20:30
I’m happy to come back any time Ralph wants. :)
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User #9086394 - 15 Feb 18 21:54
Another great episode Ralph the Uber segment was informative. Thank you.
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User #9156964 - 14 Feb 18 14:25
Dammit Ralph, I watched my first episode of the Bachelor Winter Games, and now, I’m hooked! It’s all your fault;)
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User #9090780 - 14 Feb 18 17:24
Thank you, sir! Gonna try & squeeze this in before... long story.
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User #9551244 - 14 Feb 18 15:28
You're my only Valentine Ralph! Lol the uber was really interesting!
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User #3360126 - 15 Feb 18 12:37
I didn't have a Valentine on Valentines Day, a mother on mother's day or a father on father's day.
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User #3360126 - 15 Feb 18 13:18
MTV the real world was already over. So yes reality TV did exist before surviver.
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User #9403902 - 15 Feb 18 00:02
Loved this episode! Very informative.
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User #9109251 - 14 Feb 18 14:38
Ralph. Yoga. So much yes
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User #9075725 - 14 Feb 18 19:23
What kind of yoga is it Hatha, Bikram, S.U.P....? If you guys haven't done it yet, it'd be great if it was also done on video. Just to see your facial expressions, esp. when you're trying to hold in a fart - and you WILL.?
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User #9109251 - 14 Feb 18 14:21
Awesome uber interview cliff hicks!
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User #9378777 - 14 Feb 18 22:20
Re: Eva Amurri and Kyle Martino. She was SOOOOooooo hot on a few episodes of Californication. And we English Premier League soccer fans know Kyle well. He's a great analyst with a fantastic mane of hair!
THE RALPH REPORT for Tuesday, February 13, 2018
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Chris Harrison talks BACHELOR WINTER GAMES! An update from our "UK Correspondent', Steve Ashton, and Mr. and Mrs. Garman recap THE BACHELOR!

Comments (35)
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User #9119994 - 13 Feb 18 14:10
Thank so much for posting early in the AM. A for sure guarantee that I will start my day with a good laugh!
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theralphreport - 14 Feb 18 02:53
Thanks, Heather!
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User #9083023 - 13 Feb 18 14:07
My husband and I had the exact same conversation about Valentine’s Day last night! ??
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User #3360126 - 13 Feb 18 14:55
Willy Wonka is in Netflix for anyone who grew up under a rock.
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User #9534694 - 14 Feb 18 03:26
No problem man, your awesome. Hell listening to you after the Super Bowl even took some of the sting out of my Pats losing lol. We could use a few losses, humble us a little anyways. Thx again though, I'm looking forward to tomorrow's episode ?
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User #9407640 - 13 Feb 18 21:37
I HATE the Bachelor but somehow I’m always looking forward to you and your wife talk about it. Also I’m missing your Stallone phone calls. Hope he rings up again soon ;)
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User #526191 - 13 Feb 18 23:26
Did you see the Black Mirror episode with Bryce Dallas Howard, Ralph?
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User #9729099 - 13 Feb 18 16:07
It's not a beauty mark, it's a "love Kuato".
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User #9075725 - 14 Feb 18 03:56
[inhales through clenched teeth] Eeeewww... Dat's NAASSSSTY!
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User #4477651 - 13 Feb 18 17:18
Ralph-eoke is the reason I will pay the big bucks to listen to Mr Garman!
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User #9083030 - 13 Feb 18 18:27
Don't feel bad about the 4.69, mine is only 4.5.
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User #3360126 - 13 Feb 18 18:35
His is probably because he bad mouthed some celebrity or sports team on air. ???
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User #9109251 - 14 Feb 18 01:20
Love the batman music segway. Hate the rim shot - unless you're doing it yourself Ralph?
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User #9075725 - 14 Feb 18 03:24
There's a joke in there about Ralph's waxed brown eye. i just can't put my finger on it...?
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User #9109251 - 14 Feb 18 13:26
Sigh. File.
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User #9132756 - 13 Feb 18 16:10
The advice just keep L-I-V-I-N is a Matthew McConaughey line from Dazed and confused and also a foundation Matthew and his wife started. It's great advice Ralph.
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User #6204519 - 14 Feb 18 07:16
Sir, I have no desire to ever watch the Batchelor, but hot piss listening to you guys talk about it every week is friggin’ fun as.
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User #9534694 - 14 Feb 18 02:03
Ralph. Idk if you'll actually read this but I just saw on the FB GARMY page about the asshat talking shit about your new show an your family's involvement... 1. The admin was asking for any of us about to get ahold of you to do so, an ask you to come back to the page an admin it yourself if you would. 2. The asshat with issues about the new show obviously has no real appreciation for your talent or opinion. 3. As an HBO fan, Garmy member and now Ralph Report subscriber I personally love the fact that you've got your family involved... It gives us a look into who you are as a person as well as a performer. Anyways thank you for all the free an not so free funny. You guys give me something to look forward to at the end of a rough night at work.
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User #9075725 - 14 Feb 18 03:14
3rd shift REPRESENT!??
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User #9109251 - 14 Feb 18 01:11
Heh. I have a higher rating than Ralph on uber and I never tip
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User #9086394 - 13 Feb 18 22:10
Great episode Ralph, you and your wife were great. Chris Harrison was great too.
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User #9075725 - 14 Feb 18 03:21
Careful, Ralph, the way you've been going on about Bekah M., Kari might have second thoughts about bringing you into The Bachelor life. UNLESS Bekah's on "The List"...? Hell, the way Kari's been talking, is she on BOTH of your "lists"?? Bom-chika-wah-wah...
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User #9417442 - 13 Feb 18 14:00
Getting my day started off with some Ralph!
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User #9108953 - 14 Feb 18 14:40
I love when you sing, Ralph! Such a good voice. I need a Ralph music record. Thank you.
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User #9109251 - 14 Feb 18 01:49
Gasp! Steve was at HB0!!
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User #4748505 - 13 Feb 18 14:45
Another Willy Wonka reboot?? As much as I love Johnny Depp but there is only one Willy Wonka and that is the late great Gene Wilder!
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User #9428181 - 13 Feb 18 20:30
What happened with Petros doing the bachelor report? You wife is lovely, but you and petros are gold.
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User #9075725 - 14 Feb 18 03:28
i think "The Radio Station That Will Not Be Named" won him in the "divorce".
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User #9090780 - 13 Feb 18 14:10
I might be ending my night with this, then hopefully grabbing some sleep... I only have until ~10am PST... better get started! ? Thanks, Ralph! ?
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User #9097306 - 13 Feb 18 18:56
won't play past 4:29 point
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User #3360126 - 13 Feb 18 19:15
I listened to it all.
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User #9513402 - 13 Feb 18 22:49
Maybe this is old news but I think with Kyle being a Philly supporter and also referencing Jon Cryer as Ducky you may have a Ralph Report fan.
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User #9419509 - 13 Feb 18 19:29
this is the best episode to date
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User #2946792 - 13 Feb 18 15:40
Ralph, I’m a dullard and find it offensive that I’m compared to Arie.
THE RALPH REPORT for Monday, February 12, 2018
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Today's episode: What's the Buzz with the Winter Games?! 7 y.o. Olivia Garman reviews PADDINGTON 2! Plus, host of THE BACHELOR, Chris Harrison!

Comments (29)
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User #9089844 - 12 Feb 18 20:01
great show as always. Keep it up! Also, I was NOT one of the people to ask you to put out the show earlier, since I already could imagine you must be waking up stupidly early to do it, BUT I will say that my data on my phone appreciates it. I am now able to download it at home over wifi instead of stream it over my drive to work. (since each episode is around 40-60mb's, that definitely adds up daily)
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User #9109251 - 13 Feb 18 13:43
Still wish you would talk about music on the show in some capacity
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User #9257213 - 12 Feb 18 15:23
Your daughter did an awesome job on the review. I have a seven-year-old boy so I know exactly the joy you have hanging out with them and can't wait to hear your guys's next review.
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User #9587903 - 14 Feb 18 14:22
yeah
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User #9419140 - 12 Feb 18 14:56
Loving What's The Buzz from the Olympics!
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User #9076769 - 12 Feb 18 14:53
Your daughter is so insanely adorable!!!! Please tell her "awesome job"
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User #9364873 - 12 Feb 18 18:10
Another great show! Your daughter was awesome, go Olivia!
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User #4477651 - 12 Feb 18 17:59
Great job, Olivia!! Thank you for telling us about Paddington 2. Now I want to see it!
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User #9146762 - 12 Feb 18 21:16
Adorable movie review
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User #9412367 - 12 Feb 18 20:46
Olivia is so cute, can't wait to hear her review of Peter Rabbit.
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User #9090780 - 12 Feb 18 17:40
“I wanna zig a zig, ahhh!” ? Sounds like someone might have to change their underwear. Had to take a break... I’m sitting here cracking up, imagining Pacino doing covers of Spice Girls songs. ? Thanks for the episode, Ralph. ?
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User #188305 - 12 Feb 18 20:23
I wish we get a Fatman on batman crossover with Marc bernardin
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User #9409219 - 12 Feb 18 17:47
Every time I hear "What's the Buzz" the rest of the song from Jesus Christ Super Star continues to play in my head. LOL
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User #9407744 - 13 Feb 18 06:25
Great show! I loved the movie reviews, can you also add in suggested ages for kids to watch reviewed films? I'm curious to hear her thoughts on them. Also, the interview was quite interesting. I'm glad you're getting in the groove of things
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User #9099319 - 15 Feb 18 20:24
I love Olivia and your interaction with her!!!! So sweet!!!!
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User #9109251 - 13 Feb 18 13:29
The OG!!
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User #9133738 - 13 Feb 18 01:51
Congrats on reaching 6.000
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User #9216990 - 12 Feb 18 21:18
Olivia is awesome! Please take her to see The Greatest Showman! It's beautiful!!!
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User #9419509 - 12 Feb 18 18:39
i miss the bruce springsteen stories, please ralph call him asap!
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User #9081648 - 12 Feb 18 19:06
OMG! Yes! I forgot about Bruce and his tales of... ahem... extra curricular activities. Too funny??
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User #9407193 - 12 Feb 18 16:29
So impressed with your daughter's report; your so lucky to work alongside your family to bring us entertainment. Thanks & look forward to their continuous segments in The Ralph Report...
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User #9407640 - 13 Feb 18 21:36
Hearing you do segment with your kid is absolutely adorable! Now to get you, your wife and your kid in one.
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User #9087826 - 12 Feb 18 15:40
I love getting to know the Garman family! Thanks so much Ralph for letting us in, and tell Olivia she did a great job!
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User #9075725 - 12 Feb 18 19:23
Olivia was great! She was so damn cute, i swear i could almost feel an egg drop.? Remember BiTD, when the major networks would have Prime Time specials showcasing the upcoming season's cartoons? It'd be fun to have Olivia's (& maybe some over-the-hill geek's ?) take on new/favorite animated shows or films.
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User #9086394 - 12 Feb 18 23:52
The winter Buzz, and the Chris Harrison interview was great, but your daughter Olivia stole the show Ralph. Thank you for another great episode Ralph, I can't wait to be able to move up to a four star general.
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User #9089199 - 12 Feb 18 15:07
Livvy Loo! Great job Lady! XOXO
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User #9366258 - 12 Feb 18 19:48
OMG, Livvy is so stinkin cute! I can't believe she's so big already. Well done, Ralph!
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User #3360126 - 13 Feb 18 11:05
I'm glad to see you got the whole family in on it. Especially since you said Olivia is always asking to be on HBO.
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User #3360126 - 13 Feb 18 11:10
Damn, didn't get picked this month. ?
BONUS VIDEO! Jon Cryer visits the Batcave!
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2018-02-10T23:05:04+00:00
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Before his THE RALPH REPORT interview, Jon Cryer got the grand tour of the vintage BATMAN collection!


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Before his THE RALPH REPORT interview, Jon Cryer got the grand tour of the vintage BATMAN collection!

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Comments (26)
user avatar
User #9486997 - 12 Feb 18 06:00
I wish I could include a picture in my post. I have a 14 inch Adam West Batman that's awesome. Thanks so much fpr letting us see your "Nerd Lair". If you are ever interested, I would love to share images of my "Nerd Lair"
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User #9089013 - 12 Feb 18 16:14
You have a 14 Inch Adam West Batman huh...is that was the kids call them these days?
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User #9486997 - 12 Feb 18 16:37
If they aren't, they should be. I wasnt BEFORE, but now I will be.
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User #9086394 - 12 Feb 18 23:15
Your collection is incredible Ralph, thanks for sharing.
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User #9082843 - 15 Feb 18 18:48
The background music is a wee bit distracting when I'm trying to hear the conversations. :)
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User #6461782 - 10 Feb 18 23:36
Always great to see! :)
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User #3360126 - 10 Feb 18 23:52
Awesome. Can't wait to see the actual tour.
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User #9221240 - 17 Feb 18 03:46
Man cave goals ???
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User #9141125 - 11 Feb 18 00:43
Freakin love the batcave, love the show
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User #8051905 - 10 Feb 18 23:09
Thanks Ralph!
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User #9077969 - 13 Feb 18 21:57
How many stars do I need to get a tour of that Bat Cave?
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User #9194546 - 10 Feb 18 23:51
Sweet collection sir
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User #9110811 - 10 Feb 18 23:34
Thank you for sharing your space with us again! I watched the video of when you walked Kevin through and that was simply amazing. That place is a time capsule!
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User #9148696 - 11 Feb 18 19:13
great collection ralph. Do you have an original Ben cooper costume? If not find my email and let me know we have one here at the store I would be more then happy to send it to a true batman fan.
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theralphreport - 11 Feb 18 20:13
That is beyond kind!
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User #9148696 - 11 Feb 18 20:19
just let me know how to get it to you. You and kevin entertain me during long hours at the shop. It is the least I could do.
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theralphreport - 11 Feb 18 20:35
Ralph Garman c/o Chandler Street Productions 11333 Moorpark St. Studio City, CA 91602
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theralphreport - 11 Feb 18 20:35
Thanks, Michael!
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User #9148696 - 11 Feb 18 21:19
I will grab it out of storage and get it sent your way.
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User #9576797 - 11 Feb 18 19:46
Very entertaining video. Be cool to see more reactions from guests that visit the cave. And might I suggest a lavalier or boom. Great stuff ese!
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User #9244877 - 14 Feb 18 14:24
Amazing collection Ralph, thanks for showing us the Bat Cave!
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User #9090780 - 11 Feb 18 01:38
Yay!!! Gonna be a fun night! ?
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User #9090846 - 12 Feb 18 01:21
It's not letting me see it..
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User #9089139 - 10 Feb 18 23:11
Your batcave is so awesome!!!!
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User #9257213 - 10 Feb 18 23:14
That's so awesome. You have to do a video for the fans showing off your batcave and your favorite pieces that you have Ralph. That would be amazing.
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User #9719219 - 10 Feb 18 23:14
Wow amazing sir
The entire Jon Cryer interview from THE RALPH REPORT
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2018-02-10T01:27:26+00:00
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BONUS AUDIO! Hear everything we talked about! Thanks, Jon!

Comments (11)
user avatar
User #9090780 - 10 Feb 18 01:37
I was just thinking about this. Then it pops up. I’m scared now. ?
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User #9135568 - 12 Feb 18 10:06
V interesting guy. Great interviews and loving all your work, Ralph. Garmy strong.
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User #9099319 - 15 Feb 18 20:24
Such a great interview - made me love Jon Cryer even more!
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User #9412367 - 12 Feb 18 20:34
Great interview, my kids saw Pretty in Pink for the first time over the weekend. My daughter liked Duckie, she said she wished she knew someone like his character in school. Ha-ha.
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User #9086394 - 12 Feb 18 23:08
John Cryer was a great guest, thanks Ralph.
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User #9357739 - 10 Feb 18 01:42
Ralph bugged your house
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User #9576797 - 10 Feb 18 02:02
Awesome interview. These are going to be great.
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User #9147405 - 10 Feb 18 19:16
Another fun interview. Ralph is crushing this! Keep them coming!
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User #9282468 - 21 Feb 18 18:05
Thanks for this interview Ralph. After listening i bought jons audio book on audible. I'm loving it thanks!
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User #9400433 - 11 Feb 18 07:42
My favorite interview so far... Keep up the good work Ralph! <3
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User #3360126 - 11 Feb 18 11:50
Johnny Depp used a fake name in ANOES.
THE RALPH REPORT for Friday, February 9th, 2018
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2018-02-09T14:00:01+00:00
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Jon Cryer talks TWO AND A HALF MEN, Philly finally gets a parade, and yes, Ralph gets waxed!

Comments (65)
user avatar
User #9416330 - 9 Feb 18 16:21
HOT LAVA ???
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User #9433828 - 10 Feb 18 04:05
Love your show so much already. Getting addicted ? You were the best part of K&B... just letting it be known ?
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User #9090780 - 9 Feb 18 17:36
Cactus crack... ? ??? Good luck to you, sir.
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User #9390470 - 10 Feb 18 02:23
Cactus Cloth! ? Best scrubber on earth! Once you go ? you never go back!
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User #4477651 - 9 Feb 18 18:10
Reconsidering 5 Star General status ???
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User #9081648 - 9 Feb 18 18:19
I’m in for 5 (chocolate) Star (fish) status too! ...a very “special” Ralph Report?
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User #9075725 - 9 Feb 18 19:14
i dunno, that "maintenance" schedule seems a little rough. i do like the idea of taking a smoother shit, though. Does it get itchy when it starts growing back?
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User #9390470 - 10 Feb 18 02:49
As long as you take care of it post via scrubbing and apply post cream the hair grows in soft and normal. You are removing hair by the root and not cutting it off like shaving. So if you make sure the skin is taken care of, then the hair grows in just like it usually would.
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User #5460797 - 9 Feb 18 16:54
Oh shit, he read out my question....... Does this make me famous?
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User #9109251 - 9 Feb 18 14:02
Where do 4* garmies send interview questions as opposed to 1*?
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User #5460797 - 9 Feb 18 17:03
We get a special email from Ralph asking for questions.
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User #9436970 - 9 Feb 18 19:44
I had a sugar wax about a year ago in Newport Beach and hurt like hell...i'm chewbacca down there
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User #9390470 - 10 Feb 18 02:53
Dear Chewbacca - the first time is rough. I would tell you to keep trying. It gets better and any of my clients will tell you, it's worth it!
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User #9108953 - 9 Feb 18 15:07
thank you for making the effort to post earlier for us! You're a HERO Ralph!
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User #9109251 - 10 Feb 18 01:25
I just switched to sugaring. That lady is great at explaining
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User #9390470 - 10 Feb 18 02:05
Why thank you! Huge fan of Ralph! I was super happy to help out and support him for this episode. It's especially good to hear comments like this one since when it comes to skincare education I start to geek out. Glad you learned something! I was afraid I was talking waaaaay too much! Luckily Ralph and Kari are the total sweetest. Enjoy sugaring. It can be an awesome alternative to waxing.
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User #9109251 - 10 Feb 18 03:39
wish you had talked about different racial sin types
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theralphreport - 10 Feb 18 03:40
Well, she only had a big white boy to deal with, so it is my fault for not asking
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User #9390470 - 10 Feb 18 05:09
Race doesn't really change what I use. Skin types do. If the skin is really thin and overly dehydrated I'll usually use a hard wax. Since the sugar digests, I can sometimes get over digestion of the skin with sugar which will lead to irritation and even scabbing. Other than that, pretty much any skin can get sugared. Waxing is more forgiving since it doesn't stick to anything and doesn't digest. I just have to be more careful with the temperature. Often I'll start with wax and clean up with sugar. That's what I did with Ralph. :)
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User #9078440 - 9 Feb 18 14:01
Yo! Lunchtime in the uk ?
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User #3010993 - 9 Feb 18 18:45
Ralph, honestly the best episode so far. So funny! Here’s a thought - not that you need to mirror HBO, but instead of “How Big Is Liam Neeson’s Cock?” to end The Ralph Report, what about “What’s Inside Nick Nolte’s Ass?” Because man, that was funny.
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User #9080788 - 10 Feb 18 15:34
Omg the waxing. Ralph’s big balls!!!
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User #9075725 - 9 Feb 18 18:50
Seems like you're settling into the daily Pod grind (just need more user submitted intros)!?? Hopefully Going Out w/ The Garmans is gonna be a regular thing. You just earned your Brown Badge of Courage w/ this ep!
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User #545785 - 9 Feb 18 18:39
Hey Ralph. I honestly had literally no idea who you were when I took a chance and backed you on Patreon (maybe it was your love for Batman, maybe it was that feeling of getting in on something from the "ground floor", who really knows at this point.) Anyway, just wanted to say I'm really enjoying the show, and I'm glad I gave you a shot - it's rare for me to be interested in virtually every single segment. I even find myself interested in your opinions on The Bachelor, and I don't even watch it. LOL. Keep up the great work man.
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User #9629517 - 9 Feb 18 16:53
Hot Lava! Oh Ralph. You made my morning.
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User #9591350 - 9 Feb 18 15:17
We might just want to go with the butt!!! Hahahaha
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User #9084004 - 10 Feb 18 16:42
I could listen to you getting your hole waxed everyday lol
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User #6753494 - 9 Feb 18 20:13
Loving the adventures!!!
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User #5295054 - 10 Feb 18 07:40
"Holy Shit, I'm getting outta here!" My sentiments exactly! LMAO. Thanks for sharing the adventure, Sir! Really enjoyed your interviews with Mr.Cryer as well. Hat tip
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User #9145980 - 9 Feb 18 20:54
"Mud Pump" ??
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User #9084792 - 9 Feb 18 19:45
Yikes people suck. I like all of your experience segments!
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User #9576797 - 10 Feb 18 02:02
I am going to say it until I get a like because it's funny:f that wax chick is as hot as her voice I would bust more nuts than a bag of Trail Mix
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User #9447653 - 9 Feb 18 15:51
You adventure today in Waxing was fantastic. I laughed my ass off!
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User #9090780 - 9 Feb 18 15:12
Ahhh, can’t wait. Thanks for the ep., Ralph. Good luck to you & your evacuation hatch...
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User #9658138 - 10 Feb 18 22:11
Ralph, have you seen the latest AllState commercial (ringing cellphone) with the original “Mayhem” (post op)? Perhaps you could arrange an interview with him.
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User #9378777 - 9 Feb 18 17:33
Ralph, you never have to apologize for talking about your own favorite NFL team, ESPECIALLY when they just pulled off a Super Bowl win!
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User #8597527 - 9 Feb 18 19:56
fantastic! ♥
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User #9364873 - 10 Feb 18 06:19
Laughing so hard I had tears in my eyes! Thank you for making my morning commute fun again!!
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User #9086394 - 9 Feb 18 23:52
That was a great episode Ralph, I haven't laughed so hard in quite some time during the waxing part. John Cryer was awesome too. Thank you very much.
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User #9534694 - 9 Feb 18 14:49
Thank You for your comment about that girl. An ex friend of mines 13 yr old granddaughter approached her 50yr old husband an they proceeded to have a physical relationship. I called cps an they blamed the girl... You saying it doesn't matter if she showed up wearing a sign saying 'do me' is exactly what I've been saying. It's nice to have a idol of mine backing the same stance
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User #3025536 - 9 Feb 18 17:40
Sorry I’m out for the —well you know
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User #9576797 - 10 Feb 18 01:22
If that wax chick is as hot as her voice I would bust more nuts than a bag of Trail Mix
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User #9257213 - 9 Feb 18 15:02
OMG mud pump LOL! I'm dying Ralph. Your wife is so adorable and she made me laugh so hard with that comment I almost crashed my car this morning LOL
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User #8987663 - 10 Feb 18 17:06
Ralph a real trooper lol
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User #2806007 - 14 Feb 18 19:55
Oh, Ralph's Adventures reminds me of Sexcetera!
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User #9268396 - 9 Feb 18 17:05
wow. that kelce speech. "Underdog is a hungry dog and hungry dogs run faster." gotdamn. who the hell is cutting onions
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User #9412367 - 9 Feb 18 19:04
Am I a bad person for laughing hysterically at Ralph's pain? Best episode ever!!
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User #9390470 - 10 Feb 18 02:51
I felt TERRIBLE LOLing at him in that room. I never laugh at a clients pain. Bad esthetician! He's just so damn funny! ?
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User #9119760 - 9 Feb 18 15:11
The waxing was podcast gold. <3
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User #9576797 - 10 Feb 18 03:51
Did anyone see my trail mix joke?
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User #9936537 - 28 Feb 18 00:34
Oh snap. You talked about the Mummers...I think that's how you spell it. I'm from Pittsburgh and dated a girl from Philly. So on New Years we went. I'd never heard of it even being in Western PA...but wow...it was innnsaaaaaannneeee. Loved it. Hope you talk about it more in a future show.
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User #9486997 - 9 Feb 18 20:56
Ralph, your wife is a star!!!! She's so funny. Your adventures with the misses has won my wife over, and made her a fan. She's a keeper!!
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User #9390470 - 10 Feb 18 02:53
Kari is a genius. Together they are magical! ?
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User #5505611 - 9 Feb 18 15:25
Is there a possibility for the full interview to be released at the same time as the Friday show? Or very shortly after? I bring this up purely on my own personal schedule, but i didn’t know if it was something others would enjoy as well. With the episode coming out later in the day normally, I usually miss the release. I pretty much only have time for podcasts during work hours, and I would love to be able to zone out and work to an hour (or longer) of the full interview during the day on Friday. It’s dumb, I know, but once the weekend hits, I can’t really listen till Monday, and by then there is another guest and it doesn’t sit well with me. I know, it stupid and probably just a me thing, but I thought I would throw it out. Maybe it makes it easier on the release schedule to just post both? But I can understand if it hurts visibility overall or another metric I’m not thinking about. Just a suggestion, not wanting anyone to detail the show just for my own personal listening habits.
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User #9463599 - 9 Feb 18 16:13
Your waxing experience was fucking fantastic!
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User #9119994 - 12 Feb 18 04:17
I really enjoy the couple adventures with you and Kari. I love that you are willing to try new things.
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User #9109251 - 10 Feb 18 01:31
I wish you had asked about different races skin if it affects preference
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User #2806007 - 14 Feb 18 19:55
Awesome show. LMAO. But please please please please NO music tracks on interviews, my British brain can't handle two audio tracks at once! :-)
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User #672019 - 9 Feb 18 17:46
So in the early part of the waxing adventure, we learn that Sybil will bring up the wife and kids when a client gets aroused. Then, when she's got Ralph on all fours, she asks how Ralph's daughter is doing. Hmmm
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User #9075725 - 9 Feb 18 19:11
Ralph might have been getting flashbacks from his swingin' single days.?
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User #9390470 - 10 Feb 18 02:24
???
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User #182587 - 9 Feb 18 14:28
it's friday it's friday!
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User #9133738 - 10 Feb 18 01:25
Looking forward on the entire sit down with John Cryer. Very entertaining
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User #9470973 - 13 Feb 18 16:58
Let me tell you about this awesome sugar product we won't be using on you! LMAO!
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User #9120814 - 10 Feb 18 02:57
Today was awesome!! They all make me laugh, but today. Today I cried laughing. Ralph, Kari and Cybil. Thank you! ??
Special thanks to Jon Cryer!
Special thanks to Jon Cryer!more_vert
2018-02-08T08:21:38+00:00
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What a great interview this week ...


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Comments (10)
user avatar
User #9089293 - 8 Feb 18 08:26
Oh for sure. Stand up guy. Great interview and I wish it was longer.
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User #9486997 - 8 Feb 18 08:30
Truly an interesting experience, to be able to hear John's passion for criminal justice. I would have never guessed, having been in law enforcement for 14 years.
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User #8597527 - 9 Feb 18 20:05
hi kaitlyn
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User #9226017 - 8 Feb 18 09:02
Im drinking too mr. Ralph.......salud
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User #9083882 - 8 Feb 18 15:35
Its not playing the content for me. It stops randomly and restarts :(
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User #9668224 - 8 Feb 18 21:28
Mine does this, too. Been listening in latest version of Chrome/High Sierra.
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User #9226017 - 8 Feb 18 09:01
Frank garman is drinking, he has to; or else why be up this late....or early.......
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User #9096401 - 8 Feb 18 08:25
He seems like a great person. So humble and nice. I’ve been watching movies he was in since childhood. And, he was hilarious on 2.5men, my fave! Bravo!
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User #9090780 - 8 Feb 18 16:01
TEASE!!! ? Looking forward to the whole interview. Jon seems like a great guy, who’s managed to stay humble & kind, in an industry that needs more people with a conscience. Ralph certainly knows how to keep good company. Birds of a feather, right?
user avatar
User #9679739 - 9 Feb 18 14:56
hi
THE RALPH REPORT for Thursday, February 8th, 2018
THE RALPH REPORT for Thursday, February 8th, 2018more_vert
2018-02-08T14:00:01+00:00
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Today's episode: Kinks and fetishes! Arnold in the Old West! And, Jon Cryer talks SUPERMAN 4!

Comments (26)
user avatar
User #3360126 - 9 Feb 18 00:16
Bree Olson did a whole interview about Charlie and how it scared the shit out of her.
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User #3360126 - 9 Feb 18 00:40
Trees? I've seen the Evil Dead. ???
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User #526191 - 9 Feb 18 01:14
You had me at Superman 4 :)
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User #8051905 - 8 Feb 18 17:43
"I am from Texas Y'all!!" That had me in stitches.
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User #9086394 - 8 Feb 18 22:35
Great episode Ralph, the fetish info was hilarious. Once again John Cryer was a great and interesting guest,so glad he was on. Thank you.
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User #9412367 - 8 Feb 18 19:47
Tee hee chocolate butt...ha-ha!
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User #9087826 - 8 Feb 18 16:12
Ralph, have you seen "Cactus Jack"? It's a 1979 comedy-western with Arnold and Kirk Douglas!
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User #5825677 - 8 Feb 18 16:57
One of my friends has a list of 5 totally off limit fetishes/kinks. He calls them the 5 C's. They are Children, Corpses, Critters, Crap and Kin.
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User #5308013 - 8 Feb 18 14:01
It’s a new episode, don’t cha know! Oh my goodness!
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User #4477651 - 8 Feb 18 17:30
Preparing my ovaries for the cutest interview ever with Ralph and his daughter!
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User #310692 - 8 Feb 18 14:06
Just finished Wednesday’s episode as this one posted. A full hour of Ralph. Good day.... good day.
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User #2531582 - 9 Feb 18 03:33
Thank you, Ralph for pronouncing my last name correctly this time! But seriously, thank you for asking my question to the great Jon Cryer. It was really a comical question as I figured someone would ask about Supermen IV, and I can't wait to hear the entire interview. Thank you again!
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User #9086162 - 8 Feb 18 19:54
I'm in for the long haul, looking forward to hearing you grow and change
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User #9372589 - 8 Feb 18 19:02
Kimmel, Stonestreet, Cryer and Seth Green. You're spoiling us.
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User #328683 - 8 Feb 18 16:56
Love the podcast. We went to the Super Bowl. My husband went to the parade. Would you like pictures
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User #9463599 - 9 Feb 18 14:57
Sounds like Richard Pryor’s widow is a funny gal lol
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User #9081648 - 8 Feb 18 14:45
Loving the Jon Cryer interview... looking forward to the full one? Great show as always, Sir.
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User #9088700 - 8 Feb 18 16:47
Hi Ralph! Enjoying the Jon Cryer interview, particularly the Sean Penn stories. I can imagine his face as he said “Haiti” just full of disdain. Ahhh, priceless! Also, love love love your wife!!!!! OF COURSE, she would be a delite!!! Can’t wait to hear you wax experience. I, sincerely, hope it was better than mine last week, but THAT is a story best told over a few drinks. Anyway, loving the show and thank you sooo much for using my question for Eric Stonestreet, even though you were way drunk by that point. Made me laugh even more, so many thanks, as always. Hugs to you and Kari and hope your daughter is on the mend. ❤️
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User #9417737 - 8 Feb 18 20:07
is Marlon Brando Stewie griffin ? lol
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User #5295054 - 8 Feb 18 19:00
CIGARS!
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User #9102242 - 8 Feb 18 16:17
Man, that is some dedication: He put this up in time for morning commutes, people. Give the man some thanks and love, people do not AM DJ for a reason.
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User #9109251 - 8 Feb 18 14:16
Father daughter movie review should be a regular segment!!
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User #9090780 - 8 Feb 18 14:07
New ep. AND a special thanks to Jon Cryer!? Nice! Thanks, Ralph.
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User #3235230 - 9 Feb 18 06:44
Keep doing your thing Ralph. The show is great. Look forward to it every morning
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User #9109251 - 8 Feb 18 14:36
Yes seth green! Can you get mcfarlan?
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User #9090780 - 8 Feb 18 15:53
Just a matter of time. Think Ralph mentioned MacFarlane as a future guest. As well as, Kevin Smith, Dave Grohl, and I think, Patton Oswalt. He rattled of a list during the NYE Babble-On shows (ep. 305 & 306). Hope this helps.
THE RALPH REPORT for Wednesday, February 7th, 2018
THE RALPH REPORT for Wednesday, February 7th, 2018more_vert
2018-02-07T15:01:00+00:00
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Our "UK Correspondent", Steve Ashton, on the Spice Girl reunion, an update on "Adam West Park", and Jon Cryer and I swap "Sean Penn" stories!

Comments (10)
user avatar
User #9146762 - 7 Feb 18 16:14
Great show. I've really been enjoying your one on ones with guest. Can't wait to see who's next.
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User #9107659 - 7 Feb 18 16:23
Love having you in my ears every morning, keep up the great work! Take care of that little munchkin!
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User #9416330 - 7 Feb 18 15:05
Yuuussss!!!
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User #9433800 - 7 Feb 18 16:36
I am going to be a dad this year Ralph and I am very nervous. Your words on how becoming a dad changes you for the better and how your little girl means everything to you are very comforting. Many thanks!!
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User #9096398 - 7 Feb 18 23:13
Ahhh the Kardashian news you bought out the Ralph rant that’s what I’m talking about.
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User #9090780 - 7 Feb 18 16:46
So Posh quit being a cu—?. I mean... thanks for the ep., Ralph.
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User #9087826 - 7 Feb 18 15:35
We love you, Ralph! We're all here for you, so it's normal that we wish all your loved ones well! Also, thanks for the "Solo" report, yesterday! :)
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User #9086394 - 7 Feb 18 21:15
Awesome show Ralph, John Cryer is a great guest can't wait to see who's next. Thank you.
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User #8597527 - 9 Feb 18 20:11
nice pod
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User #9134546 - 7 Feb 18 15:14
Love the Spice Girls coverage! Tell me what I want, what I really, really want! :)
THE RALPH REPORT for Tuesday, February 6th, 2018
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2018-02-06T14:00:59+00:00
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"The Bachelor", Showbiz News and more with superstar, Jon Cryer!

Comments (19)
user avatar
User #9412367 - 6 Feb 18 17:40
I hope your daughter Olivia feels better soon.
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User #9146762 - 7 Feb 18 16:13
Great show, missed your wife on Bachelor report. Sorry to hear about Olivia - we've been luck that are two little ones have been spared so far, KNOCK ON WOOD.
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User #9551244 - 6 Feb 18 15:25
Missed your wife today, but hope your daughter gets better!
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User #8617332 - 7 Feb 18 03:55
As mentioned, Alan Smithee is the pseudonym used by directors who don't want their name used in the credits. Actors sometimes use a pseudonym for the same purpose and are then identified as George Spelvin, Georgette Spelvin, or Georgina Spelvin.
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User #9417442 - 7 Feb 18 13:27
It is an anagram of the phrase "the alias men" supposedly...but this has never been fully verified as true.
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User #9419509 - 6 Feb 18 23:59
anyone else listen to 2 ralph reports at the same time. i missed mondays so i put today and mondays on at the same time and i loved it!
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User #9127821 - 6 Feb 18 14:03
Yep yep! Can’t wait to listen. Please give a little warning if you’re going to play a Spice Girls song. I was in traffic with the windows open.
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User #9090780 - 6 Feb 18 14:35
Thanks, Ralph! Early bird today, eh?
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User #9086394 - 7 Feb 18 20:43
Another great show Ralph, thank you.
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User #5825677 - 6 Feb 18 15:36
Bud Light isn't beer, which reminds me of this joke After the Great Britain Beer Festival, in London, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer. The guy from Corona sits down and says "Hey Senor, I would like the world's best beer, a Corona." The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him. The guy from Budweiser says "I'd like the best beer in the world, give me 'The King Of Beers', a Budweiser." The bartender gives him one. The guy from Coors says "I'd like the only beer made with Rocky Mountain spring water, give me a Coors." He gets it. The guy from Guinness sits down and says "Give me a Coke." The bartender is a little taken aback, but gives him what he ordered. The other brewery presidents look over at him and ask "Why aren't you drinking a Guinness?" and the Guinness president replies "Well, if you guys aren't drinking beer, neither will I."
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User #9576797 - 6 Feb 18 20:18
That
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User #9576797 - 6 Feb 18 20:18
is a solid joke.
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User #9418719 - 6 Feb 18 17:19
Bummer you can't make it to the parade...Hope Olivia feels better soon!
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User #3360126 - 6 Feb 18 22:54
Record the parade. Video.
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User #3360126 - 6 Feb 18 22:56
Sugar Loaf is better.
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User #3360126 - 6 Feb 18 22:58
I'm the Ralph just got the biggest laugh out if me. ???
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User #8597527 - 6 Feb 18 17:29
excelente ♥
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User #7102900 - 6 Feb 18 16:29
After hearing Ralph's Quasimodo, I feel ol' Quasi needs to show up from time to time.
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User #9936537 - 26 Feb 18 02:31
Yuengling!!! I live in Texas, but you can get it now on the Lousiana border. When we visited my gf's family I grabbed some for special occassions.
THE RALPH REPORT for Monday, February 5, 2018
THE RALPH REPORT for Monday, February 5, 2018more_vert
2018-02-05T14:56:33+00:00
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Fly Eagles Fly! Plus, showbiz news and Jon Cryer!

Comments (42)
user avatar
User #9412367 - 5 Feb 18 20:16
This Super Bowl was the first time I paid more attention to the game than the commercials. Great job Eagles! So happy for you Ralph.
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User #6180222 - 5 Feb 18 15:36
Someone’s horse is getting punched!!!! Congrats Eagles!
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User #9104419 - 5 Feb 18 18:41
So happy for your EAGLES! plus i won the office pool woo hoo!
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User #9096401 - 6 Feb 18 10:45
Very excited you’ll be covering the Olympics, can’t wait! I LOVE John Cryer, such a genuine soul ?
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User #4477651 - 5 Feb 18 17:56
Ralph...papapapa poker face...would you like to take that back?!?
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User #9087826 - 5 Feb 18 16:31
Ralph, no SOLO trailer report? Hope we get one tomorrow?... Great show, as always!!!
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User #9107659 - 6 Feb 18 01:06
Go Eagles!
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User #9420965 - 11 Feb 18 00:08
a glorious day here in Philly!!!! Fly Eagles Fly!
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User #9347298 - 6 Feb 18 18:58
Loving the podcast Ralph! Keep up the great work!
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User #9679739 - 7 Feb 18 15:27
hi
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User #9551244 - 5 Feb 18 17:08
Congratulations to your eagles Ralph! Also glad to hear that your wife is going to be joining you for the bachelor report from now on! Do you have any plans for that segment after the bachelor finishes?
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User #7227965 - 5 Feb 18 15:36
Figured he'd be drunk still lol
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User #9380818 - 5 Feb 18 20:22
Oh Ralph!!! Congrats on the Eagles win! It's a good thing you cannot file on yourself.
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User #7102900 - 5 Feb 18 16:28
Yesterday I watched the Super Bowl for only the third time in my life. Enjoyed the hell out of it.
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User #3360126 - 6 Feb 18 00:43
It was a really good game
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User #6779758 - 5 Feb 18 16:52
Congrats Ralph. I don't give 2 Trumps about sports but was very happy for you and the Eagles win. Couldn't wait to hear this mornings podcast.
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User #9139715 - 5 Feb 18 17:11
EAGLES!!!!
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User #9099117 - 5 Feb 18 17:23
I just love Ducky ❤ ...great show.
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User #3360126 - 6 Feb 18 00:43
It was definitely awesome to see the Egales win
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User #9086394 - 5 Feb 18 22:38
So happy the Eagles won. Fly eagles fly, great episode Ralph thank you.
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User #9086394 - 5 Feb 18 23:01
John Cryer was a great guest.
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User #5308013 - 5 Feb 18 14:57
Boom!
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User #948344 - 5 Feb 18 15:17
FLY EAGLES FLY CONGRATS RALPH
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User #9416330 - 5 Feb 18 14:59
Yaaaassss
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User #9077416 - 5 Feb 18 18:13
Just love it and congrats on your Eagles winning the big one
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User #9404958 - 5 Feb 18 15:34
I was sure Ralph would sleep in today after partying all night!
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User #8326119 - 5 Feb 18 15:43
Was so excited for this man! Happy Monday indeed!
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User #9133589 - 5 Feb 18 17:32
Don’t bother with waxing, go straight to laser ???
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User #9082867 - 5 Feb 18 15:09
Drunk Ralph is my favorite!!!!!
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User #9651390 - 6 Feb 18 05:52
Ralph! I finally got my account set up here and I was so happy again to hear your voice this morning! I was heartbroken when you had to leave [that other show], and I have never listened to them again. Thanks so much for doing this!! You made me laugh out loud several times this morning - just like the old days. :) Hearts!!
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User #9234243 - 5 Feb 18 21:36
I'm having a great time listening to your podcast. Happy for the Eagles win too!
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User #9433800 - 5 Feb 18 16:57
E-A-G-L-E-S!
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User #9083023 - 5 Feb 18 15:20 - revision 2
Yes! Drunk Ralph and an Eagles win! Happy Monday!!! ?????
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User #9078032 - 5 Feb 18 17:16
Congratulations on the Eagles win Ralph!
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User #9090780 - 5 Feb 18 15:07
Nice job, Ralph. You made it! ?
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User #9684473 - 8 Feb 18 03:31
GO EAGLES! Do not follow NFL. Sometimes do not even know who is playing the Superbowl until game day. Immediately cheered on the Eagles due to Ralph! And watched them hold back the Patriots the rest of the game.
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User #9423371 - 5 Feb 18 14:58
Fly Eagles Fly!!
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User #9090780 - 5 Feb 18 15:07 - revision 2
Nice job, Ralph. You made it! ?
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User #9109251 - 8 Feb 18 01:39
I like the add of the batman noise when you transition between segments!
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User #9087826 - 5 Feb 18 15:32
Not a football fan AT ALL, but I was so happy for you this morning, Ralph!!! Also, I always love a good underdog story!!!
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User #9449797 - 5 Feb 18 16:38
Congrats Ralph on the Eagle’s long overdue SB win. Enjoy the celebration.
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User #9410032 - 5 Feb 18 18:37
Lol we get the Super Bowl up here in Canada too! ????
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User #9083023 - 5 Feb 18 15:20
Yes! Drunk Ralph and an Eagles win! Happy Monday!!! ?????
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User #188305 - 5 Feb 18 14:58
Nice!!!
THE RALPH REPORT Bonus Audio! The complete Eric Stonestret interview!
THE RALPH REPORT Bonus Audio! The complete Eric Stonestret interview!more_vert
2018-02-02T23:16:03+00:00
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THE RALPH REPORT Bonus Audio! The complete Eric Stonestret interview! 2018-02-02T23:16:03+00:00close

As a bonus for you 2, 3 and 4 star generals! You get to hear it ALL in its bourbon-soaked glory!!

Comments (19)
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User #9109251 - 7 Feb 18 02:00
Eric making me cry. Don't shop; adopt!
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User #3360126 - 2 Feb 18 23:18
Just started Predator on HBO Now, this will have to wait till tomorrow. ?
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User #9088260 - 5 Feb 18 04:53
Go Eagles ? Congratulations Ralph!
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User #9551244 - 3 Feb 18 17:04
Love the full interviews, and feel that Stonestreets Meats needs to be a real thing!!!
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User #9081648 - 4 Feb 18 19:57
Just finished up the entire Interview... what an awesome listen to be a fly on the wall of this conversation of two buddies enjoying a drink, a laugh, and all around good company of friends? Ralph, interviews are going to be an awesome bonus to the already great segments of your daily show.
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User #9448561 - 6 Feb 18 13:00
This was the funniest 90 min. So great
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User #9116526 - 5 Feb 18 03:47
Ralph will still be partying tomorrow morning. The report might be delayed. Lol. Congrats Eagles!
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User #4477651 - 2 Feb 18 23:17
I upgraded specifically for this!
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User #9209168 - 6 Feb 18 01:40
I could not hit the Like button enough. This was hilarious! I would go see one of these live.
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User #9090780 - 2 Feb 18 23:34 - revision 2
Ahhh... ear whisky! ?? Thanks, Ralph!
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User #9263120 - 5 Feb 18 03:21
THE MOTHER FUCKING EAGLES!!!! Can’t wait to hear the monday show!
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User #328683 - 3 Feb 18 13:39
As a Philadelphian 4 Star general, I will keep you informed of Super Bowl weekend. My husband and I took our two grown children to the Minneapolis for the weekend. The Eagle fans outnumber patriot fans. The plane was full and the the fight song was song many times. The other fans look at as funny when we yell go birds to each other, whom we can tell are Eagle fans by the amount of stuff we wear. Go Birds!
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User #9454379 - 5 Feb 18 07:19
Amazing interview and am amazing game. Grats on game Ralph!
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User #9268399 - 4 Feb 18 05:45
I totally want a Stonestreet Meats t-shirt! If Eric sold them on Represent, he could raise a ton of cash for the hospital.
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User #9147405 - 5 Feb 18 19:08
I always like hearing interview where both people are obviously having fun. Excellent job Ralph!
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User #3360126 - 2 Feb 18 23:18 - revision 2
Just started Predator on HBO Now, this will have to wait till tomorrow. ?
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User #4748505 - 6 Feb 18 16:38
Stonestreet Meats so needs to be a thing!!
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User #3360126 - 3 Feb 18 14:53
Ralph was a clown?!? ???
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User #3360126 - 3 Feb 18 15:03
My gf in HS had a horse. Couldn't do a whole lot though, her mother bought it because it broke it's leg an owner was going to shoot it. So he said 500$ an you can take him. So she did.
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User #9090780 - 2 Feb 18 23:34
Ahhh... ear whisky! ?? Thanks, Ralph!
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User #9088260 - 5 Feb 18 04:52
"Pete La Cock!!"?? That shit had me rolling on the floor.
THE RALPH REPORT for Friday, February 2, 2018
THE RALPH REPORT for Friday, February 2, 2018more_vert
2018-02-02T14:58:24+00:00
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Listener emails, being Mr. Freeze, and last highlight of bourbon & bonding with Eric Stonestreet!

Comments (35)
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User #4748505 - 2 Feb 18 16:31
I love Ralph’s Cesar Romero laugh during the “Stonestreet Meats” bit!
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User #4477651 - 2 Feb 18 18:33
Upgraded to hear more Eric Stonestreet. I need me some Stonestreet meat!
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User #9100043 - 2 Feb 18 20:12
Drunk Interviews with Ralph is actually a really funny idea. I tried to do it with my buddy but I was embarrassed after playing it back when sober -_-
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User #616111 - 2 Feb 18 22:00
Well... I look forward to interviewing for the Planetary Union Network: The Orville Fan Podcast, and maybe the new Raw Nerd Podcast launching later this month.
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User #9090780 - 2 Feb 18 15:53
Thanks, Ralph!
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User #9133738 - 2 Feb 18 15:24
It's a 2nd week wrap!
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User #9343291 - 2 Feb 18 22:46
All for trying new things, but I was a little bummed to hear Ralph promote the pseudoscience of cryotherapy and not at least mention that nothing it promotes has ever been scientifically proven. Ralph is so hard on Goop, I thought he would be a bit more cautious about pushing unconfirmed claims.
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User #3463330 - 2 Feb 18 23:14
He’s hard on Goop because its run by a well known and at one time respected celeb who’s gone off the reservation. And she’s using her rep to push grossly over priced products and experiences, without a single thought to the harm her influence can cause to anyone buying into the quacks and charlatans she’s in business with. Without hearing the bit, this sounds nothing like all of that. I highly doubt the facility Ralph went to will be in the HBO ad rotation!
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User #9343291 - 2 Feb 18 23:25
I was simply saying I wish he would have mentioned that the “science behind it”, (a term that was used more then once in regard to chryotherepy in this episode) has not in fact been proven in any scientific study. You did not listen as you say, but he does recommend the clinic by name, which is a form of advertising. That was not an issue I had, but since you brought it up. Just sharing, what I thought was, a calm opinion about any one, in any forum, or level of celebrity being careful about promoting pseudoscience with out mentioning that it is not proven.
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User #3360126 - 3 Feb 18 01:16
I'm sure it's not that harmful if Kari's doing it a couple times a month with out him.
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User #6363765 - 3 Feb 18 01:29
I still listen to those two white guys in the morning who shall not be named ( I only use the archives, no radio or podcast, so I'm not adding to their ratings) But I listen to the Ralph Report first and it seems that they are doing all the same stories from your showbiz beat on their new wannabe showbiz beat segments. :joy:
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User #9435600 - 2 Feb 18 15:32
Cryotherapy...you wife has created her own beermug
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User #9372792 - 2 Feb 18 21:01
"bone in ribeye" is the best code word for a speakeasy ever
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User #9343291 - 3 Feb 18 01:21
I didnt say it was going to harm him. I said that cryotherapy has not been proven to actually do any of the things it claims to do in scientific studies. No long term studies have been done to see what the effects are either. I just wish that had been mentioned so that everyone listening was aware of this just being a thing to try and not actually based in any real science after the sales guy claimed it was. Usually Ralph is not a fan of pseudoscience and that’s one of the reasons I like him but this time he just didn’t mention it when I thought he would.
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User #9107659 - 2 Feb 18 17:20
Another great one, keep it up!
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User #9116966 - 2 Feb 18 21:15
"Too soon!" -Lead detective on the Natalie Wood case
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User #8051905 - 2 Feb 18 16:35
Wanting to hear the whole interview upsold me to a 2Star.
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User #9407193 - 2 Feb 18 17:27
You can do cryotherapy at home via: "the shower"... Take cold showers in the morning gives the same effect and its a lot cheaper than doing Cryotherapy...
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User #3360126 - 2 Feb 18 17:45
Or be could just move back to Philly. ???
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User #9410736 - 2 Feb 18 17:08
Really need a better audio player (or video) or allow downloads because the stream keeps stopping and restarting. Anyone else having that problem?
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User #9083582 - 2 Feb 18 17:55
Yup :( its a bummer!
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User #4380864 - 2 Feb 18 18:45
I haven’t had any issues, but you can downloaded them. Have you clicked on the downward arrow ⬇️ ?
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User #9410736 - 2 Feb 18 19:37
I don't have a download arrow anywhere to click on.
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User #9410736 - 3 Feb 18 00:50
Thanks Ralph!
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User #4196874 - 2 Feb 18 19:55
Go Eagles! for this weekend. Ill always be a 49er fan but I think Philly deserves the win.
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User #8987663 - 2 Feb 18 18:57
You can talk about anything. It is your podcast hell you can talk about Chuck e cheese
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User #7227965 - 2 Feb 18 15:14
Such a great chat with Eric Stonestreet. I'm a Raiders fan, so GO EAGLES!!!!! Just don't want to see Brady win another.
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User #9086394 - 2 Feb 18 22:43
Great episode Ralph, we appreciate it can not wait for next week.
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User #2531582 - 2 Feb 18 16:45
So essentially Eric would want to be a barbecue caterer and local butcher. We have a lot of those here in Texas. ?
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User #9433800 - 2 Feb 18 15:52
(for Ralph) Fly, Eagles Fly!!
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User #4380864 - 2 Feb 18 18:42
STONESTREER MEAT!!!!!!?? ? such a great interview! I swear you were channeling you inner Dudley Moore ha haaaa
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User #9447849 - 2 Feb 18 15:26
One last time. Go Pats!
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User #7227965 - 2 Feb 18 15:35
If the Pats winning leads to Brady and/or Belichick retiring, I think I might be ok with that :)
THE RALPH REPORT for Thursday, February 1, 2018
THE RALPH REPORT for Thursday, February 1, 2018more_vert
2018-02-01T15:04:33+00:00
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A night with Nick Nolte, Bondage & Discipline, and more with Eric Stonestreet!

Comments (29)
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User #9416330 - 1 Feb 18 15:09
Yaaassss!!!
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User #9307337 - 1 Feb 18 18:09
Haha I love the fight with Eric Stonestreet :D
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User #9576797 - 2 Feb 18 00:50
Another great episode indeed.
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User #9090780 - 1 Feb 18 17:52
I’m just incredibly relieved to see the number of patrons... I was bracing for the worst, it’s great to still see it above 5.5k! Congratulations, Ralph! May it only grow from here! ??
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User #9103391 - 2 Feb 18 05:49
Pete LaCock!
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User #9090780 - 1 Feb 18 17:52 - revision 2
I’m just incredibly relieved to see the number of patrons... I was bracing for the worst, it’s great to still see it above 5.5k! Congratulations, Ralph! May it only grow from here! ??
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User #9086394 - 2 Feb 18 00:47
Great show Ralph Eric was awesome and you were too. Thank you.
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User #9343291 - 2 Feb 18 22:49
Thanks for explaining the BDSM community so clearly and being so clear that just because you’re submissive doesn’t mean you’re not an equal part of the experience. When 50 shades came out I had coworkers (I was a bartender) asking me all sorts of questions. Those books promoted a very wrong idea of the relationships. Love hearing a more normalized explanation!
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User #9058941 - 1 Feb 18 16:51
"Fuck Stick". I like it.
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User #9105575 - 1 Feb 18 17:45
Love this episode!
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User #9417442 - 1 Feb 18 16:31
Excellent show! Keep the longer episodes coming...can never be too long!
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User #9134546 - 1 Feb 18 15:25
Excellent, now I can start my morning!
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User #9102920 - 1 Feb 18 16:31
This is the first thing I listen to every morning while working. Keep up the good work, Ralph!
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User #9099013 - 1 Feb 18 15:13
The longest report to date I believe. AWESOME!
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User #3360126 - 2 Feb 18 01:26
Last Thursday was long too. Idk if it was longer though.
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User #9100088 - 1 Feb 18 19:10
Peter Marshall is Pete Lacock's dad
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User #3463330 - 2 Feb 18 00:47
Oddly this came up a few weeks ago in a Random Baseball Things I Just Learned thread in a baseball forum I’m a member of.
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User #8597527 - 1 Feb 18 21:42
Ralph I would like to talk to you, I have seen a note about you, and I saw that you have some old batman toys, I would like to show you what I have, they are old and very rare to see, since they were built in my country, Argentina and they are very scarce, I would like to show you some image, I will try to put a link here if it does not bother you! I hope you contact me, greetings! (I do not even know what about your page is about, just contact you about the vintage toys od Batman! Now I'll see a little bit since i'm your patron now :P
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User #9412367 - 1 Feb 18 19:29
The argument between Eric and Ralph was hilarious. Had it gone any further, I'm sure at some point Ralph would have said "I will fight you!!" Hahahahaha!
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User #9084792 - 1 Feb 18 17:58
Shame! Left shark was two years ago. Left shark is offended.
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User #4477651 - 1 Feb 18 19:17
I love angry Ralph! Pissed off with Eric is priceless.
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User #7227965 - 1 Feb 18 18:57
Best part of this interview :P
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User #3360126 - 2 Feb 18 01:48
Never heard Ralph get so hostile before. Not even to Kevin. ???
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User #9413888 - 1 Feb 18 17:46
Much appreciated, Ralph. I am in deep nasty love with the report!
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User #4380864 - 1 Feb 18 17:30 - revision 2
What a fun show!! Some good chuckles today! ??
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User #2532129 - 1 Feb 18 17:29
During the Stonestreet interview you can slowly hear Ralph start speaking like a certain “Party Bus” somebody! LOL ??
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User #8597527 - 2 Feb 18 03:02
very nice batman collection! awesome I saw videos on youtube
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User #9092111 - 1 Feb 18 17:27
Does anyone know how to get the podcast to play on Alexa?
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User #9436376 - 1 Feb 18 15:10
Thank you, Ralph.
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User #2532129 - 1 Feb 18 17:29 - revision 2
During the Stonestreet interview you can slowly hear Ralph start speaking like a certain “Party Bus” somebody! LOL ??
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User #8597527 - 1 Feb 18 21:38
Hi everyone, I'm new here
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User #4380864 - 1 Feb 18 17:30
What a fun show!! Some good chuckles today! ??
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